Sexual Abstinence...

Alright,

Let's hypothesize that there are two people: One male, one female. One very beautiful, attractive, intelligent, kind, good-hearted female.

This female calls the male because she is now homeless due to violating her halfway-house's policy on not consuming a beverage containing the chemical ethanol. Family of female is teaching her a lesson by not letting her stay in her parents' home.

Male says, "Yeah, cool. Stop on by, we'll have the house to ourselves." Which happens to be the truth as male is holding down the fort.

Both male and female have flirted a shit-ton with each other in the past, before female entered a program that claims that abstinence, not just from substances, but sex, for some dumb motherfucking reason, is dangerous and very unhealthy for the female, who is a smokin' young lady, that male cares about. And male knows that female is a very decent human being who does not deserve to be hurt.

Is male not having sex with female the right thing to do? Is it O.K. if female makes several advances that male caves, or at least limit themselves to oral? Please?

Male would like to know what this sexual abstinence bullshit is about. Female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy and there have been unspoken words on the minds of both male and female pertaining to what they would do together, that is ... before female had serious liver function impairment and is supposed to follow an oath of abstinence even during female's relapse if female is supposed to stay healthy. Male does not want to, in any way, do anything hurtful and/or detrimental to female's recuperation.

Help male not castrate himself.

Let her first find someplace else to go, or an alternative other than a halfway house. If she has options that don't suck, yet she still wants to move forward, then by all means.

If she makes the moves, go for it. Otherwise, if you know A) she's for some reason enrolled in some weird-ass abstinence program, and B) she's not indicated yet that she's deviating from it (at least the sex part), it's up to her to make the first move.

-TheE-

Male should bring female to a rehabilitation-type-program (not live-in, just help) that is not retarded enough to think sex = drugs/alcohol. Once female realizes that indulging in non-chemical-induced fun is perfectly okay, male should fuck her brains out. Until she realizes that though, he should leave her alone (sorry). Helping her go against a successful route to recovery (no matter how misguided in this case) = bad.

Is a night in the sack worth her breaking down tomorrow and thinking she's a terrible person for not sticking to this abstinence thing, and seeking solace in her chemical of choice?

Edit: Though if she got booted for drinking, her current route isn't all that successful. If you can convince her tonight that the people in the halfway house are retarded, and you'll help her find help that really works, go for yours. Note that she has to actually realize those people were retarded, and you have to actually help her after getting some.

I agree with Lia. That said...

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e3...1709156951.jpg

Is there a "K"?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Liagala

Male should bring female to a rehabilitation-type-program (not live-in, just help) that is not retarded enough to think sex = drugs/alcohol. Once female realizes that indulging in non-chemical-induced fun is perfectly okay, male should fuck her brains out. Until she realizes that though, he should leave her alone (sorry). Helping her go against a successful route to recovery (no matter how misguided in this case) = bad.

Is a night in the sack worth her breaking down tomorrow and thinking she's a terrible person for not sticking to this abstinence thing, and seeking solace in her chemical of choice?

Edit: Though if she got booted for drinking, her current route isn't all that successful. If you can convince her tonight that the people in the halfway house are retarded, and you'll help her find help that really works, go for yours. Note that she has to actually realize those people were retarded, and you have to actually help her after getting some.

---

Thank you.

Fuck though.

Following on EF's suggestion, just slap a condom on and titfuck that bitch.

Let her lie there and just jerk off over her.


Also, do handjobs/tittyjobs/footjobs count? (I'd say anal, but I think it counts)

Don't touch her.

If you want something lasting beyond her recovery that is.

/opinion

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Originally Posted by Nachos DLC

Following on EF's suggestion, just slap a condom on and titfuck that bitch.

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I'd nut this time. Even if my grandmothers were watching me.

Fuck. Shit. I didn't blow up Megaton the first time. I dunno.

Go ahead and develop a relationship without the sex. See if she's right for you. You can talk, and in her state, more talk, less nookie is probably good. Try that for a while, but make sure the boundaries are clear to both parties.

