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View Full Version : Jaeden/IW is my bitch



jaroc
08-16-2012, 06:51 AM
So Jaeden quit Shattered a while back, a lot of us know this...guess he was not able to hang. So anyways, he used to think it was cute to randomly login and kill people at the OTF swim, then logout/go back to being gay in prime(this was months ago, and he only did it a handfull of times). I still put him on KOS, due to his general dooshness. So then a few days ago, he decided he's gonna log in Shattered and afk hunt all happy like nothin ever happened. Well my kill on sight caught him slippin, and he died, and got logged out due to this. Well he decided he is going to get revenge and fails horribly. Enjoy.


[Script]>[Gyldemar Road]
Worn away by rain and the underground action of continual water, the road has sunk to swamp level. At this point, though, it remains firm enough for passage and rises slightly out of the swamp to the west. To the east the road disappears entirely under black water for twenty yards or so then emerges again to proceed unsteadily on its way. Continuing east is most likely a sink or swim proposition, and perhaps both. You also see the ruins of a paved stone road disappearing further into the swamp to the south and some muck.
Obvious paths: west
[Script]>[go2]>go water
As you enter the water, the sucking mud drags you down slowly. Moving out further, you suddenly encounter a dropoff and slide quickly underneath the surface.

[Under The Black Water]
Wet blackness envelops everything, and the mud grasps powerfully at feet and legs. The lack of vision and the unsure footing in the muck below combine to confuse the senses, making direction a meaningless idea. Even "up" is in question at times. One can only swim and hope.
[Script]>[go2]>swim
[Gyldemar Road]
Although the forest is visible on the horizon to the south, there is no way of getting there across the treacherous swamp in between. Slowly the swamp seems to be reclaiming the cobblestone road, leaving less than half the cobblestones even visible in this area. To the west the black water has completely covered the roadway, and to the east the roadway dips and jogs, fighting to stay above the sinking terrain. You also see some muck.
Obvious paths: east
You pull yourself slowly out of the black pool, covered with mud and dripping water profusely.

Roundtime: 5 sec.

[Script]>[watervanish]>cman vanish
With subtlety and speed, you aim to clandestinely vanish into the shadows.
You attempt to blend with the surroundings and feel confident that no one has noticed your doing so.
[Script]>Jaeden comes out of hiding.
Jaeden gestures while summoning the spirits of nature to his aid...
[Script]>[kayous_kos: PWN! Jaeden is gunna die!]
--- Lich: death_recovery paused.
--- Lich: watervanish paused.
--- Lich: bigshot paused.
--- Lich: surge2 paused.
--- Lich: go2 paused.
[kayous_kos: HANDS ISSUE, FIXING!!!]
[Script]>Your disk arrives, following you dutifully.
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>Ready weapon
You remove a brown vultite quarterstaff from in your trick or treat pail.
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>hide
A tad paranoid, aren't we?
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>stance off
You are now in an offensive stance.
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>ambush #-10987967 head
You leap from hiding to attack!
You swing a brown vultite quarterstaff at Jaeden!
AS: +553 vs DS: +136 with AvD: +19 + d100 roll: +53 = +489
... and hit for 146 points of damage!
Right leg mangled horribly.
He is knocked to the ground!
He is stunned!
Roundtime: 6 sec.
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>cman vanish
With subtlety and speed, you aim to clandestinely vanish into the shadows.
You attempt to blend with the surroundings and feel confident that no one has noticed your doing so.
[Script]>[kayous_kos]>ambush #-10987967 neck
You leap from hiding to attack!
You swing a brown vultite quarterstaff at Jaeden!
AS: +553 vs DS: +56 with AvD: +19 + d100 roll: +92 = +608
... and hit for 190 points of damage!
Vertebrae in neck disintegrate from impact!
Neck sinks into shoulders.

* Jaeden drops dead at your feet!

Jaeden seems to lose some internal strength.
Roundtime: 6 sec.
[Script]> * Jaeden just bit the dust!
[Script]>--- Lich: death_recovery unpaused.
--- Lich: watervanish unpaused.
--- Lich: bigshot unpaused.
--- Lich: surge2 unpaused.
--- Lich: go2 unpaused.
[go2]>east
[go2]>northeast
[go2]>southeast
[go2]>southeast
[Gyldemar Road]
Patches of black, slimy water spread across the road in many places, causing slight detours, if possible on the muddy terrain. Mostly, though, one is forced to splash through them, leaving a grimy dark residue on feet, footwear, or, in the case of rather deep puddles, both. Often hordes of insects or small amphibians scatter out of the puddles at the footsteps' approach, disturbing and roiling the puddles as they skitter away into the safety of the flanking bulrushes.
Obvious paths: northeast, west
[Script]>[go2]>east

Back to business as usual.

Makkah
08-16-2012, 11:18 PM
Great story!!!111 Hope Hollywood picks this one up for the big screen.

jaroc
08-16-2012, 11:55 PM
Great story!!!111 Hope Hollywood picks this one up for the big screen.

LoL, i was wondering how long it would take for some primer fag to make a reply. But thank you for your interest in Shattered and what we do around here, love the attention bish(plus the bump).

Bhaalizmo
08-17-2012, 01:44 AM
Damn his DS seemed ridiculously low.

BriarFox
08-17-2012, 01:53 AM
Dude, so awesome.

...

Gizmo
08-17-2012, 11:26 AM
Worst. Rogue. Ever.

[Script]>[kayous_kos]>ambush #-10987967 head
Right leg mangled horribly.

AnticorRifling
08-17-2012, 12:25 PM
Bish you don't know bish maybe that's what he wanted! Why be a bish bish?!

Androidpk
08-17-2012, 12:54 PM
Bish you don't know bish maybe that's what he wanted! Why be a bish bish?!

Dah fuq brah?

AnticorRifling
08-17-2012, 12:59 PM
Referencing Jaroc's inability to use the word bitch and instead he op's for the lispy "bish" in his posts. (See post 3 in this thread for a prime example bish, come at me).

Tgo01
08-17-2012, 01:02 PM
This where all the bishes hang out?

Bhaalizmo
08-17-2012, 01:03 PM
Nah, bishes are in the next thread down.

Methais
08-17-2012, 03:35 PM
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii267/dutchmasters2k/162.jpg

jaroc
08-17-2012, 03:36 PM
Nah, bishes are in the next thread down.

True, but bishes are also half the people who post comments in Shattered threads, like they are actually part of the Shattered community. Fuckin wannabees. There is 1000's of game forums out there for games i'm sure none of you play either, why dont you spend all day adding dooshery there too bishes? Bish can be how my landscaper Pedro(who barely speaks English) refers to women. Bish is also how Makkah pronounces the word bitch, being that he is down like syndrome. A bish can also refer to the fact that Anticor is bish made. So it's not just a lisp BISH.

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/19961006.jpg

Suppressed Poet
08-17-2012, 03:44 PM
You stwait up sgoogled that bish. Tell Jaeden to take all that CaCaCompton deak.

Makkah
08-17-2012, 03:44 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m88y7rzARB1qjipi2o1_r1_500.gif

jaroc
08-17-2012, 04:08 PM
http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/dancefail-12.gif

Reliel
08-17-2012, 04:11 PM
He didn't choose the text life, the text life chose him.

jaroc
08-17-2012, 04:32 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRP3oFjep_Y&feature=related