09-01-2003, 11:17 PM
Over the years, I've witnessed some very funny things. I'll try not to include too many inside jokes. Most of mine are from AIM. The AIM names that still exist have been modified.
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OAmaryllisO (6:19:28 PM): Dellat Angis Ieon just arrived.
>
Mad Mage Klaive just arrived.
Klaive traces an arcane sigil in the air.
>
Ieon gulps.
Ieon slings an obsidian black crossbow off from over his shoulder.
>
Ieon begins aiming at Klaive with his crossbow.
>
Klaive gestures at Ieon.
Ieon's penis is severed, falls to the ground and rots!
Ieon falls to the ground screaming and clutching at his mangled gonads!
Ieon is stunned!
* Ieon is slain before your eyes!
>
Klaive grins.
Klaive fades from view.
>
OAmaryllisO (6:19:34 PM): My response to this is - what penis?
Mad Mage Klaive (6:20:14 PM): rotflmao
OAmaryllisO (6:20:27 PM): I mean, come on!
OAmaryllisO (6:20:36 PM): Karrisa has ovaries, cause ovaries are just ovaries...
OAmaryllisO (6:20:56 PM): Despite me running around saying "Damnit <insert female's name>, stopit or I'm gunna kick you in the ovaries!"
OAmaryllisO (6:21:05 PM): (And yes I have/do say that)
OAmaryllisO (6:21:16 PM): But to have a penis... that's kind of a thing of honor.
OAmaryllisO (6:21:20 PM): Ovaries are a right...
OAmaryllisO (6:21:26 PM): Penis's are a privellage.
Mad Mage Klaive (6:21:33 PM): lol
OAmaryllisO (6:21:42 PM): ::grin::
OAmaryllisO (6:22:07 PM): Well, think about it...
OAmaryllisO (6:22:14 PM): Penis = privellage = reward.
OAmaryllisO (6:22:26 PM): You are rewarded for having a big one, a wide one...
OAmaryllisO (6:22:33 PM): But who the fuck cares about your ovaries as long as they work?
OAmaryllisO (6:22:35 PM): ::giggle::
OAmaryllisO (6:23:30 PM): "Yes, I'm 18 yr old male seeking 18 yr old female with 7" ovaries"
OAmaryllisO (6:23:32 PM): Yeah, right.
OAmaryllisO (6:24:35 PM): So you get my point, right?
----------------------------------------
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:28 AM):
Circle: 18
Showing survival skills at or above rank 0.
SKILL: Rank/Percent towards next rank/Amount learning
Evasion: 44 88% learning Climbing: 24 31% clear
Perception: 14 71% clear Tracking: 0 00% clear
Hiding: 14 08% clear Lockpicking: 0 89% clear
Disarm Traps: 0 37% clear Stalking: 7 55% clear
Stealing: 4 61% clear First Aid: 18 38% clear
Foraging: 12 82% clear Escaping: 0 07% clear
Backstab: 0 00% clear Skinning: 26 58% clear
Swimming: 15 21% clear
Survival Average: 14 (Total: 178 in 12 included skills)
Time Development Points: 21 Favors: 10 Deaths: 6
Overall state of mind: clear
EXP HELP for more information
>
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:30 AM): dude, look
DR Davius (5:28:46 AM): Well, you suck.
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:47 AM): I need 20 in SIX, to make 20.
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:52 AM): I do not!
DR Davius (5:28:53 AM): Survival Average: 99 (Total: 1089 in 11 included skills)
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:53 AM): I rock.
DR Davius (5:29:39 AM): Yeah, you rock right the fuck down a cliff.
----------------------------------------
>
Jastele says, "tis nay hard to learn"
>
(Gweldulf bustle of activity greets each fresh arrival of wounded. Long rows of narrow cots covered with immaculate white linen are reserved for recovering patients. Empaths move efficiently through the room, offering words of comfort as they check on the status of their charges. The smooth granite walls are adorned along the upper border with a brightly painted plaster frieze depicting long garlands of medicinal herbs interspersed with jadice flowers. You also see a large white cabinet.)
>
Gweldulf blinks.
>blink gwel
You blink at Gweldulf.