I once designed a meditation center for The Hazelden Foundation, which is an addiction recovery facility. When I was working on the project, some of the facilities people said that one of the things that happens when addicts come off their addiction is that they begin to see the value of other pleasurable acts, as well as regain function in other areas of pleasure like sex, that they'd lost due to the drugs. So one of the big problems they have is people who haven't had sex in a while (at least that meant anything) finally have their lebido back, sneaking off into the bushes to get busy.

The problem is that it can lead to addiction transferance or to a lack of focus on the problem they really need to deal with, not to mention having sex with people where the only thing they share is often a common addiction. That can almost never lead to anything good, because as they continue to get their lives back again and the addiction/recovery is no longer the center of their lives, then all they see is everything they DON'T share with that person. So... and I know I'm rambling, that's one reason they often think abstinance is a good thing for newly recovering addicts. And oh, no doors in the meditation center. No hiding places.

Uh my reasoning was a little less technical...I think she's vulnerable right now and likely to feel taken advantage of when she's less vulnerable. That's all.

I have nothing to back up my feeling about it though. Total opinion only.

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

Female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy

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If male really cares about female, and female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy, then male needs to overcome urges and practice abstinence.

When people are vulnerable and clingy, they tend to look for outside validation of their worth. She needs to reach a state where she's strong enough to be her own validation. By having sex with her now, there's the possibility that she would use you as her validation, keeping her from realizing her own potential. If this happens and the relationship ends, she'll be hurt more than she is now, because she'll feel as if she's lost not only a boyfriend, but also her sense of worth. Alternatively, she might later see you as having used her neediness as a means to get her into bed. I've jumped into relationships when I was feeling needy myself. In my experience, it never ends well.

(Let me clarify before I post: She's not asking for advice, Stan is. Her state is of no concern to me unless it has an effect on Stan. Now I ramble.)

One idea of abstinence therapy is for when the person has a problem with impulse control; they're not really a drug addict but more of a general addict. Pleasurable things are done in great quantities to the detriment of the person.

Many shrinks will diagnose women like this with borderline personality disorder, especially in their late-teens, early-twenties. Other shrinks will tell aforementioned shrinks that they're full of shit. That's psychology for ya.

I've typically diagnosed them with "They need a good deep dicking". I was seldom correct in my assumption. They're a wild fun time, though.

However, you may find that you're on the road to becoming captain save-a-ho. That is never a good place to be.

I say if you need it, go for it. Her issues are on her shoulders, not yours. Your conscience needn't be bothered. You might pay for it down the road, but it's a good time while it lasts.

That said, you're a good guy and I think you're already feeling poorly about it. She's got some wires crossed, and it might be hard for you to escape the feeling that you're taking advantage. If that's the case, that feeling won't get better with more 'activity', but will likely get worse.

If I recall, you had a bit of an addiction thing going, as well. It's never a good idea to regressively exist back in that world, either.

It's up to you. Just do a cost/benefit. I'd probably hit it and deal with potential consequences as they come. Makes for an interesting, drama-filled life that has a sweeping effect on everyone around you. I'm also a dumbass, so going with what I'd do is kinda silly.

HAHAHAHAHA! PWNDDDDDD

Ok so this is what you should do. Get naked. Oil yourself up like buttah. Fro up your pubes and jew hair. Put on that leopard thong I sent you. Wait till she is fast asleep on your couch. Turn off the lights except for the strobe disco ball you (should) have twirling around (at all times). When you are CERTAIN she is in the middle of a REM cycle blast the jungle boogy and get down get down. By get down, get down of course I mean sky dive off the highest surface you can find into her sleeping (hopefully prone) body so that you land balls deep in her ass. Seriously she wont mind. And if she does we could probably prove in court that you thought she said 'ass dives' not abstinence. Or that abstinence means 'ass dives' in yiddish.

