Get the fuck out of my house.

[Bobmuhthol]

Okay, I wasn't going to do one of these, but I'm sure some pretty stupid shit is going to happen eventually and I'll want to post it.

So I'm chilling out and then *DOORBELL*. I wondered wtf it was and my brother is the only other person home so I answered it and see this hippie chick. So I'm standing there (I'm actually significantly taller than her :() and she asks if my parents are home, then proceeds to talk to me instead. She had some papers and she wants Congress to pwn Bush for cutting down forests or something. She was like, "You know how important these resources are!" and I nodded. Then she wants me to read some statement. NO THANKS, BITCH. I declined, telling her that I agree with her cause, but want nothing to do with it myself. Then she fucking ASKS FOR A DONATION. Fuck off. I say no, she walks away, I'm happy.

[Betheny]

Should have told her to give you head.

[Blazing247]

Haha Bob has a Journal entry. Little girly man with all his sensitivity and whatnot!

[Bobmuhthol]

rofl fuck off

So earlier today I get a call. I'm all, "Yo sup dude!" A Halo party has been planned for tomorrow and we haven't had one in a while so it's going to kick major ass. Everybody loves teh Halo. OH WAIT ONE LITTLE DILEMMA. Five minutes ago I just got a call from Connie, who I have not spoken to in a few weeks. The conversation goes something like this:

"Hi, is Alex there?"
"This is Alex."
"Hi, this is Connie."
"Hi."
"Come to my house tomorrow."
"OH SORRY HALO PARTY."
"Oh okay. How have you been?"
"Good."
"That's good. Bye."

It sucked about six tons of penis.

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Blazing247
Haha Bob has a Journal entry. Little girly man with all his sensitivity and whatnot!

Girly men get head.

[Blazing247]

BTW, the trailer for Halo 2 looks badass.

http://www.xbox.com/en-us/xboxtv/default.htm?t=3856&v=86179&bw=hi

My roommate is buying Xbox just for this game.

[Artha]

I'm going to preorder Halo2 as soon as I get some $$$.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Bobmuhthol
It sucked about six tons of penis. Not that I'm a relationship expert, but I'd say this might be a good time to break it off.

[Bobmuhthol]

That phone conversation is totally fux0ring my brain. I'm notorious for not understanding people when they're talking to me on the phone, but I'm pretty sure I heard her correctly. She asked me how I've been. I said, "Good" and suddenly she's eager to hang up. She even sounded confused. It makes no sense to me how either I could fuck up that badly or she could be anything but normal after hearing my response. I didn't tell her to fuck off. I told her how I've been. I heard "That's............... good" afterward. Longest. Pause. Ever.

It's not like she was trying to do anything privately, either. There were most definitely going to be other people there [mainly (ugly) chicks] so I don't see how she could possibly be upset about me not going. If she called 26 minutes sooner, I wouldn't be going to the Halo party, and would not get free pizza, soda, and video games. First call, first come to your house and steal your food.

She definitely could've talked about something, too. She mainly dominates conversation because I have nothing to talk about ever. Instead, she asks me to go to her house and then gets pissy about it when I say I just made plans. I generally speak monotonously, but I'm also decent at faking voice tones. I was genuinely disappointed and regretful, and I can also acknowledge that there's a chance she thought I wasn't. I haven't exactly been the best at not ignoring her existence for a while. My summers are spent at home alone, though, and not many things can change that.

Toward the end of the conversation (I thought it was the beginning and was waiting for her to talk about something else), it sounded like she was going to say something but stopped herself, and I did the same. Then she just said, "I'll catch up with you later" and that was that. Funny that she took me seriously enough when I was hardly being serious and now she's being, IMHO, a bitch when I'm sincere. :down:

When I first started writing this post, I thought I really fucked up somehow and should apologize or something. Reading the last paragraph, though, I don't see what I did wrong. Chicks suck.

Edited to add a missing 'speak'.

[Edited on 7-30-2004 by Bobmuhthol]

[Miss X]

.....

You're her boyfriend, she hasn't seen you in weeks and she invites you over and you're busy? I was a 14 year old girl once too and that would have pissed me the fuck off. It's a growing up thing, logic does not come into it at that age. All she is thinking is that she invited her boyfriend over and he was too busy to see her.
Also, when she said "how have you been?" you say "Good, but I'VE BEEN MISSING YOU." That's what girls want to hear. Sure, we are kind of complicated but you just have to say the right things! ;)

If they push the date back just ONE MORE TIME for Halo 2, I be bustin melons and splittin wigs.

Bob you would pwn me in multiplayer mode. I'm rusty since my xBox was one of the "first off the shelf editions," and its lens reader totally fried to a smoldering pulp after 2 years of usage...

