ThePenisMightier

[Satira]

So here's my day.

I woke up because some drug dealer (who I don't know, obviously) called my cell phone and woke my ass up. He asked for Sheryl, and I'm NOT Sheryl.

I had an eye doctor appointment at 1:45, so I got ready for that. My eyes have been burning and I was thinking my vision had gotten worse, so I had made an appointment.

I had to read that stupid chart with the thing over my eye. The thing I hate about that is when they test the second eye they don't give you different letters, so you're obviously going to be able to make a better gues as to what the letters are, since your other eye just saw them.

The lady took me to the room and said we had to dialate my eyes, except then she looked at them. I have giant pupils and she decided we didn't even need to. The doctor commented on how big they were too. It's not the first time. I'm a freak.

Anyways, the doctor figured out I have no tear film on my eye, the part that protects the eye, so matter and particles in the area are flying directly onto my eyeball and that's why they're bothering me. I'm getting contacts in a couple of weeks, and I want to get the colored kind to make my eyes greener because right now they're green and gold.

I ran into a friend of mine from beauty school and made plans to go to a mutal friend's wedding together. Then I came home and watched Oprah. Who the hell knows why? Pretty soon I'll have 4 cats and be shuffling around in a flowery housecoat. Help!

Then I made my own shop in GS which was amusing for a while, but now I'm sick of that. I'll probably end up reading the 6th book in the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. It's SOOOOO good.

<end of my pointless day>

[Mistomeer]

Wait, someone's selling Penis Mightiers?

[HarmNone]

Does your penis need one, Mistomeer? :whistle:

HarmNone, not sure what one is but glad if a need is met

*Edited to add a word that went missing*

[Edited on 7-27-2004 by HarmNone]

[Mistomeer]

" Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?"

"Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen."

[HarmNone]

Satira, I think you have a taker on that penismightier! Sounds like the sky's the limit as far as pricing is concerned. Mistomeer REALLY wants one....Baaaad! :lol:

HarmNone just wants to see one

[Wezas]

<helpful>
Stop the LSD, your pupils will return to normal size.
</helpful>

Wezas, remembering the golden days of his youth.

[Weedmage Princess]

Originally posted by Wezas
Wezas, remembering the golden days of his youth.

:gawk: I'll have to save this in the archives...this with the admission in his LJ that he's friggin TWENTY-SIX--TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME--sack of shit :grr:

Satira, take pics with your new green eyes when you get the contacts. Hope the relief comes soon though...that sounds pretty uncomfortable..particles in your eyes ::shudder::

[Satira]

Mistomeer THANK YOU, someone got the Penis Mightier reference.

What matter is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis man?

I don't do LSD.

Here is day two so far...

I read tarot online for some random customer last night, which normally I love doing it, but this guy was getting on my last nerve. He asked for a general reading and halfway through the spread he decides he doesn't want to know about anything except his kids. KIDS KIDS KIDS KIDS.
I asked him before we started if he had a particular topic he wanted me to read on and he said, "no, general". That's what I did, but then he decides he only wants to know about his kids, so I had to do another half of a reading just to appease him.
This morning I talked to my best friend, ate half of a veggie sandwich, and putzed around online.

The eyedrops are helping.

I'll write more later, I know you're all just dying for me to.
:rolleyes:

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Weedmage Princess
:gawk: I'll have to save this in the archives...this with the admission in his LJ that he's friggin TWENTY-SIX--TWO YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME--sack of shit :grr:


The difference is, I look my age. You're giving Estelle Getty a run for her money.

Have you patented your wonderous penis mightier'er? I was wondering if you might have stocks of first edition girth mightiers (tm) for a friend of mine...

[Satira]

Here is a link to the SNL script that my title refers to.

http://planetwill.jt.org/media/transcripts/jeopardy2.html

[Weedmage Princess]

Whoa, you do tarot readings online? How does that work exactly?

And Wezas, you never even saw me so pphhbbttbb :bleh:

[Wezas]

Video of the PenisMightier (http://www.rockim.com/videos/celebrityjeopardy032099.ram)

[Satira]

THANK YOU WEZAS! I couldn't find it on a website, I have it on kazaa.

Yes I read tarot online, and I have a pretty good collection of regulars going now, but I always get that random person.

