Was looking for an old file to remember how to enter the rogue guild, and came across all kinds of old as fuck shit.

Here's one from Shattered. It may have been slightly edited.


[Wehnimer's, Exterior - 420]
The muted sounds of loud bartering from within Wehnimer's Landing, and the lonely calls of a pair of mated fenvaoks high up in the air vie for your attention as you march along the outer western edge of the town. You also see a town guard, a tall wooden archery tower and a reinforced large wooden gate.
Obvious paths: north, south

A giant tubgirl just arrived.

A giant tubgirl falls back and flips over while uttering a phrase of magic and you hear a loud rumbling coming from deep in her bowels.

A giant tubgirl gestures at you.
CS: +504 - TD: +440 + CvA: +25 + d100: +12 == +101
Warding failed!
Large fountains of pure liquid of yellowish orange and brown hues begin to erupt from a giant tubgirl's anus. Before long, the fountain grow more violent, reaching hungrily up towards your body. You fall to the ground as you are hit by the blast, and the poo engulfs you. A faint green steam rises in tendrils from your poo covered body.

It seems you have died, my friend. . .

A cloud of dense silvery fog suddenly appears. The fog quickly dissipates to reveal Goatse.

Goatse asks, "Need help?"

A giant tubgirl shrinks away from Goatse in fear.

A giant tubgirl forcibly erupts her anus again, propelling herself south.

Lemon's group just arrived.

You say, "Yes please."

Goatse tried to hold your hand, but your group status is closed.

Lemon exclaims, "Party time!"

Goatse shakes his head.

Goatse says, "Open your group."

Goatse tried to hold your hand, but your group status is closed.

Lemon's group just went west.

Goatse tried to hold your hand, but your group status is closed.

Goatse tried to hold your hand, but your group status is closed.

Goatse grumbles.

Goatse turns around and bends over your corpse. Before you can even begin to wonder what he's doing, Goatse reaches behind himself and places his fingertips on the sides of his anus and stretches it to gaping proportions you previously thought impossible, even in Tayre's bedroom. Goatse begins to squat down, as if to sit on you. Before you know it, you are completely enveloped in Goatse's gaping anus.

Goatse exclaims, "Let's go...atse!"

Your surroundings blur for a moment. . .

[Town Square Central - 228]
This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townsfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see the Felicitii disk, the Rizzer disk, the bucket-shaped Gacks disk, the Scarswyrth disk, the Krizualt disk, a wary will-o-wisp spirit that is flying around, the icy blue Heidolph disk, a long-winged falcon, a blue-eyed white cat, some stone benches with some stuff on it and an herbal remedy donation bin.
Also here: Goatse
Obvious paths: northeast, east, southeast, southwest, west, northwest

Goatse asks, "Any healers?"

You suddenly detect a faint stench, like that of spoiled meat.

Emislity just arrived.

>facepalm

You can't do that while dead.

>quit

Connection to the game has been dropped.

The end.

/rollcredits