Enlighten me then. I was under the assumption that cold turkey was quick and sudden.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
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Enlighten me then. I was under the assumption that cold turkey was quick and sudden.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
This. Quitting is not easy. Anything you do toward that goal is progress, even if it seems insignificant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
If you quit smoking "cold turkey", it's immediate. Yesterday you were a 2 pack a day smoker.. today you won't smoke a single one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
There's no 'cutting back' with cold turkey.
What he said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parkbandit
Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
Aren't you all pretty much agreeing?
I disagree. Going from 10-ish cigs a day to 0 is pretty fucking cold turkey to me.
No, because he started to smoke less before quitting, so he didn't quit at once.Quote:
Originally Posted by Drayal
When I'm not out at the pub I don't smoke. I often go 2+ weeks without a smoke. When I do go out I smoke like a professional though.
You are a joke, like ClydeR, only dumber.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
Dude you're like the absolute fucking worst person here for so many reasons, don't give me that shit.
"Cold turkey" means quitting without any smoking cessation aids, and has nothing to do with your process of "cutting back" or anything else. "Cutting back" doesn't exist. You either smoke or you don't.
Year 1: I smoke a pack a day, and I decide I want to quitQuote:
"Cold turkey" means quitting without any smoking cessation aids
Year 2: I smoke 9/10 of a pack a day
Year 3: I smoke 8/10 of a pack a day
Year 4: I smoke 7/10 of a pack a day
Year 5: I smoke 6/10 of a pack a day
Year 6: I smoke 5/10 of a pack a day
Year 7: I smoke 4/10 of a pack a day
Year 8: I smoke 3/10 of a pack a day
Year 9: I smoke 2/10 of a pack a day
Year 10: I smoke 1/10 of a pack a day
Year 11: I smoke 1 cigarette a day
Year 12: I smoke 1 cigarette every other day
Year 13: I smoke 1 cigarette every third day
Year 14: I smoke 1 cigarette every week
Year 15: I stop smoking
I've quit cold turkey?
you have aids, the diseaseQuote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
Going off the evidence you provided I would say this is an example of a slow and gradual decline over a period of 15 years. I took about 3 weeks to go from a full pack and slightly more to half a pack.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
3 weeks is 3 weeks longer than cold turkey.
A Dr told my buddy he could have died going cold turkey from the Diazepam he had been taking for years and years, telling him to ween himself off them by taking less and less each day instead.
Cold turkey means kicking it immediately with no exceptions.
And a delicious sandwich filling.
I understand that you're unfamiliar with the terminology. I smoked for 10 years and was probably actively "quitting" for at least 3. As a smoker you tend to smoke with lots of other people: at your job, at the bars, in fancy cars, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol
Here's a conversation that I've had at least 50 times:
Me: want to have a smoke?
Smoker: oh I didn't tell you? I quit!
Me: oh nice! (subtext: I hate you for doing what I cannot) What did you use?
Now Bob, I understand you're probably confused here, cause you're a virgin. When I say "what did you use?" I want to know what helped them quit. Was it Chantix? The patch? Fucking lasers? Hypnosis?
Smoker: nothing! I quit cold turkey.
Fin.
Smokers don't give a fuck if you "cut back" or went from a full pack to half a pack or did anything else. I don't care how long it took them to quit, just that they quit. Cutting back doesn't help you quit, it saves you money and (if we're being fanciful) let's you think maybe you're not killing yourself as fast. In every conversation I ever had with a smoker about quitting, no one ever said "I'm going to just keep cutting back and back and back until finally I'm done!" CAUSE YOUR BODY WANTS THAT FUCKING CRACK.
Is that like crossing the streams in Ghost Busters?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryvicke
"I'm gonna have a smoke break, you wanna smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are you, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself."
Photonic reversal will help you quit. BY ENDING YOUR LIFE.
This. Is in the right thread. You must share this technique.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
Going from a full pack to slightly more than a half a pack in 3 weeks is the direct opposite of going "cold turkey". Bob's 100% correct, which leaves you to be 100% incorrect.Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
"The sudden and complete withdrawal from an addictive substance and/or the physiological effects of such a withdrawal."
The utilities company for the apartment I live in has convenience fees if you pay online. Roffle. Guess I'm mailing a check!