[SpunGirl]

::sigh:: Bob, Bob, Bob.

"Good" is not the response she was looking for. As Chica so wisely stated above, you could have said you missed her. I'm sure even a response of "good, how have YOU been!?" would have been more well-received.

Saying no to her invitation was fine since you'd already made plans, BUT, when you say no and really do want to see the person, the "no" is supposed to be followed up with a "but how about we...." (meet/day/time/activity).

Also, after she said goodbye and hung up, you were supposed to call her back and be like, "wait, I wanted to talk to you, we haven't talked in ages."

Thus ends the lesson.

-K

[Bobmuhthol]

:banghead:

Ridiculous.

[SpunGirl]

Yes, perhaps, but your choices are either to grin and bear it or to be gay.

Or a monk.

-K

[Artha]

You're her boyfriend, she hasn't seen you in weeks and she invites you over and you're busy? I was a 14 year old girl once too and that would have pissed me the fuck off. It's a growing up thing, logic does not come into it at that age. All she is thinking is that she invited her boyfriend over and he was too busy to see her.

Dude...chicks come and go. Halo parties...those last forever.

[SpunGirl]

Yeah, but does a halo party blow you?

-K

[Artha]

Possibly.

[SpunGirl]

..... do I even want to know?

-K

[Artha]

Probably not.

[Drew2]

Today you will call her back and tell her "You know what, I would love to hang out with you this weekend if you're still willing" and you will call your friends and be like "Sorry dudes I can't come to the party" and then you will go hang out with this chick.

It will make you a better person and also not stupid.

[AnticorRifling]

No, no, no! Fuck that. Go play games, be a teen, live life. Wait until you're older to stop doing fun shit to hang out with the woman. Hanging out with the girl is fine but don't do it when you have plans to do fun shit with the guys. She'd drop you in a second if she had plans and you called her to say break them.

Tell her ass to kick rocks.

[El Burro]

Originally posted by Miss X
.....

It's a growing up thing, logic does not come into it at that age.

At what age does logic start to come into it?:D
.... still waiting...

[longshot]

Don't hang out with the chick.

You lose your the "power" if you seem available.

Always be busy, even if you aren't.
Make it like you're doing her a favor she wants to hang out. Make it like you're doing it for her, even if your only plans for the evening involved abusing yourself and a nearby box of kleenex.

Having said all that... one day, you are really going to like a girl, call her, and the conversation will go awkwardly. You will feel sick to your stomach, and completely helpless.

Don't be afraid to give this feeling back, but use it sparingly.

It can have some strange consequences.

[Miss X]

Originally posted by El Burro

Originally posted by Miss X
.....

It's a growing up thing, logic does not come into it at that age.

At what age does logic start to come into it?:D
.... still waiting...

Oh, it doesn't but we like to keep the guys hopefull by pretending it will. ;)

I'm with the rest of the guys, don't ditch your guys to hang out with a girl. I mean Tayre is admitedly gay, therefore if you follow his advice in relationships than you are too

[Caiylania]

You already had plans (and kick ass ones) so no harm in telling her that. But it would have been cool for you to express interest in seeing her sometime soon.

Since it sounds like you do like her and all that, maybe call her and say hey, whats up with that? I'd love to talk with you.

You know, what Chica said.

[DeV]

You should definitely feel no regrets here. I agree with the guys, you made plans, keep them.
Seems like you like this girl, or at least care somewhat about her. Calling her up just to say hi, or because you were thinking about her wouldn't hurt either.

[Hulkein]

Originally posted by AnticorRifling
No, no, no! Fuck that. Go play games, be a teen, live life. Wait until you're older to stop doing fun shit to hang out with the woman. Hanging out with the girl is fine but don't do it when you have plans to do fun shit with the guys. She'd drop you in a second if she had plans and you called her to say break them.

Tell her ass to kick rocks.


Follow his and the like-minded advice.

You're young, believe me, you don't want to be branded by your friends as that guy who will break plans constantly because the girlfriend got in the way.

[SpunGirl]

Women do not want to hear, "I will ditch all my friends to hang with you." That makes you sound like a loser.

Women DO want to hear, "I can't hang out with you tomorrow because of xyz, but let's hang out another day," and then make future plans.

Very easy, everyone wins. Unless you don't want to hang out with her, in which case you should just dump her and forget about it.

-K

[Hulkein]

Yeah, good advice from a sensible woman.

[Bobmuhthol]

Well the Halo party was clearly better than whatever she wanted to do, so I came out on top and even set forth a new policy. I get action before September 30 or someone gets slapped.

[Artha]

I get action before September 30 or someone gets slapped.


