WHY DO BALLS ITCH SO MUCH!?

[Tisket]

I have quite a few males in my immediate and extended families who are constantly "rearranging the furniture" and mostly they don't even try hiding what they are doing. Sometimes it's just a little slide from right to left but sometimes they'll actually put their hand down inside and dig around. And today I caught a coworker doing it out of the corner of my eye. WTF. Do they itch that much? Do they stick to your leg? Do you not realize that other people can see you? What gives?

This thread brought to you courtesy of a puzzled, over-caffeinated, and nut-less poster.

[Gelston]

They sweat very easily and therefore can stick. Sometimes they'll stick to my leg. I know other people see me adjust them. I don't care, because I know other men seeing me do it understand, and women.. Well... Who gives a fuck?

[Tisket]

There is no comparable, socially acceptable activity for women! What a gyp.

[Tenlaar]

There is more than just a comfort factor, sometimes it's a safety issue.

[WRoss]

There is no comparable, socially acceptable activity for women! What a gyp.

It's like women with big boobs adjusting their cleavage, sorta. It also has to do with the fact that you have two ultra sensitive things that sweat and can get stuck and crushed between your legs. And that's no fun.

[BriarFox]

The male genitalia are sensitive and volatile instruments of patriarchy. If not frequently coddled and adjusted, the calibration goes off and they induce madness. It is no surprise that women's suffrage was passed in a decade of comparatively tight pants in male wardrobing. One would expect the hipster craze with its ultra-tight pants to have created problems, but fortunately these pants have the effect of producing virtual castrati.

These thoughts to you on little sleep. Batteries not included.

[diethx]

I thought men just liked to have an excuse to constantly touch their junk...

[Delias]

Since the material involved is roughly the same, let's say someone grabbed your labia and was tugging them to one side or the other while you walked. This is essentially what happens when you get a little ball sweat going and they stick to your leg. If you have a hairy downstairs, it can be even worse as the hair will occasionally get pulled along with the flesh. If you are ill-prepared and the day is hot enough and you have to walk quite some distance, you may even get some chafing where your balls rub against your leg, and ball-chafe is pretty much as awful as it sounds. Then you have to adopt this sort of rolling gait like a pirate with a peg-leg. (The wise plan ahead and baby-powder their nuts.)

[diethx]

Wouldn't boxer briefs solve this problem?

[Gelston]

No, it does not.

[Gompers]

I just want to clairify something - one doesn't 'scratch' his balls - it's more of a pinch and roll.

[diethx]

Even I knew that!

[Delias]

Wouldn't boxer briefs solve this problem?

No form of underwear or going without has cured this problem. At least, not in the united states. Maybe they have some sort of pansy boy undies in france that would do the trick, but I'm really not willing to wear lace panties.

[Stanley Burrell]

Yo. It is because when it's balls-sweaty temperature, my nuts are large, which has no advantages. And that is usually when my nuts itch the most. And then it's definitely a pinch or a roll; and it's like, "where the hell is the itchy spot, shoot." It's like when you get the itch right in the center of your back and you have no idea where exactly to scratch, or like, uh, when your hand itches or something. Damn I just woke up. ...When your hand itches or something and then you have to scratch your elbow or forearm to make the itch go away.

But in public, I make sure to keep liquid hydrogen with me at all times so that I can cause my testicles to recoil in frozen horror to narrow down the itch as to scratch less so as not to disturb the peace. Or I open your freezer and hump the icebox, as is the norm in a civil society.

But mainly because Tisket won't pull out my nut hairs with her teeth and beat me like a red-headed orphan :(

Fucking orphans. Alright, lemme just read this crap that I just posted here.

[Rucca]

No form of underwear or going without has cured this problem. At least, not in the united states. Maybe they have some sort of pansy boy undies in france that would do the trick, but I'm really not willing to wear lace panties.

Going commando and letting it swing in the breeze helps ventilate, yes??

[Gompers]

Going commando and letting it swing in the breeze helps ventilate, yes??