Get down Get down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FePXu7LeW8A


Glad I could help.

See now, I know *I* would be totally cool with that suggestion. What normal, sane (as I am!) woman wouldn't be?!

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However, you may find that you're on the road to becoming captain save-a-ho. That is never a good place to be.

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So, so true.

Alright, I'm smoking a tobacco pipe with black Cavendish, so I've been able to do the math:

On a purely physical basis, since she's a 7¾ or a flat 9 if you like 5"0' chicks, I think what I'll do is...

25%-chance: Unbutton her blouse and get real comfortable.

25%-chance: Keep saying lots of words and pretend like I'm listening (I do want to hear her out, but I'm only getting 3 hrs. of sleep until she's dropped off.)

15%-chance: Oversleep deliberately and open the door for her looking like I touched the third rail.

5%-chance: Shave my nad hair and snip the pubes around around my wang-base so my shlong looks longer.

0.5%-chance: Take my bottle of Absolut out of its homeostatic 0° Kelvin and hide it, just in case.

0.25%-chance: Deliberately initiate a fuck-the-world mentality conversation and offer her a drink.

0.25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Deny her my dick pounding. So hard. That it's popping out her other set of lips.

4%-chance: Of rain. Whereby I jerk it to her figure while she sleeps in the guest room.

25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Pound her. So hard. That my dick's popping out of her other set of lips.

And the other half would probably be just hanging out and shooting the shit and not taking advantage of someone I care greatly about, probably.

.

I'm'a blow up Megaton no matter how this ends up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

Alright, I'm smoking a tobacco pipe with black Cavendish, so I've been able to do the math:

On a purely physical basis, since she's a 7¾ or a flat 9 if you like 5"0' chicks, I think what I'll do is...

25%-chance: Unbutton her blouse and get real comfortable.

25%-chance: Keep saying lots of words and pretend like I'm listening (I do want to hear her out, but I'm only getting 3 hrs. of sleep until she's dropped off.)

15%-chance: Oversleep deliberately and open the door for her looking like I touched the third rail.

5%-chance: Shave my nad hair and snip the pubes around around my wang-base so my shlong looks longer.

0.5%-chance: Take my bottle of Absolut out of its homeostatic 0° Kelvin and hide it, just in case.

0.25%-chance: Deliberately initiate a fuck-the-world mentality conversation and offer her a drink.

0.25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Deny her my dick pounding. So hard. That it's popping out her other set of lips.

4%-chance: Of rain. Whereby I jerk it to her figure while she sleeps in the guest room.

25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Pound her. So hard. That my dick's popping out of her other set of lips.

And the other half would probably be just hanging out and shooting the shit and not taking advantage of someone I care greatly about, probably.

.

I'm'a blow up Megaton no matter how this ends up.

---

Achievement: Double Pounder With Cheese
By the time you're done with her, her lady parts should look like ground hamburger coated with ranch dressing. Pound hard until achievement complete.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

0° Kelvin

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:(

Quote:

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Is male not having sex with female the right thing to do?

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Yes.

Quote:

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Help male not castrate himself.

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Cast-iron undies.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by radamanthys

Achievement: Double Pounder With Cheese
By the time you're done with her, her lady parts should look like ground hamburger coated with ranch dressing. Pound hard until achievement complete.

---

I am so hot for you right now.

Bah, here we go.

Druggies shouldnt copulate.

That should be all you need to know.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

Alright,

Let's hypothesize that there are two people: One male, one female. One very beautiful, attractive, intelligent, kind, good-hearted female.

This female calls the male because she is now homeless due to violating her halfway-house's policy on not consuming a beverage containing the chemical ethanol. Family of female is teaching her a lesson by not letting her stay in her parents' home.

Male says, "Yeah, cool. Stop on by, we'll have the house to ourselves." Which happens to be the truth as male is holding down the fort.

