22 Ways to be a good democrat

[Rue]

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make 'The Passion of the Christ' for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day ..........but it's not okay to say 'Merry Christmas.'

Ready to vote???

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Well that was very uninspired. I give it a LOL factor of -1.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

It's just a laundry list of bad democratic decisions taken to extreme; you could do the same with a republican slant.

All lawyers should be killed/fired, and a new law, called "common sense" should be created to prevent stupid shit like that from happening.

[Jorddyn]

Well, wasn't that a hateful bunch of crap.

[TheEschaton]

I just looked at the first one,


1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

realized you could reverse it and have the same supposed hypocrisy from a GOP point of view, and stopped reading this list.

-TheE-

[Sean of the Thread]

Alll look at all the democrats boo hooooing.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I'm a republican

[Sean of the Thread]

Then you're obviously not included in my statement.


Keep up old man.

[Celephais]

I dislike both parties, and think it's a really stupid meme. We all know that just because one member of a party believes something that everyone in that party does, or you have to believe in every aspect of a party to support them.

[Sean of the Thread]

Hey I'm a republican and pro choice!

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b236/Japgross/PRO.jpg




*I think that was one of my more drunken mspaint moments so don't give me too much shit.

[Tea & Strumpets]

I just looked at the first one,



realized you could reverse it and have the same supposed hypocrisy from a GOP point of view, and stopped reading this list.

-TheE-

Regardless of your stance on either issue (abortion/capital punishment), I don't think you can find another person that would agree that abortion is identical to putting a murderer to death for his/her crimes. If you can find such a person, I recommend getting married and creating the stupidest child in the world's history.

[TheEschaton]

Of course they're not the same. I'm just saying you could reverse the positions (pro-life, pro-death penalty), and have the same supposed hypocrisy (which is WHY I INCLUDED THAT WORD) that applies to the majority of Republicans. Or at least the vocal ones.

I don't think it's a hypocrisy precisely because I agree that they are two far different things. I was merely point out the stupidity of the first item on the list.

-TheE-

[Jorddyn]

If you can find such a person, I recommend getting married and aborting the stupidest child in the world's history.

Better.

[Gan]

1 star.

:(

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

23. Supporting John Edwards, and his 26,000 square foot air conditioner.

[Sean of the Thread]

That bumped this up to 3 stars at least.

[Clove]

I just looked at the first one,



realized you could reverse it and have the same supposed hypocrisy from a GOP point of view, and stopped reading this list.

-TheE-

Great. What about the other 21?

[Parkbandit]

Regardless of your stance on either issue (abortion/capital punishment), I don't think you can find another person that would agree that abortion is identical to putting a murderer to death for his/her crimes. If you can find such a person, I recommend getting married and creating the stupidest child in the world's history.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/WarclaidhmPic-2.jpg
:)

[Chadj]

I can't believe that picture is still in circulation. I still throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I see it. :)

[CrystalTears]

I can't believe that picture is still in circulation. I still throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I see it. :)
I can't believe you came back. I threw up a little in my mouth too. :tongue:

[Chadj]

I actually just remembered my password. I've lurked a fair amount for the past few months, and made a couple of posts.

[Ilvane]

Ann Richards on How to Be a Good Republican:

1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3. You have to be against all government programs, but expect Social Security checks on time.

4. You have to believe that AIDS victims deserve their disease, but smokers with lung cancer and overweight individuals with heart disease don't deserve theirs.

5. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with sporting a gun.

6. You have to believe...everything Rush Limbaugh says.

7. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant, housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.

8. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the death penalty.

9. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

10. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes a profit.

11. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

12. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really faithful husbands.

13. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you instantly popular in the barrio.

14. You have to believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.

15. You have to be against government interference in business, until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.

16. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

17. You have to believe government has nothing to do with providing police protection, national defense, and building roads.

18. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an elite private school with a $1,000 voucher.

[Ilvane]

An older one, but good nonetheless.:)

Angela

[Sean of the Thread]

Hey Ilvane didn't choke on a bucket of KFC and die.

Guess I lost that bet.. we all thought you were dead.

[Ilvane]

I'm here, and I don't eat KFC either.

Angela

[weasel82]

Esch,

True, although the rationalization of it would never be the same. So one could only claim it with a very shallow argument...


I just looked at the first one,



realized you could reverse it and have the same supposed hypocrisy from a GOP point of view, and stopped reading this list.

-TheE-

[Sean of the Thread]

I'm here, and I don't eat KFC either.

Angela

Oh well HI.

[Ilvane]

HI to you too.:)

[chillmonster]

3+ pages and this hasn't deteriorated into a personal insult fest. How disappointed some people must feel...

[Gan]

:popcorn:

Patience grasshopper. Patience.

[holocene]

yeah, I believe this most* of these things, i just wouldn't phrase them in these ways. so what?

*I'm not much of Hilary fan.

[chillmonster]

yeah, I believe this most* of these things, i just wouldn't phrase them in these ways. so what?

*I'm not much of Hilary fan.

You can't be serious. It's one thing to disagree with someone. If you believe this stuff, though, you're only buying into straw men created by people who want to exploit you. If you want to learn what people really believe, better to learn from them than from people who either hate them or have a vested interest in making them look bad.

[Gan]

... better to learn from them than from people who either hate them or have a vested interest in making them look bad.

Opposite sides of the same coin.


Its better to listen to all of it and then form your own opinion based on what you filter out as fact.

[chillmonster]

Opposite sides of the same coin.


Its better to listen to all of it and then form your own opinion based on what you filter out as fact.

