Thread for Things That Made You Frown Today

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Originally Posted by pabstblueribbon

Fear, respect and love.

If you make a threat, always go through with it, and make it unpleasant as much as it pains you.

This sounds cold hearted but, kids know how far they can push and will push right up until they think they are getting in trouble. Just don't bend, whatsoever.

I never got spankings from my Father. He absolutely terrified me. He never yelled, but he was very stern. The fear of not knowing what he would do was the best deterant.

On the other hand, my mother spanked the shit out of me (they were divorced). I would misbehave and push the limit every time, because I knew she threatened punishment in exasperation and usually if I would act good for a moment, her anger would subside (sometimes I went over the limit and got the belt, though.), and I could start the whole process anew.

Mileage may vary, I suppose.

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Pretty much this.

I love the count down method as well. You'd better move before I hit 1 and if you're not (doing whatever it is they are supposed to be doing) you're standing in the corner. Then it's 10, 9, 7, 4, 2, 1. Sometimes I just say I'm going to count down to "now". They've learned that waiting to move is bad and there's no reason I should ever have to repeat an instruction.

On the opposite side they call guys sir and ladies ma'am because they see/hear me do it. I often call them sir or gentlemen and they understand that's just how you're supposed to talk to people.

Kids are no different than troops, lead by example not by fear. Earn the respect by showing their trust is properly placed, don't demand it without follow thru.

I am NOT afraid to spank my kids. My daughter knows this. And I will go up in front of ANY judge in the good old US of A and tell them why.

Fucking hippy dippy child-rearing is why we have generations of entitled brats running around now. My daughter knows I will put my foot squarely up her ass.

Kids who will ignore/goof off during/enjoy "talking to" sessions like Anticor staring at his kid in the garage are those who don't respect their parents to begin with. Sometimes it's just the kid, but that's pretty rare, IMO. Far more often than not it seems to be parents who don't follow through, who aren't consistent with discipline, who cave in and give the kid their way, etc. Parents who buy into the "every childhood problem can be solved with sweet words and friendly talks" school of thought fall into this category too. The children may love their parents to death, but if Mommy and Daddy are pushovers, the respect necessary for proper discipline won't be there. You don't want your kid to fear you, but you want them to know that you can and will do things they certainly do not like if they misbehave, and that whether or not said things happen is 100% tied to the child's actions.

When I was a kid, my mother had a 4-step process for when I did stuff wrong. The first time, there was no anger whatsoever. She'd sit me down and explain, in a normal, conversational fashion, what I did and why it was bad. The second time I got the explanation again, but she was pissed. The third time I got yelling and threats, and if I did it again, said threats were carried out. I learned not to push Mommy - when she said something, she meant it.

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Originally Posted by diethx

I think that's kind of awesome, but it makes me laugh to realize that with a lot of kids that would NOT work. My sister-in-law's three year old boy is a hellion. He screams, he yells, he does NOT listen. If my sister tells him not to scream, he'll get up and scream right IN HER FACE. It's pretty amazing to see, and I don't know where the bad behavior comes from because they've never been a house to let kids get away with shit. My mother-in-law lives there too, and both she and my sister are all about spanking if it's warranted.

Justin tells me stories about how when he was a kid and was bad, he'd have to go into the backyard and pick his own switch to get spanked with. He once made the mistake of picking the smallest he could find. Once. lol

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I could fix them, it's the parents not the kids. If they're only 3 or 4 it's still early enough to correct.

It's also important to have an understanding talk after a punishment. Make sure they really understand the why of the action and reaction.

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Originally Posted by AnticorRifling

I could fix them, it's the parents not the kids. If they're only 3 or 4 it's still early enough to correct.

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This. I used to babysit a couple girls who never learned to respect their parents. The father came home from work one night and the older girl (4 years old) asked for a popsicle. He said no, wait until after dinner. She immediately dropped to the floor in a screaming fit, and he started walking toward the fridge. I wasn't even thinking - I looked at her and said, "Ashley, get up. Your father said no." She shut up, stood up, and walked off to watch TV until dinner.

He just stared at me, and I kinda felt like a dick for making him feel bad in front of his kid. Not too much though, since it was his fault. He gave in to fits, I didn't. The first time she threw a screaming fit with me I picked her up, carried her to her bedroom and placed her on the bed, said, "come out when you're done and we'll talk" and shut the door on my way out. The look on her face was priceless.

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Originally Posted by AnticorRifling

It's also important to have an understanding talk after a punishment. Make sure they really understand the why of the action and reaction.

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Anticor = Supernanny??

Reported.

Speaking of hillbillies...

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/1...-tink-tank.gif

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Originally Posted by AnticorRifling

Blame the parents, not the kids. No follow thru is a great way to make a brat or shit bird out of your kid.

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Vote #2 for Supernanny Anticor! and yes... this is so true. You MUST be consistent and you MUST follow through on what you say.

I really like the 'talk' idea in the garage where they have to set their own consquence. I had to do that a few times as a kid and I always made it WAY worse than it needed to be for some reason. haha

Right now my kids are to young to really 'talk' about it, so my 3 year old just gets timeouts and the occasional spanking if she's just completely out of control. But afterward I always talk to her, tell her I love her and let her know that what she did is unacceptable. She has to apoligize to me and mom.

She's sooooo stubborn. I've had her sit on time out and refuse to follow very very simple directions for the better part of an hour, just because she doesn't want to... crazy child. If we weren't consistent with her... it would be a disaster.