Mexican Swine Flu

[ClydeR]

I always figured the next pandemic would start in Mexico. Maybe now we'll finally build that wall to keep Mexicans from sneaking into our country.

The CDC says (http://wwwn.cdc.gov/travel/destinationMexico.aspx) that if you're going to travel to Mexico, you need to get vaccinations for hepatitis A, hepatitis B, typhoid and rabies. Hepatitis A is the disease you get from eating human feces, and Mexico's water supply is apparently so mixed up with its sewer system that you need that vaccination if you're going there. You're also supposed to take special drugs with you for ailments that many travelers develop in Mexico.

I have to wonder how Mexicans got their DNA mixed up swine DNA.

[Jayvn]

I can't wait till Clyder has a daughter and one day finds her in bed with an entire mexican football team... that's soccer I think...

[iJin]

Futbol.

[Apotheosis]

I can't wait till Clyder has a daughter and one day finds her in bed with an entire mexican football team... that's soccer I think...

why did that make me laugh?

[Rocktar]

There is a reason that they say "Don't drink the water."

DUH, why do you think beer and other alcoholic drinks are good for you, cause THEY don't have many germs in them and neither does the glass after you pour them in.

[Kyra231]

http://xkcd.com/574/

[Asha]

I'll update you all with the incredible tabloid scare-mongering our rags are capable of and no doubt will do.
Sometimes they're amazingly bad.

[Sean of the Thread]

lolozlzlzolz.

"My dad said flu vaccines are linked to autism so to be safe from swine flu I'm trying to lick an autistic kid."


seriously wtf hahaha

[Clove]

Fuckin' Mexicans.

That is all.

[BigWorm]

http://xkcd.com/574/

Goddamn I love that webcomic

[Methais]

http://comedyisgood.com/photos/mexicans.jpg
http://www.nicaliving.com/files/images/p621.preview.jpg

[Sean of the Thread]

But TONIGHT! THEY DINE IN SAN DIEGO!

So think twice Mexicans about no burritos in America.

[LMingrone]

I better move to Madagascar before they close the ports.

[Methais]

But TONIGHT! THEY DINE IN SAN DIEGO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7qKD-Ph7ds

[Sean of the Thread]

I see your dine in San Diego and raise you this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJMqdUGZZ9s

[Methais]

I see your BC vs. Mex and raise you this:

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.

[Sean of the Thread]

Gold
and I fold.

[Methais]

http://gallery.calebhammel.com/storage/post-02/Pwned.jpg

[Sean of the Thread]

hahah that's just not right I'd rep but unable.

[septus]

Swine flu is tasty

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs016.snc1/2974_88784954704_18807449704_1705896_1952424_n.jpg

[Parkbandit]

I see your BC vs. Mex and raise you this:

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )

Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.

I would be laughing my ass off.. if it weren't so fucking sadly true.

[ClydeR]

Fox News puts the blame for the Mexican Swine Flu right where it belongs.


As the swine flu crisis threatens to become a global pandemic, health experts are asking whether the health system in Mexico, where the virus originated, is up to dealing with the outbreak and whether an earlier response might have prevented its worldwide spread.

More... (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,518258,00.html)

[Back]

Because every other sovereign nation in the world knows how to stop viruses from mutating?

[Sean of the Thread]

Let's strategically bomb mexico out into a parking lot.

Except for the spring break resorts and coffee plantations.

[Rocktar]

Swine flu is tasty

http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs016.snc1/2974_88784954704_18807449704_1705896_1952424_n.jpg


:rofl:

That Sir, is a WIN.

[Warriorbird]

They actually had a pic of the poor patient zero kid on CNN.

[Kyra231]

I may have to drive north & choke the shit out of the next 'concerned' relative that emails/calls/texts me about this crap. Reminiscent of a few years ago 'omg AVIAN FLU, you have birds in your HOUSE you should get rid of them before you & your kids DIE!!11!!' ffs :banghead:

I'm not going to panic about an illness that in the vast majority of cases does not even require a doctor's visit for recovery.

Coming up next week, the COMMON COLD PANDEMIC! Close the schools, shut down the airports!!

[Sean of the Thread]

COMMON COLD PANDEMIC!


According to your avatar that's a great pandemic to have...


p.s. email me the nsfw rated version k thx.

[Parkbandit]

I wonder if Obama will use this "crisis" to shove socialized healthcare down our throats...

[radamanthys]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/4/46/X4jaqo.jpg.gif/180px-X4jaqo.jpg.gif

No, Obama is going to use this to socialize Mexico's healthcare. I mean... they're poor, too, right? They deserve our wealth! Let pay their healthcare, too.

[Trouble]

Coming up next week, the COMMON COLD PANDEMIC! Close the schools, shut down the airports!!

Funny you mention airports... Here at TSA they've already implemented an IT systems freeze to reduce chances of availability issues as "DHS and TSA support swine flu activites." Lol.

[Rocktar]

No, Obama is going to use this to socialize Mexico's healthcare. I mean... they're poor, too, right? They deserve our wealth! Let pay their healthcare, too.

