Modern Thesaurus for Guys

[Soulpieced]

It may be a chain letter, but it's so true.

.

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:


1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

[vigilante]

Yes. So true.

[DianaBanana]

Yup, it's true.

[GSLeloo]

We're not ALWAYS doing that backwards talking... just sometimes

[Soulpieced]

4. We need = I want..

You can't mess with that one. I'm sorry.

[Edaarin]

Hmm. How about a Men's thesaurus?

1. Yes = Yes
2. No = No
3. That dress looks better = They both look the same, don't ask
4. No, that dress doesn't make you look fat = The fat makes you look fat
5. It's shameful how that [woman celebrity] dresses = I'd trade you in for her in a heartbeat
6. Of course I think about you = Of course I think about what you look like naked
7. Get whatever you like = Don't expect a second date if this dinner winds up costing more than $50
8. I love kids = Baggage. See ya.
9. You're right = I give up
10. I do = I surrender

[Betheny]

you people are dating the wrong people.

[Soulpieced]

What does dating have to do with the woman's vocabulary? Most all of those are definitely accurate descriptions.

[Betheny]

I'd explain, but it'll fall on deaf ears anyway.

Continue with your gender bashing.

[Soulpieced]

Likely facts have nothing to do with gender bashing. Are you telling me if my girlfriend says we need to talk, I'm not in deep shit?

[Edaarin]

You also can't be telling me that you've ever meant it when you said, Do what you want.

[Soulpieced]

Or that you "need a Coach purse" (which happens to cost 300 dollars).

[Edited on 7-22-2004 by Soulpieced]

[Sylvan Dreams]

Originally posted by Soulpieced
Or that you "need a Coach purse" (which happens to cost 300 dollars).

[Edited on 7-22-2004 by Soulpieced]

I've never asked for a Coach purse, but I have asked for a pair of "sad" black shoes because all my black shoes were "happy" black shoes and therefore inappropriate for a funeral.

I'd also like to add the following footnotes to the dictionary as follows:

* All definitions are subject to change, without notice.

** All partners are expected to keep up with the current definitions.

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Edaarin
You also can't be telling me that you've ever meant it when you said, Do what you want.

Yeah, I have. If I don't want to do something I'll state my opinion and it's over, you'll do it or you won't. I'm not the type to mince words and pretend one thing and think another. I say what I mean. Head games are for high school.

[Satira]

This is retarded.

Sometimes I can't believe half of the people on these boards can even get a date.

Edited to add:

I've said, "Do what you want" plenty of times and meant it.

[Edited on 7-23-2004 by Lady Satira]

[DianaBanana]

Originally posted by Lady Satira
This is retarded.

Sometimes I can't believe half of the people on these boards can even get a date.

Edited to add:

I've said, "Do what you want" plenty of times and meant it.

[Edited on 7-23-2004 by Lady Satira]

I'm not saying it's true all the time but alot of times they hold true. Anyway people, I think some of you forgot your sense of humor and you need to go find it.

P.S. :P

[DeV]

Originally posted by DianaBanana
Yup, it's true. For you maybe. :P

I say what I mean, and mean what I say. No beating around the bush or head games. It saves alot of bullshit later on down the road.

[Weedmage Princess]

::laughs::

This reminds me of like...employees who piss and moan about their bosses, how much they hate them, etc. etc....yet the minute the boss says a word to them, they're as sweet as pie with this huge shit-eating grin, and can't do enough for the boss.

Take that as you will ;)

[Ravenstorm]

Like all stereotypes, they have some foundation in reality but don't come close to being true all the time or for all women. What's sad is that they also apply to some guys (though #10 is usually not a problem). Overly needy, passive-aggressive, wilting gaybois you just want to slap till they shut up and grow some bal...

Oh, was that my outer voice?

Raven

[Back]

So, if Maybe = No and No = Yes, Yes = Maybe and... WTF? Yeesh, make up your minds already. Thats why men have to make all the decisions, otherwise we'd all be going round in circles forever.

Now, this might go a little off-topic, but it sort of relates. Another sexist article, probably meant with some humor... out of morbid curiosity though, what about this?

Why Good Girls Always Want the Bad Boys
(http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/content.jsp?file=love/fun/badboys.jsp)


"I just want a nice guy," women whine. Then they date the first drunken leather-clad jerk who spills his drink on her dress. What gives?

Well, it's more than just because "nice" is generally considered shorthand for "boring sex." Here's why some babes love the allure of the bad boy.

And people say rap music is a bad influence. LOL

[SpunGirl]

Originally posted by Soulpieced
Or that you "need a Coach purse" (which happens to cost 300 dollars).

[Edited on 7-22-2004 by Soulpieced]

No one NEEDS a handbag that expensive. And, um, $300? Why is she all about the cheap ones?

I got a Coach watch last year for my birthday because Jake felt guilty for forgetting all about it until the day of. Neener:P

-K

[Scott]

Originally posted by Lady Satira
This is retarded.