>
----------------------------------------
GS Jana (7:36:47 PM): well i mean.....its not really consent for you to shake my bon bon unless i have shooken yours...pvp rules clearly state that.
GS Jana (7:39:15 PM): now, once i have shooken your bon bon, then my bon bon is clearly available for shaking....however....simply pointing at you while you are picking your bon bon does not give you consent to tamper with mine.
GS Jana (7:39:34 PM): (i think i have gotten considerably less sane since givin you my AIM)
----------------------------------------
>
********************
SEND[Halo] Mm...you were nekkid except for that cloak.
********************
>
----------------------------------------
>
Flura says, "None of you are any fun."
>
Flura sniffles.
>
Flura says, "Except Shami."
>
Wylon just tickled Flura.
>
Flura says, "She let me eat her."
>
----------------------------------------
HornyButtercup95 (2:24:53 AM): I am going to hurt any that touch LeeAnn. All shall be warned.
Mad Mage Klaive (2:25:34 AM): Alright Horny Buttercup! Just don't hurt me!
----------------------------------------
DR Davius (1:30:52 PM): I hate pets.
----------------------------------------
Gweldulf kicks one foot out in a graceful arc, and with a dip of his shoulders and a tinkling of toe bells, he pirouettes in a dazzling spin!
>
Toe bells jingling in a staccato cadence and feet a blur of motion, Gweldulf throws his head back and lifts his arms high in the sheer joy of dance.
----------------------------------------
Marie 21179 (2:25:01 AM): you want some pussy?
GS Morrn (2:25:20 AM): you want my foot up your ass?
----------------------------------------
GS Poetic (11:24:31 PM): So I told her, "I can put my mouth and finger in motion.. but first you must drink my potion"
----------------------------------------
Your mind hears Arachest thinking, "I love dusk orgies!"
>
Your mind hears Arachest thinking, “er… I mean ogres”
----------------------------------------
>
A low chirping sound comes from within a small ebony cricket box.
>
A horde of Mercantyler guardsmen arrive with Hashum in their midst.
The judge studies the prisoner carefully and then motions toward the Guild Captain who fiercely proclaims, "Hashum stands accused of ."
The judge turns to the prisoner and says, "We have no use for troublemaking knaves in this town! Guilty as charged! For the crime specified, the fine shall be 600000 silver pieces. Your Promissory Note has been seized to help pay for your fine, but you still owe 596490 silvers. Your belongings, if any, will be held for an hour, until you come up with the silvers to pay off the fine. If, in that time, you are unable to pay the fine off, your belongings will be sold at auction. You are now free to go."
The judge then stands and says, "Court is adjourned!" He bangs a maoral gavel upon the table and retires to his chambers.
>look hash
You see Lord Hashum Adonikam.
He appears to be a Faendryl Dark Elf.
He appears to be immature. He has milky white eyes and black skin. He has long, braided white hair.
He has a strange case of muscle twitching.
He is wearing nothing special.
>
Hashum darkly says, "oh no"
>
----------------------------------------
Sabotage: "hey Klaive, heh i didnt mean to hurt your feelings"
Klaive: "It's okay, just that the monkey wasn't mine. And my son was really upset."
You: "what the heck are you guys tlaking about"
Klaive: "you can come to the next party too. I don't have hard feelings. If you don't either then that's great!"
Sabotage: "i was in Klaive's house and he didnt want me attacking his monkey, so i put him to sleep and he got angry and kicked me out"
Klaive: "it was my son's monkey"
----------------------------------------
>clim gate
You carefully grab hold of the sharp grill work and begin to work your way up it.
[Graveyard, Top of Gate]
You find yourself hanging from the ornate ironwork of this gate, the top of which consists of rows of sharp iron spikes pointing straight up. You might be able to vault over them, but that is best left to the acrobats.
Obvious paths: down
>jump
>
With characteristic daring, you decide to vault over the spikes!
With the grace of a swan you swing yourself over the deadly barbs and drop to the other side of the gate.
[Graveyard]
You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a lesser ghoul and some double leather.
