You shut your face.
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I had to pay for wifi. I feel like I was sodomized by Laguardia.
Work called me just as I was laying down to sleep to ask if I would work a 2nd shift. (Of course I say yes, it's OT.) Had to park in the farthest back corner of the parking lot. After work, my car was covered in bird shit.
:birdshit:
The bill changer at the car wash on the way home ate my dollar. I went to a different car wash. Now I try to get a 4 hour nap and do it all again.
Nose hairs.
I turned 30 Saturday, now I have nose hairs.
What the fuck?
Waking up at too-early-o'clock because my gastrointestinal fuck-shit-son-of-a-bitch motherfucker-ing excuse of digestive system can't handle a few cartons of shrimp and lobster sauce. Red China has won. Joke's on them since the porcelain was made in China.