Convenience Fees are added to Amount Paid
Pay Amount Convenience Fee
$0.00 - $50.99 $2.50
$51.00 - $100.99 $5.00
$101.00 - $200.99 $7.50
$201.00 - $300.99 $10.00
$301.00 + $20.00
I agree with Bob and PB. Cold turkey is not only about not using patches etc - it's about going from full tilt to nothing.
Did "going cold turkey" exist before patches/gum? It certainly did, cause my dad went cold turkey in the 80s.
I am a social smoker like Drayal. If I'm out, I might smoke half a pack in a day. And then go a month without a cigarette. I also used to smoke during finals.
Also, I love convenience fees. You're saving them the money of printing shit on paper, and paying someone to process it, but it's a good way to make money because people will pay it to not have to mail it.
A few years ago my electric company wanted 15 dollars to pay your bill online. In some cases this was a 15-30% of what my bill was.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuyuk
People be crazy.
You can still pay online, using your bank to pay the bill.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuyuk
That's such BS to charge for that.. then call it a convenience fee.
This certainly blew my mind today.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEschaton
This is how I pay just about every bill, even one-off bills to individuals (those via POP). And with a credit union it's all free. In fact, they actually give me a kick back if I use online banking, in the form of a 5+% interest rate on the first $500 in each of my accounts with them. With 2 accounts that works out to about $40 a year.Quote:
Originally Posted by Parkbandit
And yes, it is BS to try to charge you for something that saves them money. Dumb business practice if you ask me; pretty short sighted.
Ronnie James Dio blew my mind today. All week actually. I can't believe I was never into this band back in the day, but it's mostly good stuff. I can see why Sabbath picked him now.
Slam hand on handle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Archigeek
Push handle down.
Throw door open so it hits the wall
Slammed open.
Slam hand on handle
Pull handle
Create momentum so the door closes by itself
Let go
Slammed shut
duh
Learn to be a noisy college kid.
Technically, not the mind.
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/...balls-fail.gif
I was a cold turkey quitter. Smoked for many years and quit when I became pregnant with my daughter. I do not recommend it. I still want one pretty often. I think people who use gum or pills have it much easier. If I could do it again at a different time in my life, I would have used something. Maybe the gum.
My plan for quitting is to get to a point where I use the electronic cigarettes (I have them, but they're not working for whatever stupid reason. They won't charge) and then you can step the nicotine down using different cartridges, until you get to no nicotine. Then I'll work on breaking the hand to mouth movement, which is hard because I have serious oral/manual fixation issues.
Probably wont even try until I'm done with my program, it's driving me crazy lately :(
Gary Oldman played Mason Verger in Hannibal. Mind blown far, far away.
HeheheheheQuote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a64/lrenzo2/beavis.jpg
I thought it best to just let that one go.
:( C'mon guyyyyyyyys
For some reason.. an Image of Bender saying "I am bender please insert Girder" came to mind.. just in a different context.
I pay almost all my bills personally and professionally through online billpay. There is only one vendor I actually have to get into Quickbooks to cut a check for.Quote:
Originally Posted by Archigeek
StagedQuote:
Originally Posted by Rinualdo
Hobo with a Shotgun. Just...wow.
So basically he wont eat anywhere more than once. Ever.
And he'll eat a lot of things that aren't officially on the menu, like bodily fluids and such.Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
Talk about going out on a limb for someone....
http://now.msn.com/now/0225-no-hand-...ce-claims.aspx
OMG that vat19 is halarious! Gummy worm and the bear is craZy
... yeah. You get sucked in really easily.
lolololololQuote:
Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
Hey that IV isn't hooked up to her.
The "Your Peanut and You" poster is the best.
The story has been updated, apparently the receipt was 'altered and exaggerated.'Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SzZT...layer_embedded
Wonder if he was wearing his seatbelt.
...Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Rogue
Had to check it on my phone, the two top comments are pretty awesome.
Also if you haven't watched Action Figure Therapy you must do so. These videos are amazing.
How... how... how does one get to their junior year in college and write like this...
