So dark and sexy...but so evil.

[Blazing247]

I have had a long and torrid love affair with a dark, smooth, innocuously named Jager. She and I have had a long standing agreement that when I am out at bars, I will not cheat on her and she will do me right every time. Well, last night the bitch did me wrong. SO WRONG.

I thought it a good idea to celebrate the 4th of July by visiting my old gal Jager nine or ten times in the course of two hours, and then proceeded to stumble around the bar and talk to every girl there. Well, Jager must have gotten jealous because she took away my self control and any shred of decency I had left.

I don't know what happened next, but when I regained consciousness, I was $120 poorer, I had three outgoing calls on my cell phone to a name and number I don't recall getting, and I have a red stain on my favorite shirt.

You ever watch that movie Memento? Yeah, that's last night for me. The guys I went with have been able to partly fill me in on the details.

1) I got so drunk I was slurring my words and stumbling around like an idiot (DUH).
2) I hooked up with two different girls, evidently one a pretty cute Latina. (I HAVE A THING FOR LATINA'S)
3) I then bought five girls (and two guys WTF) I didn't know a round of drinks and tipped the bartender $20. (OH MY GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID)
4) I fell to the ground. Hard. (EXPLAINS THE BRUISE)
5) I knocked over a chick carrying shots of Red Death. (EXPLAINS THE STAIN)
6) And the worst of all...after we left the bar I called the Latina chick...THREE TIMES and left a long voicemail every time. A SAPPY VOICEMAIL. CALLING HER BY THE WRONG NAME EVERY SINGLE TIME. (THEREFORE I R STALKER AND EVIDENTLY NOT EVEN A GOOD ONE)

In conclusion, JAGERMEISTER and I are breaking up after a long and productive relationship. I know there are a lot of other liquors out there, but she was special.

If anyone has similar stories about how this bitch did you wrong, let me know...


p.s. did I mention I work at this bar and am going to be ridiculed for a long, long time...

[Betheny]

Jagermeister got me drunk for the first time ever. I puked for days.

[Sean]

We threw a party in my dorm room a few years ago and had a beirut table setup. This girl who lived 2 doors down that my roommate had always had a crush on came and wanted to play, but she didn't want to have to drink any of the cups so she needed a partner willing. Anyway she was bashful about getting to the table. Then she finally asked my roommate to be her partner and play and he was like OMG yes, but alas it was too late, and things were winding down it was around 4ish, we had just finished the beer. So my roommate being the genius that he is decided he couldn't disapoint her and fills his cups with Jager. Needless to say the game was over quick, he lost, he drank all the cups of jager and proceeded to be one of the sickest men I've ever seen for the next day.

[Back]

Originally posted by Blazing247
I have had a long and torrid love affair with a dark, smooth, innocuously named Jager. She and I have had a long standing agreement that when I am out at bars, I will not cheat on her and she will do me right every time. Well, last night the bitch did me wrong. SO WRONG.

I thought it a good idea to celebrate the 4th of July by visiting my old gal Jager nine or ten times in the course of two hours, and then proceeded to stumble around the bar and talk to every girl there. Well, Jager must have gotten jealous because she took away my self control and any shred of decency I had left.

I don't know what happened next, but when I regained consciousness, I was $120 poorer, I had three outgoing calls on my cell phone to a name and number I don't recall getting, and I have a red stain on my favorite shirt.

You ever watch that movie Memento? Yeah, that's last night for me. The guys I went with have been able to partly fill me in on the details.

1) I got so drunk I was slurring my words and stumbling around like an idiot (DUH).
2) I hooked up with two different girls, evidently one a pretty cute Latina. (I HAVE A THING FOR LATINA'S)
3) I then bought five girls (and two guys WTF) I didn't know a round of drinks and tipped the bartender $20. (OH MY GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID)
4) I fell to the ground. Hard. (EXPLAINS THE BRUISE)
5) I knocked over a chick carrying shots of Red Death. (EXPLAINS THE STAIN)
6) And the worst of all...after we left the bar I called the Latina chick...THREE TIMES and left a long voicemail every time. A SAPPY VOICEMAIL. CALLING HER BY THE WRONG NAME EVERY SINGLE TIME. (THEREFORE I R STALKER AND EVIDENTLY NOT EVEN A GOOD ONE)

In conclusion, JAGERMEISTER and I are breaking up after a long and productive relationship. I know there are a lot of other liquors out there, but she was special.

If anyone has similar stories about how this bitch did you wrong, let me know...


p.s. did I mention I work at this bar and am going to be ridiculed for a long, long time...

Yeah, whenever I hit the Jager, I do stupid shit. Taquilla does me right though. Thats the only hard stuff I'll play with.

And Blazing? At least you didn't get a slap in the face.

[CrystalTears]

Tequila is the latin version of Jager. If you cheat on her, she'll screw you over hard. You have to be faithful to her or she'll have you face down on the sidewalk kissing it.

Tequila is all I ever drink anymore. The second I deviate from that I'm toast. Jager is the same way. I drink that all night and feel just smoooooooth. If I drink something else I'm a goner.

Jager is some strong and nasty stuff though. My best friend back home always has a cold bottle in his freezer waiting for a party to happen. Luckily it never got to the point that I hit on him. That I know of. :thinking:

[Blazing247]

<Tequila is the latin version of Jager. If you cheat on her, she'll screw you over hard. You have to be faithful to her or she'll have you face down on the sidewalk kissing it.>

Alas, Tequila and I had to go our separate ways many years ago. That is when I really got into Jager, and even purchased a Jager machine that produces ice cold shots and is a great conversation starter.