Swing in breeze - yes, but also increased balls-stuck-to-thigh likelihood.

[Stanley Burrell]

Going commando and letting it swing in the breeze helps ventilate, yes??

Yeah, but sometimes being a commando means long missions. The duration of which I may be too scared to rezip my fly that many times without fear of anti-commando measures.

Track suit all year long, coming to a neighborhood near you, featuring Stanley Burrell.

Edit: Most disappointing image results for "commando track suit" whilst GIS'ing :mad:

[Rucca]

Yeah, but sometimes being a commando means long missions. The duration of which I may be too scared to rezip my fly that many without fear of anti-commando measures.

Track suit all year long, coming to a neighborhood near you, featuring Stanley Burrell.

Or a kilt. Just like the Scots. Stanley MacBurrell.

[Buckwheet]

The closest thing women have is when they pull the underwear out of their ass crack. I see that more often then I see ball adjustments.

[Delias]

Going commando and letting it swing in the breeze helps ventilate, yes??

Gompers has accurately stated the situation. Also, when going commando, you also increase the odds of sitting on your balls or pinching your cock in your zipper. These are two of the worst conceivable tortures on the planet.

There are a large number of testicle related disadvantages to make up for us not having monthly cramps. When it comes to genital based suffering, the sexes are more equal than anyone realizes. Luckily, genitals were my major in school. By in school I mean on the streets like a dropped out gutterslut, struggling to make sense of a cruel world that didn't care about my inability to read or analyze data based on my lack of a high school diploma. I did learn a lot about my nuts through experience, and a lot about vajajay by conducting polls and uh, other forms of research. (Research in this context [and this context only] does not mean "tucking it back and wearing a thong".)

[Methais]

Wouldn't boxer briefs solve this problem?

Only on paper.

The closest thing to a known remedy, as already mentioned, is baby powder.

[Atlanteax]

I have quite a few males in my immediate and extended families who are constantly "rearranging the furniture" and mostly they don't even try hiding what they are doing. Sometimes it's just a little slide from right to left but sometimes they'll actually put their hand down inside and dig around. And today I caught a coworker doing it out of the corner of my eye. WTF. Do they itch that much? Do they stick to your leg? Do you not realize that other people can see you? What gives?

This thread brought to you courtesy of a puzzled, over-caffeinated, and nut-less poster.

We do it because we know you are watching, and wanted to show you that we are thinking of you by touching our 'junk'.

[Bhaalizmo]

Imagine your tits were in your armpit. Yeah, it's kinda like that.

[Delias]

Imagine your tits were in your armpit. Yeah, it's kinda like that.

Poetic.

[Methais]

Imagine your tits were in your armpit. Yeah, it's kinda like that.

http://davecullen.com/brokeback/daily/TDS_2008/Reuse/logo_PostOfTheDay.gif

[WRoss]

The male genitalia are sensitive and volatile instruments of patriarchy. If not frequently coddled and adjusted, the calibration goes off and they induce madness. It is no surprise that women's suffrage was passed in a decade of comparatively tight pants in male wardrobing. One would expect the hipster craze with its ultra-tight pants to have created problems, but fortunately these pants have the effect of producing virtual castrati.

These thoughts to you on little sleep. Batteries not included.

I can't rep you....

[4a6c1]

Weird. So the nuts mostly just remain sweaty and annoying and there is nothing to do to stop it? That fucking sucks. Why not wear tighty whiteys? If you keep them tucked won't that reduce the friction? Adjusting big boobs was a good comparison. I had C cups for a lot of years and basically wore a sportsbra at all times because I just didnt want to deal with them.

[Tgo01]

Let's be honest guys, some men just love to adjust their junk for no reason.

[4a6c1]

Admit it Terrence. You never take your hands out of your pants.

[Tgo01]

Admit it Terrence. You never take your hands out of your pants.

This may or may not be me.

http://www.bundyology.com/bal2.jpg

[4a6c1]

Called it!

[Delias]

Even my four year old spends a lot of his time re-arranging his toddler junk.

