>look at psycho
You see Hello, I'm a Psycho Fucker the Mental Ward Escapee.
He appears to be a Dwarf.
He is short and appears to be very young. He has silver-flecked black eyes and waxy sallow skin. He has singed and smoking, crispy burnt black hair spiking out in all directions as crackles of electricity spark along the strands. He has a bent iron hook for a hand.
He is in good shape.
He is holding a razor sharp black urglaes axe in his right hand and a shifting ethereal crescent axe in his left hand.
He is wearing a pair of nightvision goggles, a nightmare black straight jacket that is ripped and covered in dried blood stains, an epic bag of fail, a crystal ring, a supple crimson satchel, a pair of black mithglin gauntlets swirled with blue streaks, a gold ring-set black leather pouch, a pair of ROFL lollerskates, a gold-framed monocle on a thin-silver chain, a lapis lazuli studded gold ring, a Warrior Guild Master pin, a mini black hole that seems to shift in and out of existance, a glowing space metal neckchain fitted with tiny pieces of kryptonite, a woven kevlar axe harness, and some sinister black urglaes battle plate covered with strange glowing symbols.
Your sentient potato boasts, "My dad slayed Master at Arms Gaetan once!"