Of all the times I've ever blacked out from drinking, Tequila holds the lead, followed closely by Jack. :puke:

[ThisOtherKingdom]

Ooooh, one of my favorites. There was nothing better than when a buddy and I would split for a bottle of Jaegermiester. At the liquor store we worked at, it was $17.99 and we sold bottles nice and cold right out of the beer cooler. Deeeeeelicious!

We'd down that and then head for a bar. Man, I miss those days sometimes. I've never dropped that much at a bar, though. Especially on a tip! Eesh.

Jaeger isn't even that strong, really. From what I remember, it's only 30-35% alcohol/volume. The problem is that it's so easy to down a lot of it in a short amount of time. Same with tequila and a lime to suck on afterwards.

[Edited on 7-5-2004 by ThisOtherKingdom]

[Ravenstorm]

Peppermint schnapps is another bad one. While it taste quite nice going down it is truly horrific coming back up.

Raven

[Blazing247]

<Peppermint schnapps is another bad one. While it taste quite nice going down it is truly horrific coming back up. >

Yeah, add that to the list, too. Liquid Heroin is my favorite mixed shot. 1 part Jaeger, 1 part (this is where it varies depending on bar) Goldschlagger/Rumpleminze, and it's topped off with 151 which is lit on fire. Drink four of these and I promise you will not remember the rest of the night.

[Vesi]

Before I resigned myself to only ales and wine, tequila was my drink of choice. Only shots with lime and salt. (unless I was on vacation and had a Bloody Maria or two to start off the day)

I remember one Fourth of July campout we injected lots of fruits with different liquors and chilled them. Like oranges with vodka in them and of course limes with tequila in them. I would cut the lime in half and eat most of it and then pour tequila in my halves and drink them. Repeat with a couple more limes. I was druuunk! (nothing like waking up hung over in 100 + temps.)

However, as years passed, I somehow got to where I couldn't tolerate it. I would end up commode hugging everytime, so I stopped. Ah... those were the days, before it started making me sick.

Also, Mezcal (sort of a relative of tequila) can make me see colors. I remember drinking lots of that when my sister was in college in San Marcos, TX. Never would eat the worm though.

Vesi

[Meos]

Jager is good, Tequila is better, but I'm a whiskey man.

Had many a rough night drinkin Jager though.... and vodka... and well... alot of things.

[Mint]

Heh:

For the heavy drinkers out there click here (http://www.hahahumor.com/funny-songs/dearpenis.htm)

[Souzy]

Never got tore up from Jager. Tequilla yes, Jager no. Thank God you don't remember it though, wow. Talk about sounding like an ass, leaving a msg. on a hot chicks phone and calling her by the wrong name, lolz. :banghead:

[DianaBanana]

Rum is my friend and my enemy. :cheers:

[Satira]

I've only had a couple of run-ins with Jagermeister because I hate the way it tastes.

One time was in NY with one of my best friend's at a bar. We kept getting offered drinks for free, and most of them (I think) had jager in them. I ended up letting her give me a hickey (to get MORE drinks) then she FLASHED the entire place we were at several times, and I vaguely remember puking on the highway. It was by far the worst experience I've had with that particular liquor.

It tastes like Nyquil.

[Anebriated]

That is when I really got into Jager, and even purchased a Jager machine that produces ice cold shots and is a great conversation starter.

So will you be needing the 'Jagerator'(jager tap machine)?

[Blazing247]

Shit, that puppy cost me $350. It will be cremated with me when I die.

Jeigermeister straight actually gets rid of an upset stomach for me.

But that don't matter since I'd rather have a cabernet with so much bite it'll make my mustache curl. I like the taste of tanin (sp?)

[Sean]

I have a lot more bad stories with tequila than jager.

[Skirmisher]

I don't have alot of bad stories at all. :shrug:

I may need to drink much more.

Untill then keep all of yours coming! It's quite entertaining!:beer:

[Blazing247]

I have dozens of hilarious stories (at my expense) of the things that happen to me when I black out. My friends purposely buy me shot after shot because they want to see what Johnny Blazing will do next. It's actually kinda sad, and the reason I don't drink so much anymore. Some of the stories you'd call me a bold faced liar if I told you.

[Marl]

MMMMMMMM, Jager, we went to a club one night, and I decided to play with Jager, would order 1 beer and 2 shots of Jager, after around 10 times of doing this.........I checked my pockets and found out she had drained me of over $350 (tips, buying others drinks etc) I was so upset a friend started buying me Jose shots....15 min later the rim of a nasty toilet loved my kisses!
Also, word of advice, never drink 2 pints of Jager within 10 minutes, drive home, and expect to stay awake more than 30 minutes. It just doesnt work

Tequila stories about stomach pumping, alcohol poisoning and projectile vomiting will come on another date.

[Faent]

>>Also, word of advice, never drink 2 pints of Jager within 10 minutes, drive home, and expect to stay awake more than 30 minutes. It just doesnt work -Marluxian

Thanks for the brilliant advice.

-Scott

[longshot]

I turned 21, and school had already let out for break.

Me, a few close friends, and anyone else around the frat rolled up to the bar where a bunch of people in my house worked.

The bar specialty drink was a large bowl of cheap liquors with a bunch of straws for like 5 or 6 people to suck down.

It wasn't so crowded that night becuase of break, so the bartenders who were friends of mine made a "Jaeger Bowl". It was a bowl of Redbull and Jaegermiester...

At 9:30 the next morning, I was still wide awake and still plastered.

Every truly awful drinking story I have involves Jack though...

[DeV]

Tequila caused me to do things to a male stripper I would have NEVER done otherwise. She also caused me to have a 24 hour hangover the next day. We are no longer friends. Blazing, the funny part is that you work there.
:drunk: