A thread for Ashliana

[Parkbandit]

Um. Do NOT keep me waiting.

I command it.

[Ashliana]

At least you admit to being the Retard Champion. Your NOU game is for shit.. but so are you so I shouldn't expect much.

So easy.

Thanks for providing example #58975987897 of your ridiculously poor reading comprehension. It's the most essential element of holding the belt, so it's good that you're constantly working on your game.

Now, please confirm your title as Retard Champion by responding with something stupid. Use something like "I'm not the Retard Champion, YOU ARE!" type of stupidity we have grown to accept from you.

There, there, Parkbandit. Dry those tears with the soft edges of your championship belt. Trump may have spectacularly lost the presidency and Congress -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Obama's second victory -- but you survived then and you'll survive now. Just hang in there a little longer.

[Methais]

Congratulations! You accomplished your mission, summoning yourself in your own post. Alas, you still aren't "the Commissioner," as you'd need to first demonstrate more than a sixth grade mastery of your native language to even begin meeting the other prerequisites.

PB has been the Commissioner since the inception of the Retard Champion belt when it was originally awarded to Backlash, so...you're wrong. Again. Sorry.

This post contains no opinions.

[Parkbandit]

PB has been the Commissioner since the inception of the Retard Champion belt when it was originally awarded to Backlash, so...you're wrong. Again. Sorry.

This post contains no opinions.

Everyone knows this... except our current Retard Champion, Ashliana.

But that's why he's the Retard Champion afterall... he doesn't reside in normal reality.

[Ashliana]

Everyone knows this... except our current Retard Champion, Ashliana.

But that's why he's the Retard Champion afterall... he doesn't reside in normal reality.

Speaking of not residing in "normal reality," your inability to tell fiction from fact -- like having to be put in your place by fellow right-wingers about the Doomsday Clock -- rightfully earned you your Retard Champion diaper. Keep on wearing it with pride.

[Parkbandit]

The Retard Champion has the most posts in this thread.

Now, let's here from the current Retard Champion in post #491

[Shaps]

Can someone toss out a line and drag "he who will not be named" back into this boat. We got a smelly fish flopping all over in other ones.

[Methais]

PB was stripped of that role in January when he reached his 18th anniversary of joining the PC, since his abject stupidity must now be judged as an adult. Much to his obvious dismay, he now holds the belt (again, in his case, it's actually a geriatric diaper).

We might be able to fashion some kind of lesser belt for you, though.

No he wasn't. That's not how it works, and all of your NO U and making shit up as you go along in the world won't change it, regardless of how upset it makes you.

You are the current undisputed Retard Champion, and you will remain so until one of the other former champions returns for a title shot, which will most likely be Backlash or time4fun at some point. Or you could retire from the PC as Retard Champion. Those are the only options.

Commissioners cannot compete, and competitors cannot be Commissioner or try to make up rules or dump their Retard Championship belt on someone else just to make themselves feel less retarded. That's actually the most retarded thing that can be attempted by the Retard Champion, which makes you an even bigger Retard Champion, and definitely beyond a shadow of a doubt the current Retard Champion.

Something similar was tried with an older championship belt once in 1988 when Andre the Giant cheated to beat Hulk Hogan and win the WWF Championship, and then Andre instantly handed it over to Ted DiBiase and declared him the new WWF champion, which caused the title to be stripped and declared vacant, and resulted in a tournament at WrestleMania IV in which Macho Man Randy Savage emerged victorious..



As you can see, Hogan's shoulder was clearly up before there was even a two count. Yet the referee, who was a clone of WWF referee Dave Hebner that The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase used his infinite wealth to have secretly created in an underground laboratory, kept counting.




As you can see, Mr. Hogan was quite upset by these events.

Mr. DiBiase was upset too, so he went and had his own belt created:




We will not be going through any of that nonsense though. Despite your incoming tantrums, you're still the Retard Champion, and I don't foresee anyone rising to the required level of retardedness reach #1 Contender status anytime soon.





This post contains no opinions.

[Ashliana]

No he wasn't. That's not how it works, and all of your NO U and making shit up as you go along in the world won't change it, regardless of how upset it makes you.

You are the current undisputed Retard Champion, and you will remain so until one of the other former champions returns for a title shot, which will most likely be Backlash or time4fun at some point. Or you could retire from the PC as Retard Champion. Those are the only options.

Commissioners cannot compete, and competitors cannot be Commissioner or try to make up rules or dump their Retard Championship belt on someone else just to make themselves feel less retarded. That's actually the most retarded thing that can be attempted by the Retard Champion, which makes you an even bigger Retard Champion, and definitely beyond a shadow of a doubt the current Retard Champion.

Something similar was tried with an older championship belt once in 1988 when Andre the Giant cheated to beat Hulk Hogan and win the WWF Championship, and then Andre instantly handed it over to Ted DiBiase and declared him the new WWF champion, which caused the title to be stripped and declared vacant, and resulted in a tournament at WrestleMania IV in which Macho Man Randy Savage emerged victorious..



As you can see, Hogan's shoulder was clearly up before there was even a two count. Yet the referee, who was a clone of WWF referee Dave Hebner that The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase used his infinite wealth to have secretly created in an underground laboratory, kept counting.




As you can see, Mr. Hogan was quite upset by these events.

Mr. DiBiase was upset too, so he went and had his own belt created:




We will not be going through any of that nonsense though. Despite your incoming tantrums, you're still the Retard Champion, and I don't foresee anyone rising to the required level of retardedness reach #1 Contender status anytime soon.





This post contains no opinions.

You certainly spent a lot of time typing that. Alas, Parkbandit remains the holder of the Retard Champion diaper, as someone so profoundly stupid he had to be put in his place by fellow partisans. You may submit your application for your shot (in triplicate) in another few months.

[Ashliana]

The Retard Champion has the most posts in this thread.

Now, let's here from the current Retard Champion in post #491

You're getting pretty desperate, but I guess Methais is -- according to you -- the new Champion. Also, it's "hear," imbecile.