:rofl:

[Souzy]

Haha, yeah she wanted to spend time with you since you haven't seen each other in WEEKS. Girls are too needy, stay single until you have time for all that BS. Like...after college. Just enjoy your life in the mean while. If you like her a lot, then you gotta change a couple things, know what I mean? If you wanna enjoy being a teenager, then I wouldn't even stress it and take it so seriously. You have to read between the lines with females, we're complicated like that. Too much shit to deal with. Stay single man, just stay single. Wait until she says that she wants to spend quality time with you or that she wants to talk since you haven't seen her in a while. Ughhhh...too time consuming. Don't you wish you could tell people to stop BSing and get straight to the point? Like WTF do you want?!?!?!?! Stop jabbering and tell me WTF you want! That's why I don't hang with a lot girls. We're too damn complicated.

[SpunGirl]

:lol2:

Maybe when Bob is old enough, he and Lalana should date!

-K

[Souzy]

Originally posted by SpunGirl
:lol2:

Maybe when Bob is old enough, he and Lalana should date!

-K

ROFL! Oh dear God. I'd rip the child out a new asshole. I pity any man that dates me, for real.

[Edaarin]

I still hold by my definition of middle school relationships (in other words, holding hands in the hall and eating lunch at the same table, maybe necking in a movie theater). Anything more than that is purely up to you.

Caving to her demands and ditching friends is not a good idea at my age either. It's a good way to be the butt of all jokes. We bought one of my roommates a Doug Christie jersey last year (if you don't understand this reference, read the article at this link: http://www.hifiny.com/020808_christie.html). You do not want to end up like this man.

[longshot]

Originally posted by Edaarin
We bought one of my roommates a Doug Christie jersey last year.

That's the coolest thing I've heard of in awhile.

I bet the face he made was priceless!

[Edaarin]

Not really, we had to explain it to him.

He wasn't a big fan of basketball.

[Mistomeer]

Originally posted by Bobmuhthol

Ridiculous.

HOLY FUCK! Someone on this board knows that there is no "e" in Ridiculous.

Thank you.

[Bobmuhthol]

Overview of my Halo party:

Sunday:
2:15 - James calls, wakes me up. Tells me there is going to be a Halo party at my house.
4:00 - James says he's going out for pizza.
5:00 - James has not left.
5:50 - I call Andrew and tell him to come at 6:30.
6:05 - Ed, Andy, Jay, and Ryan (my brother and his friends) arrive.
6:06 - I call Andrew and tell him to come now.
6:07 - I realize we'd have 7 controllers for 8 people. Jay and Andy go to Corey's house to borrow a controller.
6:30 - Andrew arrives, along with Jay and Andy.
6:32 - Andrew didn't bring 3 controllers. Jay and Andy have to go back for another.
6:53 - Jay and Andy come back.
7:10 - James and Nathan arrive with Xboxs.
7:25 - Everything is set up, we start playing. Jay and Ed go to get subs.
7:50 - Subs are had by some. Fun is had by all. We start playing 4v4.
10:30 - We watch Da Ali G Show.
11:00 - Nathan vomits, leaves.
11:05 - We play another round, 4v3 capture the flag. Andrew, James, and I lose.
11:40 - Jay, Ed, Andy leave. Ryan goes to his room.
11:42 - James and I kick Andrew's ass in Hang 'Em High team slayer.
11:50 - We watch Penn and Teller, Predator.

Monday:
6:30 - I'm woken up because James and Andrew need to leave for weightlifting.
8:48 - James and Andrew come back.
8:50 - We watch Desperado.
10:35 - We play more Halo.
12:03 - James leaves.
2:12: - Andrew leaves.
2:13: - I have two Xboxs, five controllers, four games, and a system link that do not belong to me. Bastards.

So good.

[Bobmuhthol]

Connie called like 20 minutes before I woke up. I found out about this at midnight. She lost.

Discuss.

[SpunGirl]

Someone in your family needs to learn to take better messages.

-K

[Apathy]

You're too young to take a relationship seriously.

But that doesn't mean blow her off, and that doesn't mean you should listen to me because I have no idea what I'm talking about. As I'm sure any man in the know that posts here will agree with me when I say this, we may be able to figure out 1 or 2 women, but the whole lot of them is too complicated to even try.

Hang out with your friends, play Halo, watch movies, be stupid when you (start/if you do) drink, and enjoy it. Girls will always be there. But at the same time, don't ignore them, unless you want to be gay, in which case hanging out with your friends is killing two birds with one stone.

Erm, ramble, yeah, give her a call back and hang out with her. Don't base your life around her. Also, go for the stinky pinky. Unless times have changed that's the first achievement that a guy should be proud of.

