PDA

View Full Version : white house, 2005



theotherjohn
09-16-2004, 11:13 PM
The White House, 2005

One sunny day in 2005, an old man approached the White House from across ennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine replied, "Sir, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't reside here."

The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry"

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Kerry is not President and doesn't reside here."

The man thanked him and again walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Kerry."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Kerry. I've told you already that Mr. Kerry is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"

The old man answered, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow."

Latrinsorm
09-16-2004, 11:19 PM
As the man turned, the Marine planted his boot into the old man's spine.

"Get a job, hippie."

09-16-2004, 11:34 PM
Hahahaha PWNED.

- Arkans

Farquar
09-16-2004, 11:44 PM
Starting a joke thread now?

Lets start things off:

www.ebaumsworld.com/presaddress2.shtml

www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0805042bush1.html

www.whitehousewest.com

09-16-2004, 11:47 PM
My favorite joke website..

www.johnkerry.com

and a close second..

www.moveon.org

- Arkans

Pallon
09-17-2004, 12:22 AM
''I have a commonsense practical plan to make high-quality health care more affordable and more accessible,'' Bush said.

Latrinsorm
09-17-2004, 12:37 PM
Guys, you know if you put http:// before the websites, they automatically become links, right? Rather than people having to copy and paste the address?

TheRoseLady
09-17-2004, 01:20 PM
Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Back
09-17-2004, 01:37 PM
The best presidential joke is the one that gets elected.

Prestius
09-17-2004, 01:51 PM
MEN OF GREAT INTELLECT...

"I have always strenuously supported the right of every man to his own opinion, however different that opinion might be to mine.
He who denies another this right makes a slave of himself to his present opinion, because he precludes himself the right of changing it."

*Thomas Paine, 1783


"Free speech exercised both individually and through a free press, is a necessity in any country where people are themselves free."

*Theodore Roosevelt, 1918


"The truth is found when men are free to pursue it."

* Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1936


"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear."

* George Orwell, 1945


"Any time we deny any citizen the full exercise of his constitutional rights, we are weakening our own claim to them."

* Dwight David Eisenhower, 1963


"What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant."

*Robert F. Kennedy, 1964


"Go fuck yourself."

*Dick Cheney, 2004

Parkbandit
09-17-2004, 02:11 PM
Cheney fucking rocks.

Jorddyn
09-17-2004, 02:14 PM
Originally posted by Parkbandit
Cheney fucking rocks.

... and then falls down, clutching his chest?

Jorddyn... "CLEAR!" bzzzt