Thread for Things That Made You Frown Today

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Originally Posted by Candor

How is a church going to know what percentage of income someone is actually donating? Do they demand to see paystubs or tax returns?

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Tax returns are part of the documentation for a certain "enlightened" level in that church.

It's fucking nuts.

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Originally Posted by Ker_Thwap

Chiropractors are all about you coming back regularly and dropping off your money. If you just want an expensive back massage, go for it. I don't think I've told my chiropractor story lately, so suck it if you've heard it before...

I'm interviewing this chiropractor who's behind on his taxes, he takes a phone call... it went like this.

"You have cold? Yeah, come on in, we can make an adjustment and have you feeling better in a week."

I gawked, he smirked, it was a special moment.

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To be fair, not all of them are like that. My wife has back issues every couple of years.. she used to be miserable for a couple of weeks until it went away.. now she will go see a chiropractor and it's gone in 2 days.

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Originally Posted by Ker_Thwap

Chiropractors are all about you coming back regularly and dropping off your money. If you just want an expensive back massage, go for it. I don't think I've told my chiropractor story lately, so suck it if you've heard it before...

I'm interviewing this chiropractor who's behind on his taxes, he takes a phone call... it went like this.

"You have cold? Yeah, come on in, we can make an adjustment and have you feeling better in a week."

I gawked, he smirked, it was a special moment.

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This is not true of all chiropractors. Sure, some are charlatans who will claim that adjustments can cure cancer and the common cold. Others legitimately want to help people with - GASP! - back and neck issues. My mother was one and I've gone to them on and off for years, so you'd think I am biased in their favor ... except I am also a defense attorney and they like to write reports that say things like, "Mrs. Smith needs to come see me three times per week for the rest of her life in order to be pain free." And then I laugh and tell them to go fuck themselves.

I love chiropractors. I do a lot of bending and lifting of 50 lb+ dogs and struggling with those same dogs. I have a tendency to hunch down to the dog rather than bringing them up to my level. My back takes a beating, along with the rest of my body, until I feel crippled by the end of the day sometimes. I hate getting massages. I'm not touchy feely at all and I don't like prolonged rubdowns from complete strangers. Just makes me tense up more. But at the chiropractor's.. a couple of cracks, some time on the decompression machine and I feel better instantly.

In fact... I'm going to schedule an appointment.

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Originally Posted by DCSL

I'm not touchy feely at all and I don't like prolonged rubdowns from complete strangers

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Yes, we all saw what you did to poor Jay.

He shouldn't have kept trying to show me "his alters".

I will be sure to not even get close to touching you when we hang out. You are dangerous.

Playing in codeblocks made me burn my breakfast pizza. Frown.

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Originally Posted by DCSL

I have a tendency to hunch down to do it doggystyle rather than bringing them up to my level. My back takes a beating, along with the rest of my body, until I feel crippled by the end of the day sometimes.

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Try stretching first!

This morning while in line at the Pharmacy I heard my three year old behind me say "Why you smell me, lady?". I turned around to find that the lady in line behind us had leaned over and sniffed my toddlers hair. WTF? She said she just liked the way little kids smell?? First off, it's not cool to smell random strange children, it's more than a little creepy. Secondly, who likes the way toddlers smell? Babies, I can understand maybe but toddlers? Even freshly bathed my 3 year old seems to have a natural odor of Kraft singles farts, sweaty kid and juicy juice.