Sexual Abstinence...

[Archigeek]

Go ahead and develop a relationship without the sex. See if she's right for you. You can talk, and in her state, more talk, less nookie is probably good. Try that for a while, but make sure the boundaries are clear to both parties.

I once designed a meditation center for The Hazelden Foundation, which is an addiction recovery facility. When I was working on the project, some of the facilities people said that one of the things that happens when addicts come off their addiction is that they begin to see the value of other pleasurable acts, as well as regain function in other areas of pleasure like sex, that they'd lost due to the drugs. So one of the big problems they have is people who haven't had sex in a while (at least that meant anything) finally have their lebido back, sneaking off into the bushes to get busy.

The problem is that it can lead to addiction transferance or to a lack of focus on the problem they really need to deal with, not to mention having sex with people where the only thing they share is often a common addiction. That can almost never lead to anything good, because as they continue to get their lives back again and the addiction/recovery is no longer the center of their lives, then all they see is everything they DON'T share with that person. So... and I know I'm rambling, that's one reason they often think abstinance is a good thing for newly recovering addicts. And oh, no doors in the meditation center. No hiding places.

[Tisket]

Uh my reasoning was a little less technical...I think she's vulnerable right now and likely to feel taken advantage of when she's less vulnerable. That's all.

I have nothing to back up my feeling about it though. Total opinion only.

[Amber]

Female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy

If male really cares about female, and female's current mental state is vulnerable and clingy, then male needs to overcome urges and practice abstinence.

When people are vulnerable and clingy, they tend to look for outside validation of their worth. She needs to reach a state where she's strong enough to be her own validation. By having sex with her now, there's the possibility that she would use you as her validation, keeping her from realizing her own potential. If this happens and the relationship ends, she'll be hurt more than she is now, because she'll feel as if she's lost not only a boyfriend, but also her sense of worth. Alternatively, she might later see you as having used her neediness as a means to get her into bed. I've jumped into relationships when I was feeling needy myself. In my experience, it never ends well.

[radamanthys]

(Let me clarify before I post: She's not asking for advice, Stan is. Her state is of no concern to me unless it has an effect on Stan. Now I ramble.)

One idea of abstinence therapy is for when the person has a problem with impulse control; they're not really a drug addict but more of a general addict. Pleasurable things are done in great quantities to the detriment of the person.

Many shrinks will diagnose women like this with borderline personality disorder, especially in their late-teens, early-twenties. Other shrinks will tell aforementioned shrinks that they're full of shit. That's psychology for ya.

I've typically diagnosed them with "They need a good deep dicking". I was seldom correct in my assumption. They're a wild fun time, though.

However, you may find that you're on the road to becoming captain save-a-ho. That is never a good place to be.

I say if you need it, go for it. Her issues are on her shoulders, not yours. Your conscience needn't be bothered. You might pay for it down the road, but it's a good time while it lasts.

That said, you're a good guy and I think you're already feeling poorly about it. She's got some wires crossed, and it might be hard for you to escape the feeling that you're taking advantage. If that's the case, that feeling won't get better with more 'activity', but will likely get worse.

If I recall, you had a bit of an addiction thing going, as well. It's never a good idea to regressively exist back in that world, either.

It's up to you. Just do a cost/benefit. I'd probably hit it and deal with potential consequences as they come. Makes for an interesting, drama-filled life that has a sweeping effect on everyone around you. I'm also a dumbass, so going with what I'd do is kinda silly.

[4a6c1]

HAHAHAHAHA! PWNDDDDDD

Ok so this is what you should do. Get naked. Oil yourself up like buttah. Fro up your pubes and jew hair. Put on that leopard thong I sent you. Wait till she is fast asleep on your couch. Turn off the lights except for the strobe disco ball you (should) have twirling around (at all times). When you are CERTAIN she is in the middle of a REM cycle blast the jungle boogy and get down get down. By get down, get down of course I mean sky dive off the highest surface you can find into her sleeping (hopefully prone) body so that you land balls deep in her ass. Seriously she wont mind. And if she does we could probably prove in court that you thought she said 'ass dives' not abstinence. Or that abstinence means 'ass dives' in yiddish.

Get down Get down.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FePXu7LeW8A


Glad I could help.

[DCSL]

See now, I know *I* would be totally cool with that suggestion. What normal, sane (as I am!) woman wouldn't be?!

[TheLastShamurai]

However, you may find that you're on the road to becoming captain save-a-ho. That is never a good place to be.

So, so true.

[Stanley Burrell]

Alright, I'm smoking a tobacco pipe with black Cavendish, so I've been able to do the math:

On a purely physical basis, since she's a 7¾ or a flat 9 if you like 5"0' chicks, I think what I'll do is...

25%-chance: Unbutton her blouse and get real comfortable.

25%-chance: Keep saying lots of words and pretend like I'm listening (I do want to hear her out, but I'm only getting 3 hrs. of sleep until she's dropped off.)

15%-chance: Oversleep deliberately and open the door for her looking like I touched the third rail.

5%-chance: Shave my nad hair and snip the pubes around around my wang-base so my shlong looks longer.

0.5%-chance: Take my bottle of Absolut out of its homeostatic 0° Kelvin and hide it, just in case.

0.25%-chance: Deliberately initiate a fuck-the-world mentality conversation and offer her a drink.

0.25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Deny her my dick pounding. So hard. That it's popping out her other set of lips.

4%-chance: Of rain. Whereby I jerk it to her figure while she sleeps in the guest room.

25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Pound her. So hard. That my dick's popping out of her other set of lips.

And the other half would probably be just hanging out and shooting the shit and not taking advantage of someone I care greatly about, probably.

.

I'm'a blow up Megaton no matter how this ends up.

[radamanthys]

Alright, I'm smoking a tobacco pipe with black Cavendish, so I've been able to do the math:

On a purely physical basis, since she's a 7¾ or a flat 9 if you like 5"0' chicks, I think what I'll do is...

25%-chance: Unbutton her blouse and get real comfortable.

25%-chance: Keep saying lots of words and pretend like I'm listening (I do want to hear her out, but I'm only getting 3 hrs. of sleep until she's dropped off.)

15%-chance: Oversleep deliberately and open the door for her looking like I touched the third rail.

5%-chance: Shave my nad hair and snip the pubes around around my wang-base so my shlong looks longer.

0.5%-chance: Take my bottle of Absolut out of its homeostatic 0° Kelvin and hide it, just in case.

0.25%-chance: Deliberately initiate a fuck-the-world mentality conversation and offer her a drink.

0.25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Deny her my dick pounding. So hard. That it's popping out her other set of lips.

4%-chance: Of rain. Whereby I jerk it to her figure while she sleeps in the guest room.

25%-chance: Assuming she's moving in for the kill -- Pound her. So hard. That my dick's popping out of her other set of lips.

And the other half would probably be just hanging out and shooting the shit and not taking advantage of someone I care greatly about, probably.

.

I'm'a blow up Megaton no matter how this ends up.

Achievement: Double Pounder With Cheese
By the time you're done with her, her lady parts should look like ground hamburger coated with ranch dressing. Pound hard until achievement complete.

[Latrinsorm]

0° Kelvin

Is male not having sex with female the right thing to do?

Yes.

Help male not castrate himself.

Cast-iron undies.