Thread for things that blew your mind today.

[Asile]

The level of the sense of entitlement some people have amazes me. We got a VERY upset customer, who comes in because he bowls in a league (remember, I work for a nationwide chain of bowling centers), and not only was he pissed about some of the "perks" for league bowlers being cut (new management is focusing a little more on the people who come in for fun, because they tend to pay more).. he was upset about the staff trying to make the conditions right for others in there for the sport because it inconvenienced him (no noes! he had to move so the lanes could be properly conditioned!).. and there's something about the new scoring software that he's none too happy about either. And if the following demands aren't met, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, not only will he never visit one of our locations again, but he'll go public on FB and reviews about what a crappy company we are.

• Unlimited free games as long as he's a league bowler with our company
• Lane reservations on a freshly oiled pattern of his choice (serious bowlers can be very picky about how the lane is prepared)
• Lower the price for games played after league bowling to what it used to be before the new management made changes (about $1/game)
• Getting back his 2 free games from the night when he was so horribly insulted, or cash equivalent
• Reinstate the free 2-hour practice session each Friday (one of our busiest days for people coming in for fun)
• Put oatmeal raisin cookies back on the menu (I'm actually with this, they were DA BOMB)
• 90% discount on all food purchases (Hahahahaha.. Employees NEVER even got it so good)

. . . Yeeaaaahhhh...

[Suppressed Poet]

Preface to writing this long ass shit:

I can't believe I am doing this. I should and do know better. I have never had a MySpace, or the Twitter, or a Facebook account. In real life I am a very private person. I have a few really good close friends, and I have my family. But I'm now, in an effort to understand my own foreign emotions, posting in the social forum of the PC to share some really deep shit that is going on in my private life.

The events that led up to my mind being fucked:

I am 30 years old and live with fiancée. We have been engaged since April of 2013 and have a wedding date set in March. On 1/6/2014 we were very surprised to learn that we would be having a baby. She was a couple days late on her period and no less than 6 at home tests throughout that day confirmed it. Seems our natural family planning method really didn't work this particular time after being successful to us for a prior three years.

But...our margin of error wasn't that far off. We already have planned a wedding around the corner, and we both knew we wanted to have a child soon after, so after the initial shock of everything I felt really good about this and happy. We researched and found one of those mysterious female anatomy specialist of the vagina and babies, and our first visit scheduled for 1/21/2014. We decided that we would wait to share the news with friends & family until we first visited the doctor.

What actually blew away my motherfuckin’ mind:

So fast forward to Tuesday of this week, our first visit with the gynecologist (which is shortened informal word for the doctor I described above)... We go to the doctor's office feeling upbeat and a little bit nervous. It was actually a rather comfortable environment in a very routine human factory type way. We checked in, waited 15 minutes, they took her vitals, she peed in the cup, asked some questions, she took her blood, then the doctor arrives, she checked out her junk, took a swab, said everything looked healthy, 7 1/2 weeks into pregnancy, we are looking at a due date of 9-9-2014, buda-bing and budda-boom... and FINALLY we get to the sonogram part.

Our sonogram specialist was this really small Asian lady with a perma-frown. She tells my fiancée that it is too early to the belly-jelly machine and instead will have to insert this special rubber dildo with a camera into her pussy. We look at the computer monitor. It looks kind of like a really out of focus version of the black and white tornado event from the Wizard of Oz. Then we see this little tiny dot that is flashing and she tells us that is our baby and the heartbeat. YAY!!! Then she moves it slightly to the left and there is another flashing dot. Before I could even put the two together, the tiny Asian lady says "Congratulations you are having twins".

As soon as those words left the tiny Asian lady's mouth...I remember my whole body started feeling really warm. The Asian lady gave a half assed chuckle amidst the dead silence. I gave a little laugh back thinking the damn vagina camera must be broken. My fiancée asks "you are joking, right?" to which the tiny Asian lady says "Nao, I em nah jahking.." and confirms what we are looking at is two heart beats. She goes on to explain it is monoamniotic because here we see this...I tuned out that part both because I was in utter shock and she was hurting my brain.

