Six year old transgender child?

[Candor]

From CNN: A Colorado school's ruling over a transgender child has sparked questions that could affect schools all over the country.

Which bathroom should be used by a child who identifies as a different gender from his or her body? Where's the line between accommodation and discrimination? At what point is a child old enough for that to even be an issue?

The case focuses on Coy Mathis, a 6-year-old born with a boy's body. She identifies as a girl, and her family is raising her as a girl.

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A *six* year old identifies as a member of the opposite sex?

I find it extremely difficult to believe that a child of that age has the mental maturity necessary to make such a decision. I do believe that we have a couple of parents who really, really, really wanted a girl. And why is this poor child's name being broadcast all over the country?

Divorce the parents from the child and a lot of problems get solved. Why even bother talking about bathrooms? If we must discuss a tough subject, let's talk about sterilizing the parents to prevent any future problems from these whackos.

[Gweneivia]

The parents have do have a biological girl already. The child identified with being a girl, didn't care for the sterotypical "boy" toys or clothing, and stated that she would prefer to stay home, if she had to dress as a boy, and talked about going to the doctor to get "fixed." This was not a decision the parents made overnight, or made for her, and I'm sure it was a very difficult one for them to make.

The parents report that since they've allowed her to dress and act as a female she's been much happier and "blossomed." My son is seven and knows himself better than many adults I know. I think as people get older they forget just how well children can know themselves, and be aware of their surroundings. The main arguments I've heard about this particular case is that "a six year old can't possibly know," Yet...you, a complete stranger to the situation, somehow know better?

The issue is, should she be able to use the girl's bathrooms. The answer is, yes.

[Tgo01]

I think in stories like this you usually find some hippie parents who want to raise their children as "gender neutral" so they can make their own choices. Which is fine in theory but the problem is the parents usually want to make some sort of statement. "We gave our boy the chance to make his own decisions about what kind of toys he wants to play with, what kind of clothes he wears and what kind of colors he likes." But of course if the boy happens to like traditional boy stuff then there is no statement to be made, a boy playing with boy toys and wearing boy clothes. So the parents kind of "nudge" the child towards the girl stuff. "Look at that! Our boy chose girl stuff all on his own! Can we have our names in the paper now?"

Maybe I'm just an insensitive asshole but I think until the person goes through the surgery they should use whatever bathroom matches their biological sex. In other words if you have a penis use the boys' room.

[Kastrel]

I find it extremely difficult to believe that a child of that age has the mental maturity necessary to make such a decision.

Divorce the parents from the child and a lot of problems get solved.

You would be surprised. One of the most consistant identifiers of trans people is that they often have "felt" this way since they could remember. Do they have the mental ability to grasp the concept of being transgender, and all of the difficulties that come with it? Oh no, definitely not. But many, if not most, trans people often report this feeling since the age of 3 or 4.

I won't say its impossible we have a pair of manipulating parents here. Why? Because I don't know for sure. However, if this child really feels this way, taking these surprisingly supportive parents out of the picture is doing a huge disservice to this kid. She got lucky . . . 9 out of 10 parents wouldn't be so facilitating. Anyone you replaced them with would almost certainly be worse.

As for the problems solved, they would be problems other people have with her. It won't help her one bit.

[Gweneivia]

I think in stories like this you usually find some hippie parents who want to raise their children as "gender neutral"

The father is an ex-marine. I suppose that doesn't exclude him from necessarily being a hippie but...well, yeah, it kind of does. She is one of a set of triplets, so not like she's just some experiment the parents are doing because they didn't get the gender child they wanted.

I think until the person goes through the surgery they should use whatever bathroom matches their biological sex.

So are you suggesting that the six year old get surgery, or that she be forced to live a gender she doesn't relate to until an age when she can afford and get the surgery? Both seem a little extreme to me. Contrary to how most men picture it, girls tend to be pretty circumspect in the restroom, keeping to their stalls, keeping themselves covered. I just think this is truly a case where it's making the adults a LOT more uncomfortable than it's making the kids.

[Tgo01]

The father is an ex-marine. I suppose that doesn't exclude him from necessarily being a hippie but...well, yeah, it kind of does.

I think you would be surprised about the backgrounds of some hippies.

So are you suggesting that the six year old get surgery, or that she be forced to live a gender she doesn't relate to until an age when she can afford and get the surgery? Both seem a little extreme to me. Contrary to how most men picture it, girls tend to be pretty circumspect in the restroom, keeping to their stalls, keeping themselves covered. I just think this is truly a case where it's making the adults a LOT more uncomfortable than it's making the kids.

Actually my first thought was for schools to have one of those family restrooms she could use, that way everyone is happy but I figured this might be seen as trying to segregate her from the rest of the school. Then again don't transgender people fight for their own dorms and such at colleges?

I don't have all the answers. No matter what you do you're going to piss some people off and make some people uncomfortable.

[Some Rogue]

Actually my first thought was for schools to have one of those family restrooms she could use, that way everyone is happy but I figured this might be seen as trying to segregate her from the rest of the school. Then again don't transgender people fight for their own dorms and such at colleges?

I don't have all the answers. No matter what you do you're going to piss some people off and make some people uncomfortable.

They offered to let the kid use the nurse's restroom since it was private. That wasn't good enough.

[Tgo01]

They offered to let the kid use the nurse's restroom since it was private. That wasn't good enough.

Now see this is where I think it's the parents trying to make a statement more than anything. How is that not a good compromise?

[Kastrel]

Now see this is where I think it's the parents trying to make a statement more than anything. How is that not a good compromise?

It is a good compromise. At some point though, integration is the goal, and "finding ways to get around the rules" isn't good enough anymore. Apparently, they have decided that is now. From reading the article, they pulled the kid out of school in fear of bullying, so that sucks.

On the other hand, I wouldn't call it making a statement so much as fighting for her rights. And who else is going to do it? She is six, she really can't fight the system herself.

EDIT: Apparently, the school let her use the girl's bathroom for the entire previous year, and then reversed their stance. So its not just fighting for some new option, but the school took away what they had previously allowed.

[Tgo01]

It is a good compromise. At some point though, integration is the goal, and "finding ways to get around the rules" isn't good enough anymore.

As I said though don't transgender people fight for gender neutral dorms at colleges? A transgender bathroom seems like a natural extension of this want.