Sometimes I can't believe half of the people on these boards can even get a date.

Edited to add:

I've said, "Do what you want" plenty of times and meant it.

[Edited on 7-23-2004 by Lady Satira]

I'd like to introduce you to my friend.... his name is Sense Of Humor. Please, meet, have a blast.... you can learn a lot from him.

[Souzy]

Actually, I know what I need and what I want. My ex bought me a Coach purse and this $300 jacket that I still love 'til this day, cos he felt guilty doing something he shouldn't have. I knew I didn't need it, but I wanted it and at that point I didn't care how much he was gonna spend on me. I actually ended up with a couple cool things from him every time he fucked up.

[Satira]

Oh yeah blah blah blah, I must not have a sense of humor because I'm not laughing at some trite observations about the sexes I've heard nine hundred times before.

[Scott]

Originally posted by Lady Satira
Oh yeah blah blah blah, I must not have a sense of humor because I'm not laughing at some trite observations about the sexes I've heard nine hundred times before.

Translation:

I'm PMSing.

[Satira]

See previous response.

[longshot]

Originally posted by Edaarin
Hmm. How about a Men's thesaurus?

7. Get whatever you like = Don't expect a second date if this dinner winds up costing more than $50



Hmm...

7. Get whatever you like = if it's more than 50 dollars, I better get off no less than 4 times before you leave in the morning.

[longshot]

Originally posted by SpunGirl

No one NEEDS a handbag that expensive. And, um, $300? Why is she all about the cheap ones?

I got a Coach watch last year for my birthday because Jake felt guilty for forgetting all about it until the day of. Neener:P

-K

You should be so lucky to get away with a $300 hand bag where I live.

Japanese women are the most shallow creatures on earth.

[Betheny]

Originally posted by Backlash
So, if Maybe = No and No = Yes, Yes = Maybe and... WTF? Yeesh, make up your minds already. Thats why men have to make all the decisions, otherwise we'd all be going round in circles forever.

Now, this might go a little off-topic, but it sort of relates. Another sexist article, probably meant with some humor... out of morbid curiosity though, what about this?

Why Good Girls Always Want the Bad Boys
(http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/content.jsp?file=love/fun/badboys.jsp)


"I just want a nice guy," women whine. Then they date the first drunken leather-clad jerk who spills his drink on her dress. What gives?

Well, it's more than just because "nice" is generally considered shorthand for "boring sex." Here's why some babes love the allure of the bad boy.

And people say rap music is a bad influence. LOL

I like nice guys...

And men never have to make all the decisions, because women hold all the trump cards (Boobs.).

[Jazuela]

I thought the posts (translation for women, and the one for men) were pretty clever.

And what makes it funny, is that it points out the stereotype, and pokes fun at it. For those who take issue to that - it is *intended* to make fun of the *stereotype*.

And - the stereotype male/female really IS - exactly like that. So they deserve to be made fun of, and therefore - it is clever, damnit!

Now - as for that Coach bag... I don't know what that is, but I can tell you this: I would MUCH rather spend that $300 on dinners. Maybe going out with Hubby for several Saturday evenings, to a nice place, ordering lobster thermadore and a decent wine, than have some designer pocketbook.

Besides - everyone KNOWS that designer labels are for people who have no identity of their own and feel the need to flaunt someone else's.

MY pocketbooks are usually hand-made leather products that I buy at craft fairs, cost usually under $50, and last several years - each year looking better than the one before because the leather is just THAT high-quality.

[SpunGirl]

Actually, I carry a tote bag (that I use to stuff all my work stuff in) that is an easily recognized brand - name. It has nothing to do with identity, but more to do with the fact that I paid a tidy sum for something that would serve my needs and last me a long time, not to mention was good looking and well-made.

And all the watches that Coach gets are made by Movado. You can be damn sure they'll last a long time.

The people who truly have identity issues are the ones who feel the need to carry knockoff handbags. Not imitations of, but actual illegal bags (example, says Gucci, was not actually made by Gucci). I would rather carry a bag from Wal-Mart, that was really FROM Wal-Mart and SAID Wal-Mart on the side than some fake-ass LV that everyone seems to be toting these days.

And really, it's easy to tell, if you do this, you're not as cool as you'd like to presume.

-K

[Shalla]

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!


:blush:

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by SpunGirl
some fake-ass LV that everyone seems to be toting these days.Why do you have to pick on Tayre's fashion sense? :( (Note: I am not sure whether or not Tayre's handbag is a knockoff, or even if Tayre carries a handbang, or if he's going to blow up my house for implying that he does.)
Originally posted by Maimara
And men never have to make all the decisions, because women hold all the trump cards (Boobs.).You ever see that first episode of the Man Show where they had the guy on who got boob implants to win a bet... then left them in for like way too long (more than 5 minutes)? He'd be on to something if he wasn't a freaking lunatic.