I don't want the world; I just want your half.
Discord BigNasty#8519
That sounds pretty similar to my one and only experience with any drug stronger than weed. My at-the-time boyfriend and roommate talked me into trying ecstasy. I spent the entire night lying in bed alone, wide awake, but with no desire whatsoever to get up. On the rare occasion that a coherent thought made it through the fog that was my mind, it ran something along the lines of, "How long does this crap last? I want my brain back." It was a party at our apartment. Soon after it kicked in, I realized that if someone got hurt or anything went wrong, I was just way too much of a drooling idiot to do anything about it. Someone could bleed to death at my feet and I'd probably just stare at them with a vague feeling that something's wrong. It scared the shit out of me. I've never tried any hard drug again, and have absolutely no desire to. Even weed stopped being fun. Since then, the only mind-altering substance I've cared for is alcohol. Even when I'm retarded drunk, I at least feel like I can think in a reasonably straight line. Losing all control of my mental faculties was just not cool.
I miss it, a lot. I spoke about that last trip from an outsider's perspective, how I can now see how it might not have been a highlight to them, but yeah. I had many, many good trips. Haven't had a drink in a year, couldn't care less. Haven't had any drugs in 13 years, miss it every day.
Not gonna lie, if I still lived in Buffalo and knew the people I knew back then, I'd probably be a complete mess (in a different way than I currently am). Part of the reason I would never live there again.
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R.I.P. Sparkle Motion