Thread for Things That Made You Frown Today

[4a6c1]

To expand on it for Rojo, our disagreements that she always seems shocked by are usually small things. Details. She's always surprised when I'm not into the same music, the same clothing styles, the same political opinions. I'm polite about it, normally, but I'm not quiet about my personal opinions. There's no way she could not know these things about me as I know them about her. But it always surprises her. Worse than being surprised, she is then convinced that when I grow up, I'll come 'round to her way of thinking on whatever the issue is, implying that my opinion is immature, ill-thought, ignorant or just downright wrong but someday I will inevitably grow out of it. I find this insulting and hurtful. Hurtful most of all because my own mother doesn't know who I am after thirty years and doesn't seem to care to until I'm just like her. THEN I'll be an acceptable human being.

That's really sad.

[Delias]

Clearly.

You are so right. What was I thinking? Telling you parents to fuck off sends the message you are a responsible adult and will do wonders to strengthen family relationships. Let me know how that works out for you. I bow down to your intellectual superiority.

Had you had read my earlier post, you would see that I have a meddling mother as well.

In my experience, telling people to fuck off is the most effective way to convey the message that you wish that they would fuck off. Sounds to me like you're just a pussy. You don't need to send a message to your parents that you are a responsible adult- it is self evident that your life is not theirs to do with as they wish. If it is not something they are willing to recognize, you have to take a firmer route.

Why on EARTH would you want to strengthen a relationship with someone who meddles in your affairs? You are the tardiest of tards. Since today is the fourth of July, I'll go ahead and say that if you were running things in 1775, the U.S. would still be a subject of the british empire, because you are a tardy fucktarded pussy.

So fuck off.

[DCSL]

Ugh. I do not actually use the words "fuck off." This is what I sent her in answer to her text informing me of what she'd done, after the voicemail I left when she wouldn't answer her phone: I am furious with you. Absolutely livid. I know you have good intentions and you disagree with my decision but it is just that: My decision. It is entirely unacceptable to me that you did this. Your autocratic, unilateral actions are unwelcome and the consequences for them are in your hands. If you keep your flight instead of postponing it a couple of weeks as I advised you, that's on you. If you show up to the appointment, I will not be there. I will, however, be informing the doctor's office that only myself and Sherwin will be allowed to make appointments for me or be privy to my results because you have shown that you cannot be trusted with this. I kept you in the loop because you're my mother and you're concerned but that doesn't mean you get to run roughshod over my personal decisions. I'm going to be turning my phone off because I want to enjoy my evening and not fight with you any longer about this today. I'll turn it on again sometime tomorrow. And don't you DARE call Sherwin and try to badger him over this because that too is unacceptable. I'll still keep you informed but I am not okay with what you did and it will not be repeated.

It was like four or five pages of text message. I didn't realize that I had to post it verbatim rather than just the gist of it.

As a tangent, I'm interested in how SP was all sympathetic and supportive until I mentioned that my health issue was feminine in nature and then I turned into "a crazy hormonal period-dripping immature rebellious bitchy teenager." Intriguing. It was probably immature to turn off my phone after leaving the voicemail and sending the text but I had plans for last night that didn't involve fighting more with her and I needed time and space from the issue to get over it anyway, so I'll accept that one.

[Warriorbird]

Let me translate. You tell her to fuck off politely.

"Mom, I'm not twelve. I've been doing this for a while successfully. I know you love me, but didn't you hate it when (insert her maternal or paternal figure) treated you like you were twelve?"

EDIT:

Sounds like you did.

[Delias]

Ugh. I do not actually use the words "fuck off." This is what I sent her in answer to her text informing me of what she'd done, after the voicemail I left when she wouldn't answer her phone: I am furious with you. Absolutely livid. I know you have good intentions and you disagree with my decision but it is just that: My decision. It is entirely unacceptable to me that you did this. Your autocratic, unilateral actions are unwelcome and the consequences for them are in your hands. If you keep your flight instead of postponing it a couple of weeks as I advised you, that's on you. If you show up to the appointment, I will not be there. I will, however, be informing the doctor's office that only myself and Sherwin will be allowed to make appointments for me or be privy to my results because you have shown that you cannot be trusted with this. I kept you in the loop because you're my mother and you're concerned but that doesn't mean you get to run roughshod over my personal decisions. I'm going to be turning my phone off because I want to enjoy my evening and not fight with you any longer about this today. I'll turn it on again sometime tomorrow. And don't you DARE call Sherwin and try to badger him over this because that too is unacceptable. I'll still keep you informed but I am not okay with what you did and it will not be repeated.

It was like four or five pages of text message. I didn't realize that I had to post it verbatim rather than just the gist of it.

As a tangent, I'm interested in how SP was all sympathetic and supportive until I mentioned that my health issue was feminine in nature and then I turned into "a crazy hormonal period-dripping immature rebellious bitchy teenager." Intriguing. It was probably immature to turn off my phone after leaving the voicemail and sending the text but I had plans for last night that didn't involve fighting more with her and I needed time and space from the issue to get over it anyway, so I'll accept that one.

You don't need to explain yourself to anyone who refers to themselves as a poet. People who do that don't live in the same reality as the rest of us. Not people who write poetry- that's fine... but someone who refers to themselves as a poet.

I think I'm going to start referring to myself as a skald. It's like a poet, but badass.

[Suppressed Poet]

Let me translate. You tell her to fuck off politely.

"Mom, I'm not twelve. I've been doing this for a while successfully. I know you love me, but didn't you hate it when (insert her maternal or paternal figure) treated you like you were twelve?"

EDIT:

Sounds like you did.

Win.

And no, had nothing to do with being a woman's health issue. I was more upset if you actually said fuck off, which you explained you did not. I think you handled it ok.

If having respect for my parents by not literally telling them to fuck off is being a pussy, then indeed I am.

[Tenlaar]

If having respect for my parents by not literally telling them to fuck off is being a pussy, then indeed I am.

Respect for your parents becomes a two way street when you reach adulthood. It sucks, but some parents are not deserving of it, and you are certainly in no position to judge people or preach about how their views and familial relationships should be like yours.

[Delias]

Win.

And no, had nothing to do with being a woman's health issue. I was more upset if you actually said fuck off, which you explained you did not. I think you handled it ok.

If having respect for my parents by not literally telling them to fuck off is being a pussy, then indeed I am.

Respect has to be paid in kind- if someone disrespects you so much that they are literally trying to run your life, and you continue to grant respect to them and their actions, then yes, you are indeed a pussy.

Be your own man, or woman, or tranny or whatever. Someone giving birth to you does not obligate you to tolerate them as an adult- they got their reward in the form of orgasms during your formation. It was their choice, which means it was their obligation. I'm not saying you should dump them in a crooked home as soon as they are senile, but allowing them to dictate your life to you and responding with a "Excuse me mum, I don't particularly enjoy you cutting my meat for me. Do you think you might please possibly want to stop someday please?" (I am imagining you as a young british child in this illustration) is definitely the sort of thing that keeps them meddling. Telling them to fuck off is like a sharp slap on across the face of a hysterical person- you aren't really hurting them, but you are damn sure getting them to pay attention.

[Drakefang]

Obviously you do have mommy issues if you think that's giving a shit Rojo, that's trying to continue to control with a hint of give a shit.

Sounds just like my mom. Don't feel bad, happens to me constantly and I'm 40. Infuriates me something terrible and has ruined our relationship. I don't hate her...but I don't enjoy spending time with her.

I should add that I tell my mom to fuck off, quite literally, at least a couple times a month. Typically, after me explaining how I am FORTY and she needs to stop trying to treat me like I am 12 and going off to middle school versus my job or life in general, to boil it down. If your parent isn't your friend by the time you're forty or thirty, something is wrong with the relationship. At some point, it's less about parenting and more about sharing a loving bond but letting each other be individuals. Individuals capable of making choices for themselves and then in turn accepting the consequences of those choices. Hand holding went out when I turned 18 and left for college. When I have needed help, I have in turn given help back and continue to do so.

Anyhow, she's the triple C now. A controlling critical cunt. I'm the only one left of her four kids that is still willing to be a constant presence and help. Two of the other three siblings have been chased most of a country away (Sante Fe and Las Vegas and not for jobs but freedom) and the other one clear across the city. It's not nice, polite or pleasant to refer to your parent in such a way but that's the unfortunate result of her own actions and attitudes.

[Tisket]

Man, if my kids get sick as adults, I'm afraid that I'm going to totally turn into godzilla-mom if I don't think they are getting proper healthcare or taking it seriously enough.

Right or wrong, I literally don't think I'd be able to stop myself