[Tisket]

The male genitalia are sensitive and volatile instruments of patriarchy. If not frequently coddled and adjusted, the calibration goes off and they induce madness. It is no surprise that women's suffrage was passed in a decade of comparatively tight pants in male wardrobing. One would expect the hipster craze with its ultra-tight pants to have created problems, but fortunately these pants have the effect of producing virtual castrati.

These thoughts to you on little sleep. Batteries not included.

I've never been so sad that I am so slow to rotate through my rep that I can't rep someone so worthy. Best post ever.

[diethx]

I've never been so sad that I am so slow to rotate through my rep that I can't rep someone so worthy. Best post ever.

I hear that. Thankfully he was repable.

[Tenlaar]

I have found that the fear of getting ones twig and/or giggleberries caught in a zipper is overblown in the minds of men. I have been a commando for over a decade and never had it happen. I have sat on them a few times though. A high price to pay, but one that I feel has been worth it.

[Stanley Burrell]

Or a kilt. Just like the Scots. Stanley MacBurrell.

I would get down with my bad self if a kilt was an article of clothing I would wear. On some I'm going to jail now sheeit. Just because I have this foresight ... probably doesn't serve as any sort of detterence measure.


I have found that the fear of getting ones twig and/or giggleberries caught in a zipper is overblown in the minds of men. I have been a commando for over a decade and never had it happen. I have sat on them a few times though. A high price to pay, but one that I feel has been worth it.

I'm not wearing adamantium boxers, so I'm probably likely to pinch my pecker just as painfully and as easily as I would commando, the thing is that I have this overblown fear of getting my twig and/or giggleberries caught in my zipper.

[Warriorbird]

Weird. So the nuts mostly just remain sweaty and annoying and there is nothing to do to stop it? That fucking sucks. Why not wear tighty whiteys? If you keep them tucked won't that reduce the friction? Adjusting big boobs was a good comparison. I had C cups for a lot of years and basically wore a sportsbra at all times because I just didnt want to deal with them.

Tighty whiteys are uncomfortable. We'd rather be free but need occasional adjustment (especially if we can get help.)

[Latrinsorm]

Weird. So the nuts mostly just remain sweaty and annoying and there is nothing to do to stop it? That fucking sucks. Why not wear tighty whiteys? If you keep them tucked won't that reduce the friction? Adjusting big boobs was a good comparison. I had C cups for a lot of years and basically wore a sportsbra at all times because I just didnt want to deal with them.I'm really not trying to be a jerk here, but I think being in good shape reduces the sweat factor a lot. I can't think of too many other reasonable explanations for certain peoples' different experiences (besides my tiny penis!!!!!!!!).

I also am incredulous as to zipper fears. How ferociously do you guys re-zipper? How impatiently? Even with underwear, I again can't think of too many reasonable situations where I am in that much of a hurry to move on from bathroom activities.

[Delias]

I'm really not trying to be a jerk here, but I think being in good shape reduces the sweat factor a lot. I can't think of too many other reasonable explanations for certain peoples' different experiences (besides my tiny penis!!!!!!!!).

I also am incredulous as to zipper fears. How ferociously do you guys re-zipper? How impatiently? Even with underwear, I again can't think of too many reasonable situations where I am in that much of a hurry to move on from bathroom activities.

For my part, if you have a large and forward-leaning cock, you are more likely just to catch a little bit of shaft-skin in the zipper than zip the cock-proper. It's still a god damn nightmare, though.

[SpiffyJr]

The only time I have anything on is when I'm doing something sports related and then it's briefs. I only arrange my junk if the briefs I'm wearing are annoying or if I'm chillin' on the couch and it sounds like something fun to do. I normally don't have sweat issues but I do apply some Gold Bond Medicated powder if I'm going to be doing a physical activity for an extended period of time. It would probably work for everyone - shits amazing.

[Bobmuhthol]

Adjusting big boobs was a good comparison. I had C cups for a lot of years and basically wore a sportsbra at all times because I just didnt want to deal with them.Hahahaha did you just call C cups big?