Based off what my group and I learn while working with the 3rd and 4th graders at (name) Elementary school was that majority of the (town) community population are extremely affected by the low graduation rates especially for minority students. This community faces a high lack of motivation within the students to want to continue their education. This can be cause by various reasons such as teen pregnancy, gang related, helping to support their families who are struggling financially, lack of motivation within oneself, and much more. However, students who attend schools in the (town) area are obviously highly uneducated on how importance of education is in regarding to become successful in life.
(I took out incriminating information!!!!)
I'm thinking someone was drunk or high doing homework.
No, she writes like that all the time.
... maybe she's drunk or high all the time. Is she russian?
Is she perhaps a Miss Teen USA contestant from South Carolina?
http://youtu.be/lj3iNxZ8Dww
No. She speaks/writes in ebonics.
Time to get out the red pen and go to town... and send her ro remedial English class.
You can't do that these days, it's racist.Quote:
Originally Posted by Archigeek
.Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
The most common mistake people would expect from that paragraph is effected instead of affects, but she nailed it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
I think she is just fucking with your mind.
This commercial.....so full of win :bigsmile:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nITLo...layer_embedded
ORLY?!Quote:
Originally Posted by Archigeek
http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepu...ight-life.html
Kepler 22b rocks.
I won a claw machine for the first time ever after Gnome Rage showed me the secret to winning.
Beating up the kid who just won it and stealing his prize?Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
No but that certainly sounds like a legit tactic to me!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgo01
I can teach anyone the secret of the claw game. I've only won 40+ times in the past 2 years. nbd.
no big deal
I need to know the secret. The bar down the street from me has an adult claw game full of porno and toys. My friend won a penis pump ... I've only managed to win a pair of sunglasses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
The secret can only be revealed in person.
Does that pick up line work often?Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
Every time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgo01
You wanna know the secret too, eh?
It's a pretty powerful secret, 6 more wins today, including bozo the clown and a pair of spiky vulvas.
That claw dipping pattern is just like slot machines: Punch through the object and steal poker chips, sunglasses and penis pumps.
It blew my mind that I said poker chips. Now I want to punch through something that contains poker chips. Maybe a penis pump.
This didn't really blow my mind, but it had me really confused.
Quote:
XXXXXXXX 10:06 pm
hey
WRossArtley 11:01 pm
hi
XXXXXXXXX 11:01 pm
I figured out what I was trying to remember
WRossArtley 11:01 pm
ok
XXXXXXXX 11:01 pm
lime hats
WRossArtley 11:01 pm
umm
what?
XXXXXXXX 11:02 pm
remember when every avatar on the PC had lime hats?
WRossArtley 11:02 pm
ok
yeah
XXXXXXXX 11:02 pm
that's what I was trying to figure out
what were they wearing
WRossArtley 11:02 pm
umm
we were talking earlier today?
XXXXXXXX 11:03 pm
nope!
I just IMed you to ask if you remembered
Haha Drew
I almost forgot about this. Yesterday, someone got me really good. I still have yet to figure out how they did it. I in an area with a ton of people in the 25-40 range. I know most everyone by face, but not by name. Anyways, yesterday as I was walking to the store, I see someone, and he comes up and says, "Hey Ross, nice to see you again. Have a nice day!" I thought it was a little strange but I thought that maybe I had met him before. The rest of the day, 9 people I know that I've never met walked up to me and said something similar to that. I really hope that was someones April Fool's joke or else I did something really fucked up to get everyone to know me.
They must have all seen your porno.
Guy who won the mega millions must look just like Ross.
32 ounce thick glass mug, frozen, filled to the brim with dos equis amber with a slice of lime on the rim. Paired with a torta cubana and the obligatory chips and salsa. Heaven.
If you've never had it and don't care to look it up, the torta cubana consists of ham, chorizo, chicken, steak, refried beans, avacado, jalapenos, queso, lettuce, and a fried egg. As if the cold dos equis wasn't already a joygasm. Omnomnomnom.
Woah.
I saw a member of the Outlaws motorcycle club come stumbling all bloody-faced out of the bathroom at my favorite bar tonite. He hit the floor, got up and hit the floor again, got up and ran out the door. According to the bartender, some rival gang member assaulted him in the bathroom and kicked him in the face. Wow. I knew they had their HQ in town but in 6 or 7 years of going to that the bar that's the first time I've seen one of em wearing the insignia. I think I need a new bar.
