Things that made you Facepalm today (Political Version)

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Originally Posted by Seran

Except your analogy isn't even remotely accurate. Let us say that Parkbandit was accused of and later indicted for submitting $5 million dollars in false medicare reimbursement claims, which was exposed as his doctor refused to sign off on the fraudulent claims as being unlawful. His doctor was then named as a testifying witness in the indictment, Parkbandit later learns. If he then goes on a social media blitz threatening, harassing, or intimidating that witness in violation of his signed released agreement not to do so, he should be held accountable for felony witness intimidation.

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TLDR

Learn to story tell.

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Originally Posted by Seran

Except your analogy isn't even remotely accurate. Let us say that Parkbandit was accused of and later indicted for submitting $5 million dollars in false medicare reimbursement claims, which was exposed as his doctor refused to sign off on the fraudulent claims as being unlawful. His doctor was then named as a testifying witness in the indictment, Parkbandit later learns. If he then goes on a social media blitz threatening, harassing, or intimidating that witness in violation of his signed released agreement not to do so, he should be held accountable for felony witness intimidation.

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The problem with that analogy is Parkbandit didn’t steal shit. Fuck that bitch-ass lying doctor. His doctor deserves the same amount of public ridicule as Kaetlyn Faber when she falsely accused Kobe Bryant of rape.

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Originally Posted by Methais

The males grow tusks (right is a female, 3rd pig not pictured), but I have them cut once they get long enough because they get all sharp and pokey.

But if I had any photoshop skills, I'd turn the one on the left into Zuul piggy.



They go outside to take dumps and hang out in the yard and all that just like dogs. They used to use the dog door to go in and out, but they got too big for it, so I'm working on dealing with that next.

They mostly act like dogs, but dogs are still cooler. Pigs don't play a whole lot, they mostly just eat and sleep and act like drama queens. Especially the female.

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That’s badass.

Is it true pigs have the equivalent intelligence of a 2 year old human? Are they smarter than Seran?

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Originally Posted by Neveragain

This is 100% accurate.

I used to spray beans for a farmer during the summer. Once during a lunch break one of his piglets got its head stuck in some fencing, it took half the day to finally get the pig free. The sound of a stuck pig is literally horrifying.

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A few times a year some hoof trimmers come by to trim their hooves and tusks and all that, and the way it's done is you have to grab them by their legs and flip them over on their back, and they go nuts through pretty much all of it, as if they're being gutted or something. Nothing is actually hurting them, they just go nuts in almost situation that wasn't their idea. Even picking them up when they were small enough to pick up, they'd usually go nuts, which most pigs will. Pigs tend to freak out if their feet aren't touching the ground unless it was their idea, i.e. lying down to take a nap.

It literally sounds like a slaughterhouse while their hooves are being trimmed. Thankfully it only takes a few minutes and then they're fine after. The brown one is usually mad at everyone for the rest of the day and won't come back inside, but once that blows over he's fine. Drama queens.

They do get a little more chilled out with it each time though (the 3rd pig doesn't even seem bothered by it anymore), so it's not nearly as bad as it was the first couple times, but the sound is still horrifying as fuck, especially the first time since I had no idea what to expect. I don't see how anyone can work in a slaughterhouse and not want to kill themselves every day, at least the ones that treat their animals like shit for most/all of their lives, which unfortunately are probably most slaughterhouses.

TLDR: Yes.

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Originally Posted by Seran

Except your analogy isn't even remotely accurate. Let us say that Parkbandit was accused of and later indicted for submitting $5 million dollars in false medicare reimbursement claims, which was exposed as his doctor refused to sign off on the fraudulent claims as being unlawful. His doctor was then named as a testifying witness in the indictment, Parkbandit later learns. If he then goes on a social media blitz threatening, harassing, or intimidating that witness in violation of his signed released agreement not to do so, he should be held accountable for felony witness intimidation.

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It's far likelier that Seran the Retard Champion would steal before Parkbandit as Parkbandit has plenty of money from working for the past 40 years.. where Seran lives welfare to welfare check.

Go get a job, you greasy welfare retard.

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Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

That’s badass.

Is it true pigs have the equivalent intelligence of a 2 year old human? Are they smarter than Seran?

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It would be a far shorter list to name things that aren't as smart as Seran.

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Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

That’s badass.

Is it true pigs have the equivalent intelligence of a 2 year old human?

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Something like that. I think the "official" number is 3. But yeah, toddler age stuff.

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Are they smarter than Seran?

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Yes.

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Originally Posted by Methais

A few times a year some hoof trimmers come by to trim their hooves and tusks and all that, and the way it's done is you have to grab them by their legs and flip them over on their back, and they go nuts through pretty much all of it, as if they're being gutted or something. Nothing is actually hurting them, they just go nuts in almost situation that wasn't their idea. Even picking them up when they were small enough to pick up, they'd usually go nuts, which most pigs will. Pigs tend to freak out if their feet aren't touching the ground unless it was their idea, i.e. lying down to take a nap.

It literally sounds like a slaughterhouse while their hooves are being trimmed. Thankfully it only takes a few minutes and then they're fine after. The brown one is usually mad at everyone for the rest of the day and won't come back inside, but once that blows over he's fine. Drama queens.

They do get a little more chilled out with it each time though (the 3rd pig doesn't even seem bothered by it anymore), so it's not nearly as bad as it was the first couple times, but the sound is still horrifying as fuck, especially the first time since I had no idea what to expect. I don't see how anyone can work in a slaughterhouse and not want to kill themselves every day, at least the ones that treat their animals like shit for most/all of their lives, which unfortunately are probably most slaughterhouses.

TLDR: Yes.

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I'm pretty sure had us kids not been there the farmer probably would have just killed the little piggy instead of spending half the day fighting with it. I think he was more amused by us kids trying to handle the situation.

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Originally Posted by Neveragain

A more accurate story would be:

Let's imagine someone at work spent 4 years making up a story about Methais stealing money and it turned out it was a giant fucking lie. Then that person starts accusing Methais of committing another crime and Methais says "Whoever comes after me I'm coming after you"

Much more accurate than your stupid imagination story.

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Methais has been stealing your money, too? I fucking knew it!

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Originally Posted by drumpel

Methais has been stealing your money, too? I fucking knew it!

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https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/...1NTQ@._V1_.jpg

I'm pretty sure he's the one that's been eating peoples food from the company fridge.