The doctor sat us down again and told us to forget about everything she just told us. We are having identical twins. We are facing a higher risk pregnancy. Our due date is targeting 37 weeks but apparently few make it that far with twins. We will have to see this specialist along with her, and have twin appointments each time. She said to forget her advice that the OTC prenatal vitamins were just fine, and gave us a prescription for 3 different vitamin supplements. We can count on her having a C-section and be in the hospital for 5 days after delivery. Since then we set a follow up appointment for 2-20. We have told our family and close friends, who are very supportive.

My so far reaction to all of this mind fucking:

I have never felt so many emotions at once. I absolutely thrilled, excited, nervous, proud, anxious, happy ... but most of all scared out of my fucking mind.

We have to get bigger cars now. We have to get a bigger house now. We now need a double stroller. I need to plan for two college funds. Double the fucking diapers...

I need to hold my boss to gunpoint and yell "GIVE ME A RAISE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! I CAN'T CALL MYSELF A MAN AND HAVE MY WIFE AND KIDS WEARING RAGS. YOU HEAR ME?!? RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!"

But it is all good because I have a master plan. I am going to mold these beautiful babies into elite professional athletes. Can you imagine Olympic volley ball doubles? Or watching two identical twins kick some ass in the Wimbledon? Or two bad ass clone quarterbacks in the NFL? We are talking some real serious Nike and our own family-named shoe 'yes motherfucker' endorsements right there.

[Tgo01]

Congratulations! That's awesome.

[waywardgs]

Hah. Awesome, congratulations.

[Gnome Rage]

:O

Yay!

[Methais]

Preface to writing this long ass shit:

I can't believe I am doing this. I should and do know better. I have never had a MySpace, or the Twitter, or a Facebook account. In real life I am a very private person. I have a few really good close friends, and I have my family. But I'm now, in an effort to understand my own foreign emotions, posting in the social forum of the PC to share some really deep shit that is going on in my private life.

The events that led up to my mind being fucked:

I am 30 years old and live with fiancée. We have been engaged since April of 2013 and have a wedding date set in March. On 1/6/2014 we were very surprised to learn that we would be having a baby. She was a couple days late on her period and no less than 6 at home tests throughout that day confirmed it. Seems our natural family planning method really didn't work this particular time after being successful to us for a prior three years.

But...our margin of error wasn't that far off. We already have planned a wedding around the corner, and we both knew we wanted to have a child soon after, so after the initial shock of everything I felt really good about this and happy. We researched and found one of those mysterious female anatomy specialist of the vagina and babies, and our first visit scheduled for 1/21/2014. We decided that we would wait to share the news with friends & family until we first visited the doctor.

What actually blew away my motherfuckin’ mind:

So fast forward to Tuesday of this week, our first visit with the gynecologist (which is shortened informal word for the doctor I described above)... We go to the doctor's office feeling upbeat and a little bit nervous. It was actually a rather comfortable environment in a very routine human factory type way. We checked in, waited 15 minutes, they took her vitals, she peed in the cup, asked some questions, she took her blood, then the doctor arrives, she checked out her junk, took a swab, said everything looked healthy, 7 1/2 weeks into pregnancy, we are looking at a due date of 9-9-2014, buda-bing and budda-boom... and FINALLY we get to the sonogram part.

Our sonogram specialist was this really small Asian lady with a perma-frown. She tells my fiancée that it is too early to the belly-jelly machine and instead will have to insert this special rubber dildo with a camera into her pussy. We look at the computer monitor. It looks kind of like a really out of focus version of the black and white tornado event from the Wizard of Oz. Then we see this little tiny dot that is flashing and she tells us that is our baby and the heartbeat. YAY!!! Then she moves it slightly to the left and there is another flashing dot. Before I could even put the two together, the tiny Asian lady says "Congratulations you are having twins".

