Thread for Things That Made You Frown Today

It's possible that photo isn't current and I'm too lazy to google image search it but, she still looks like she did in The Fog. Not bad for someone who is almost 70.

just saw the road closure map for tomorrow. I'm going to have a really hard time getting to work.

It's tough being a single / divorced parent. Looking for reassurance or honest feedback from someone that has kids.

So the past year, things have been going real smooth with my ex-wife and I. It's been nice - no fighting, safe distance, mutual respect.

She starts a new job this year as a teacher in a suburban school district. A couple weeks before school started, she called me to let me know and ask my opinion about our kids walking home (her house is across the residential street from the school) and staying there alone for up to an hour a few days of the week. They are 9 & 10 and started the 4th grade.

I told her I didnt like that idea and would like to explore other options. I suggested they go home with a friend and their parent and even offered to pay for the after school program. I think they are too young to be left unsupervised. She kept pushing that she wants to give them that sense of responsibility.

After politely giving her every opportunity, alternative suggestions, and trying to let her come to her own conclusion in the right decision...she wouldn't do it. I feel this is a safety concern, so in the end I told her I would take legal action and have a bring it to a mediator if she wouldn't change (defined in our orders when we have a dispute beyond the scope of our final orders). She caved, but now she is flaming pissed at me and things are tense.

I stand by my decision, but I wish there was another way without having to come to that. And my kids think I'm a strict a-hole (figuratively) in this situation, but I hope they understand one day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

It's tough being a single / divorced parent. Looking for reassurance or honest feedback from someone that has kids.

So the past year, things have been going real smooth with my ex-wife and I. It's been nice - no fighting, safe distance, mutual respect.

She starts a new job this year as a teacher in a suburban school district. A couple weeks before school started, she called me to let me know and ask my opinion about our kids walking home (her house is across the residential street from the school) and staying there alone for up to an hour a few days of the week. They are 9 & 10 and started the 4th grade.

I told her I didnt like that idea and would like to explore other options. I suggested they go home with a friend and their parent and even offered to pay for the after school program. I think they are too young to be left unsupervised. She kept pushing that she wants to give them that sense of responsibility.

After politely giving her every opportunity, alternative suggestions, and trying to let her come to her own conclusion in the right decision...she wouldn't do it. I feel this is a safety concern, so in the end I told her I would take legal action and have a bring it to a mediator if she wouldn't change (defined in our orders when we have a dispute beyond the scope of our final orders). She caved, but now she is flaming pissed at me and things are tense.

I stand by my decision, but I wish there was another way without having to come to that. And my kids think I'm a strict a-hole (figuratively) in this situation, but I hope they understand one day.

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I agree with your decision. Nine and ten years old is too young for children to be left alone on a continual basis. I appreciate wanting to give children a sense of responsibility, but I would personally wait until they were at least 12 years old before allowing the scenario you described.

Good luck.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

It's tough being a single / divorced parent. Looking for reassurance or honest feedback from someone that has kids.

So the past year, things have been going real smooth with my ex-wife and I. It's been nice - no fighting, safe distance, mutual respect.

She starts a new job this year as a teacher in a suburban school district. A couple weeks before school started, she called me to let me know and ask my opinion about our kids walking home (her house is across the residential street from the school) and staying there alone for up to an hour a few days of the week. They are 9 & 10 and started the 4th grade.

I told her I didnt like that idea and would like to explore other options. I suggested they go home with a friend and their parent and even offered to pay for the after school program. I think they are too young to be left unsupervised. She kept pushing that she wants to give them that sense of responsibility.

After politely giving her every opportunity, alternative suggestions, and trying to let her come to her own conclusion in the right decision...she wouldn't do it. I feel this is a safety concern, so in the end I told her I would take legal action and have a bring it to a mediator if she wouldn't change (defined in our orders when we have a dispute beyond the scope of our final orders). She caved, but now she is flaming pissed at me and things are tense.

