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Thread: Thread for things that blew your mind today.

  1. #411

    Default

    "Cold turkey" means quitting without any smoking cessation aids, and has nothing to do with your process of "cutting back" or anything else. "Cutting back" doesn't exist. You either smoke or you don't.

  2. #412

    Default

    "Cold turkey" means quitting without any smoking cessation aids
    Year 1: I smoke a pack a day, and I decide I want to quit
    Year 2: I smoke 9/10 of a pack a day
    Year 3: I smoke 8/10 of a pack a day
    Year 4: I smoke 7/10 of a pack a day
    Year 5: I smoke 6/10 of a pack a day
    Year 6: I smoke 5/10 of a pack a day
    Year 7: I smoke 4/10 of a pack a day
    Year 8: I smoke 3/10 of a pack a day
    Year 9: I smoke 2/10 of a pack a day
    Year 10: I smoke 1/10 of a pack a day
    Year 11: I smoke 1 cigarette a day
    Year 12: I smoke 1 cigarette every other day
    Year 13: I smoke 1 cigarette every third day
    Year 14: I smoke 1 cigarette every week
    Year 15: I stop smoking

    I've quit cold turkey?
    Razzle them. Dazzle them. Razzle dazzle them.

  3. #413

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol View Post
    Year 1: I smoke a pack a day, and I decide I want to quit
    Year 2: I smoke 9/10 of a pack a day
    Year 3: I smoke 8/10 of a pack a day
    Year 4: I smoke 7/10 of a pack a day
    Year 5: I smoke 6/10 of a pack a day
    Year 6: I smoke 5/10 of a pack a day
    Year 7: I smoke 4/10 of a pack a day
    Year 8: I smoke 3/10 of a pack a day
    Year 9: I smoke 2/10 of a pack a day
    Year 10: I smoke 1/10 of a pack a day
    Year 11: I smoke 1 cigarette a day
    Year 12: I smoke 1 cigarette every other day
    Year 13: I smoke 1 cigarette every third day
    Year 14: I smoke 1 cigarette every week
    Year 15: I stop smoking

    I've quit cold turkey?
    you have aids, the disease

  4. Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol View Post
    Year 1: I smoke a pack a day, and I decide I want to quit
    Year 2: I smoke 9/10 of a pack a day
    Year 3: I smoke 8/10 of a pack a day
    Year 4: I smoke 7/10 of a pack a day
    Year 5: I smoke 6/10 of a pack a day
    Year 6: I smoke 5/10 of a pack a day
    Year 7: I smoke 4/10 of a pack a day
    Year 8: I smoke 3/10 of a pack a day
    Year 9: I smoke 2/10 of a pack a day
    Year 10: I smoke 1/10 of a pack a day
    Year 11: I smoke 1 cigarette a day
    Year 12: I smoke 1 cigarette every other day
    Year 13: I smoke 1 cigarette every third day
    Year 14: I smoke 1 cigarette every week
    Year 15: I stop smoking

    I've quit cold turkey?
    Going off the evidence you provided I would say this is an example of a slow and gradual decline over a period of 15 years. I took about 3 weeks to go from a full pack and slightly more to half a pack.

  5. #415

    Default

    3 weeks is 3 weeks longer than cold turkey.
    Razzle them. Dazzle them. Razzle dazzle them.

  6. #416
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The United Kingdom
    Posts
    16,094

    Default

    A Dr told my buddy he could have died going cold turkey from the Diazepam he had been taking for years and years, telling him to ween himself off them by taking less and less each day instead.

    Cold turkey means kicking it immediately with no exceptions.
    And a delicious sandwich filling.

  7. #417

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bobmuhthol View Post
    3 weeks is 3 weeks longer than cold turkey.
    I understand that you're unfamiliar with the terminology. I smoked for 10 years and was probably actively "quitting" for at least 3. As a smoker you tend to smoke with lots of other people: at your job, at the bars, in fancy cars, etc.

    Here's a conversation that I've had at least 50 times:

    Me: want to have a smoke?
    Smoker: oh I didn't tell you? I quit!
    Me: oh nice! (subtext: I hate you for doing what I cannot) What did you use?

    Now Bob, I understand you're probably confused here, cause you're a virgin. When I say "what did you use?" I want to know what helped them quit. Was it Chantix? The patch? Fucking lasers? Hypnosis?

    Smoker: nothing! I quit cold turkey.

    Fin.

    Smokers don't give a fuck if you "cut back" or went from a full pack to half a pack or did anything else. I don't care how long it took them to quit, just that they quit. Cutting back doesn't help you quit, it saves you money and (if we're being fanciful) let's you think maybe you're not killing yourself as fast. In every conversation I ever had with a smoker about quitting, no one ever said "I'm going to just keep cutting back and back and back until finally I'm done!" CAUSE YOUR BODY WANTS THAT FUCKING CRACK.

  8. #418

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Ryvicke View Post
    Fucking lasers?
    Is that like crossing the streams in Ghost Busters?

  9. #419
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The United Kingdom
    Posts
    16,094

    Default

    "I'm gonna have a smoke break, you wanna smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are you, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself."

  10. Default

    Photonic reversal will help you quit. BY ENDING YOUR LIFE.

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