Thread for Things That Made You Frown Today

got home from body barre class to email from boss to come in early :(

I'm dogsitting for a client for a couple of weeks. When my client dropped off the dog at work, he told me - in manly old Republican white guy tears - that they're going to have to give up this dog soon. He's got Parkinson's and his wife has both hips replaced. The dog has already tripped her once and dislocated one of those fake hips, prompting another surgery to replace both hips AGAIN. He's just too much for them to handle. They offered him to me.

I really want to help them and I love the dog. I've been working with him at least once a month for almost a year now. He's a Bichon Frise, a breed I could easily use for competition. Their fur is so.. sculptural. He's got some conformation faults but nothing I can't disguise with some creative scissoring. Which doesn't mean what you think it means. My dogs tolerate him just fine and he LOVES Sherwin (who doesn't?!) But.. damnit. I already have three dogs! Shit's getting expensive between food and medication and boarding when we're away.

Blargh. Hard choice.

I grew up with a bichon and while I know it wasn't her fault, that poor dog had so many terrible and disgusting habits it put me off the breed completely. But four dogs is kind of rough. =(

Dont the judges give a TSA patdown to the fluffy dogs to confirm confirmation? I watch the Westminster dog show every year so I'm an expert in these things.

Heh, I wouldn't be putting him in the show ring. He's neutered for one thing. Not allowed! What I meant by competition is grooming competition. How well I disguise his flaws (he's got cow hocks, less than desirable rear angulation and his neck could stand to be a little longer) to make him appear as near to perfect breed standard is what matters.

But yeah, grooming tricks are of use in the show ring as well. For instance, the poodle standard calls for almond-shaped eyes. The miniature and toy are prone to rounder bug eyes. When a groomer gets one of those, they have to bind the topknot in such a way that it pulls the corners of the eyes up slightly. Lots of judges don't catch it. What's that? Your Bichon's beautiful breed standard black nose went a little brownish over the winter? Why, we have black nose paint we can use for the show! Did your Afghan Hound rub a bald spot on its side? No problem. We've got doggy wigs and weaves to hide that from the judge! Dyed to match your dog's fur pattern and color! Seriously. Shit's crazy.

Geez. Those dogs dont naturally look like that? Next you'll be telling me wrestling is fake.

Kroger instant coffee is the most disgusting thing I have ever tried to drink. It smells and tastes like poop. I ran out of Nescafé ic and this is getting trashed.

If anyone can handle four dogs, it's you Dex.

I was driving back from sonic, had to hit the brakes, all the fries except one torpedoed out of the bag onto the floor.

That's what you get for getting fries, and not tots. Tots would've remained in the bag out of solidarity to your other food.