edge
08-19-2003, 10:59 PM
George W. Bush Resume
The White House, USA
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
* I attacked and took over two countries.
* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in
in any 12-month period.
* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the
stock market.
* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* I am the first president in US history to enter office with
a criminal record.
* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most
days on vacation by any president in US history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I
presided over the worst security failure in US history.
* I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any
president in US history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans
lost their job.
* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans
than any other president in US history.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
positions than any president in US history.
* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any
president since the advent of TV.
* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than any other president in US history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history
and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history
and refused to use the national reserves to bring prices
down as past presidents have.
* I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me
(15 million people), shattering the record for protest
against any person in the history of mankind.
* I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in history.
* I've made my presidency the most secretive and
unaccountable of any in US history.
* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history. (The 'poorest'
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
oil tanker named after her).
* I am the first president in US history to have all 50
50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud
in any market in any country in the history of the world.
* I am the first president in US history to order a US attack
and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so
against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy
in the history of the United States.
* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any other president in US history.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount
of congressional oversight than any presidential administration
in US history.
* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war
and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations.
* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also
one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest
corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
* I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any presiden
president in US history.
* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under
attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to
Air Force 1).
* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow
government.
* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in
less than a year made the US the most resented country in
the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and
world history).
* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of
the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
threat to world peace and stability.
* I am the first US president in history to have the people of
South Korea feel more threatened by the US than by their
immediate neighbor, North Korea.
* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
* I set the all-time record for number of administration
appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge
investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans
than any other president in US history.
* In a little over two years I have created the most divided
country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US
has been since the civil war.
* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and
in less than two years turned every single economic category
straight down.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military
during a time of war.
* I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions
about drug use.
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been
spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public view.
* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider
trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public view.
* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which
I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable
for public view.
* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.
PERSONAL REFERENCES:
* For personal references, please speak to my dad or uncle
James Baker (they can be reached in their offices at the
Carlyle Group where they are helping to divide up the spoils
of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)
The White House, USA
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
* I attacked and took over two countries.
* I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in
in any 12-month period.
* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the
stock market.
* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* I am the first president in US history to enter office with
a criminal record.
* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most
days on vacation by any president in US history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I
presided over the worst security failure in US history.
* I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any
president in US history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans
lost their job.
* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans
than any other president in US history.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
positions than any president in US history.
* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any
president since the advent of TV.
* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the
Constitution than any other president in US history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history
and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history
and refused to use the national reserves to bring prices
down as past presidents have.
* I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me
(15 million people), shattering the record for protest
against any person in the history of mankind.
* I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in history.
* I've made my presidency the most secretive and
unaccountable of any in US history.
* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history. (The 'poorest'
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
oil tanker named after her).
* I am the first president in US history to have all 50
50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud
in any market in any country in the history of the world.
* I am the first president in US history to order a US attack
and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so
against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy
in the history of the United States.
* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any other president in US history.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount
of congressional oversight than any presidential administration
in US history.
* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war
and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations.
* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also
one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest
corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
* I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any presiden
president in US history.
* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under
attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to
Air Force 1).
* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow
government.
* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in
less than a year made the US the most resented country in
the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and
world history).
* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of
the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
threat to world peace and stability.
* I am the first US president in history to have the people of
South Korea feel more threatened by the US than by their
immediate neighbor, North Korea.
* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
* I set the all-time record for number of administration
appointees who violated US law by not selling their huge
investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans
than any other president in US history.
* In a little over two years I have created the most divided
country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US
has been since the civil war.
* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and
in less than two years turned every single economic category
straight down.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine
(Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military
during a time of war.
* I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions
about drug use.
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been
spirited away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public view.
* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider
trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public view.
* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which
I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable
for public view.
* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.
PERSONAL REFERENCES:
* For personal references, please speak to my dad or uncle
James Baker (they can be reached in their offices at the
Carlyle Group where they are helping to divide up the spoils
of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)