Obvious paths: northeast, northwest
>go cry
[Graveyard, Crypt]
The entry foyer to this enormous granite crypt is stark, adorned only with grisly friezes sculpted in low relief into the walls. Bands of bluish-green ahnver are inlaid into the stone in thin strips just below the ceiling throughout the entire structure, bathing the rooms in a subtle light. A shadowy arch curves overhead and leads deeper into the inner sanctum of the sepulcher. You also see the Zal disk, a large sack and a cracked urn.
Also here: Morrn, Wylfryd, Dagmire who is sitting, Gandife, Tydrol who is sitting, Qahaar, Alarke who is kneeling, Roop, Wyshe, Sylvyna who is sitting
Obvious exits: out
>hold morrn
You reach out and hold Morrn's hand.
>pre 130
>
You gesture while calling upon the lesser spirits to aid you with the Spirit Guide spell...
Your spell is ready.
>cast
You gesture.
Your surroundings blur for a moment . . .
[Town Square Central]
This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see a wooden arrow, some torban leaf, a hawk that is lying down, some wolifrew lichen, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, some woth flower, some woth flower, a fancy blue blouse, a stylish blue hat, a large acorn, a large acorn, a large acorn and some stone benches with some stuff on it.
Also here: Morrn, Saager, Peryl, Cleona who is lying down, Lady Osaena, Askikon, Valanna, Vyroken, Geneveve, Velona, Drivis who is kneeling, Yatan who is sitting
Obvious paths: east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
>
You feel dizzy. The ground and sky seem to move together in a nauseating blur. When things seem steadier you realize you're flat on your back!
Roundtime: 22 sec.
>
Saager put some black steel-plated boots on some stone benches.
>
Morrn says, "God damn it"
>
----------------------------------------
Post your best quotes, I'd love to hear them!
----------------------------------------
OAmaryllisO (6:19:28 PM): Dellat Angis Ieon just arrived.
>
Mad Mage Klaive just arrived.
Klaive traces an arcane sigil in the air.
>
Ieon gulps.
Ieon slings an obsidian black crossbow off from over his shoulder.
>
Ieon begins aiming at Klaive with his crossbow.
>
Klaive gestures at Ieon.
Ieon's penis is severed, falls to the ground and rots!
Ieon falls to the ground screaming and clutching at his mangled gonads!
Ieon is stunned!
* Ieon is slain before your eyes!
>
Klaive grins.
Klaive fades from view.
>
OAmaryllisO (6:19:34 PM): My response to this is - what penis?
Mad Mage Klaive (6:20:14 PM): rotflmao
OAmaryllisO (6:20:27 PM): I mean, come on!
OAmaryllisO (6:20:36 PM): Karrisa has ovaries, cause ovaries are just ovaries...
OAmaryllisO (6:20:56 PM): Despite me running around saying "Damnit <insert female's name>, stopit or I'm gunna kick you in the ovaries!"
OAmaryllisO (6:21:05 PM): (And yes I have/do say that)
OAmaryllisO (6:21:16 PM): But to have a penis... that's kind of a thing of honor.
OAmaryllisO (6:21:20 PM): Ovaries are a right...
OAmaryllisO (6:21:26 PM): Penis's are a privellage.
Mad Mage Klaive (6:21:33 PM): lol
OAmaryllisO (6:21:42 PM): ::grin::
OAmaryllisO (6:22:07 PM): Well, think about it...
OAmaryllisO (6:22:14 PM): Penis = privellage = reward.
OAmaryllisO (6:22:26 PM): You are rewarded for having a big one, a wide one...
OAmaryllisO (6:22:33 PM): But who the fuck cares about your ovaries as long as they work?
OAmaryllisO (6:22:35 PM): ::giggle::
OAmaryllisO (6:23:30 PM): "Yes, I'm 18 yr old male seeking 18 yr old female with 7" ovaries"
OAmaryllisO (6:23:32 PM): Yeah, right.
OAmaryllisO (6:24:35 PM): So you get my point, right?
----------------------------------------
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:28 AM):
Circle: 18
Showing survival skills at or above rank 0.
