SpunGirl
10-08-2004, 12:05 AM
How to let him go?
That is the question Naessi Ranay faces as she sits on the highest cliff, perched precariously close to the edge, overlooking the Cascade of Tears.
Someday, somehow - that's what she always thought. She thought that something would bring him back to her, after all the hurt, sharp words, and lies had faded like the mist from the falls. Maybe all the refuse could be cleared away and what would remain would be as precious as it had always been - their love.
The first time she met him, she was a young girl of not quite seventeen. It had been four years since her mother abandoned her to the pack of dogs she called friends and disappeared from her life forever. Since then, she had viewed all people with extreme caution. She had forged a tentative friendship with Nystiral, but he was becoming more and more aggressive by the day and Naessi felt herself shrinking from his onslaught.
This young rogue, so handsome - he opened her treasure quickly and accepted the tip with a dashing smile. The next time they met, by happenstance it would seem, would be on the roads of Icemule Trace. He greeted her warmly, remembering her name, and promptly handed her sixty-five silvers.
"You dropped these," he said. "I found them for you."
Naessi's petite form shakes with sobs as she huddles overlooking the waterfall, remembering those innocent beginnings. Her hands clench into fists, and she tears furiously at tufts of grass on the cliff's edge and then allows them to float away on the breeze. If only letting these memories go was that easy...
Naessi had been charmed at this young man's wit. Never invasive or overt with her, she soon found herself longing for the intimate touch of his lips on hers. Her wish was soon granted and with the first kiss she began a rapid and headlong fall into the deepest pit she ever knew existed.
She would sit by and watch him at his trade while taking rests from her hunting adventures. He worried at her refusal to pick a more sturdy armor than robes, and laughed good-naturedly as her collections of clothing grew. Her every quirk seemed to enchant him more, and soon enough she was sharing all of herself with this man. Body, soul, and even her darkest secrets - for she had many for one so young.
Before she could reveal the deepest secret of all, their constant contact was swiftly cut off. A series of disturbing events had rocked the small town of Icemule Trace. Suddenly, her young man vanished for days at a time, and would refuse to speak of his whereabouts when he did return. Naessi was satisified with his explanation that he was involved in something secret and showed him only her concern for his safety.
It was during this time that she found her way back to the company of Nystiral, who had become somewhat more disciplined and somber since she had last spent time with him. She asked after his change in behavior and he began to tutor her in the ways of Queen Eorgina, greatest of the arkati. Along with Nystiral's tutelage came that of Sheka, a formidable elf (if not in size than in might) who guided Naessi swiftly on the path towards Eorgina's altar.
Naessi's lover noticed these changes in her, even though he did not comment on them. Their worlds slowly expanded - he with his secret activities, she immersed in her religious studies. And yet through this they remained - so she thought - as close as ever.
A smile breaks through Naessi's tears as she remembers, with a laugh, the night he gave her the veil. And then her face turns as grief overtakes her yet again - for she never did wear that veil.
They had been holding each other, talking of things forgotten - when she made a flip remark about having ocassion to wear a veil, or some such nonsense. He promptly produced a white veil, attatched to a circlet of ice blossoms, from his pack. Presenting it to her with a tender kiss and a caress, he swore she sould have reason to wear it someday.
Looking back, it was easier for Naessi to see how events conspired to end her bliss. At the time, however, she merely thought herself caught up in something monumental, and was determined to play a pivotal role - all while keeping her love safe and unharmed.
If possible, Naessi's stance crumples even more as she recalls the times he looked unflinchingly into her eyes and lied. Knowing now that the last of their tender moments were all an act sends a fresh wave of grief through her soul - though it is nothing she has not felt before. One moment she prepares to throw herslef over the cliff, and the next, she sobs hysterically, her body too weak to do anything but grieve.
The night Naessi's universe turned upside down - and all the details leading up to it - have been replayed in her memory many times. His cold gaze as he stonily told her he never wanted to see her again. She burns with shame and regret as she recalls her tearful pleas - something she would never do now. With a shudder she places a cool hand to her cheek, hot with tears, as she remembers all too vividly how he struck her there.
The question of why would not be answered for years.
Drawing her knees to her chest as the sun tumbles into an abyss of clouds, Naessi's sobs have subsided. Her body shivers in the mist generated by the waterfall now that the sun has gone, and as she closes her eyes, she can recall their meeting years after that horrible night.
It was an equally dark and cold night, far away from Icemule Trace, that their paths crossed again. Crossed? It might be fiar to say that while they happened to be in the same city, Naessi forced the crossing. Hearing his thoughts echoing in her mid, knowing he was nearby, she sought him out.
What she found was a mere shadow of the man she had loved (and still did) so well. Edgy, dodgy, looking as though he was barely aware of his surroundings - and yet aware enough to glare warily as she approached. He allowed her questions, and answered them swiftly and without emotion. He admitted to the lies, yes, and said his manipulations were an attempt to turn her from the path she had set on.
