Gardening Q

[Stanley Burrell]

Help.

I need to one-up the women who are all garden-savvy. I've got a giant pot with tons of soil in it. And it's really important that I plant something that grows into something better than everyone else's crap.

I don't want to, like, do anything. I'll probably make a hole and pour fifty seeds or whatever inside of the soil and cover it up.

Anyway, what is something extremely easy to grow, that looks better than everything else and requires like no maintence. And looks ridiculously unique vs. what everyone's mom and grandma has already? And is relatively inexpensive.

I have to do this or I'll get lectured by all the women and end up having to do weeding again or dumb shit. Which'll probably happen anyway, but I've been sort of, maybe a little I guess, passionate about this for the last fifteen minutes. Thanks.

[Tgo01]

I'll probably make a hole and pour fifty seeds or whatever inside of the soil and cover it up.

Hmm.

[Stanley Burrell]

I could FTFM for comical purposes, but this is serious.

Look, I'm not getting bitched at and spoken to about plants by my grandmothers and mom. So this is my plan, somehow.

[Delias]

I could FTFM for comical purposes, but this is serious.

Look, I'm not getting bitched at and spoken to about plants by my grandmothers and mom. So this is my plan, somehow.

My advice is to go buy a little pre-planted indoor herb garden. I think I've seen those before.

Then you can take them out of the pre-packagedness and like put them into divided sections of the planter. Then you can be like, these herbs are practical, not just decorative, because I can cook with them.

[Archigeek]

What kind of lighting? Full sunlight? Low sunlight? Edible or non-edible plants?

Also:

You can't win vs old ladies when it comes to gardening: you're screwed. Buy some kneepads so that you don't trash your knees while weeding.

[Stanley Burrell]

My advice is to go buy a little pre-planted indoor herb garden. I think I've seen those before.

Then you can take them out of the pre-packagedness and like put them into divided sections of the planter. Then you can be like, these herbs are practical, not just decorative, because I can cook with them.

No. That's where I go to have women make me carry their damn purse along with those same pre-planted crap at the Home Depot while they talk my ear off in a patronizing manner about all this stuff that I can avoid if I somehow fake my gardening prowess to a level where that shit won't happen.

So if I somehow managed to duplicate exactly what they've done a bajillion times already, it would be the hand of God intervening in my banging-rocks-together skill at gardening.

[Delias]

No. That's where I go to have women make me carry their damn purse along with those same pre-planted crap at the Home Depot while they talk my ear off in a patronizing manner about all this stuff that I can avoid if I somehow fake my gardening prowess to a level where that shit won't happen.

So if I somehow managed to duplicate exactly what they've done a bajillion times already, it would be the hand of God intervening in my banging-rocks-together skill at gardening.

Can't you just find a woman and trade your sexing her up for her to do some gardening? That's like 101 level shit, bro.

[Stanley Burrell]

What kind of lighting? Full sunlight? Low sunlight? Edible or non-edible plants?

Also:

You can't win vs old ladies when it comes to gardening: you're screwed. Buy some kneepads so that you don't trash your knees while weeding.

Full sunlight. I want to grow it inside of a huge pot that I put too much soil in. Edit: That the flower people told me I put too much soil in, but it's a huge frickin' pot and they can't lift it. That's what's up.

[Stanley Burrell]

Can't you just find a woman and trade your sexing her up for her to do some gardening? That's like 101 level shit, bro.

If she's from planet Krypton where the flowers grow four dimensionally, sure. Otherwise, wtf difference would it make? It has to be better.

[Archigeek]

Full sunlight. I want to grow it inside of a huge pot that I put too much soil in. Edit: That the flower people told me I put too much soil in, but it's a huge frickin' pot and they can't lift it. That's what's up.

You will want to go with the 3-tiered method: some tall plant(s), some medium plant(s) and some trailing stuff that hangs over the edge. Good luck. And be nice to your grandma.