Personal lives...

[Betheny]

Is it okay to flame someone you know from an RPG (i.e. Gemstone) by using insults directed at their personal lives, even if their personal life isn't something they brought up?

I'm just pondering what the general consensus of those that read the Player's Corner Forums is.

[CrystalTears]

Nope. If the person came here and brought it up, stick to that subject matter. But just because someone mentioned one thing doesn't mean that it's acceptable to open the whole can of worms. But that's just me, apparently.

[Scott]

If you bring up RL stuff, then it's your own damn fault. Don't tell people things you don't want them to know.

[CrystalTears]

I don't think that's what she means. I believe she's saying that if you have a problem with a character and you bring it to the boards to complain about it that you start bringing in personal facts about the person to support it. That's why I said if they come here and mention their life then that's free to discuss. It's disclosing more than what was given is what's in question here.

[Notsosweet]

if they didnt bring up their life in the first place there wouldnt have been this damn discussion !

[Scott]

Originally posted by CrystalTears
I don't think that's what she means. I believe she's saying that if you have a problem with a character and you bring it to the boards to complain about it that you start bringing in personal facts about the person to support it. That's why I said if they come here and mention their life then that's free to discuss. It's disclosing more than what was given is what's in question here.

I'm assuming you are talking about the Adyria thread. If people bring your real life things into the game, and spread them around, you open yourself up for other people to talk about your life. The only difference is, Adyria talks about it in game, spreads things and such, and notsosweet's character took it the boards.

If I talk about your personal life, you damn well have right to talk about my personal life.... It's your call whether to do it. Crystaltears, this post is completely contradictory to a previous post you had with Atheana and Graysalin. You told them both that if they didn't want personal information talked about, they shouldn't talk about it....... Guess what. Adyria talked about her life, she used her life to get pity and turn people against other people, and now someone decided to use it to get back her. It's nobody's fault but her own.

[CrystalTears]

I understand that, and I do know that this girl is rather asking for it. See but I see things a little differently because all that happened in the game, not the boards, and only those people involved knew about it (I guess). It was brought here and exposed even more. I would have never known about any of this information about these characters if everyone didn't come here and air it out for the world to see. I view it a little differently but I guess that's not how others see it and I accept and will agree with their viewpoint.

And as for Atheana and Graysalin, they came to the boards and trashed people and stated things about their real lives as well, and when they were confronted about it, they didn't want to talk about it anymore because now it was about them. There's a difference.

[Scott]

<<<Nope. If the person came here and brought it up, stick to that subject matter. But just because someone mentioned one thing doesn't mean that it's acceptable to open the whole can of worms. But that's just me, apparently.>>>

That IS the subject matter. She broke down in the middle of a game and said "I was in a car accident, I hit a pole at 60MPH and injured myself." Her personal matters are a part of the problem. I wish she would shut up, not talk about others lives, and keep her personal information to herself. She brings the personal information up, and that's the problem.

[Notsosweet]

wait !! she told me it was at 65MPH and she hit a curb..LOL another lie oops i think i ment to put that in my thread

[HarmNone]

I do not see what is so enticing about flaming people to begin with. I can see absolutely no reason to bring an in-game matter to these boards and subsequently begin a flame-fest over someone's personal life outside the game.

If someone says something here, and you know (or strongly suspect) it to be false or different than presented, I see no problem with requesting the person to prove their statement, or to present facts to back up what they are saying. I see no problem with confronting what you know to be an outright lie. But, to bring real-life events to these boards for the purpose of putting somebody down? Nope.

HarmNone

[Betheny]

I was not necessarily talking about any thread.

Simple question, simple answer...

[Skirmisher]

Originally posted by HarmNone
If someone says something here, and you know (or strongly suspect) it to be false or different than presented, I see no problem with requesting the person to prove their statement, or to present facts to back up what they are saying. I see no problem with confronting what you know to be an outright lie. But, to bring real-life events to these boards for the purpose of putting somebody down? Nope.

HarmNone

But but...what will we do for fun?:(

[HarmNone]

Heh. We are never short of outright lies and/or exaggerations to work with. There is plenty of room for a rolicking good time. :D

HarmNone

[Betheny]

Crystaltears echoed my sentiments fairly well. I have nothing more to say, other than this thread wasn't started becasue of the... angeleyez thread, it was started because that particular thread brought up a question in mind. They're totally seperate.