I thought we already did, all they had to do was stop in at their friendly US hospital without any documentation and bingo, it's taken care of, right?

[Stanley Burrell]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/4/46/X4jaqo.jpg.gif/180px-X4jaqo.jpg.gif

No, Obama is going to use this to socialize Mexico's healthcare. I mean... they're poor, too, right? They deserve our wealth! Let pay their healthcare, too.

Ah, president Madagascar.

Good guy, good guy.

[Gan]

So, can a Jew get the swine flu? Is that Kosher?

What happens if a muslim dies from the swine flu?

Questions that begs an answer...

[Nieninque]

http://img523.imageshack.us/img523/6871/pooh.png

[Parkbandit]

I still don't know why this is being blown out of proportion by the MSM. It's been stated that this swine flu is a relatively weak strand of flu that can easily be overcome with typical flu remedies.

I'm suspicious that perhaps this is less about the flu and more about creating a crisis to push political agendas.

[Nieninque]

I still don't know why this is being blown out of proportion by the MSM. It's been stated that this swine flu is a relatively weak strand of flu that can easily be overcome with typical flu remedies.

I'm suspicious that perhaps this is less about the flu and more about creating a crisis to push political agendas.


There might be some truth in that, Sir.

Someone posted this on another board I frequent about an interview on breakfast TV:


There was some TV GOLD on GMTV this morning,the sort of thing that makes it worth watching daytime tv once in a while....

Reporter is duly dispatched to Manchester airport to interview holiday makers fresh off the plane from Cancun hopefully one presumes,with the intent of a BREAKING NEWS FLU HORROR STORY.

He thrusts the mic in front of a couple and asks "what was the atmosphere in mexico like? Were you aware of the illness sweeping that country"?

"Er no,there was nothing on the mexican media about it,we weren't aware till we got on the plane to come home"

"OK" he presses on, "how are the local population dealing with the drama"?

"It's normal out there, everyone getting on with everyday life as far as we could tell, schools and shops open no problems"...

He's struggling now..."but there must have been people wearing masks"...

"No,the first mask we saw was in the papers when we got back to this airport"...

"You must be very relieved to get back home"...

"Not really, it's the end of our hols and work tomorrow".....

at this point i fell off me sofa..

Crestfallen the guy turns to camera with a "it's back to you in the studio"..

TV GOLD.

[Parkbandit]

I keep reading different numbers of deaths.. from 120 to 7.. attributed to this flu strand.

And god love Joe Biden.. telling people they shouldn't get on any public transportation at all:

Biden tells family to stay off planes, subways
By NANCY BENAC – 2 hours ago

WASHINGTON (AP) — Joe Biden said Thursday he advised his family to stay off airplanes and subways because of the swine flu, a remark that forced the vice president's office to backtrack, the travel industry to cry foul and other government officials to try to massage Biden's message.

"I would tell members of my family — and I have — that I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now," Biden said on NBC's "Today" show.

Biden, who has a reputation for off-the-cuff remarks, went beyond any precautions recommended by the federal government. In discussing his personal advice to his family, he said simply, "That's me."

Within two hours, Biden's office issued a statement backing off the remarks and suggesting he was talking about travel to Mexico.

"On the 'Today Show' this morning, the vice president was asked what he would tell a family member who was considering air travel to Mexico this week," said spokeswoman Elizabeth Alexander. "The advice he is giving family members is the same advice the administration is giving to all Americans: that they should avoid unnecessary air travel to and from Mexico. If they are sick, they should avoid airplanes and other confined public spaces, such as subways."

Biden, who has three grown children and five grandchildren, was asked whether he would advise his own family against flying to Mexico on a commercial flight.

"It's not just going to Mexico, if you're in a confined aircraft and one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft," Biden said on NBC. "That's me. I would not be at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway."

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends avoiding nonessential travel to Mexico. But it isn't recommending that people avoid other travel because of the swine flu.

The airline and travel industries were quick to criticize Biden's remarks.

James May, president of the Air Transport Association, which represents airlines, sent Biden a letter expressing "extreme disappointment at your suggestion that people should avoid air travel."

American Airlines spokesman Tim Smith declined to comment directly on the vice president's remarks, but said, "To suggest that people not fly at this stage of things is a broad brush stroke bordering on fear mongering."

U.S. Travel Association President Roger Dow urged the public to "heed the advice of medical experts" and gently chided the vice president without specifically mentioning him.

"Elected officials must strike a delicate balance of accurately and adequately informing citizens of health concerns without unduly discouraging travel and other important economic activity," Dow said in a statement.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano offered to rewrite Biden's words for him: "I think the vice president ... if he could say that over again, he would say if they're feeling sick, they should stay off of public transit or confined spaces because that is indeed the advice that we're giving," she said on MSNBC.

On Radio Iowa this morning, Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, was less forgiving, calling it "a very unfortunate statement by the vice president."

During his decades as Delaware senator, Biden was a regular on Amtrak, riding the train from Wilmington to Washington.

Asked on NBC's "Today" show whether the U.S. government should close the border with Mexico, Biden said health authorities advise that would be impractical and noted the new flu is already in the U.S. and several other nations.

Instead, Biden said, the focus should be on slowing the spread of the virus through groups of people in close quarters, such as airplanes, malls, stadiums and classrooms.

"Closing the classroom and closing the border are two fundamentally different things," he said.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jLnHnko4_w1OMl3TDGKXwImeFCvQD97SSFG00

[Ignot]

I saw some Asian chicks and two old people walking around with those Doctor masks on at the Miami International airport. I assumed it was because of the Swine Flu.

[Sean of the Thread]

I saw some Asian chicks and two old people walking around with those Doctor masks on at the Miami International airport. I assumed it was because of the Swine Flu.


Are you sure it wasn't Milieena and Kitana in disguise?

[Ignot]

Are you sure it wasn't Milieena and Kitana in disguise?

I can't be sure. I have swine flu so my eyes were puffy and I couldn't see to well.

[Warriorbird]

Tumor Circus - Swine Flu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VumwZsjmpM&

Jello Biafra predicting the future in 1991.

[Stanley Burrell]

So, can a Jew get the swine flu? Is that Kosher?

What happens if a muslim dies from the swine flu?

Questions that begs an answer...


Egypt began slaughtering its roughly 300,000 pigs Wednesday even though experts said swine flu is not linked to pigs and not spread by eating pork. Angry farmers protested the government degree.

In Paris, the World Organization for Animal Health said Thursday "there is no evidence of infection in pigs, nor of humans acquiring infection directly from pigs."

Killing pigs "will not help to guard against public or animal health risks" presented by the virus and "is inappropriate," the group said in a statement.

Srs bzns.

[Warriorbird]

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/c/ca/Mexicandoom.jpg

[Tisket]

I went to Safeway last night and as I was wandering the aisles I took a swig of my water and swallowed wrong. I coughed quite a bit and I noticed people staring at me suspiciously. So I deliberately coughed a bit more as I finished up my shopping. I'm pretty sure I got one guy to leave the checkout line I was in. I haven't had that much fun shopping in a while.

[Sean of the Thread]

I haven't had that much fun shopping in a while.


Then you need to ghost ride your cart. That was fun.

[Sean of the Thread]

I agree with the only valid news source on television The Daily show and Colbert Report... North Korea's missile spread the swine flu.

[Sean of the Thread]

Then you need to ghost ride your cart. That was fun.


Speaking of ghost riding.. found one of Anticor and his milk truck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hR2XDLRqGA

[Nieninque]

http://s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/46786/1241002865/SwineFlu.gif

[Asha]

genuis

[Jayvn]

So..I got a really lame text the other night... you know little kids jokes that are so fucking terrible you laugh a little inside...

They said we'd have a black president when pigs fly, 2009 swine flu.

[ClydeR]

A new poll (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFlu/story?id=7471341) says that Americans are taking steps to avoid being exposed to the virus. One protective step that 17% of Americans are taking is to stop eating at Mexican restaurants. Until I read that poll, I was afraid that the message wasn't getting out and that Americans might be uninformed about the dangers.

[Back]

In other news... most people are stupid and the media caters to that.

I’ll bet that more than half the kitchen staff of restaurants nation wide are Central American. If you’ve lived in a hermetically sealed biodome your entire life a flea could shatter your fragile immune system let alone a take out burrito.

[AnticorRifling]

Speaking of ghost riding.. found one of Anticor and his milk truck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hR2XDLRqGA

This one is better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBPJTK1YBvs&NR=1

And fuck you I love my milk truck. :)

[Sean of the Thread]

This one is better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBPJTK1YBvs&NR=1

And fuck you I love my milk truck. :)

I've been trying to entertain myself as much as possible lately since living in the hood get's rather boring. (yeah right).

You latest video reminds of last night when I ghostrided the old man that comes into the bar selling roses until he finally literally RAN out.

Which I don't feel bad about at all. Hot chicks are the ones that are supposed to come into bars selling roses to couples. (or what always seems like a gypsy woman).

[Warriorbird]

I've been trying to entertain myself as much as possible lately since living in the hood get's rather boring. (yeah right).

You latest video reminds of last night when I ghostrided the old man that comes into the bar selling roses until he finally literally RAN out.

Which I don't feel bad about at all. Hot chicks are the ones that are supposed to come into bars selling roses to couples. (or what always seems like a gypsy woman).

Don't fuck with the old gypsy women.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jCP3oOymK8

[Sean of the Thread]

And shit the last thing I'd want to do is be outside a MRAP in Iraq. Wtf.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXl3Pdxrn-k

[Warriorbird]

Ha ha ha. They say Iraq is safer than New Orleans now.

[Stanley Burrell]

I saw Xyelin ghost riding and got so mad with playa hate that I turned into an angry black man and stole a whip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1O7ZvDFP_8&NR=1

This whole ghost riding shit is retarded and I hope people's Escalades run them over so I can get a third kidney. Qopiweiroeurioueoeower.

[Allereli]

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d26/vankrasn/pooh.jpg

[Allereli]

my boss's daughter caught swine flu at camp