I saw Alton Brown at Publix today.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhaalizmo
BOOM
I'm very much jelly.Quote:
Originally Posted by diethx
In the Harry Potter series, soul eating dementors never go after Ron.
My wife got a letter from a parent (she is student teaching) because she marked her son's answer wrong on a test. It was worth one (1) point. A letter over 1 point... and, the answer was wrong.
What the fuck, parents? How ridiculous.
She should correct any grammar errors in the letter with a red pen and send it back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Delias
I just finished writing an SQL statement so big that I'm pretty sure it's going to end up being the jump off point for SkyNet.
THANKS A LOT WAYNE.
As long as you didn't program it to target brown people first, I welcome our robot overlords.
It goes by shade of brown (starting in the lighter shades), since you're a cinnamon bear you're safe for awhile as long as you don't yell VAMANOS!!Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEschaton
Coding a shader took many lines, you should thank me.
Man overstates the size of something belonging to him. We'll have more on this groundbreaking story later.Quote:
Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
Mind legitimately blown. In 2 minutes they determined they want bodies and believe in God.Quote:
Originally Posted by WRoss
It's only a hop, skip and a jump til they start the whole "Exterminate humanity to protect humanity" line of reasoning.
They figured out they were both robots in about 30 seconds. I love how she got all philosophical when talking about God.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEschaton
They started off so cordial, and then went to being dicks to each other pretty fast.
... they're getting more human like.
Fucking unicorns.
I was going to GIS "fucking unicorns" as a possible joke picture response to your post but I got scared.
Don't be scared!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tisket
http://www.obscureathon.com/wp-conte...UnicornGuy.jpg
Who could be scared, protected by those hooves.
That cleverbot shit was awesome.
EDIT: Cunniling in peace.
Ahahahaahahhahaa like.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rinualdo
People with graduate degrees and crappy jobs who spend their free time playing games instead of trying to improve their own lives. Cant lead a horse to water!
We've been doing some online research into our family history and I came across this photo on one of the genealogy websites. Vampirism is real:
http://i43.tinypic.com/2mdkq2o.jpg
Even the name is suspect: Alphonse
If that's not a name for a supernatural creature, I don't know what is.
Anne Rice type shit.
This video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PkgQQqpH2M
PC Scientists: How does this work?
My answer: Frame rate of camera combined with frequency of sound coming from speaker, but regardless... /mindblown
3:30AM. Gemstone starts BLARING music.
Startled the fuck out of me, after months of trying to get the music to play, it finally did out of the blue
Hah, nothing like unexpected loud midi music to set your nerves on edge.
You know you're hungover when you've been awake for 4 hours, had food, and a shower, and you still feel like you need to go back to sleep. A friend just txted from the beerfest that I was going to skip due to my hangover. Now I'm on my way down there. This'll end well.
Yep.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhaalizmo
Once I installed an first person shooter the day after a party, can't remember which game but I wore my new can headphones. I got out a sniper rifle and aimed it on some henchmans head and carefully, carrrrrrefully waited for the right time then squeezed the shoulder button...
And everything went white.
Someone had been using my cpu for music the night before and left all the sound settings on full, including the sound mixer.
I went blind from total shock for a few seconds and had ringing in my ears for the next 3 days.
Ouch that sounds like a fine hangover. Eat meat, drink coke.Quote:
You know you're hungover when you've been awake for 4 hours, had food, and a shower, and you still feel like you need to go back to sleep. A friend just txted from the beerfest that I was going to skip due to my hangover. Now I'm on my way down there.
Best of luck. Have a good one.Quote:
This'll end well
I was checking that out yesterday. Pretty cool.
Noriyaki was logged in game but signed off before I could talk to him :( Found out it is a he at least.
Name: Lord Noriyaki Suhji Illistim
Profession: Warrior
Title: Guard
Race: Elf Gender: Male
He is very tall and appears to be in his golden years.
He has piercing dark copper eyes and tanned skin.
He has shoulder length, mahogany hair touched here and there amidst the waves with cognac highlights.
He has an angular face and slightly upswept pointed ears.