The basic jist of it is this...

Would YOU want someone that you had a conflict with in GS to come to the Player's Corner, and spout off about something they know nothing about, i.e. "This person is a whore/skank/bitch"... etc, etc.

If you talk and share your personal life with people that are big enough assholes to come here and publish your life, that's your fault for choosing loser friends.

[CrystalTears]

Originally posted by Gemstone101
That IS the subject matter. She broke down in the middle of a game and said "I was in a car accident, I hit a pole at 60MPH and injured myself." Her personal matters are a part of the problem. I wish she would shut up, not talk about others lives, and keep her personal information to herself. She brings the personal information up, and that's the problem.

I understand that she is bringing in her personal life into the game and that can be pretty annoying and so it's going to come and bite her in the butt. What I can't see is how it's now okay to bring that issue to the boards and mention the rest of her personal life as well.

There's a difference between focusing on the already publicized personal information given by someone, than it is to trudge up new information for the world to see that most people don't know just to feed the flames. I'm sorry but I don't agree with that.

[Tsa`ah]

Sticky questions get sticky answers.

"It depends" gets my vote.

I haven't read the previously mentioned thread but ...

If I'm getting you right, a player comes to these boards posting about an in-game issue with player A. It begins as a conflict with the character but devolves into a flame pertaining to the player of A, i.e.; "well I guess you can power hunt 40 levels in a month if you collected welfare for 5 kids that wore dirty clothes and all of your artifact items were made for you at no cost because you slept with GMs". That is crossing the line, especially if A has never mentioned welfare or sex with the GM staff.

Casting our opinion of the player based on how the character is played is another story. Drizzdt, Vif, (excuse me) Bitchhave etc, etc, et al, are idiotic attention whores. That's my opinion based on my experience with the characters, how they are portrayed, and how they react when something doesn't go their way. I don't know if any of them are sluts, druggies, or anything else, so that is not my place to say. I can, and will say they are idiots.

And still it is another issue if the player of A has shared life events and situations in public settings. Be it in game, message board, or web page. This is the number one reason I will never share any of my character's names. People on these boards can say "Tsa'ah is an ass", or prick, or anything. I have shared some details of my personal life. Those connections can't be made to any character in game. People may view this as cowardly, I view it as a safeguard between gaming and reality. I've never had an OOC conflict due to something I've said on a board and conversely I've never taken an out of game issue in game.

I could go on for half the day with specific examples, but it'll be easier for all to say "it depends".

[Camri]

I understand that she is bringing in her personal life into the game and that can be pretty annoying and so it's going to come and bite her in the butt. What I can't see is how it's now okay to bring that issue to the boards and mention the rest of her personal life as well.

<There's a difference between focusing on the already publicized personal information given by someone, than it is to trudge up new information for the world to see that most people don't know just to feed the flames. I'm sorry but I don't agree with that.>

No, you don't get it.

SHE TOLD PEOPLE ALL THIS STUFF IN GAME. That's where the information came from. It came from her. I haven't read anything that was an assumption yet. SHE TELLS EVERYTHING, whether you want to hear it or not. There's nothing in that thread that most people don't already know about.

The issue got brought to the boards because it's a Gemstone complaint. The original poster was asking if anyone else had had issues with this person. THOSE ARE THE ISSUES. She brings all this personal shit into the game. That's the BIGGEST issue.

[Tsa`ah]

God I just read that thread and I swear my IQ dropped 50 points because of it. I am now just slightly above dumb ass, thank you very much.

Please don't bleed the threads, this one has some intelligence to it and I can't afford to lose any more IQ points. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to change my name to Sean.

[Adhara]

Using RL facts about someone to support a viewpoint is bad. Even if the person has voluntarily given out this information. Example:

Person A in IM: Hey what do you do for a living?
Person B: I'm a mortician
Person A: uh that's a little weird
Person B: yeah it takes a very special personality to do this job

two months later in the game:
Person A dies, is rescued by B. B drags A's body into his arms and starts licking A's face or (Klaive this one is for you) toes. Eww right?

the next day on the boards:
A starts a thread about how unacceptable B's roleplay is. So far so good. Then she uses her knowledge that B is a mortician to support her theory that A is a wacko.