As soon as those words left the tiny Asian lady's mouth...I remember my whole body started feeling really warm. The Asian lady gave a half assed chuckle amidst the dead silence. I gave a little laugh back thinking the damn vagina camera must be broken. My fiancée asks "you are joking, right?" to which the tiny Asian lady says "Nao, I em nah jahking.." and confirms what we are looking at is two heart beats. She goes on to explain it is monoamniotic because here we see this...I tuned out that part both because I was in utter shock and she was hurting my brain.

The doctor sat us down again and told us to forget about everything she just told us. We are having identical twins. We are facing a higher risk pregnancy. Our due date is targeting 37 weeks but apparently few make it that far with twins. We will have to see this specialist along with her, and have twin appointments each time. She said to forget her advice that the OTC prenatal vitamins were just fine, and gave us a prescription for 3 different vitamin supplements. We can count on her having a C-section and be in the hospital for 5 days after delivery. Since then we set a follow up appointment for 2-20. We have told our family and close friends, who are very supportive.

My so far reaction to all of this mind fucking:

I have never felt so many emotions at once. I absolutely thrilled, excited, nervous, proud, anxious, happy ... but most of all scared out of my fucking mind.

We have to get bigger cars now. We have to get a bigger house now. We now need a double stroller. I need to plan for two college funds. Double the fucking diapers...

I need to hold my boss to gunpoint and yell "GIVE ME A RAISE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!! I CAN'T CALL MYSELF A MAN AND HAVE MY WIFE AND KIDS WEARING RAGS. YOU HEAR ME?!? RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!"

But it is all good because I have a master plan. I am going to mold these beautiful babies into elite professional athletes. Can you imagine Olympic volley ball doubles? Or watching two identical twins kick some ass in the Wimbledon? Or two bad ass clone quarterbacks in the NFL? We are talking some real serious Nike and our own family-named shoe 'yes motherfucker' endorsements right there.

Your post made me think of this:

[Suppressed Poet]

Heh...

Yep. I forgot all about double mint. Actually another thing since hearing the news...

I have pretty much fanaticized about the Coors Light Twins since I saw that catchy commercial. I know I have referenced them a few times in my ramblings here. This is really fucking that up...especially if they turn out to be girls.

[Back]

The level of the sense of entitlement some people have amazes me. We got a VERY upset customer, who comes in because he bowls in a league (remember, I work for a nationwide chain of bowling centers), and not only was he pissed about some of the "perks" for league bowlers being cut (new management is focusing a little more on the people who come in for fun, because they tend to pay more).. he was upset about the staff trying to make the conditions right for others in there for the sport because it inconvenienced him (no noes! he had to move so the lanes could be properly conditioned!).. and there's something about the new scoring software that he's none too happy about either. And if the following demands aren't met, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, not only will he never visit one of our locations again, but he'll go public on FB and reviews about what a crappy company we are.

• Unlimited free games as long as he's a league bowler with our company
• Lane reservations on a freshly oiled pattern of his choice (serious bowlers can be very picky about how the lane is prepared)
• Lower the price for games played after league bowling to what it used to be before the new management made changes (about $1/game)
• Getting back his 2 free games from the night when he was so horribly insulted, or cash equivalent
• Reinstate the free 2-hour practice session each Friday (one of our busiest days for people coming in for fun)
• Put oatmeal raisin cookies back on the menu (I'm actually with this, they were DA BOMB)
• 90% discount on all food purchases (Hahahahaha.. Employees NEVER even got it so good)

. . . Yeeaaaahhhh...

Something I have learned about the service industry... you will be apologizing profusely to everyone. You can't and never will win with some people. Remember the ones you do win.

[Latrinsorm]

Congrats! Twins aren't too bad, you just have to figure out which one is the evil one ASAP.

And with a wedding coming up, you can now register for baby things!

[Back]

Crazy Idea. I was reading about how Google has a secret lab called Google X where they think of solving major problem in big ways. For example millions of people die on the roads so why not have driverless cars to reduce that number?

So I was thinking... set up huge banks of cycling facilities. Pay people $100 an hour to cycle. Have those cycles hooked up to power generators. This way we can help the economy, our power efficiency, and the state of America's health all in one go.