A thread for Ashliana

[Ashliana]

"I always blame others for my toxic behavior. I'm the real victim here!" -Ashliana since 2008

"Other people are toxic, not me!" Parkbandit spat out, drool and chewing tobacco juice running down his third chin, as he posted in the 27th page of at least the third dedicated thread he'd made dedicated to Ashliana, spurned on by his latest ongoing meltdown at Trump's spectacular loss.

[Parkbandit]

"Other people are toxic, not me!" Parkbandit spat out, drool and chewing tobacco juice running down his third chin, as he posted in the 27th page of at least the third dedicated thread he'd made dedicated to Ashliana, spurned on by his latest ongoing meltdown at Trump's spectacular loss.

"I like to pretend to be a girl online.. because in real life I'm an obese, hairy gay guy with severe body odor issues. But that doesn't stop me from catfishing.. and one day, I'LL CATCH ME A REAL LIFE GUY that won't be disgusted with me."

[Ashliana]

"I like to pretend to be a girl online.. because in real life I'm an obese, hairy gay guy with severe body odor issues. But that doesn't stop me from catfishing.. and one day, I'LL CATCH ME A REAL LIFE GUY that won't be disgusted with me."

"Ashliana has repeatedly humiliated me in threads. In order to soothe my bruised ego at not being able to out-argue him, I like to make all sorts of things up, like:

• Ashliana pretends to be a girl to catfish guys! -- Whoopsie! Despite being challenged, I haven't been able to substantiate this claim.
• Ashliana is fat and hairy! -- Whoopsie! Ashliana offered to have us both use a neutral third party, like Tisket, to provide recent pictures with and see who's actually fat and hairy, and I wussed out. As a 65 year old man, that wasn't fair of Ashliana!
• Ashliana smells! -- Whoopsie! I forgot that I'm a 65 year old man and not a 6 year old."

It's okay, Parkbandit. Trump may have spectacularly lost the presidency and Congress -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Obama's second victory -- but you survived then and you'll survive now. Just hang in there a little longer.

[Parkbandit]

"Ashliana has repeatedly humiliated me in threads. Whoopsie! I mean I am the Retard Champion for the following reasons:

• Ashliana pretends to be a girl to catfish guys! IN my defense, I'm disgusting in real life but my online persona is almost normal!
• Ashliana is fat and hairy! Well, ASHLIANA isn't... because that's my online girl persona. But in real life, yes I am
• Ashliana smells! -- NO NO NO! ASHLIANA IS MY ONLINE PERSONA! I SMELL PRETTY WITH PERFUME!
• Ashliana is toxic! -- True.. but that is just my real life creeping into my online persona.
• Ashliana is just plain stupid -- True. BUT I TRY NOT TO BE RETARDED!

It's okay, Parkbandit. I realize I'm a fat, disgusting slob in real life.. but my ONLINE PERSONA ASHLIANA IS PRETTIER THAN YOU!!! I WIN!!!!!

[Ashliana]

Couldn't substantiate your catfishing claim? Check.

Couldn't defend your wussing out of picking a neutral third party to verify who's actually fat and hairy? Check.

Couldn't rationalize your use of "LOL U SMELL" despite being a 65 year old man? Check.

It's okay, Parkbandit. Trump may have spectacularly lost the presidency and Congress -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Obama's second victory -- but you survived then and you'll survive now. Just hang in there a little longer.

[Parkbandit]

Couldn't substantiate your catfishing claim? Check.

What other reason are you pretending to be a girl online? And please don't use the "Ashliana isn't a real name, so it can't be a girl's name!"

Bro.. if I had your life, I would pretend to be something 180 degree different too.

Couldn't defend your wussing out of picking a neutral third party to verify who's actually fat and hairy? Check.

Bro.. I'm not fat shaming you. You're over weight and hairy. Just embrace it. Don't be so sensitive.

Couldn't rationalize your use of "LOL U SMELL" despite being a 65 year old man? Check.

I'm 65 now? Weird. Also I don't KNOW you smell... but if I were to guess.. fat hairy guys typically don't smell all that great.

It's okay, Parkbandit. Trump may have spectacularly lost the presidency and Congress -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Obama's second victory -- but you survived then and you'll survive now. Just hang in there a little longer.

It's okay, Ashliana. Trump may have spectacularly made you butthurt for 4 years and even now after he's out of office -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Trump's 2016 victory when you didn't post for a long time because you were in bed crying REAL FUCKING TEARS because you wanted a woman, whom you attempt to represent online, to be a President-- but you "survived" then and you'll "survive" now. Just hang in there a little longer.


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[Ashliana]

What other reason are you pretending to be a girl online? And please don't use the "Ashliana isn't a real name, so it can't be a girl's name!"

Bro.. if I had your life, I would pretend to be something 180 degree different too.

Your premise is flawed. I have a post right at the beginning of my time here calling someone out for presuming I'm female, and I've never claimed to be female. Your entire argument is "You have a female sounding name, thus you're trying to catfish guys even though I can't cite an instance of that!"

In other words:

Bro.. I'm not fat shaming you. You're over weight and hairy. Just embrace it. Don't be so sensitive.

Out of the two of us, only one is willing to use a neutral third party to send recent pictures to and verify which one of us is "fat and hairy." That would be you. "But no FAIR, Ashliana! Your metabolism slows down in your late 50s!" Well, then, perhaps people in glass houses (with no evidence) shouldn't throw rocks.

I'm 65 now? Weird. Also I don't KNOW you smell... but if I were to guess.. fat hairy guys typically don't smell all that great.

Given that you wussed out of the challenge of verifying who's fat and hairy, and given your age, it's certainly like that you'd be one of them, and you'd know what your body type smells like. Projection?

It's okay, Ashliana. Trump may have spectacularly made you butthurt for 4 years and even now after he's out of office -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Trump's 2016 victory when you didn't post for a long time because you were in bed crying REAL FUCKING TEARS because you wanted a woman, whom you attempt to represent online, to be a President-- but you "survived" then and you'll "survive" now. Just hang in there a little longer.


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Parkbandit: "Not posting on the PC during any given period means you had a meltdown! HURRR!"



But It's okay, Parkbandit. Trump may have spectacularly lost the presidency and Congress -- causing you to lose your shit like your epic meltdown post-Obama's second victory -- but you survived then and you'll survive now. Just hang in there a little longer.

[Methais]

What other reason are you pretending to be a girl online? And please don't use the "Ashliana isn't a real name, so it can't be a girl's name!"

[Ashliana]

[Parkbandit]

That's an insult to all dogs everywhere.

Foreshame Methais.