Naessi drew herself up with pride at this and told him that his abandonment had only steeled her resolve and propelled her - though she walked eagerly - down that dark path. Through her pointed questions and open display of emotion, he finally broke. Throwing back the hood of his cloak, he commanded, "Look. Look what time, and you, have done to me."
They spoke briefly of her cruelty towards him, though in her heart she thought it could never match his own. And then inexplicably, he stated that the lot of his problems were not her fault. At fault or not, Naessi longed to comfort him, her heart surging full of a love she had hoped was lesser with time. Yet he drew back, not allowing her touch, and bade her leave before harm befell her.
She withdrew sadly, though a spark of triumph lit her eyes. And she waited patienty while two seasons passed.
Tears now drying on her cheeks, Naessi gazes up towards Lornon as if searching for something only she can see. She fingers a string of beads around her next and mumbles a few words, "Dark Lady, give me strength to accept this finality."
But how easy it had been to hold out hope! Months after their meeting in the city of Ta'Illistim, he appeared renewed and much like his old self. A tentative smile here, an old joke shared there - though they were both consumed with other things, it was pleasant when they met. And he vanished, for a time - not unusual for him. As always, Naessi waited patiently for his return that she might see him once more - that he might see her though the eyes of years past.
Sitting listlessly in the dark, Naesis now knows these hopes were foolish at best. Seeing him today - his words - confirmed the worst. There was no hope, and there never had been. That painful parting - the sting of the lies, the sting of the slap - they had all been final.
A closing of a door she has tried fruitlessly to reopen ever since.
Hands trembling, she opens her satchel to withdraw a small shiny object. Holding it aloft, her tears start afresh, and she turns as if showing it to the four elements, Eorgina, the night. The red light of Lornon glints off the small object and bounces back crimson. Naessi's face, tilted towards the moon, appears to streak with blood now instead of tears.
Suddenly and with a violent snap of her wrist, Naessi sends the object hurtling towards the falls. She looks for a minute as though she many follow it, but her jaw clenches and she turns away... missing the sight of a star-etched brushed silver band as it hits the water and disappears forever beneath the surface.
How to let him go? She may spend the rest of her days trying, but the hope and the waiting has ended tonight.
She slowly descends the cliff and heads through town, towards the comfort of the temple. She knows she is at last breaking free of the chains that have cruelly bound her for so long. And her sighs of sadness are coupled with sighs of relief.
[Edited on 10-10-2004 by SpunGirl]
That is the question Naessi Ranay faces as she sits on the highest cliff, perched precariously close to the edge, overlooking the Cascade of Tears.
Someday, somehow - that's what she always thought. She thought that something would bring him back to her, after all the hurt, sharp words, and lies had faded like the mist from the falls. Maybe all the refuse could be cleared away and what would remain would be as precious as it had always been - their love.
The first time she met him, she was a young girl of not quite seventeen. It had been four years since her mother abandoned her to the pack of dogs she called friends and disappeared from her life forever. Since then, she had viewed all people with extreme caution. She had forged a tentative friendship with Nystiral, but he was becoming more and more aggressive by the day and Naessi felt herself shrinking from his onslaught.
This young rogue, so handsome - he opened her treasure quickly and accepted the tip with a dashing smile. The next time they met, by happenstance it would seem, would be on the roads of Icemule Trace. He greeted her warmly, remembering her name, and promptly handed her sixty-five silvers.
"You dropped these," he said. "I found them for you."
Naessi's petite form shakes with sobs as she huddles overlooking the waterfall, remembering those innocent beginnings. Her hands clench into fists, and she tears furiously at tufts of grass on the cliff's edge and then allows them to float away on the breeze. If only letting these memories go was that easy...
Naessi had been charmed at this young man's wit. Never invasive or overt with her, she soon found herself longing for the intimate touch of his lips on hers. Her wish was soon granted and with the first kiss she began a rapid and headlong fall into the deepest pit she ever knew existed.
She would sit by and watch him at his trade while taking rests from her hunting adventures. He worried at her refusal to pick a more sturdy armor than robes, and laughed good-naturedly as her collections of clothing grew. Her every quirk seemed to enchant him more, and soon enough she was sharing all of herself with this man. Body, soul, and even her darkest secrets - for she had many for one so young.
Before she could reveal the deepest secret of all, their constant contact was swiftly cut off. A series of disturbing events had rocked the small town of Icemule Trace. Suddenly, her young man vanished for days at a time, and would refuse to speak of his whereabouts when he did return. Naessi was satisified with his explanation that he was involved in something secret and showed him only her concern for his safety.
It was during this time that she found her way back to the company of Nystiral, who had become somewhat more disciplined and somber since she had last spent time with him. She asked after his change in behavior and he began to tutor her in the ways of Queen Eorgina, greatest of the arkati. Along with Nystiral's tutelage came that of Sheka, a formidable elf (if not in size than in might) who guided Naessi swiftly on the path towards Eorgina's altar.