Trust relationship between a 2000 and 2008 domain just vanishes from the 2008 server. Neato. No errors, no nothing, just poof.
Strange things are afoot at the circle K.
Ughh, went on my second interview today. Both places REALLY want me to intern there, this one was like "Ok what day can you start" blahblah. I have no idea which one to choose.
never thought I'd be in this situation. MIND BLOWN.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
Pretend this is exactly what you said that I just paraphrased. Do not be mind blowned in every and any job acquisition endevour.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
In summation, canned food.
Rammstein was fucking epic.
Jizz for everyone!
http://i45.tinypic.com/jrz149.jpg
Gross lol
I'm trying to figure out if my neighbor seeing me in bra and panties, not reacting, waving and then looking away again bothers me or not and why it should bother me if I want to be bothered about it.
I've been thinking about this too long.
I think subconsciously you are concerned about your physical appearance. I mean, why wouldn't a guy want a good look at you when you're wearing such things?
1. Either he expects this sort of behavior from you.
2. He is gay.
3. Your Darth Vader helmet scared him.
4. Pics!
There may have been no staring and such, but how do you know what went through his head? It could have been, "Oh shit she looks amazing, don't stare or you'll look creepy, don't stare, don't stare, damn it, readjust position on chair so my wife doesn't notice that I'm 'awake' in the middle of the afternoon, stop thinking about it, I wonder if she'd still be in the window if I turned around again..." and so on.Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
Now you can be bothered. You're welcome.
Probably time to upgrade the underoos.Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
Between Rojo & Liagala's post, it seems that we got a plot for a sitcom.
I think that we need to see a pic of you in your bra and panties so that we can properly help you in assessing the situation and determining, from a purely objective standpoint, the proper state of mind that you should adopt in this particular situation.Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
Did he have horns? Was he wearing a cowbell? Are you not in Texas?Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
Do the math, Robin (EHCDPD).
I told my friend Cat about this "stress rash" that I have had for like a week, and how health services isn't helpful. She was like "OH! Take a shower/bath in oatmeal and then wash with baking soda. Then put aloe on, you'll feel great" I was like yeahyeahyeahsuuure.
I did it.
FUCKING AMAZING.
I haven't felt itchless in a week and I'm like singing I'm so happy right now. I can FUNCTION without constantly scratching my arms and back. fucking awesome.
so happy
Weren't you pouring coke all over yourself a few days ago because a friend told you to do it?Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnome Rage
My friend poured coke on my head. I'm pretty adventurous with remedies. Coke didn't work for curls - but this fucking worked for itch so gtfo.
No. Yes. I'm in Vietnam having tea with Thich nhat hanh. At this very moment. I thought you like, knew that, dude.Quote:
Originally Posted by Latrinsorm
4srs tho. This poor dude was getting out of his work truck so he was prob. tired as fuck. Today he waved at me again in the same way, getting in the same truck. (ai make sonnet!!) I've concluded that I'm vain as vain gets and my boyfriend needs to come home and make me feel like a woman, preferably before tomorrow, my 30th birthday.
Living Buddha, Living Christ was a great book.
The war is over, Robin! The war against brassieres. Or the Man.Quote:
Originally Posted by RojoDisco
I don't know what day it is where you are, so...
P.S. You're a Taurus. I hate Tauruses. My mother was a Taurus.
hmm.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheEschaton
http://www.brightlightsfilm.com/28/2...cho_norman.jpg
??
Not enough brown.
http://www.blindloop.com/wp-content/...ial-killer.jpg
(Thug Behram)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-e4vu_wL-M
An invention that rivals the cotton gin:
http://www.chocedge.com/Choc+Creator+Version+1
The Arsenal Norwich game. I can't believe it!
So....I just got back from the casino. I was up a few blacks playing poker and some girl was all about me. She was following me like a puppy, but I kept telling her I wasn't interested. She was clearly after my stack. I'm sitting at the table and she's being very handsy. I eventually stepped away, went "to smoke" and told her to leave me alone. Shortly there after, the cops came and arrested her for oustanding warrants. Crazy shit....
Pretty sure you're not supposed to use those like currency anymore, what with that whole civil war thing and all.
