Over of the course of more than a decade, you spent untold hours of your life leaving other men furious, sexualized messages anonymously on the Internet. You can sit here pretending that all you said to people was "fag," except your mentally ill screeds are a matter of public record.
You can claim that someone calling you old -- 1/1,000th as many times as you impotently raged -- somehow rationalizes your behavior, again, ignoring the fact that you obsessively cycled your rep, leaving as many messages per day as the system would allow, to let you continue to spew your fantasies at people. People who hadn't posted in months.
You desperately need psychiatric care.