SKILL: Rank/Percent towards next rank/Amount learning
Evasion: 44 88% learning Climbing: 24 31% clear
Perception: 14 71% clear Tracking: 0 00% clear
Hiding: 14 08% clear Lockpicking: 0 89% clear
Disarm Traps: 0 37% clear Stalking: 7 55% clear
Stealing: 4 61% clear First Aid: 18 38% clear
Foraging: 12 82% clear Escaping: 0 07% clear
Backstab: 0 00% clear Skinning: 26 58% clear
Swimming: 15 21% clear
Survival Average: 14 (Total: 178 in 12 included skills)
Time Development Points: 21 Favors: 10 Deaths: 6
Overall state of mind: clear
EXP HELP for more information
>
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:30 AM): dude, look
DR Davius (5:28:46 AM): Well, you suck.
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:47 AM): I need 20 in SIX, to make 20.
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:52 AM): I do not!
DR Davius (5:28:53 AM): Survival Average: 99 (Total: 1089 in 11 included skills)
Mad Mage Klaive (5:28:53 AM): I rock.
DR Davius (5:29:39 AM): Yeah, you rock right the fuck down a cliff.
----------------------------------------
>
Jastele says, "tis nay hard to learn"
>
(Gweldulf bustle of activity greets each fresh arrival of wounded. Long rows of narrow cots covered with immaculate white linen are reserved for recovering patients. Empaths move efficiently through the room, offering words of comfort as they check on the status of their charges. The smooth granite walls are adorned along the upper border with a brightly painted plaster frieze depicting long garlands of medicinal herbs interspersed with jadice flowers. You also see a large white cabinet.)
>
Gweldulf blinks.
>blink gwel
You blink at Gweldulf.
>
----------------------------------------
GS Jana (7:36:47 PM): well i mean.....its not really consent for you to shake my bon bon unless i have shooken yours...pvp rules clearly state that.
GS Jana (7:39:15 PM): now, once i have shooken your bon bon, then my bon bon is clearly available for shaking....however....simply pointing at you while you are picking your bon bon does not give you consent to tamper with mine.
GS Jana (7:39:34 PM): (i think i have gotten considerably less sane since givin you my AIM)
----------------------------------------
>
********************
SEND[Halo] Mm...you were nekkid except for that cloak.
********************
>
----------------------------------------
>
Flura says, "None of you are any fun."
>
Flura sniffles.
>
Flura says, "Except Shami."
>
Wylon just tickled Flura.
>
Flura says, "She let me eat her."
>
----------------------------------------
HornyButtercup95 (2:24:53 AM): I am going to hurt any that touch LeeAnn. All shall be warned.
Mad Mage Klaive (2:25:34 AM): Alright Horny Buttercup! Just don't hurt me!
----------------------------------------
DR Davius (1:30:52 PM): I hate pets.
----------------------------------------
Gweldulf kicks one foot out in a graceful arc, and with a dip of his shoulders and a tinkling of toe bells, he pirouettes in a dazzling spin!
>
Toe bells jingling in a staccato cadence and feet a blur of motion, Gweldulf throws his head back and lifts his arms high in the sheer joy of dance.
----------------------------------------
Marie 21179 (2:25:01 AM): you want some pussy?
GS Morrn (2:25:20 AM): you want my foot up your ass?
----------------------------------------
GS Poetic (11:24:31 PM): So I told her, "I can put my mouth and finger in motion.. but first you must drink my potion"
----------------------------------------
Your mind hears Arachest thinking, "I love dusk orgies!"
>
Your mind hears Arachest thinking, “er… I mean ogres”
----------------------------------------
>
A low chirping sound comes from within a small ebony cricket box.
>
A horde of Mercantyler guardsmen arrive with Hashum in their midst.
The judge studies the prisoner carefully and then motions toward the Guild Captain who fiercely proclaims, "Hashum stands accused of ."
The judge turns to the prisoner and says, "We have no use for troublemaking knaves in this town! Guilty as charged! For the crime specified, the fine shall be 600000 silver pieces. Your Promissory Note has been seized to help pay for your fine, but you still owe 596490 silvers. Your belongings, if any, will be held for an hour, until you come up with the silvers to pay off the fine. If, in that time, you are unable to pay the fine off, your belongings will be sold at auction. You are now free to go."
