Study: Men happiest with partner's positive emotions, women happiest with negative

[Drew]

Headline hard to make entirely accurate, here you go:


It pays to accentuate the negative (at least for guys): Alternately, appearances matter. This study looked at the role of empathy for couples in committed relationships. One of the things it found was it's more important to look like you care than to get things right. In research jargon, that's "The perception of empathic effort by one's partner was more strongly linked with both men's and women's relationship satisfaction than empathic accuracy." There was a difference between the sexes: men were happiest when they connected with their partner's positive emotions, but women had the most satisfaction in their relationship when the guys accurately recognized their negative emotions. Sounds like a recipe for disappointment.


http://psycnet.apa.org/?&fa=main.doiLanding&doi=10.1037/a0027488

[Drew]

What I take from this is that men are happy with the relationship when they hear about something their woman has accomplished and woman are happiest when their man agrees that Rhonda from the office is a total bitch.

[Gelston]

http://www.anvari.org/db/fun/Gender/Proof_that_Girls_are_Evil.jpg

[Back]

What I take from this is that men are happy with the relationship when they hear about something their woman has accomplished and woman are happiest when their man agrees that Rhonda from the office is a total bitch.

Actually I think it means men respond more when a woman shows a positive emotion and women respond more when a man shows a negative emotion.

Case in point. I work in the service industry and had to deal with a woman who was dissatisfied with our service. I apologized a hundred times, offered other solutions, tried to identify with her and tell her I understood, but my delivery was very stoic. In those situations I guard showing my feelings on the outside so she was not convinced that I was at all sincere to the point she told me that she thought I did not understand the situation at all.

I was entirely sincere up to that point. When she made that comment, in my head I said, "Ok, I tried, fuck this bitch." and moved on to other things that needed my attention.

Had I been weeping, cowering, and bending over backward to show that I was genuinely distraught over the matter she might have been satisfied and moved on with her life.

[AnticorRifling]

How is that a case in point to anything?

[diethx]

How is that a case in point to anything?

Because clearly, the interaction and dynamic between two people in an intimate, involved relationship is just like when Backlash apologizes to a customer for their burger being overcooked.

[Back]

Here's a hint. Read the article.

[Parkbandit]

Backlash is the last person I would listen to when it comes to understanding women.

[Rinualdo]

Backlash is the last person I would listen to when it comes to understanding women.

To be fair, there are a lot of close seconds on this board. (one dot!)

[Bhaalizmo]

This article does not surprise me.

Bishes are crayzeh. Not saying I'm not crayzeh too, just sayin.

[Liagala]

and woman are happiest when their man agrees that Rhonda from the office is a total bitch.
It means that girls want you to notice when they're upset, and demonstrate in some (clear and unmistakable) way that you care about their bad mood, and want them to be happy. Bonus points if you know (or at least figure out relatively quickly) why we're upset. "Hi honey, how was wor... Oh, I can see you had a bad day. Was that bitch Rhonda on your case again?" (This says, "Hi honey, I care about you. I pay attention to your reactions to things, and because of this, I noticed that you're upset. I also care enough to pay attention to what you say, and I remember that Rhonda pisses you off. I want you to be happy, so I'm asking you about this in the hope that I can cheer you up.")

Just agreeing that Rhonda is a total bitch requires that the woman first bring the subject up - if I have to say it, then you didn't notice I was upset.

[Drew]

Actually according to the study being correct about the empathy didn't matter so much as expressing any sort of empathy. So If I asked "Was Rhonda a bitch again?" when in fact you were upset about something else entirely I'd get credit for realizing you were angry about something. According to science.

[Tgo01]

Women expect men to be mind readers. It took a study to figure this out?

[Liagala]

Actually according to the study being correct about the empathy didn't matter so much as expressing any sort of empathy. So If I asked "Was Rhonda a bitch again?" when in fact you were upset about something else entirely I'd get credit for realizing you were angry about something. According to science.
I didn't read the article, but this is accurate. Just noticing that we're upset says that you care enough to pay attention, and earns you points. I outlined the storybook-ideal situation, but noticing is the most important part of it. People pay attention to things they care about.

[AnticorRifling]

I didn't read the article, but this is accurate. Just noticing that we're upset says that you care enough to pay attention, and earns you points. I outlined the storybook-ideal situation, but noticing is the most important part of it. Men pay attention to things that will sex them.

Excellent closing sentence.

[Bhaalizmo]

Women expect men to be mind readers. It took a study to figure this out?

I bet some woman somewhere is pissed off at some guy for having to do this study to figure it out. He should've just known.

[Atlanteax]

Women expect men to be mind readers. It took a study to figure this out?

Heh

[Warriorbird]

I bet some woman somewhere is pissed off at some guy for having to do this study to figure it out. He should've just known.

/thread

[4a6c1]

loooooooool

http://i682.photobucket.com/albums/vv183/rojodisco/internetguys.jpg

[Drunken Durfin]

http://drunkendurfin.webs.com/YUBHATIN.jpg