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Thread: Ghorsa Borthuum, Founder of Kharam Dzu

  1. #1

    Default Ghorsa Borthuum, Founder of Kharam Dzu

    I put together a history of the life of Ghorsa Borthuum. For those who don't know who he was, he was basically the founder of Kharam Dzu, the principle town on Teras Isle. (Yeah I know...basically the only town on Teras Isle)

    Some past members of the Wordsmiths group - of which I used to be a member - will have seen this knocking around for 1 year, 10 months, 1 week, 5 days and 13 hours, 42 minutes. Yes I kept a record of the original submission date!! In fact I actually discussed putting this together with Itzel on April 2011. Although it has not been admitted into 'officials' documentation page, I thought I'd share it, as I fully intend to do a lot of RP around this.

    I've tried to keep all geographical and historical references as accurate as possible.

    As always I've retained the information on my site.

    http://www.assessrisk.com/personal/gs4_ghorsa.htm
    Bremerial God'thor
    ______________________________________

    Valinda accepts Aneris's embalmed puppy.
    Valinda blinks.
    Valinda frowns at an embalmed puppy.
    Aneris accepts Valinda's puppy pelt pantaloons.
    Speaking to Valinda, Aneris says, "Thanks again.... I'll be back with more dead puppies if I happen tah find yah around."
    Valinda says, "Nooo."
    Valinda exclaims, "Ive filled my dead puppy quota, sorry!"

  2. #2

    Default

    ha, someone was complaining about his document not being approved officially after 3 weeks.
    PB: One day you'll need this number: 988.

  3. #3

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Allereli View Post
    ha, someone was complaining about his document not being approved officially after 3 weeks.
    :/

    3 weeks eh? Tell that person to dig in.

    In the end it was just easier to shake hands, and go our separate ways with this project.

    I've got quite a few GS projects on the go but to be perfectly frank, from now on I'll just bypass the Officials and simply link here to my own site for comment and critique... Folks here are certainly not backward at coming forward with comments at least, and on the whole, they tend to be constructive....albeit laced with somewhat dubious humour.
    Bremerial God'thor
    ______________________________________

    Valinda accepts Aneris's embalmed puppy.
    Valinda blinks.
    Valinda frowns at an embalmed puppy.
    Aneris accepts Valinda's puppy pelt pantaloons.
    Speaking to Valinda, Aneris says, "Thanks again.... I'll be back with more dead puppies if I happen tah find yah around."
    Valinda says, "Nooo."
    Valinda exclaims, "Ive filled my dead puppy quota, sorry!"

  4. Default

    I haven't read much about Teras before so this was quite interesting, thanks for putting it up!

    (As a bit of constructive criticism--the passive voice was killing me while reading this. If you might include some direct quotes from Ghorsa himself that would do a lot to establish his character.)

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Luscinia View Post

    (As a bit of constructive criticism--the passive voice was killing me while reading this. If you might include some direct quotes from Ghorsa himself that would do a lot to establish his character.)
    That's an interesting point. I was trying to write it like a historian piecing together information from a multitude of sources and as such it is noticeably devoid of direct quotes.
    I did actually consider writing something in the first person, based upon documents perhaps written by Ghorsa himself, but moved away from that idea. But you've actually given me a great idea for developing this further...
    Bremerial God'thor
    ______________________________________

    Valinda accepts Aneris's embalmed puppy.
    Valinda blinks.
    Valinda frowns at an embalmed puppy.
    Aneris accepts Valinda's puppy pelt pantaloons.
    Speaking to Valinda, Aneris says, "Thanks again.... I'll be back with more dead puppies if I happen tah find yah around."
    Valinda says, "Nooo."
    Valinda exclaims, "Ive filled my dead puppy quota, sorry!"

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