Pete arrived just as Jesse started his set. There are a lot of his songs that are intensely emotional for me and I think most humans who have heard them. One is All My Love, which was inspired when a beautiful young YouTube singer named Christina Grimmie was murdered at the meet and greet before a small concert she was performing. This hit very close to home for them. When he said he was about to play a song off All My Love, my heart spiked, but it was a different song. Close call, no emotional issues here, ha ha ha, look at me applauding after the song with my human hands.
Then he played Snow.
Even in ideal circumstances it's extremely emotional for me. The shock factor here did not make it less so, and I started sobbing as quietly as I could. The first time. What I discovered was that if I could look into the guitar hole I still felt safe to express myself emotionally. Eye contact was totally out of the question, but there was a quiet little dark place. And then he played All My Love (song) - sobbing for the second time.
Not all of his set was weepy, and he was very charming with his stage banter, and then he was finished.
The lights came on and Pete and I fell deep in conversation. Then I thought going to the human's room would be a solid idea. A person came in behind me and I heard the crowd cheer through the briefly open door.
I made it back before the first song had really gotten going. She turned the lights on and she could see us, and we could see her seeing us. She started with some pleasant songs like Jesse and I thought I was wise to the game, like Jesse there were then going to be sadder songs. I was prepared.
Then she played This Far.
This pouch was full when I left Pete's apartment. If I had been able to see anything at all I would have been alarmed at how rapidly my resources were depleting.
This is my song. It is everything I love and everything I want to become. I have heard her sing it at least ten thousand times, and it has always, always brought me peace in the darkness. Hearing it as she plays it has a slightly different result; sobbing #3.
Then she played Birdsong, which happens to be played on keyboard, and which also happens to be an emotionally catastrophic story of loss, and I found myself thinking 'now here is a remarkable turn of events, with no guitar to look into I am having some relative difficulty getting these inside feelings to the outside, how droll' and I also found myself thinking 'he was so small'.
Then she played a duet with Jesse whose music video recorded them at her sister's wedding, playing the song they wrote about her for her to her, and she was pregnant, so what I'm getting at is it's a real tearjerker, but I was pretty much done crying.
Then she played For Now.
When she was held in Jakarta she overcame the whole world and found gratitude and hope. 'Maybe it's enough to know that we were here together.' Can you find a better epitaph? I've thought about it a lot and there aren't many.
I wasn't done crying.
I had resolved to give a standing ovation of one if necessary, since she had told us it was the last song.
I was sure I wouldn't reach standing, but nobody else did either so that makes us even.
We sat in the light.
.
Much later I realized she is doing the whole thing again tonight.
And Friday.
And for another two months.
E=mc^2 tells us energy is proportional to mass - the bigger the body, the more power. Looks like ol' Einstein better take that one back to the drawing board.
.
Thanks again to Ankly and Herb, and special thanks to Pete and his lovely gal and their moderately attractive pooch. That this happened to be one of the very few (only?) seated venues, and that Pete happened to offer to host me, and that I happened to get hooked into this community at all, and that I happened to come across Kina's music at all, and that all of this aligned precisely when it did is an almost suspiciously unlikely series of coincidences, and I'm so lucky to have benefited so greatly from them.
That's it, thanks for reading!
Hasta pronto, porque la vida no termina aqui...
America, stop pushing. I know what I'm doing.
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Originally Posted by Drayal