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
hahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4...s1h3o1_400.jpg
Kids skull with all their baby teeth + adult teeth
That is so cool. Where is the rest of the kid????Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Nikkisaurus
There was some confusion when this was on reddit, yesterday I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Nikkisaurus
Obvious when you actually look at the skull, but if you raped and murdered a child with their baby teeth, decapitated the corpse, and then threw the head into a plastic bin ($12.93 Walmart http://www.walmart.com/ip/Sterilite-...Quart/19868993) containing beetles in order to clean the meat/blood/sinew off of the head, the baby teeth wouldn't be visible when you removed the skull for a few weeks later.
The jaw has been ground away to reveal them. This ruins the value.
Oh I assumed there was some alterations to open it up so you could actually see the teeth (I didn't read the thread, just opened it up and was like "Holy shit that is cool"). I don't think it really "ruins" it, disection is pretty awesome for seeing how the human body (or any body really) works. I am disappoint I didn't see something like this when I went to see Bodies.
Really? You mean if I push my finger against my jaw I wouldn't be able to wiggle around my teeth through my skin?Quote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
Go ahead and try to sell a ground up kid skull in this market.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Nikkisaurus
Did you happen to see the hand that was perfectly dissected?
EDIT: If you're squeamish, don't click. Beautiful dissection of a human hand: http://imgur.com/GJLXb
I mean that a child who still has their baby teeth "retains" their teeth in the lower jaw bone, which is sort of a spongy bone to put it very simply. In the case of this picture, the lower jaw of the subject has been ground away to reveal the yet to erupt adult teeth, dumbass.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tgo01
Oh okay. Thanks for educating me.Quote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
Um... does this very intimate and detailed description scare anyone else?:shocked:Quote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
Good point. Maybe you have pictures of what this looks like after you've raped and murdered children?Quote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
Darkwynde beat me to it.
We can so share it. I am afraid to be alone in here with him...Quote:
Originally Posted by Showal
Something like this:Quote:
Originally Posted by Showal
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...id_Beetles.jpg
Except the skull is smaller, in a Sterilite bin, and the lighting would be much poorer.
Woah, that is awesome. It makes me wonder what it would look like if it was vivisected and moving.Quote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
This is why I've considered mortuary science, but alas that would make me a single cat lady the rest of my life because who's going to bring a mortician home to meet mom (not really but close enough).
Something like this:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Nikkisaurus
http://i.imgur.com/dUeG3.gif
Do what you want to do. I've worked in that industry and most (MOST) people are really well-adjusted normal people with awesome senses of humor. And you'll never go out of business.
Why do I find something about that gif to be so hilarious? I think it's the long painted nails.
Dude--so part of my project is Mass Fatality Systems that are pretty much just all about how to process the dead during disasters and victim identification, etc. and all of the chicks involved in that specific project are by far the coolest I work with. I know a few of them were mortuary sciences... they're not gothy or anything, but that just might be because no one in nyc is gothy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mighty Nikkisaurus
Anyhow it's totally weird, I always look forward to going to meetings at the medical examiner's office/morgue even though it smells.
EDIT: started writing this before fat white duke said also that mortuary people ruled. I wonder why people that take care of the dead are pretty awesome.
I'm following some people on tumblr who do mortuary science and are either in school or working as embalmers, etc and their posts are some of the most interesting and hilarious I have ever read.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryvicke
I would imagine its the whole 'being comfortable with death in a society that really sterilizes and stigmatizes death' that turns out a certain crowd of people. If you're a high strung sort of person you're not going to last if every body coming through the door you're upsetting yourself over the hows and whys that they died (this applies even more so to people studying to become medical examiners). I did a cadaver lab for biology credit and the people who freaked out the worst had some very similar high-strung personality traits.