I stand by my decision, but I wish there was another way without having to come to that. And my kids think I'm a strict a-hole (figuratively) in this situation, but I hope they understand one day.

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No you did the right thing. It's not right for children to be alone at that age, even if its "only" an hour

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

It's tough being a single / divorced parent. Looking for reassurance or honest feedback from someone that has kids.

So the past year, things have been going real smooth with my ex-wife and I. It's been nice - no fighting, safe distance, mutual respect.

She starts a new job this year as a teacher in a suburban school district. A couple weeks before school started, she called me to let me know and ask my opinion about our kids walking home (her house is across the residential street from the school) and staying there alone for up to an hour a few days of the week. They are 9 & 10 and started the 4th grade.

I told her I didnt like that idea and would like to explore other options. I suggested they go home with a friend and their parent and even offered to pay for the after school program. I think they are too young to be left unsupervised. She kept pushing that she wants to give them that sense of responsibility.

After politely giving her every opportunity, alternative suggestions, and trying to let her come to her own conclusion in the right decision...she wouldn't do it. I feel this is a safety concern, so in the end I told her I would take legal action and have a bring it to a mediator if she wouldn't change (defined in our orders when we have a dispute beyond the scope of our final orders). She caved, but now she is flaming pissed at me and things are tense.

I stand by my decision, but I wish there was another way without having to come to that. And my kids think I'm a strict a-hole (figuratively) in this situation, but I hope they understand one day.

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You definitely did the right thing. I have children that age and would not let them go home alone, 9 & 10 is too young, even if they are mature. There are too many "what ifs" that can arise, even in good neighborhoods. I am not sure if your kids are boys or girls and what their interests are but the YMCA usually has options for after school care, as well as some Taekwondo (sp?) centers.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Suppressed Poet

It's tough being a single / divorced parent. Looking for reassurance or honest feedback from someone that has kids.

So the past year, things have been going real smooth with my ex-wife and I. It's been nice - no fighting, safe distance, mutual respect.

She starts a new job this year as a teacher in a suburban school district. A couple weeks before school started, she called me to let me know and ask my opinion about our kids walking home (her house is across the residential street from the school) and staying there alone for up to an hour a few days of the week. They are 9 & 10 and started the 4th grade.

I told her I didnt like that idea and would like to explore other options. I suggested they go home with a friend and their parent and even offered to pay for the after school program. I think they are too young to be left unsupervised. She kept pushing that she wants to give them that sense of responsibility.

After politely giving her every opportunity, alternative suggestions, and trying to let her come to her own conclusion in the right decision...she wouldn't do it. I feel this is a safety concern, so in the end I told her I would take legal action and have a bring it to a mediator if she wouldn't change (defined in our orders when we have a dispute beyond the scope of our final orders). She caved, but now she is flaming pissed at me and things are tense.

I stand by my decision, but I wish there was another way without having to come to that. And my kids think I'm a strict a-hole (figuratively) in this situation, but I hope they understand one day.

---

Speaking as the adult self of a child left alone for long periods of time at a young age, I have to say you're making the right decision here.

Yeah that was me too - bit of a latch key kid myself. It's doable but never a good option and I don't want that for them.

Luckily she gave in, reluctant as hell, and we did the after school program. Thanks for the feedback - just feels like I have second guess my sanity sometimes because she is ultra liberal anything goes with the kids and Im the "ultra strict dad". Well it's my role to look out for their safety and sometimes you have to choose being the bad guy I guess. Hopefully she gets it and things will smooth over.

You know what they say, opposites attract!

Well you know, I bet if you thought back to it you are much different than that person you were freshman year of college. Had no business having kids that young (Just so happens there is no condom size past tripple xxxl bazooka magnum southern warcannon and thats a size too small) but absolutely changed me for the better and they are my greatest joy in life. They deserve the best of everything and that is my primary purpose of existence to try my best to give that to them.

My ex is a good person, different than me and can be /naieve, but not a terrible mom by any means. We are just way different past the attraction part, and I'm sure our coparenting struggles are common in a split family environment.