Not exactly. If someone says, "Here is what I believe," and they work toward those ends you should take what they've said and done on face value or at least view their actions first through the lense of their stated goals and beliefs. If you first listen to people with a vested interest in making them look bad, everything they do will be colored by negative preconceptions.

And it applies both ways.

Edited to add:

Those preconceptions are a main reason why we're so divided right now. That teachers comment and the one about corporations are a great example. Teachers unions are the main reason why our education system is falling behind, but vouchers will help some students while leaving so many others behind, eliminating public schools as the great equalizer they were meant to be. The answer lies in compromise, but that will never happen because the other side obviously hates America and Americans and can't be trying to do what they think is right no matter what they say. Abortion, privatization...there are a lot of issues where compromise would do us good, but until we eliminate the venom in the discourse we will never get much done. (not much good at least)

[Gan]

Not exactly.

Yes, exactly.

Rarely, if ever, will you ever see a political candidate make seriously disparaging comments about themselves, hence they will naturally be biased to advertise their best foot forward.

Much like someone who 'hates' the same candidate will always strive to display the candidate's worst foot forward.

[thefarmer]

Those preconceptions are a main reason why we're so divided right now. That teachers comment and the one about corporations are a great example. Teachers unions are the main reason why our education system is falling behind, but vouchers will help some students while leaving so many others behind, eliminating public schools as the great equalizer they were meant to be.

Source?

[Hulkein]

I just looked at the first one,



realized you could reverse it and have the same supposed hypocrisy from a GOP point of view, and stopped reading this list.

-TheE-

Well to be fair, when you reverse it at least you have a guilty party being killed.

I'm against both though.

Some of them are funny, some are easy to argue against. Hardcore liberals (IE: Ilvane) suck would've sufficed.

[chillmonster]

Yes, exactly.

Rarely, if ever, will you ever see a political candidate make seriously disparaging comments about themselves, hence they will naturally be biased to advertise their best foot forward.

Much like someone who 'hates' the same candidate will always strive to display the candidate's worst foot forward.

We might have to agree to disagree, but I'm not sure you're really getting what I'm saying. I think judging someone FIRST by their actions through the lense of their own words is better than listening to someone so who you know isn't above distorting the truth to color your opinion before you actually see the facts. I didn't say that you shouldn't hear contrary opinions, but you should first go to the source then form your opinion of their character from that baseline.


Source?

Was that a joke? Did we start requiring bibliographies in my absence?

[Keller]

My penis is 6 inches long and 6.5 inches in circumference.

Does that make it a chode?

[Daniel X]

My penis is 6 inches long..

And you call yourself a black man.

On topic: Fuck whitey.

[peam]

Keller's black?

[Keller]

Keller's black?

On the inside, yo.

(I'm as white as they fucking come)

[chillmonster]

On the inside, yo.

(I'm as white as they fucking come)

Now that I know you're white, the fact that you just said 'yo' is lame as hell.

[Keller]

Now that I know you're white, the fact that you just said 'yo' is lame as hell.

I'm glad you understood my point.

:tool:

[peam]

Black Star is so incredible.

[Keller]

Black Star is so incredible.

One two three,
Mos Def and Talib Kweli,
We came to rock it on to the tip-top,
Best alliance in hip-hop, wayohohhh.

[chillmonster]

I'm glad you understood my point.

:tool:

How does understanding your point make me a tool? :fence:

Edit:
Livin my life expressin my liberty
It gotta be -
Done Properly
My name is in the middle of equality...

[Keller]

How does understanding your point make me a tool? :fence:

Oi veh.

[chillmonster]

Oi veh.

What does that mean? :p

[Necromancer]

I actually got kind of excited when I read that list because I'm always trying to figure out what liberal politics really look like to the right, but that list was just worthless.

It was clearly written by one of those podunk, small-town religious right extremist Idaho republicans who are filled with nothing but hurtful stereotypes.

[Keller]

It was clearly written by one of those podunk, small-town religious right extremist Idaho republicans who are filled with nothing but hurtful stereotypes.

I thought ParkBandit was from Tampa?

[Hulkein]

I actually got kind of excited when I read that list because I'm always trying to figure out what liberal politics really look like to the right, but that list was just worthless.

It was clearly written by one of those podunk, small-town religious right extremist Idaho republicans who are filled with nothing but hurtful stereotypes.

Idaho is the first state that comes to your mind when you think small-town religious? That'd be pretty far down my list.

[Sean]

Black Star is so incredible.

Off topic: They were a great live show when I saw them in 99.

On topic: I thought we were at least 8 moths away from having to read lame lists like this one.

[Keller]

Off topic: They were a great live show when I saw them in 99.

On topic: I thought we were at least 8 moths away from having to read lame lists like this one.

TheE and I saw them live this summer in NYC. =)

[Sean]

TheE and I saw them live this summer in NYC. =)

Rock the bells?

[TheEschaton]

Yup. It was amazing.

[Parkbandit]

TheE and I saw them live this summer in NYC. =)

Did you also hold hands?

Cute little libs..

[Gan]

Rock your bells?

Fixed that.


:whistle:

[ViridianAsp]

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

Good one.

[TheEschaton]

Keller and I didn't meet up, we just happened to be at the same concert with the same tens of thousands of people and same acts.

-TheE-

[Hulkein]

Things were weird when they woke up that morning in the same hotel bed so they went their separate ways for the concert.

[Gan]

So thats where that picture is from that Sean2 has.

:lol:

[Daniel]

I had such high hopes when TheE set himself up like that. Way to let me down guys.