[Delias]

Hahahaha did you just call C cups big?

Why not? You call 5 inches gigantic.

[Keller]

Hahahaha did you just call C cups big?

They aren't small.

[Bobmuhthol]

Why not? You call 5 inches gigantic.If my 5" can be considered big instead of average, then sure, we can consider C cups big instead of average, too.

[WRoss]

As someone who runs marathons, KY is key. But if you wore that everyday, it'd make for a stinky mess.

[Keller]

If my 5" can be considered big instead of average, then sure, we can consider C cups big instead of average, too.

If only there were a way for us to determine whether C cups are average or bigger than average . . . . . . .

[diethx]

As someone who runs marathons, KY is key. But if you wore that everyday, it'd make for a stinky mess.

I can think of only one situation in which you should have KY on your cock/balls.

[Delias]

I can think of only one situation in which you should have KY on your cock/balls.

Are you hitting on me?

[diethx]

Are you hitting on me?

No.

[BriarFox]

It's not the size of the boob that matters; it's how it fills your hand.

[Delias]

No.

Playing hard to get won't make you any more resistant to the chloroform.

[diethx]

You're the exact reason why I keep mace and donuts on me at all time.

[Delias]

You're the exact reason why I keep mace and donuts on me at all time.

Correction- my internet persona is the reason for the mace. My real persona is the reason for the donuts.

[diethx]

Just to be safe.

[Lord Orbstar]

For my part, if you have a large and forward-leaning cock, you are more likely just to catch a little bit of shaft-skin in the zipper than zip the cock-proper. It's still a god damn nightmare, though.

bingo. That and I have large nuts so the skin has been caught a few times. It is an eye opener. Going commando does help and whenever I am in the field (army shit) I dont wear underwear and use Gold bond. It works a bit, but your stuff still gets stuck to your leg which is a feeling that drives me crazy. or you sit on them. fuck.

Only asians have it okay, because they all have tiny dicks and shrunken balls. Well, asians and marines. Like Gelston.

[msconstrew]

It's not the size of the boob that matters; it's how it fills your hand.

So... men with tiny hands win?

[Methais]

http://i.qkme.me/36azk3.jpg

How to Powder Your Balls

Ball powdering is a fairly simple process.
Step 1

Purchase a powder. Please browse the list of powders on this site to help guide your purchasing decision.
Step 2

Apply Powder to your balls.

Listed below are the most popular techniques for ball powdering:

Shake 'n Pour
Simply hold powder dispenser above groin and pour powder over balls.
Usually requires an additional step of doing an "Indian powder dance" to clean up fallout.
http://powderyourballs.com/sites/powderyourballs.com/files/shake-n-pour.jpg


Powder Palming
Pour powder into palm of one hand, then pat onto balls.
Eliminates most fallout, but does require hand washing post powdering.
http://powderyourballs.com/sites/powderyourballs.com/files/powder-palming.jpg
That's it

Ball powdering is really easy.

Now that you know how to powder your balls its time to learn why. To understand the benefits of ball powdering please read the testimonials.

http://powderyourballs.com/how_to_powder

[mgoddess]

Only thing I can add to this conversation, being of the ball-less gender, is the following:

http://www.markvelasquez.com/calendars/kitties-and-titties-2013/

[BriarFox]

So... men with tiny hands win?

Well, you know what they say about those unfortunates with small hands...

[Delias]

I thought I read somewhere that the average breast size was like 34 B. I could be wrong.

[Bobmuhthol]

How can you average across dimensions?

[Delias]

How can you average across dimensions?

I can't. I assume mathematicians can.

[msconstrew]

Well, you know what they say about those unfortunates with small hands...

I hear they smell like cabbage.

[WRoss]

How can you average across dimensions?

Like so (http://www.impactlab.net/2008/02/12/a-chart-of-womens-preferred-penis-sizes/)

[Latrinsorm]

Eliminates most fallout, but does require hand washing post powdering.Liberal bias.

[Reliel]

Because you gave me crabs.