Things that made you laugh today (Political Version)

[Methais]

This has nothing to do with what I just said.

But sure, I'll explain why even your completely irrelevant comment is completely incorrect:
Not everyone who commits a crime is convicted.
Not everyone who is convicted of a crime committed it.
Thus, conviction is neither necessary nor sufficient for demonstrating a crime occurred.

hthAh, so you're siding with Whoopi Goldberg vis a vis Roman Polanski, then. Bold strategy, Cotton.

People on the left, at least the ones like you and Whoopi, change their definition of "sexual assault" (or in her case, rape vs. "rape rape" to have her friend's back) almost weekly to fit their agenda. What you consider not sexual assault today could be sexual assault next week depending on what Trump says or some other equally stupid reason that has no basis in reality.

Let's get back to what you're dodging though...

I have managed to have sexual contact without breaking any laws, yes.

Was this with a woman? Because you "forgot" to specify who this sexual contact was with. And since we're talking about women here, it's a relevant question.

And sucking on your mom's boob as an infant doesn't count. Neither does touching her vag as you were being born.

[Gelston]

This has nothing to do with what I just said.

But sure, I'll explain why even your completely irrelevant comment is completely incorrect:
Not everyone who commits a crime is convicted.
Not everyone who is convicted of a crime committed it.
Thus, conviction is neither necessary nor sufficient for demonstrating a crime occurred.

hthAh, so you're siding with Whoopi Goldberg vis a vis Roman Polanski, then. Bold strategy, Cotton.

According to the justice system of this nation, you are innocent until proven guilty. If he has never been convicted, he has never committed sexual assault in the eyes of the law. What ever happened to "this is a nation of laws"? Does that only fit when you want it to?

[subzero]

Criminal Justice College Professor Says He’s Antifa, Teaches ‘Future Dead Cops’

Posting it in the laugh thread because I didn't know Latrin had a sister.

Please. You know it identifies as a woman.

Bold strategy, Cotton.

Listen, just because you didn't finish that up with "picker" doesn't mean we aren't on to you, Boy!

[Tenlaar]

Judging by the picture on the right, he might identify as Prince.

[subzero]

Judging by the picture on the right, he might identify as Prince.

I noticed that similarity meself.

[Latrinsorm]

People on the left, at least the ones like you and Whoopi, change their definition of "sexual assault" (or in her case, rape vs. "rape rape" to have her friend's back) almost weekly to fit their agenda. What you consider not sexual assault today could be sexual assault next week depending on what Trump says or some other equally stupid reason that has no basis in reality.

Except what I cited was New York state law. It's not "my" definition. It's the definition. You can keep crying about it, I suppose, but the law is still the law. Your call.

According to the justice system of this nation, you are innocent until proven guilty. If he has never been convicted, he has never committed sexual assault in the eyes of the law. What ever happened to "this is a nation of laws"? Does that only fit when you want it to?

Are you ready for this? This is going to blow your mind, so I want to make sure you're ready. Definitely sit down. Probably sober up a little if you've been drinking. Seriously, this is going to change everything for you.

If I'm in a car with someone and they drive 65 in a 55, I can say they're speeding.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Even though they're innocent until proven guilty in a court of law in the eyes of the law!
Even though they've never been tried, let alone convicted!
Even though I'm sorry, I thought this was America!
Even though this is a nation of laws!

I'm pretty amazing, I know. I didn't ask for this power. Having a rudimentary understanding of the English language was frankly forced upon me. But I gotta be honest, it is helpful more often than not.

[Gelston]

Except what I cited was New York state law. It's not "my" definition. It's the definition. You can keep crying about it, I suppose, but the law is still the law. Your call.Are you ready for this? This is going to blow your mind, so I want to make sure you're ready. Definitely sit down. Probably sober up a little if you've been drinking. Seriously, this is going to change everything for you.

If I'm in a car with someone and they drive 65 in a 55, I can say they're speeding.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Even though they're innocent until proven guilty in a court of law in the eyes of the law!
Even though they've never been tried, let alone convicted!
Even though I'm sorry, I thought this was America!
Even though this is a nation of laws!

I'm pretty amazing, I know. I didn't ask for this power. Having a rudimentary understanding of the English language was frankly forced upon me. But I gotta be honest, it is helpful more often than not.

You're now comparing speeding to sexual assault.

[Methais]

Except what I cited was New York state law. It's not "my" definition. It's the definition.

Link? Because it's not in this thread at least from today.

If I'm in a car with someone and they drive 65 in a 55, I can say they're speeding.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Even though they're innocent until proven guilty in a court of law in the eyes of the law!
Even though they've never been tried, let alone convicted!
Even though I'm sorry, I thought this was America!
Even though this is a nation of laws!

I'm pretty amazing, I know. I didn't ask for this power. Having a rudimentary understanding of the English language was frankly forced upon me. But I gotta be honest, it is helpful more often than not.

Who was the person you claim that you managed to have sexual contact with without breaking any laws that you keep avoiding giving any details on? Not their name or any of that shit.

It was a dude wasn't it?

[Latrinsorm]

You're now comparing speeding to sexual assault.

Crimes are comparable to crimes insofar as they are crimes, yes. That's why they're both called "crimes".

Link? Because it's not in this thread at least from today.

Sure, here you go.

Who was the person you claim that you managed to have sexual contact with without breaking any laws that you keep avoiding giving any details on? Not their name or any of that shit.

So I gotta say, when you insisted my universal surveillance scheme was really about watching people poop, I thought that would be the oddest insistence you ever made on me. Sometimes I'm wrong! This is one of those times.

[Wrathbringer]

So I gotta say, when you insisted my universal surveillance scheme was really about watching people poop