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View Full Version : 15-Year-Old Duchess of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy!



Ceyrin
12-08-2013, 01:05 PM
Very exciting news.


MCCOMB, AL—In an announcement that quickly set Lowndes County abuzz with excitement, royal family sources revealed Tuesday that Brandy Puckett, 15, Duchess of McComb and first in the line of succession to the throne, was pregnant with her first child.

“Brandy’s got a baby in her!” said Duke Bo Puckett, 17, addressing a rabid mob of reporters and paparazzi gathered around the back porch of the royal estate. “She hadn’t bled for quite a spell, so we took her to the doctor and he said she’s gonna be a mama.”

Ending widespread speculation that the duchess was “sick with something on account of she was throwing up,” McComb palace officials confirmed that Duchess Brandy was three months pregnant, would give birth early next summer, and had already put in for two months of maternity leave from the local Price Chopper.

“Don’t know who the daddy is yet,” said Brandy’s mother Lurline III, the unmarried, 28-year-old reigning Queen of McComb. “Might could be her pa’s, but probably not, though. Me, I reckon it’s most likely either [Earl of Lowndesboro] Clyde’s or [Gordonville High Count] Darryl’s.”

“Whosever it is, I ain’t taking care of it,” Her Royal Highness added.

Though the byzantine, incestuous royal ancestry of McComb is reportedly impossible to trace for more than a couple of generations, experts on the family confirmed that the duchess’s child is set to move ahead of Brandy’s six brothers and eight sisters in the line of succession, presumptively becoming monarch directly after Brandy herself. More... (http://www.theonion.com/articles/15yearold-duchess-of-mccomb-al-announces-pregnancy,30615/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus)

Thondalar
12-08-2013, 01:23 PM
Well...we're not allowed to make fun of most people now-days...glad to see the South is still fair game.

Gelston
12-08-2013, 02:27 PM
Well...we're not allowed to make fun of most people now-days...glad to see the South is still fair game.

The North is just mad that OSU won't be in the BCS Championship.

cwolff
12-08-2013, 02:53 PM
The North is just mad that OSU won't be in the BCS Championship.

We just aren't chock full of incestous-retard strength like the SEC. BTW, it's ok to make fun of the South. They don't get it anyway so it's not really mean.

Gelston
12-08-2013, 03:04 PM
We just aren't chock full of incestous-retard strength like the SEC. BTW, it's ok to make fun of the South. They don't get it anyway so it's not really mean.

Your jealousy is so sweet.

diethx
12-08-2013, 04:14 PM
We just aren't chock full of incestous-retard strength like the SEC. BTW, it's ok to make fun of the South. They don't get it anyway so it's not really mean.

You should really stop mislabeling the entire south. What you mean to say is Alabama.

Gelston
12-08-2013, 04:21 PM
You should really stop mislabeling the entire south. What you mean to say is Alabama.

Alaska is #2 in incest. Michigan is in the top 5. So is Vermont.

diethx
12-08-2013, 04:23 PM
Based on what, reported rape cases?

Gelston
12-08-2013, 04:29 PM
Based on what, reported rape cases?

Google reports that. I saw the same rankings in many different locations, so I'm sticking with it.

diethx
12-08-2013, 04:31 PM
....based on what? Reported rape cases?

Gelston
12-08-2013, 04:32 PM
....based on what? Reported rape cases?

Based on Google. I don't know, I told you this! The rankings were commonly enough listed that I believe there may be validity behind them.

Latrinsorm
12-08-2013, 06:15 PM
...shouldn't the Queen be referred to as Her Royal Majesty?

cwolff
12-08-2013, 08:27 PM
Alaska is #2 in incest. Michigan is in the top 5. So is Vermont.

I'm surprised Michigan isn't higher.

AnticorRifling
12-09-2013, 08:40 AM
....based on what? Reported rape cases?

I'd say based on voting records. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP!

SHAFT
12-18-2013, 12:48 PM
This article came from the onion. It's bullshit.

caelric
12-18-2013, 04:06 PM
This article came from the onion. It's bullshit.

Excellent detective skills, Sherlock.

SHAFT
12-18-2013, 04:34 PM
Excellent detective skills, Sherlock.

My name isn't Sherlock and I'm not a detective.