Just venting/sharing something.

[Caiylania]

I'm crying over a table. It sounds stupid. A lot of you probably think it is. I don't care.

Most of you know my Mom died last year. She was a single mom, I'm an only child. All I had was her. She joined the military to provide for us, and we never had much money. The two things we had that were nice, she cherished. A german grand-father clock and a german dining table set she bought while we were stationed there.

A few years ago she married a nice man and we get along. After she died there was no debate..... he knew when Rick and I got back from Italy those two things would be mine to pick up. Mom and I had them for 10 years. Whatever else broke, got ruined, or we had to sell, those two things stayed.

He knew that.

Well he just moved 2 months ago. Finally sent me pictures of the house. No table. So I ask the question.

Oh...... one of the legs broke so I threw the set out.

A leg. One leg. This was a german bench and shelving set. The table came with two chairs, and two benches. Each bench fit three people and opened to store linens, or whatever. It was beautiful. And it was mine.

Without calling, writing, or anything. He has thrown it out. The entire thing.

So, I cried over a table. It was part of my childhood, I wanted it for my house, my family. To have something of my Moms.

I am so upset. There is nothing I can do, it's long gone and I want to break something.

[DianaBanana]

I'd want to break his face. I'm sorry that he did that to you, it was just wrong. And no, it's not pathetic you're crying over it. That table had sentimental value to you.

[DeV]

You have every right to be upset. That act was beyond being unthoughtful. He could have at least checked with you. Sorry to hear that.

[Jenisi]

This is why assasians are for hire! Ask Bob, I'm sure he'll take up the job.

Best thing to do is to move on. Things get better.

- Arkans

[Caiylania]

Easier said than done, Arkans. :/

Even if he didn't know the 'sentimental value' of it to me. The table belonged to me. It was my property. He thew it out without even trying to ask what I wanted done with it.

Overall he is a good guy. Which is why I logged off AIM before I said something I would regret. I can't believe its gone. I just..... can't.

[Brattt8525]

I am so sorry to hear that hon, things like that are so special and unreplaceable. Your handling it better then I would, my mom raised me and my siblings alone, and the things she was able to buy mean something to us.

She finally remarried 5 years ago, and her hubby built her and him a beautiful home, but the hutch and a few other items didn't match....HIS house he told her to just sell them in a garage sale. Luckily for me, I was able to go and get them.

Long distance ::::::hugs::::::::::::::: for you hon.

Tara

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Jenisi
This is why assasians are for hire! Ask Bob, I'm sure he'll take up the job.

http://www.moviebadgirls.com/yahoo2image/asian+assassin.jpg
Asian Assassins!

[Jazuela]

Why not ask him who he sold it to (or where) and locate the buyer and explain it to them?

And - talk to your step-dad - explain how upset you are to learn that this cherished thing is no longer part of the family. Not that "he did something bad" - but rather, that YOU feel bad as a result of his actions. Put everything in the "I" perspective. "I" am upset over this. "I" feel as though I have lost a special part of my childhood. "I" am annoyed because a family heirloom is gone.

If you approach it this way rather than lashing out at him in anger (which I wouldn't blame you for doing, heh) - he will be more receptive to your being upset, and more likely to understand, empathize, and assist in helping get the thing back.

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by Jazuela
Why not ask him who he sold it to (or where) and locate the buyer and explain it to them?

And - talk to your step-dad - explain how upset you are to learn that this cherished thing is no longer part of the family. Not that "he did something bad" - but rather, that YOU feel bad as a result of his actions. Put everything in the "I" perspective. "I" am upset over this. "I" feel as though I have lost a special part of my childhood. "I" am annoyed because a family heirloom is gone.

If you approach it this way rather than lashing out at him in anger (which I wouldn't blame you for doing, heh) - he will be more receptive to your being upset, and more likely to understand, empathize, and assist in helping get the thing back.

?

He threw it away. Weeks ago. I just found out. In some wasteland of garbage by now.