[this post was drunk-captioned for the alcohol impaired]

When has Arkans been wrong? Listen to my advice for be teh gh3y.

1. Do you get sex0rz'd?
2. R U bor3d w/ h3rz!!??!
3. do u h4v3 b3ttr thingz 2 do?

Ask yourself the three questions. If any of those questions are answered not to your satisfaction, when she calls, the answer is simple...

FUCKING PWNED BITCH!!!!!!11111111

- Arkans

[Makkah]

Also... there's no fucking reason to be something you're not. Be real above everything else. I've found that most of the ladies that i really turn out having a great relationship with like me because I'm so laid back and real. I don't make up all these bullshit lines "I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!?$!??!" Jesus. STFU.

I will say this, saying "Good, you?" can mean a lot more than just "Good."

But above all. Be real.

rht

[Bobmuhthol]

Update:

I just ordered some 1337 934|2. I'm watching Full House. I do not know why. This episode is funny because whoever this bitch is she's going hysterical because Bob Saget won't let her see some guy. "Ur only 15 u no no wat luv is!!" They're both retarded.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v375/Bobmuhthol1/1337gear.jpg

[SpunGirl]

You could take out the Full House cast with your new gear.

In a non-lethal fashion, of course.

-K

[Latrinsorm]

Assuming any of those are a) metal and b) sharp, of course.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Assuming any of those are a) metal and b) sharp, of course.

I think legally they cannot be sharpened before shipping. May just be certain weapons though.

[Bobmuhthol]

<<Assuming any of those are a) metal>>

No, of course they're not metal.

[Bobmuhthol]

It turns out chicks suck at only calling when they have something to say. After listening to each other breathe for a few minutes, I started to play The Sound of Silence. She didn't get the joke. My humor is wasted on some people.

[Bobmuhthol]

I thought this was particularly funny. Posted in my blog. Critics can stfu.

Friday, October 22, 2004
Monologue of Champions
First, I'd like to mention that BLOGSPOT FUCKING SUCKS and I've been trying to post this for three hours.

So. Fuck detail. The only thing I want to write about is the few short words I said today because it was kind of cool.

I left geometry, room 7, to go to English, room 33. Connie was totally right there when I got to class, so I chilled out with her and walked right past English and headed to her algebra class. I didn't have much to say, and I was frequently sighing and making generally nervous motions. She looked at me a lot. Then we reached the intersection of hallways 1-13 and 14-22. I stopped. So did she. I couldn't stand to look her in the eyes when I said the following, so I was pretty much hanging my head and talking to the floor. During the pauses I would look at her face to see just how confused she was.

"I'll summarize this. I'm going to be completely blatant, and there's no way to not say this rudely, so...
My desire to fuck you is increasing rapidly."
*bell rings*
"Take that as you will."
*walk away*

That was second period. Sixth period conversation:

"So, I guess I put you in an awkward position."
I have to paraphrase a bit here...
"Yeah, it really startled me."

I laughed on the inside.

[Latrinsorm]

Oh yeah. That sig's going to be bumped up any minute now. :yes:

[Bobmuhthol]

Honestly, I can't get over how stupid/hilarious that line was.

[Back]

Shes still talking to you. Hint hint.

[Bobmuhthol]

heh, I didn't know this thing still existed. And I was posting in it until my bannination. I might update every once in a while, but I may as well post the link to the blog.

http://wattehfuk.blogspot.com/

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I skimmed your blog. Oh the teenage angst.

Nice grammar though.

[Edaarin]

It's never too soon to learn that women are evil.

[4a6c1]

Originally posted by Edaarin
It's never too soon to learn that women are evil.

Finally. Please pass the word on. We of the United Feminazi Syndicate are relieved our secret is finally blown and would like instead of spending 30 years milking each of you idiots for what you're worth to instead have you hand everything over and save us all the time/wrinkle-free years. Thank you. We come in peace. Elvis lives. Save the pandas.

[Chadj]

You forgot "Free Tibet" at the end of your post, Jihna.

[DeV]

Originally posted by Edaarin
It's never too soon to learn that women are evil. It's also never too soon to learn that men are the reason. :saint:

[Jadewolff]

Originally posted by JihnasSpirit

Originally posted by Edaarin
It's never too soon to learn that women are evil.

Finally. Please pass the word on. We of the United Feminazi Syndicate are relieved our secret is finally blown and would like instead of spending 30 years milking each of you idiots for what you're worth to instead have you hand everything over and save us all the time/wrinkle-free years. Thank you. We come in peace. Elvis lives. Save the pandas.

First time posting here but I just had to say that was a truly beautiful post. I'm still laughing my ass off.