A full reading is 15 dollars, partial is 10, and a three card reading is 5. I only accept money through paypal which doesn't seem to be a problem. My pricing is incredibly reasonable, considering in a shop it's usually 30-60 for a reading, and most of the time you have some wacko named Hopeful Sunshine reading for you. Plus with me you don't have to leave your house.

It's a good time.

[Satira]

I have 100 pages left of my good book, and I'm probably going to read them tonight.

My lovely boyfriend called me from the Ours concert that he went to (that I couldn't go to) so I could listen to it over the phone. IT WAS GREAT! Yay him.

Right now my sugar glider is jumping around his cage and being really noisy. Earlier he was barking, but then I went in there and started talking to him and got him to stop.

I have some wacko appointment to go to at 10 in the morning, but I don't care I'm finishing my damn book!

Nerdy rebel!!!!

[Latrinsorm]

Aren't sugar gliders like squirrels? What does a squirrel barking sound like?

[Mistomeer]

Thank you so much for the link. I lost all my Celeb Jeopardy episodes.

"Febtober"
"What is Febturday?"

[Satira]

Sugar gliders are a marsupial. They aren't even related to squirrels. They look more like a chipmunk than a squirrel.

Bo, my sugar glider, doesn't have a companion with him, which most of them do. He was raised without one (I took him when he was a year old from a girl who was going to get rid of him) so I never got another one for him because he was already used to being by himself.

But since he doesn't have a girl in there he gets horny. They rub their scent gland on the top of their head to attract the girls, and since he doesn't have any girls he has a little bald spot up there from trying to attract the non-existant ladies.

It's normal in the males, so I don't worry about it. And also when they're horny, they bark. It sounds like a tiny puppy, but it is a bark. When I first got him I thought my dog was trying to jump on my bed, but it was him barking in his cage.

He's so cute.

[Satira]

Mm kay, so today I had to get up super early and go to some new counselor I'm seeing which went surprisingly well considering I don't like most of them. Then I went out to eat lunch with my mom. It was fun.

My best friend called me to go shopping, but I was so tired I just couldn't go. I asked her to stop by later, but I was unconscious when she did, so I missed that whole thing.

I rearranged our living room so now I'm not turned around from the rest of the room when I'm on the computer.

I watched the Ali G show tonight. OH MY GOD that episode was hilarious.

We also got a new printer that has a scanner, so I scanned my baby picture in and sent it to a few people. Scanners are fun!

[Satira]

I'm bored.

I want to go to the fabric store so I can buy some material to make pillows.

Okay, so let's say that there is someone who keeps talking to you on IM that you can't stand. Obviously, they really like talking to you and keep IMing you all the time. You don't want to talk to them anymore. The normal answer would be to block them, EXCEPT...they play GS. So they're going to KNOW that you blocked them.

How am I to handle this smichtuation??

[Edited on 7-30-2004 by Lady Satira]

[Latrinsorm]

Have a hamburger.

Ha! Ha! Little joke there. Ok. Serious advice: Tell the truth. If he/she gets bitchy, block.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Lady Satira
Okay, so let's say that there is someone who keeps talking to you on IM that you can't stand. Obviously, they really like talking to you and keep IMing you all the time. You don't want to talk to them anymore. The normal answer would be to block them, EXCEPT...they play GS. So they're going to KNOW that you blocked them.

How am I to handle this smichtuation??



Just tell him (Bobmuhthol) to get a life.

[Edited on 7-30-2004 by Wezas]

[Satira]

Oh my god! It isn't Bob!

It's probably some guy you people don't even know.

I really don't want to tell the truth, this guy seems kind of nutty...

I barely talked to him to begin with, I barely talk to him on IMs, and he still is stalking me.

Bodyguard volunteers?

[Mistomeer]

Just brush him off every time he IM's you. Maybe he'll take a hint.

[Edaarin]

Point them to this thread.

[Shari]

Originally posted by Lady SatiraBut since he doesn't have a girl in there he gets horny. They rub their scent gland on the top of their head to attract the girls, and since he doesn't have any girls he has a little bald spot up there from trying to attract the non-existant ladies.

That is the saddest and funniest thing I have ever heard.

Now, since you have a scanner you are obligated to post pictures.

[Satira]

You're right, I am.

Let's face it, I've been hot since the beginning.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v130/ThisOtherKingdom/baby.jpg

[ThisOtherKingdom]

Back dat ass up!