[Sean]

She said he threw it out not he hocked it at some antique pawn shop.

[Caiylania]

Though I wish he had sold it. Then at least I could get it back.

[Jazuela]

Ah sorry - I misread. I'd still have a talk with him about it, so he can understand what a STUPID thing he did - but expressing your anger in a way that he doesn't feel put on the defensive.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

He still has the clock?

[CrystalTears]

Yeah what about the clock? did he throw that away because it stopped ticking?

I'm sorry this happened to you, hon. Some people don't understand that certains do hold sentimental value.

[Ilvane]

It's not stupid to cry over a table. Sometimes there are just things that remind you of a person or place in your life that you wouldn't get rid of, even if it were broken or damaged. I'm sorry you've lost that item, but keep your mom in your heart, and go get yourself a new set and start new memories to pass down to your child.:)

-A

[Caiylania]

Clock made it. Here is a pic he sent of it... in the group I noticed the table missing from.

Bad pic but all I have on my PC.

[KymberlynX]

May sound far fetched but you might want to check with the garbage company (if it was picked up by them) and see if they did in fact dispose of it. The trash guy might have put it aside and tried to fix it to keep. I heard they sometimes do things like that.

[Jazuela]

And if the garbage company didn't pick it up (some places have zoning laws about what can and cannot be left as garbage on the curb), then at least you know that someone who will certainly appreciate it did pick it up. Small consolation, but if it isn't at the dump, then someone is enjoying it, and hopefully will enjoy it as much as you did and appreciate it for the treasure it truly is.

[HarmNone]

I'm so sorry, hon. There's nothing to be said that will ease the loss you feel. Only time can do that.

HarmNone

[Drew2]

My money says someone was interested in it, he sold it to them and told you it broke and he threw it out.

If he knew how much sentimental value it had to you prior to him "throwing it out", any normal person would either ask you first or keep it even if it was broken for you to restore or whatever.

I'm willing to bet that table is sitting in someone's house right now.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Originally posted by Tayre
My money says someone was interested in it, he sold it to them and told you it broke and he threw it out.

If he knew how much sentimental value it had to you prior to him "throwing it out", any normal person would either ask you first or keep it even if it was broken for you to restore or whatever.

I'm willing to bet that table is sitting in someone's house right now.

I think that's kid of a negative way of looking at things. The damage is done, why alienate an in-law that she admittedly likes? Life goes on, mistakes were made, don't dwell in the past.

[xtc]

I am sorry to hear it. I think Jazuela gave you some good advice regarding speaking to your step father.

You aren't dumb to cry, my Dad died when I was quite young and I keep a few things that remind me of him. There is also a table that my mother cherishes although it is quite old now.

Just a suggestion, I would preserve pictures, writings, and videos of your Mom.

It is easier said than done, but we all know that time heals everything. If anything, go get hammered for a night or three and you'll be fine.

- Arkans

[Caiylania]

We have talked a bit. I never went off on him or anything. One of the reasons I posted here is so I could vent and say things I didn't want to say to him.

As SHM said..... I don't want to alienate him. I choose to believe him, because there really is no point to any other theories. Nothing can be done about it, and there really was no reason for him to do so. He got a hefty sum from my mother's life insurance. That is part of how he bought a new house. So I doubt he went and sold a table for cash.


*edited to say: And I don't drink, so that is out. Sorry, Arkans :)

[Edited on 9-15-2004 by Caiylania]

[Staceyrain]

How bout a big hug from a sister?

*H-U-G*

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

You are black?

[Nakiro]

There is always that clock!

Yah the table thing sucks, but luckily all things heal with time.

[Caiylania]

Originally posted by Suppa Hobbit Mage
You are black?

Black women were not the first to use that term. But aside, Stacey is ..... err. Well I don't do the adopted family thing, but she is the sister-in-law of one of my best friends in game. That is what she is referring to.

Nakiro- True. :)