In order to properly dispose of a body, you are going to need a few things. First, a ton of baking soda. The smell is going to be horrible, so you don't want it getting to the streets. You'll need to cover all your vents in plastic wrap. You can just put up a few layers of saran wrap and then very neatly use duct tape to make an air tight seal. Next, put bowls of baking soda near every window, door, and vent. You want roughly a pound of baking soda for each, but a few pounds at the front door. Now that that's done, lets get rid of this body. You need to drain it of all blood as soon as possible. This will slow down the decay and help with the stench. Contrary to popular belief, draining blood from the neck is not the best method. The femoral artery works much better. Put the body in the bathtub, propping the feet up at one end the and the torso leaning against the back of the bathtub. Think of a reclining chair. That's the position you want. Now, slice the thigh from knee to buttocks, cutting the femoral artery length wise. Once the body starts draining, you'll need to add a ton of bleach to keep the smell down as well as maintaining a clean environment. It will take roughly a day to fully drain. I'd recommend sealing the room until it's fully drained. After draining, they body will be much easier and cleaner to work with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkwynde
Now that the blood is drained, you can easily hack the body into pieces. You'll need a mallet, preferably rubber coated (you can melt the rubber later to dispose of DNA), some sort of wedge, again rubber coated, and then a knife. Don't use anything you'll be attached to, as this will be the last time you use them. Carving knives work well. Cut the flesh away from around the joins, exposing the bone. Cut away any tendons and cartilage that is exposed. Use the wedge and mallet to sever the joints. After this the body will be easier to move. I'd go on, but I've likely scared some of you.
Either someone's a HUGE Dexter fan, or they're going to have to fake like they are to the cops. ;)
Nope. Just do a lot of reading. That was me just summarizing what I read about some serial killer. I need to look up where I found it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alixi
And you were talking about running for office. haha.
He suddenly just became more electable.Quote:
Originally Posted by diethx
One day. Not anytime soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by diethx
Is it wrong that while reading this my immediate thought was "Wait, then how did Krieger manage to drain and chop up the Italian PM in like an hour in La Scandalo?"Quote:
Originally Posted by WRoss
My suspicions have been confirmed...the PC harbors some sick fuckers.
Just in case you were wondering too, I concluded he must have done rapid chest compressions after opening the arteries to speed up the draining process.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tisket
wtfQuote:
Originally Posted by the fat white duke
Someone planted something in my plants. Really quickly. Then they done pranked my ass and told me it was blooming the way it was supposed to. And no one told me it was just a twig with some flowers on it and everyone pretended to be impressed and I was mindfucked.
God Bless America
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=ul4CZrnEFxU
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's fantasized about standing on the stage of American Idol and opening up with a machine gun.Quote:
Originally Posted by Androidpk
We should start a thread about who we would kill if we found out we were dying from a brain tumor. With the understanding that no credit accrues for killing someone on your own death pool list. Keep it clean, people.
Just myself, involving a ducati and however much highway as it takes.
Just finished watching girl with the dragon tattoo. Wow.
I want to have hot passionate sex with this man: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BURnf...=youtube_gdata
And no, I don't give a shit if that link was already posted somewhere.
Chef cooks and serves his genitals to highest bidders:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...ular#s=1018957
Gak.
And you thought getting spit on your burger was bad.
wowQuote:
Originally Posted by Tisket
I know. I didn't think Tisket could be passionate either.Quote:
Originally Posted by diethx
I'm sorry, I can't hear you because all the blood in my body has rushed to my giant girl boner. And somehow a lack of blood in my ears makes them unable to hear. Or read the PC.Quote:
Originally Posted by AnticorRifling
Clicked on the video, didn't look at it until the 45 second mark, thought you wanted to bang a man with no arms at first.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tisket
The secret to sexxing up ladies is being an overweight and balding french dude that can accurately kick soccer balls.
Mind blown.
Aw, you know you already sex us up. Besides, I don't think a French accent (or speaking French I guess, haha) is sexy on any man and in fact it was working against him quite hard in that video.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryvicke
That video reminded me of this video that I posted on my facebook years ago. I was psyched to see it's still up or got put up again.
He puts out a candle with a boomerang. And does tons of other shit with a boomerang.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=UzaMDp3dgJc
I like a little heft in my men and hair is highly overrated.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryvicke
Also, thefarmer wins this discussion via pm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ktG...eature=related
I can't stop watching it.
Wonder how long it took him to get that good. I'd like to see him do that shit Mad Max style.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryvicke
Lintense!
Sometimes I seriously wonder about the people in charge at the UN.Quote:
Robert Mugabe asked to be UN 'leader for tourism'
The Zimbabwe president, accused of ethnic cleansing and bankrupting his country, asked to champion tourism
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012...-envoy-tourism