Things that made you laugh today (Political Version)

[Androidpk]

Literally?

Literally literally. Hannity and Tucker empty Trump's bedpan every morning and chow down.

[Taernath]

Literally literally. Hannity and Tucker empty Trump's bedpan every morning and chow down.

@wrathbringer

[Wrathbringer]

@wrathbringer

why? Cause I eat shit too? or, what?

[Methais]

[Taernath]

why? Cause I eat shit too? or, what?

I tag you for all things poo related.

[Androidpk]

–Mr. President, thank you for meeting with us to discuss the dismissal of Director Comey. I'm sure you're eager to g-


–Look, Bob--I can call you 'Bob', right? Alright, good. I like the name, by the way. Very good name. Very good. Me, I don't like the name 'Don' much, but on you, I like the, ah--the shortness of it. On you.


–Thank you Mr. President. I'd like to ask you when it was that you decided that dismiss-


–And, just so we're clear, and on the record, and just so you, you understand. This Russia hoax, this fake news story about Trump and Russia, total garbage. Total hoax, not true just fake, very fake media stories. That's what they do, they just, they just make up a story without any, any proof of the, the--look, they said 'Trump can't win in Michigan, he can't win in Pennsylvania, he's got no path to 270. Hillary this, Hillary that, she is next up, for the office of the President'--when they said that, totally made-up stuff. Just so we're clear, this whole Russia thing is not, ah, not going anywhere, because it's nothing. Okay?


–With all due respect, Mr. President, I think that our investigation will decide where the evidence lea-


–Bob, by the way just so you know, the whole golf course thing--beautiful links, beautiful weather, the caddies are tremendously, they're the best at what they do, the service--it's remarkable, did you know? I know you know that you know and I know that--I can, you know, we can make the charges, ah, refunded to you. I know that the charges you wanted to, ah, get back were, there was an issue with the refund. But we can make it so that you get it back, you know, since--since, I mean if we can see our way to, to letting this Russia story, sort of, you know....die. Go dead. Away. Gone.


–Mr. President are you trying to bribe me to end the investigation of your campaign's collusion with Russia by offering to refund some....golf club fees?


–Yes, ah, I mean no. No, no, no. I mean, no bribe, who said...who had a....no bribe, it wasn't discussed. We just, it's like, you're a smart guy, I'm a smart guy, we both can see that this Russia thing is fake...fake news and I figured, you figured that....that it could resolve itself and also at the same time you could, ah, could get back the money. That you had. Paid.


–I....see. Mr. President, I ask you again. When did you think that it was a prudent decision to fire Comey, and why did you think that?


–Ah. Well, I would, I would like to, in such a case as, as the case may be, I would like to...please the, fourth, the fifth Commandments. They're all good ones, all good....rights. I, ah. I please them all, please. Right now. Ahem. Thanks, you're great. Tremendoush. The....besht...good guy. Bob. Uh, shee you on the....on the links. Goodbye. Bye. Thanksh. Great. Good.

[Wrathbringer]

I tag you for all things poo related.

Oh... Ok.

[Methais]

–Mr. President, thank you for meeting with us to discuss the dismissal of Director Comey. I'm sure you're eager to g-


–Look, Bob--I can call you 'Bob', right? Alright, good. I like the name, by the way. Very good name. Very good. Me, I don't like the name 'Don' much, but on you, I like the, ah--the shortness of it. On you.


–Thank you Mr. President. I'd like to ask you when it was that you decided that dismiss-


–And, just so we're clear, and on the record, and just so you, you understand. This Russia hoax, this fake news story about Trump and Russia, total garbage. Total hoax, not true just fake, very fake media stories. That's what they do, they just, they just make up a story without any, any proof of the, the--look, they said 'Trump can't win in Michigan, he can't win in Pennsylvania, he's got no path to 270. Hillary this, Hillary that, she is next up, for the office of the President'--when they said that, totally made-up stuff. Just so we're clear, this whole Russia thing is not, ah, not going anywhere, because it's nothing. Okay?


–With all due respect, Mr. President, I think that our investigation will decide where the evidence lea-


–Bob, by the way just so you know, the whole golf course thing--beautiful links, beautiful weather, the caddies are tremendously, they're the best at what they do, the service--it's remarkable, did you know? I know you know that you know and I know that--I can, you know, we can make the charges, ah, refunded to you. I know that the charges you wanted to, ah, get back were, there was an issue with the refund. But we can make it so that you get it back, you know, since--since, I mean if we can see our way to, to letting this Russia story, sort of, you know....die. Go dead. Away. Gone.


–Mr. President are you trying to bribe me to end the investigation of your campaign's collusion with Russia by offering to refund some....golf club fees?


–Yes, ah, I mean no. No, no, no. I mean, no bribe, who said...who had a....no bribe, it wasn't discussed. We just, it's like, you're a smart guy, I'm a smart guy, we both can see that this Russia thing is fake...fake news and I figured, you figured that....that it could resolve itself and also at the same time you could, ah, could get back the money. That you had. Paid.


–I....see. Mr. President, I ask you again. When did you think that it was a prudent decision to fire Comey, and why did you think that?


–Ah. Well, I would, I would like to, in such a case as, as the case may be, I would like to...please the, fourth, the fifth Commandments. They're all good ones, all good....rights. I, ah. I please them all, please. Right now. Ahem. Thanks, you're great. Tremendoush. The....besht...good guy. Bob. Uh, shee you on the....on the links. Goodbye. Bye. Thanksh. Great. Good.

tldr

[Wrathbringer]

tldr

Same here, only trdr. Too retarded, didn't read.

[Taernath]

–Ah. Well, I would, I would like to, in such a case as, as the case may be, I would like to...please the, fourth, the fifth Commandments. They're all good ones, all good....rights. I, ah. I please them all, please. Right now. Ahem. Thanks, you're great. Tremendoush. The....besht...good guy. Bob. Uh, shee you on the....on the links. Goodbye. Bye. Thanksh. Great. Good.

Why is he slurring at the end? Is he supposed to be drunk? Trump's a teetotaler.