Both male and female have flirted a shit-ton with each other in the past, before female entered a program that claims that abstinence, not just from substances, but sex, for some dumb motherfucking reason, is dangerous and very unhealthy for the female, who is a smokin' young lady, that male cares about. And male knows that female is a very decent human being who does not deserve to be hurt.

Is male not having sex with female the right thing to do? Is it O.K. if female makes several advances that male caves, or at least limit themselves to oral? Please?

Male would like to know what this sexual abstinence bullshit is about. Female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy and there have been unspoken words on the minds of both male and female pertaining to what they would do together, that is ... before female had serious liver function impairment and is supposed to follow an oath of abstinence even during female's relapse if female is supposed to stay healthy. Male does not want to, in any way, do anything hurtful and/or detrimental to female's recuperation.

Help male not castrate himself.

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Ok.. hypothetically.. you are the "male"?

1) Where did your parents go that would take them out of the house for so long?

2) Smoking hot? Really? What else is wrong with her.. besides her addiction to drugs? Is she blind or stupid? Does she have a history of going out with complete losers?

3) You should bang her now.. while she's still obviously under the influence. When she sobers up and sees you for what you are, there's no way in hell it'll happen. Do it now, do it today, do it often. Sure it's not the "right" thing to do.. but when she won't give you the time of day after detox, won't you feel better knowing you tapped that ass?

Well, I managed to keep on recycling what you guys told me to do...

...Until she drank all of my vodka, I think, and got me stoned beyond all human comprehension.

What was good though was that I am so fucking blitzed, that when we are the couch and she was making repeated advances at me, it's like ... Wait?

That being said, we, or I, just woke up next to each on the couch on-top of each and, I think, I hopefully at the most, kissed her. Also, my bottom lip is puffed up like I said the wrong thing to somebody.

I kept telling her she was a good person, even when I was pale-faced from the amount of weed I have smoked. Also, I became super paranoid and shaking while reliving long-forgotten trips (happens to me when I smoke up, sometimes) which has been helpful because I think it's interacting quite well with my 60mgs of Lexapro and zero hours of sleep for the last-too-long-time and blocking my weiner from getting hard. I mean, I am so fucking out there right now, that I'm in the outer dark space of the universe infinity times ahead of this one.

I've got some viagra from a thousand years ago and am wanting to eat it, but not a good idea.

http://ablogination.tn420.org/blog/m...0/legalize.jpg

Fair day to ye all, Lords and Ladies.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

...Until she drank all of my vodka, I think, and got me stoned beyond all human comprehension.

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(Insert Methais facepalm collage here).

Really Stan? You know better. Srsly.

smoking hot or hot when you're smoking? SS or it didn't happen...

What a great guy you are. You got a girl, who is in a program where she is supposed to abstain from anything addictive.. and has severe liver problems, drunk off her ass to the point where she would actually have sex with someone like you.. and you were too high and sleep deprived to get a hardon to do it?

As if there hasn't been enough reasons to believe you are a piece of human trash.. I hope your parents didn't come home to a mess.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Liagala

(Insert Methais facepalm collage here).

Really Stan? You know better. Srsly.

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What in his history of posting here makes you believe that Stanley really knows better?

Stanley you FUCKED UP.

Getting high severely decreases impact velocity of the ass dive. Now you might hydroplane into the coffee table. Or tear your thong. Or defluff your fros. This is terrible.

Now I have to think of an ass dive contingency plan.

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Originally Posted by Parkbandit

What in his history of posting here makes you believe that Stanley really knows better?

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Kicking a drug habit is not as easy as it looks. Last night's idiocy is definitely retarded, but we all do dumb shit now and then. As a general rule, he knows better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by radamanthys

I've typically diagnosed them with "They need a good deep dicking". I was seldom correct in my assumption. They're a wild fun time, though.

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How would you know you're incorrect, if they never received the prescribed deep dicking? ;)

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Originally Posted by TheEschaton

How would you know you're incorrect, if they never received the prescribed deep dicking? ;)

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I think he's saying that he gave it to them but it turned out that they were still crazy/troubled/sick/whatever. Oh to be a crazy ho.