My opinion: B might be a wacko but A has no business saying he's a mortician. Her problem is with his roleplay and so she must stick to discussing the roleplay. And that even if B's roleplay is a direct consequence of B's real life fascination with death. Now if B jumps in saying he's a mortician and other personal stuff then it's fair game for everyone to call him on it.

Now where it gets complicated is when RL IS the problem and not the roleplay. For example those people who stay OOC continuously (Vif) in the game. If the problem resides in the fact that the person brings their RL in the game then I think some carefully chosen examples can help illustrate what the problem is on the boards.

Since Adyria's thread is so recent, I'll use this example. Saying that this person lies constantly to get attention is fine. Now people will demand example. Ok use that one about the car accident. But do we need to know she's 40 and preys on 14 year old boys? While it is a very disturbing information, it has nothing to do with the original premise that she lies for attention.

All in all it's a judgement call. I think sometimes there's no avoiding having to give precise examples and especially when the problem is OOC. We must trust (hope?) that people are mature enough to filter what they let out and make sure it serves the purpose at hand.

[longshot]

My head hurts...

[Notsosweet]

<<All in all it's a judgement call. I think sometimes there's no avoiding having to give precise examples and especially when the problem is OOC. We must trust (hope?) that people are mature enough to filter what they let out and make sure it serves the purpose at hand. >> Thank you we were only trying to give examples . Proof was asked for and it was given out and then we were slammed for given what was requested of us..

<< If you talk and share your personal life with people that are big enough assholes to come here and publish your life, that's your fault for choosing loser friends. >>

Loser friends ..LMAO thats what you DONT GET .. WE arnt her friends we keep telling you that and you wont listen...We made it a point to tell her we didnt want to hear her personal shit a long time ago and yet it somehow keeps getting crammed down our throats.. so i thought i should ask about it nothing more .. and if i needed to present the facts i did so .. dont go getting all pissy b/c you asked for proof and didnt like what was proved to you , You act as if we purposly came her to slam and flame her .. which couldnt be more untrue, i asked if people had issues with her like i did i was asked to give examples and i did .. No need to get your panties in a bunch..calm down count to 10 and try it all again.. point being the post asked if others had issues with her... end of my rambling for now

[Notsosweet]

Sorry i didnt mean for my post to run togetherlike that i ment to answer you both .. but hell i was on a roll

[CrystalTears]

Okay guys, calm down a little bit. This topic wasn't specifically about this most recent thread. This happens quite a bit and I'm sure Maimara wanted to know if this was something people were okay with. I personally am not.

I'm sure she said a lot of things in the game, and I know people said to prove it. People will come here and personally bash people they don't like for whatever reason. When it really does happen that someone is that forthcoming with their personal information in a game like that, some people tend to not believe it right away.

I really wasn't saying anything in that thread because people vent about various people and it's not my place to question their reasons for it, although I may state my opinion on it on occasion. However it did bother me when someone claimed to be their friend and bashed them along with the others. That's the part that bothered me the most.

[Edaarin]

I'm really not a big fan of bringing RL matters into conflicts, especially on these boards. Keep it in game, otherwise by attacking the person behind the character you're no better than Sean is. I'm noticing it's the same people who bring up RL stuff over and over as well, not just the Adyria thread.

About Adyria, I don't know her or her PC, but some people are just whack. Stay away tfrom them is probably the only thing you can do.

[Weedmage Princess]

I selected depends on the situation...The rule--ideally, is you keep your RL and IC life seperate. But sometimes when you interact with someone day after day, week after week, month after month...and in some cases, year after year..you start to develop some kind of relationship with them...so SNs are exchanged, conversations begin, and as a result relationships are formed...which can be a good thing or a bad thing..depending on the people involved.

If someone IMs you out of the blue one day and starts telling you all kinds of stuff about them IRL...then your friend is saying that same person threatened them IRL...I'd think you might want to pass along whatever information you have...

HOWEVER...if said person who IMed you all this stuff was just talking to you as a friend, and you're repeating what they told you for no reason other than "Hey, everyone else is bashing this person, I'm gonna hop on the bandwagon and do it too with a lil juicy gossip" ..well then that's wrong, and kind of a scumbag thing to do.

[Solkern]

Sintik dont forget, she'll also lie about peoples personal lives, to draw attention <angeleyez that is>

[Betheny]

Can you people please stop pressing the RETARD button and keep the Adyria/Angeleyez/Uber-Flamers thread where it belongs?