The judge then stands and says, "Court is adjourned!" He bangs a maoral gavel upon the table and retires to his chambers.
>look hash
You see Lord Hashum Adonikam.
He appears to be a Faendryl Dark Elf.
He appears to be immature. He has milky white eyes and black skin. He has long, braided white hair.
He has a strange case of muscle twitching.
He is wearing nothing special.
>
Hashum darkly says, "oh no"
>
----------------------------------------
Sabotage: "hey Klaive, heh i didnt mean to hurt your feelings"
Klaive: "It's okay, just that the monkey wasn't mine. And my son was really upset."
You: "what the heck are you guys tlaking about"
Klaive: "you can come to the next party too. I don't have hard feelings. If you don't either then that's great!"
Sabotage: "i was in Klaive's house and he didnt want me attacking his monkey, so i put him to sleep and he got angry and kicked me out"
Klaive: "it was my son's monkey"
----------------------------------------
>clim gate
You carefully grab hold of the sharp grill work and begin to work your way up it.
[Graveyard, Top of Gate]
You find yourself hanging from the ornate ironwork of this gate, the top of which consists of rows of sharp iron spikes pointing straight up. You might be able to vault over them, but that is best left to the acrobats.
Obvious paths: down
>jump
>
With characteristic daring, you decide to vault over the spikes!
With the grace of a swan you swing yourself over the deadly barbs and drop to the other side of the gate.
[Graveyard]
You pause inside the gates to survey the eerie scene. A magnificently crafted granite crypt to the north inspires wonder and loathing. The carvings on the facade are horrific, detailing the onslaughts of the Unlife throughout the chaotic history of Elanthia. A gravel path wraps around the structure, while thorny brambles growing among the tombstones deter you from leaving the paved route. You also see a lesser ghoul and some double leather.
Obvious paths: northeast, northwest
>go cry
[Graveyard, Crypt]
The entry foyer to this enormous granite crypt is stark, adorned only with grisly friezes sculpted in low relief into the walls. Bands of bluish-green ahnver are inlaid into the stone in thin strips just below the ceiling throughout the entire structure, bathing the rooms in a subtle light. A shadowy arch curves overhead and leads deeper into the inner sanctum of the sepulcher. You also see the Zal disk, a large sack and a cracked urn.
Also here: Morrn, Wylfryd, Dagmire who is sitting, Gandife, Tydrol who is sitting, Qahaar, Alarke who is kneeling, Roop, Wyshe, Sylvyna who is sitting
Obvious exits: out
>hold morrn
You reach out and hold Morrn's hand.
>pre 130
>
You gesture while calling upon the lesser spirits to aid you with the Spirit Guide spell...
Your spell is ready.
>cast
You gesture.
Your surroundings blur for a moment . . .
[Town Square Central]
This is the heart of the main square of Wehnimer's Landing. The impromptu shops of the bazaar are clustered around this central gathering place, where townfolk, travellers, and adventurers meet to talk, conspire or raise expeditions to the far-flung reaches of Elanith. At the north end, an old well, with moss-covered stones and a craggy roof, is shaded from the moonlight by a strong, robust tree. The oak is tall and straight, and it is apparent that the roots run deep. You also see a wooden arrow, some torban leaf, a hawk that is lying down, some wolifrew lichen, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, a wooden arrow, some woth flower, some woth flower, a fancy blue blouse, a stylish blue hat, a large acorn, a large acorn, a large acorn and some stone benches with some stuff on it.
Also here: Morrn, Saager, Peryl, Cleona who is lying down, Lady Osaena, Askikon, Valanna, Vyroken, Geneveve, Velona, Drivis who is kneeling, Yatan who is sitting
Obvious paths: east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest
Cast Roundtime 3 Seconds.
>
You feel dizzy. The ground and sky seem to move together in a nauseating blur. When things seem steadier you realize you're flat on your back!
Roundtime: 22 sec.
>
Saager put some black steel-plated boots on some stone benches.
>
Morrn says, "God damn it"
>
----------------------------------------
Post your best quotes, I'd love to hear them!