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Originally Posted by DCSL

Oh to be a crazy ho.

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I'm trying to keep track of the awesome in this thread.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DCSL

I think he's saying that he gave it to them but it turned out that they were still crazy/troubled/sick/whatever. Oh to be a crazy ho.

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http://www.bbea.ws/WHOOSH2.gif

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :/

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Originally Posted by Liagala

Kicking a drug habit is not as easy as it looks. Last night's idiocy is definitely retarded, but we all do dumb shit now and then. As a general rule, he knows better.

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I hadn't realized that Stanley was kicking the habit again.. and to be honest, I wasn't even talking about that. I was talking about him letting this girl who is in a program and has a bad liver to drink vodka to the point she wanted to do something very stupid that she would obviously regret the next morning.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Parkbandit

I hadn't realized that Stanley was kicking the habit again.. and to be honest, I wasn't even talking about that. I was talking about him letting this girl who is in a program and has a bad liver to drink vodka to the point she wanted to do something very stupid that she would obviously regret the next morning.

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Yeah, I'm not the pusher here, but thanks for your concern. And for some reason; and I don't know why, getting blazed up can make you make bad decisions in the eyes of others.

Anyway, she's convinced me that she needs booze -- And she started crying and shit, telling me about serious fucking shit that's happened to her and what have you. Her life is a fucking mess, I'm just trying to help her out. I know once this weed I was retarded enough to blaze up on wears off, I am going to have to say what are probably more appropriate courses of action for her. That's gonna be a downer. I'm just trying to think of how to properly word it out in complete anticlimactic-ness to what has happened thus far.

Alright, keep you guys updated.

I'd say the decision to nail her or not boils down to if (and how seriously) you have any considerations of a longer-term future with her.

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

Anyway, she's convinced me that she needs booze

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Liagala

(Insert Methais facepalm collage here)

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^

Women...

Maybe you should buy her a chocolate penis that ejaculates money.















*quoted from the quatrains of khalain

I'm always very wary about fucking the intoxicated. I knew a girl who was a total slut when she got drunk and then literally every time she fucked a guy, she'd tell me she thought she was raped. This happened seriously no less than 10 times before she finally just realized she was a whore. On the other hand, if its someone you can actually trust, get high as a fucking kite and hit it like its never been hit before.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Delias

I'm always very wary about fucking the intoxicated. I knew a girl who was a total slut when she got drunk and then literally every time she fucked a guy, she'd tell me she thought she was raped. This happened seriously no less than 10 times before...

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And I've figured out that that's exactly what I'm dealing with. There's a reason she's on anti-psychotics.

I have to grow a sack tomorrow and tell her to bounce. For this sort've behavior to be perpetuated ... It could, like PB said, kill her.

She already did a nice job clogging my toilet and slipping onto the side of her head on the wet tiles. Yeah -- pass me the fertilizer, it's time to grow my scrotum. There's gonna be trees growing out of this motherfucker.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

And I've figured out that that's exactly what I'm dealing with. There's a reason she's on anti-psychotics.

I have to grow a sack tomorrow and tell her to bounce. For this sort've behavior to be perpetuated ... It could, like PB said, kill her.

She already did a nice job clogging my toilet and slipping onto the side of her head on the wet tiles. Yeah -- pass me the fertilizer, it's time to grow my scrotum. There's gonna be trees growing out of this motherfucker.

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Damn, you packed her shit tight dude!!

(But next time, make her purge before you go in there)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kuyuk

Damn, you packed her shit tight dude!!

(But next time, make her purge before you go in there)

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Thnx. But yeah, effing F this shit. No matter how good her panties smell; and how capable my Jew-nose is of taking in that extra odor, it's time seal my nostrils and brace myself for the impact velocity of the ass dive.

Psych; but yeah, I need to kick an intelligent, beautiful, good-hearted, kind, sexy, extremely wonderful bitch to the curb. I've got my pimp-hand on the whetstone, just give me the signal.

