Selective hearing

[Savanae]

Can someone please explain to me why people seem to have selective hearing?

I have a Character that can not be in a relationship because of a painstakingly detailed past that she is in the process of coming to terms with.

Personality wise she is kind courteous and puts the feelings of others above her own. When she thinks that someone may be growing attached or interested in pursuing a relationship with her she will pull them aside and very bluntly explain to them that this is not something she is looking for nor interested in.

Then skip ahead about three weeks and the guy is on his knees proposing. When he doesn't get the answer he wants there are hurt feelings and anger and people running into hunting areas with out the benefit of shields and armor.

*Sigh*

Why do I always come out as the bad guy when I warn people well before hand? Do people just not listen or simply block out what doesn't fit into their plans?

[Edited on 5-10-2003 by Savanae]

[Edited on 5-10-2003 by Savanae]

[CrystalTears]

Yep. Selective hearing. I've been there and when they don't hear what they were expecting, they either foam at the mouth or pretend it was never said.

Try to be proactive and warn in advance that it won't happen, and for some reason they think it's a "challenge" and will be the one to change you and break you of that decision, as though they're the Marco Polo of relationships. Ugh, get over yourself.

So I feel for you. I really do. It's why I don't get into relationships in games anymore. Real ones are hard enough, I don't need to do mock ones too.

[Warriorbird]

It can be amusing. When my character, who's pretty fed up with relationships, lets people know, in an in character way, that he's really only interested in quality time with tavern girls, I sometimes get an answer of, "I can pretend to be a tavern girl if you want!"

[AnticorRifling]

I think it's the challenge thing. I've been chased a few times by female casters that are giants. They see a giantman wizard and they are all over it but I'm not the relationship type in GS so well sometimes it gets ugly but life goes on.

[Parkbandit]

I always knew men like me were animals.. but didn't realize how bad it was until I tried to roleplay a girl thief.

My god.. I was hounded so badly I had to give her up.

I pity women sometimes.

[Warriorbird]

Not giving that sort of thing the dignity of a response generally works pretty well. For the rare REAL idiot, you can get friends or GMS to help (if its severe).

And remember that lots of people will take you not saying no as a yes to a relationship.

[Savanae]

I would Like to take a moment to thank all of you who replied. I am sorry I have not been around to post this sooner but my life (in game and out) has taken another hectic turn.

For those of you that have had similar difficulties how did you handle it when things turned ugly? That seems to be where my R/P skills seems to be lacking. I tend to have knee jerk reactions of anger or depression when I feel thatI have done something wrong or people try to guilt me into things.

I can say that other than feelings being hurt on both sides and the loss of a good friendship, It has never gotten so out of hand that I have had to seek GM help.

This was not the first time or probobly the last time my rogue has found herself in this situation. Makes me kind of glad that mostof my "others" are virtual unknowns in the gs comunity.

My thanks again for the many responces.

[Savanae]

Text Black

Wow...Thats all I can say. You really hit the nail on the head there.

I can say that I have found a way to solve the problem if only temporarily. (though I hope it works for a long long time)

My girl has a good friend whom has a similar problem with being chased and also does not want any comitments so we just decided to stick together and let people think we are in some hot and heavy romance.

So far so good. Best thing is we like spending time together hunting and talking having a blast with no worries about someone being all needy and clingy around us. So everything on that front seems to be working for the time being.

Thanks again to everyone!!

Savanae

P.S.
*(unless you want someone clinging to you like a piece of saran wrap on a hot day). *

That just put a picture in my head that I so did not want there!!! (Giggle)

[Captain Amby]

heh the best way to keep men off of you is to RP really repulsive women for the most part.. or insane ones. Amby has a beard n' thinks she's a Lord from time to time. And Pattie's a kobold that stinks and loves to eat oily decaying fish and moldy foods. I *rarely* get bothered 'cause of it ::cackles::

Woah.

- --[ Klaive ]-- -