I only have like five friends, so when I need a wider sample of opinions, I come here

[Delias]

Where the opinions are more diverse than amongst my five friends. Also, some of you are parents, so that might help in this instance.

Alright, so for most of my life I've dangled near the bottom of the middle class- if middle class is the rim, I could totally swat the net but I was like, totally close to a dunk once.

Anyway, it looks like my wife is going to be offered a job at a place some distance from here. The money isn't amazing but it is good enough that it would be worth moving. However, as I'm sure you know, I have a special needs son... and he is actually in a school that doesn't suck. This presents the dilemma. Is it better to take the higher pay and hope to be fortunate enough to find my boy the type of education he needs, planning that the higher income will benefit him in the long term with the potential of better opportunities in the future, or do we stay where we are and continue to be broke with fewer prospects but hopeful in my son's progress?

The potential job is further in the country, and thus less likely to have the resources that an area so close to Chicago has access to. Schools are required to conform to a minimum standard to help educate children with special needs... but nobody wants their kid to have the minimum of any kind of education.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Trying to choose what is best between the long term and the short term for my kid and balance it with what is best for our family as a whole. Being an adult is bullshit.

[Archigeek]

I think if it were me, I'd go to the location and take a long hard look at the school system. Talk to the educators and admin's and some parents of children with special needs. THEN make your decision. It's a tough one, but I think it's commendable that you're looking out for the best for your son. If you don't make the move, your wife is probably going to be either depressed or pissed about it, so there is also that. I think if you find the schools to be satisfactory, you have to consider making the move, provided you'll be able to find decent work too.

[Androidpk]

Sell your kid on the black market, buy a BMW with the proceeds.

[Bhaalizmo]

Sell your kid on the black market, buy a BMW with the proceeds.

If we're talking selling kids on the black market, surely we can spend the money better than a BMW. I'm thinking you could adopt two 18 year old thai cheerleaders and still have enough left over to get a Kia.

Back on topic though, Archigeek spoke my mind. I'd be doing a LOT of research into the destination area. There may be privateish schools or organizations in the area, perhaps even some that would provide funding for you.

[Back]

I think if it were me, I'd go to the location and take a long hard look at the school system. Talk to the educators and admin's and some parents of children with special needs. THEN make your decision. It's a tough one, but I think it's commendable that you're looking out for the best for your son. If you don't make the move, your wife is probably going to be either depressed or pissed about it, so there is also that. I think if you find the schools to be satisfactory, you have to consider making the move, provided you'll be able to find decent work too.

This. Actually go to the potential schools and check them out yourself. If you like one theres your answer.

[Latrinsorm]

Wouldn't it make more sense to sell your wife? Then you could stay in the same place and Bjorn's your uncle.

[Warriorbird]

Where the opinions are more diverse than amongst my five friends. Also, some of you are parents, so that might help in this instance.

Alright, so for most of my life I've dangled near the bottom of the middle class- if middle class is the rim, I could totally swat the net but I was like, totally close to a dunk once.

Anyway, it looks like my wife is going to be offered a job at a place some distance from here. The money isn't amazing but it is good enough that it would be worth moving. However, as I'm sure you know, I have a special needs son... and he is actually in a school that doesn't suck. This presents the dilemma. Is it better to take the higher pay and hope to be fortunate enough to find my boy the type of education he needs, planning that the higher income will benefit him in the long term with the potential of better opportunities in the future, or do we stay where we are and continue to be broke with fewer prospects but hopeful in my son's progress?

The potential job is further in the country, and thus less likely to have the resources that an area so close to Chicago has access to. Schools are required to conform to a minimum standard to help educate children with special needs... but nobody wants their kid to have the minimum of any kind of education.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Trying to choose what is best between the long term and the short term for my kid and balance it with what is best for our family as a whole. Being an adult is bullshit.

We could probably rate schools if you threw em up.

[TheEschaton]

I think it all depends on how severe his needs are, and how far into the backwoods the new place is.

[Androidpk]

Wouldn't it make more sense to sell your wife? Then you could stay in the same place and Bjorn's your uncle.

I like the way you think.

[Skeeter]

Most communities have good programs now. I'd take the job making more money. The more money you have the better opportunities your son will have anyway.

[leifastagsweed]

As someone who lives in an area with tragically lacking schools, I would say think twice and research your options FIRST. You are incredibly lucky to have the services you need for your son. My youngest is borderline special needs with some mild learning disabilities (which is almost worse in terms of appropriate services). I ended up homeschooling both my kids because the schools could not meet either of my children's needs (my eldest is exceptionally bright and they had no idea what to do with her, either!) I am considering the option of going back to a high paying office job in order to afford a private school that would better meet my youngest's needs. Kind of the flip side of your situation! That raise might not be such a great financial boost if you have to consider private education options. So I would encourage you to check out the school situation in the area you're looking to move and then make an educated decision that's best for your entire family. Just my two cents. :)

[DCSL]

and Bjorn's your uncle.

I'm pretty tired so I totally stared at this for a long minute trying to figure out what Hedensk's son had to do with it.

Thirding or fourthing the research of the area options.

[Latrinsorm]

I like the way you think.Just try it!!!

including leg shaving.

[Androidpk]

Just try it!!!

including leg shaving.

I actually did try it once a few years, wasn't to my liking. Too much of a hassle and served no purpose. I find it hard to believe you do it every day, I've yet to meet a single girl that does that.

[Delias]

I actually did try it once a few years, wasn't to my liking. Too much of a hassle and served no purpose. I find it hard to believe you do it every day, I've yet to meet a single girl that does that.

Shaved the left one once for a tattoo, and then shaved the right one because it felt weird having one shaved and one not.

[Stretch]

Is there going to be a meaningful improvement in cost of living? A modest salary boost becomes even more meaningful if you're talking Chicago vs. Every Town USA.

Figure out what your budget would look like with the new job compared to your current, and if it's not a slam dunk then I'd probably err on not uprooting the family.