Naessi's lover noticed these changes in her, even though he did not comment on them. Their worlds slowly expanded - he with his secret activities, she immersed in her religious studies. And yet through this they remained - so she thought - as close as ever.
A smile breaks through Naessi's tears as she remembers, with a laugh, the night he gave her the veil. And then her face turns as grief overtakes her yet again - for she never did wear that veil.
They had been holding each other, talking of things forgotten - when she made a flip remark about having ocassion to wear a veil, or some such nonsense. He promptly produced a white veil, attatched to a circlet of ice blossoms, from his pack. Presenting it to her with a tender kiss and a caress, he swore she sould have reason to wear it someday.
Looking back, it was easier for Naessi to see how events conspired to end her bliss. At the time, however, she merely thought herself caught up in something monumental, and was determined to play a pivotal role - all while keeping her love safe and unharmed.
If possible, Naessi's stance crumples even more as she recalls the times he looked unflinchingly into her eyes and lied. Knowing now that the last of their tender moments were all an act sends a fresh wave of grief through her soul - though it is nothing she has not felt before. One moment she prepares to throw herslef over the cliff, and the next, she sobs hysterically, her body too weak to do anything but grieve.
The night Naessi's universe turned upside down - and all the details leading up to it - have been replayed in her memory many times. His cold gaze as he stonily told her he never wanted to see her again. She burns with shame and regret as she recalls her tearful pleas - something she would never do now. With a shudder she places a cool hand to her cheek, hot with tears, as she remembers all too vividly how he struck her there.
The question of why would not be answered for years.
Drawing her knees to her chest as the sun tumbles into an abyss of clouds, Naessi's sobs have subsided. Her body shivers in the mist generated by the waterfall now that the sun has gone, and as she closes her eyes, she can recall their meeting years after that horrible night.
It was an equally dark and cold night, far away from Icemule Trace, that their paths crossed again. Crossed? It might be fiar to say that while they happened to be in the same city, Naessi forced the crossing. Hearing his thoughts echoing in her mid, knowing he was nearby, she sought him out.
What she found was a mere shadow of the man she had loved (and still did) so well. Edgy, dodgy, looking as though he was barely aware of his surroundings - and yet aware enough to glare warily as she approached. He allowed her questions, and answered them swiftly and without emotion. He admitted to the lies, yes, and said his manipulations were an attempt to turn her from the path she had set on.
Naessi drew herself up with pride at this and told him that his abandonment had only steeled her resolve and propelled her - though she walked eagerly - down that dark path. Through her pointed questions and open display of emotion, he finally broke. Throwing back the hood of his cloak, he commanded, "Look. Look what time, and you, have done to me."
They spoke briefly of her cruelty towards him, though in her heart she thought it could never match his own. And then inexplicably, he stated that the lot of his problems were not her fault. At fault or not, Naessi longed to comfort him, her heart surging full of a love she had hoped was lesser with time. Yet he drew back, not allowing her touch, and bade her leave before harm befell her.
She withdrew sadly, though a spark of triumph lit her eyes. And she waited patienty while two seasons passed.
Tears now drying on her cheeks, Naessi gazes up towards Lornon as if searching for something only she can see. She fingers a string of beads around her next and mumbles a few words, "Dark Lady, give me strength to accept this finality."
But how easy it had been to hold out hope! Months after their meeting in the city of Ta'Illistim, he appeared renewed and much like his old self. A tentative smile here, an old joke shared there - though they were both consumed with other things, it was pleasant when they met. And he vanished, for a time - not unusual for him. As always, Naessi waited patiently for his return that she might see him once more - that he might see her though the eyes of years past.
Sitting listlessly in the dark, Naesis now knows these hopes were foolish at best. Seeing him today - his words - confirmed the worst. There was no hope, and there never had been. That painful parting - the sting of the lies, the sting of the slap - they had all been final.
A closing of a door she has tried fruitlessly to reopen ever since.
Hands trembling, she opens her satchel to withdraw a small shiny object. Holding it aloft, her tears start afresh, and she turns as if showing it to the four elements, Eorgina, the night. The red light of Lornon glints off the small object and bounces back crimson. Naessi's face, tilted towards the moon, appears to streak with blood now instead of tears.
Suddenly and with a violent snap of her wrist, Naessi sends the object hurtling towards the falls. She looks for a minute as though she many follow it, but her jaw clenches and she turns away... missing the sight of a star-etched brushed silver band as it hits the water and disappears forever beneath the surface.
How to let him go? She may spend the rest of her days trying, but the hope and the waiting has ended tonight.
She slowly descends the cliff and heads through town, towards the comfort of the temple. She knows she is at last breaking free of the chains that have cruelly bound her for so long. And her sighs of sadness are coupled with sighs of relief.
[Edited on 10-10-2004 by SpunGirl]