Need some Alteration help

[Dendum]

So I won the companion alteration and I have to come up with three descriptions (sleeping, sitting, flying) and I am having some trouble coming up with the flying alteration, and it is without a doubt the most important alteration of the three because my companion spends 99% of the time in the air.

I have already asked and laser beams glued to the head is a no go.

Here is the default description

A golden-eyed jet black raven soars high overhead, lazily gliding up and down in the gentlest of breezes. The large and powerful wings dominate the picturesque view of the raven as he performs swift aerial stunts.

and I will probably change the raven to a a dark-eyed obsidian black raven...

Was thinking maybe mentioning the dark silhouette in the sky or something....I don't know my brain has frozen on this one.

[rolfard]

Think batman

[Dendum]

Think batman
They will not let me put a cape or a utility belt on him.

[Allereli]

I like the eyes not being black.

is he gliding lazily or performing stunts? very different actions. I prefer stunts of course:

A large golden-eyed jet black raven soars high overhead, its powerful wings flapping and folding in perfectly timed aerial stunts.

Where is it sitting and sleeping? (on the ground? on your shoulder?)

and:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LPx7DzRdV7g/TLZNC-tFTNI/AAAAAAAAALo/0lhb4lrFWjg/s1600/comicbookmoviedotcom.jpg

[Dendum]

I like the eyes not being black.

is he gliding lazily or performing stunts? very different actions. I prefer stunts of course:

A large golden-eyed jet black raven soars high overhead, its powerful wings flapping and folding in perfectly timed aerial stunts.

Where is it sitting and sleeping? (on the ground? on your shoulder?)


Due to mechanics it has to sit and sleep on the ground, and yes I am not a huge fan of the default flying description either...I suppose it was the best they could do to include all the various avian species in one description but it is the one I want to change the most.

[Luscinia]

The default description made me laugh because it's so overwrought. No real writer mentions the color of a raven unless it's not black.

I'm reminded of a story where a young lord found an injured goshawk in the woods and nursed it back to health. His brother made fun of him for not just getting a new, stronger hawk, but he stuck with it and eventually the hawk could fly again. Not very well, of course, but still he felt a certain responsibility for it, so he continued to take it on hunts.

But the hawk could never fly much higher than the treetops, and eventually the lord realized that for all its bravery and effort it would never compete with the rest of the hawks. So, after a number of years, he finally cast it aside. As much as he did love the hawk, it simply wasn't practical to hunt with it.

That lord, of course, was Stannis Baratheon.

Anyway, if you could just work in a very personal quirk to the description, a very slightly idiosyncratic way that it tumbles through the air, it would make for a much neater RP prop.

Edit -- If I had to write something, then perhaps in the spirit of:
A brown-speckled forest raven soars upon the wind on dark fluttering wings. Every now and then, she swivels hesitantly as though searching for a lost companion, then wheels and tumbles through the air before swiftly rising again.

[Larch]

...and I will probably change the raven to a a dark-eyed obsidian black raven...

Dark, obsidian, black....seems redundant. When hearing "raven", basically all people are going to picture a black bird with black eyes. When I picture a raven I think of a bold, calculating, mischievous son of bitch like this guy. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21vVxIioBF8) Try to get some your companion's personality into the description. Is he a scout? Instigator? Calm, cool, and collected? Screeching in frustration or triumph? Did he pick a fight with the wrong critter and is carrying a grievous injury that has made him reticent? Is he alert for danger in order to save his own skin or to report back and warn you?

Can you ask for more from them? I spend 90% of my rest time in one particular room and would love for my companion, if I had one, to have a special descriptor for that room. Maybe roosting in the tree at TSC scanning for an opportunity to wreak havoc. Or fluttering up onto the statue in IMT town center to survey the lesser beings sitting and standing around.