This signal?

http://www.californiacraneschool.com...and_signal.JPG

Or maybe you just need to use one of these.


http://www.eatliver.com/img/2008/3659.jpg

The Spocker will be upgraded from Leonard Nimoy to Borg status. I'm sending off proton torpedoes from the GTFO Enterprise.

Edit: Captain's log -- Keep you guys updated.

Probably the right decision. For your sake if anything. When she goes nuclear, it's best to avoid the blast radius.

Always remember.... Smart, Pretty, Sane. Pick two.

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Originally Posted by radamanthys

Always remember.... Smart, Pretty, Sane. Pick two.

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:lol:

wait.

:(

I'm not saying that perfectly nice people don't wind up involved with drugs, go through rehabilitation, and become perfectly nice people again, but. From what personal life experience I have in the matter:

My wife's aunt married a guy she met in rehab (heroin), they relapsed constantly and ended up with Hep C from sharing needles, she died almost two years ago at the age of 46. My mother-in-law dated a guy she used to shoot up with for years and years, and remained on a cocktail of prescription anti-anxiety meds, anti-depressants, and painkillers that he pressured her to convince various doctors she needed until she died right after New Years' 2009 of acute fentanyl intoxication at the age of 51.

My father-in-law, who was also a former heroin addict who contracted Hep C at a younger age, married a woman who had nothing to do with his addiction days, and ended up never touching the stuff again en route to a very successful and lucrative career in animation and design. He was one of the most genuinely happy and fulfilled people I ever knew before he was unfortunately taken from us in 2006 at the age of 44.

The general rule of thumb, from what I've been told and observed, is once you quit it, quit the whole scene. Don't talk to the people you knew, don't read your old diaries, don't hang out at your old stomping grounds, don't slam a bottle of vodka and blow trees with a chick who got booted from her halfway house, don't slam a bottle of vodka and blow trees with the guy who's letting you crash on his couch since you got kicked out of your halfway house, etc. All the better for protecting you from yourself, and certainly keeps you out of some seriously compromising situations.

BUT! It is so cool to get getting play play-by-play from a stoned drunk guy on an internet forum. The topic of this thread is fail, but the thread itself is win.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Xanator

I'm not saying that perfectly nice people don't wind up involved with drugs, go through rehabilitation, and become perfectly nice people again, but. From what personal life experience I have in the matter:

My wife's aunt married a guy she met in rehab (heroin), they relapsed constantly and ended up with Hep C from sharing needles, she died almost two years ago at the age of 46. My mother-in-law dated a guy she used to shoot up with for years and years, and remained on a cocktail of prescription anti-anxiety meds, anti-depressants, and painkillers that he pressured her to convince various doctors she needed until she died right after New Years' 2009 of acute fentanyl intoxication at the age of 51.

My father-in-law, who was also a former heroin addict who contracted Hep C at a younger age, married a woman who had nothing to do with his addiction days, and ended up never touching the stuff again en route to a very successful and lucrative career in animation and design. He was one of the most genuinely happy and fulfilled people I ever knew before he was unfortunately taken from us in 2006 at the age of 44.

The general rule of thumb, from what I've been told and observed, is once you quit it, quit the whole scene. Don't talk to the people you knew, don't read your old diaries, don't hang out at your old stomping grounds, don't slam a bottle of vodka and blow trees with a chick who got booted from her halfway house, don't slam a bottle of vodka and blow trees with the guy who's letting you crash on his couch since you got kicked out of your halfway house, etc. All the better for protecting you from yourself, and certainly keeps you out of some seriously compromising situations.

BUT! It is so cool to get getting play play-by-play from a stoned drunk guy on an internet forum. The topic of this thread is fail, but the thread itself is win.

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Definitely. It could've been better, but it could've been worse.

Yeah, life's a roller-coaster, but now that my brain is addled with much less THC, it is time to downgrade Space Mountain into the teacup ride.

EDIT: ...For now, anyway.

I think it all probably would've ended up better minus the vodka.

I told her I'd let her stay another three days if she made less than 0-sexual advances on me (at this point, it's fucking annoying and sad) and didn't bitch about the liquor store.

You know, this experience has left me with a keen knowledge that if an individual happens to have caller ID -- And doesn't know who the fuck it is that's calling them, because you deleted that # a while ago, for a damn good reason: Just let that shit ring.

In summation, everyone should have caller ID to make the world a safer place; for our children, and for our children's children. And for the sake of the future as we will know it.

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

In summation, everyone should have caller ID to make the world a safer place; for our children, and for our children's children. For the sake of the future.

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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

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Originally Posted by pabstblueribbon

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

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That. Is an excellent point.

So yeah, I woke up around four days ago and, today, I was talking to her -- And after telling her she needs to leave, she mentions that she got a ride out of the house because "she couldn't wake me up" and decided to head eight cities away, where she is currently located ...

..But her laundry of manic holy-wtf-cannot-stop-buying-shit 500lb. briefcases of any and all of her clothing are still here..

I very politely explained to her that I didn't really have the desire, for some reason, to drive my Chevy into several baby carriages, trees ... and what should be bright neon traffic cones I will probably be envisioning from the mindfuckery that has occurred. She was nice about it and said, "Sorry I couldn't hear you -- Is it okay if you speed down I-95 at around, you know, 350MPH so that you deliver my schizophrenic amount of shit I left at your house? Thanks, honey -- I need you there in about 3 minutes because I'm headed to. A. Party."

I think something about my response to the aforementioned was convincing enough that she'll be returning later to retrieve her personal belongings.

Now, once this shit is finally settled, what is the coolest, most awesome way to use the most dangerous of explosive devices in order to detonate my cell phone ... I want a mushroom cloud and ≈ a 50-mile blast radius of radioactive Verizon telephone, legally?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stanley Burrell

So yeah, I woke up around four days ago and, today, I was talking to her -- And after telling her she needs to leave, she mentions that she got a ride out of the house because "she couldn't wake me up" and decided to head eight cities away, where she is currently located ...

..But her laundry of manic holy-wtf-cannot-stop-buying-shit 500lb. briefcases of any and all of her clothing are still here..

I very politely explained to her that I didn't really have the desire, for some reason, to drive my Chevy into several baby carriages, trees ... and what should be bright neon traffic cones I will probably be envisioning from the mindfuckery that has occurred. She was nice about it and said, "Sorry I couldn't hear you -- Is it okay if you speed down I-95 at around, you know, 350MPH so that you deliver my schizophrenic amount of shit I left at your house? Thanks, honey -- I need you there in about 3 minutes because I'm headed to. A. Party."

I think something about my response to the aforementioned was convincing enough that she'll be returning later to retrieve her personal belongings.

Now, once this shit is finally settled, what is the coolest, most awesome way to use the most dangerous of explosive devices in order to detonate my cell phone ... I want a mushroom cloud and ≈ a 50-mile blast radius of radioactive Verizon telephone, legally?

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Shoulda just fapped on her face and then sent her on her way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Methais

Shoulda just fapped on her face and then sent her on her way.

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She was eager for a face-fapping. In her eyes. Ejaculated from gigantic robot cock lasers.

You could even do the ever-famous Methais' "double-inverted, nosebone-Indy-nosebone Goatse-2girls1cup-ratemysyphilisinfectedscrotum.com," with a twist of Lemonparty, on this particular woman ... and it wouldn't be enough to punish the kind of stupidity she is possessed by right now.

you should post her picture

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jayvn

you should post her picture

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I got a really nice close-up:



http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/4589/women.png

.

You can see a small portion of her left toe under either purse #5 or #5000. I forgot.

But what about her boobs and vagina?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Methais

But what about her boobs and vagina?

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I don't know what cameras are in the right situations :(