Sexual equations.

[longshot]

Feel free to argue, critique, and add your own to the debate.

The rule of sexual pursuit:

(the percieved gratification of having sex with said person) -(The amount of time, attention, and money until sex) - (The bullshit you will endure after sex) = ?

If this is a positive number, then you go for it.

Often overlooked by amatures is the "Post sexual bullshit" portion of the equation. DO NOT overlook this!!


The Chappelle Law of Male Fantasy

The maximum number of male genitalia in a heterosexual male fantasy = 1


The modified whore index

(Number of people you have slept with) - (your age) = ?

If this number is greater than zero, then you have been busy at some point in your life.


Arm girth and scrummability-- also known as Longshot's theorm.

(Thickness of your arm) - (Thickness of potential partner's arm) = ?

If the answer is a negative number, then just be friends.

Note--!! Amatures tend to use alcohol as a convenient excuse to ingore Lognshot's theorm. Ignoring Longshot's theorm may cause bridges to collapse, regional climate catastrophe, and embarrassment that you will regret until you die.


I have a few others, but I figure this will start the debate...

[Wezas]

I have a low whore index. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing.

Longshot's theorm is very amusing. Just remember, big girls are like mopeds (or razor scooters in Ben's case)....

[Weedmage Princess]

WTF MEN HAVE A MATHEMATICAL FORMULA FOR THIS BS?!?!?!?! :no:

[Artha]

There's a mathematical formula for everything.

[Chadj]

Yes.

[Weedmage Princess]

It also disturbs me that I'm the only female looking at this thread:

Members viewing this page: Chadj, longshot, LordAdredrin, norn5k, Weedmage Princess

...I think I'll take my leave now, yes...

[longshot]

No, no, no... just having fun.

Except for Longshot's theorm.

That one is for real.

[Chadj]

Stop replying.. I put the "Alert me when replied to" button on by mistake.. wait for me to turn it off :'(

[Chadj]

You may now continue to post :)

[DeV]

You left too soon Weedie...

Longshot, does your theorm work for you?

[Weedmage Princess]

And I came back. Does this make me a masochist?

[Artha]

I think the Chapelle Law is pretty true.

[longshot]

Chadj Law

[(2 minutes to complete "punishing little Chadj") + (2 * the number of times "little Chadj" has already been punished this day) + (30 seconds to open internet connection) + (1 minute for "cleanup")] - (Time before parent's come home)= X

If X is positive, then incease U by one, where U is the increasing pile of crusty socks.



Now with smiley goodness disabled.

[Edited on 6-19-2004 by longshot]

[Latrinsorm]

I tend to ignore Longshot's Theorem, but I'm lanky.

edit: also longshot's last post would be 100x better if he disabled smileys.

[Edited on 6-18-2004 by Latrinsorm]

[SnatchWrangler]

Originally posted by longshot

Arm girth and scrummability-- also known as Longshot's theorm.

(Thickness of your arm) - (Thickness of potential partner's arm) = ?

If the answer is a negative number, then just be friends.

Note--!! Amatures tend to use alcohol as a convenient excuse to ingore Lognshot's theorm. Ignoring Longshot's theorm may cause bridges to collapse, regional climate catastrophe, and embarrassment that you will regret until you die.


I have a few others, but I figure this will start the debate...

My buddies and I had a saying back in highschool along the same lines.

"Never let your girlfriend outweigh you."

Nothing good can come of it.

[Sean]

With a name like "snatch" wrangler how can you not take his advice?

[Galleazzo]

Whore index, huh? I'm a ways off from the plus column there.

I remember visiting a guy in college. First semester sophomore. He said, and I believe it, that he'd nailed 52 women since his freshman year started. I never socialized with the guy again. Damn, did he even remember their NAMES? (Did he ever know their names in the first place?)

I like sex as the next guy, but fuck, women are something more than throw away pieces of anonymous ass.

[Ilvane]

Amen, Gallezzo. :clap:

:grin:

-A

[DeV]

Originally posted by Galleazzo
Whore index, huh? I'm a ways off from the plus column there.

I remember visiting a guy in college. First semester sophomore. He said, and I believe it, that he'd nailed 52 women since his freshman year started. I never socialized with the guy again. Damn, did he even remember their NAMES? (Did he ever know their names in the first place?)

I like sex as the next guy, but fuck, women are something more than throw away pieces of anonymous ass. :yes2: Well said Galleazzo.

[Sean]

Do you have that story saved as a template somewhere?

[Back]

Men like that are probably more likely to become lifetime bachelors. Come to think of it, women like that are probably likely to end up alone as well.

[Hulkein]

Originally posted by Tijay
Do you have that story saved as a template somewhere?

hahahahahahaha

[Anebriated]

Do you have that story saved as a template somewhere?

heh, first thing i did when i read his post was look up at the date to see if this was a bumped thread...

[Xcalibur]

Originally posted by Backlash
Men like that are probably more likely to become lifetime bachelors. Come to think of it, women like that are probably likely to end up alone as well.

Eh... Most of my friends and I were defenders of being bachelor for obvious reasons.

It's fun, very fun, but as most things, you get tired and want more.

[longshot]

The grass is always greener somewhere else.

Chris Rock, as always, stated it beautifully.

"Married and bored, or single and lonely".


We need to come up with the "law of sexual disclosure".

If a girl starts asking weird questions about your experience, what do you telll her?

Girls, we wouldn't have to lie if you didn't asked questions you don't want to hear the answers to.

Remember this, and you will live a happy life.

[Edited on 6-20-2004 by longshot]

[SpunGirl]

Sexual disclosure laws go for guys asking women questions, as well. If it happened before I met you, why do you care?

-K

[Nakiro]

Originally posted by SpunGirl
Sexual disclosure laws go for guys asking women questions, as well. If it happened before I met you, why do you care?

-K

Some people want to know because they want to find out what type of person you are by your history.

[Nakiro]

I thought I'd throw in a joke that I heard awhile ago.

Sex is a good application of math. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, devied the legs, and multiply the fun.

[SpunGirl]

I guess that's true, Nakiro (about the history bit). But some people ask questions that have answers they really don't want to hear. Not only that, someone is not always defined by their past actions.... or past mistakes, whatever.

-K

[Galleazzo]

Originally posted by Tijay
Do you have that story saved as a template somewhere? Why, you need it engraved so you can keep referring to it? Sure, knock yourself out.

No reason to invent anecdotes to cover "guys who rack up totals of the gals they've nailed just to rack up totals are pigs" when I got a perfectly good one. I never knew a guy who was more of a dickweed over it. Want there to be one that bad?

:rolleyes:

[Weedmage Princess]

I'm with Nakiro on this one, same reasons. Also, I have a strict rule about used/damaged goods. I won't have anything to do with a guy who was involved in any way, shape or form with a friend and/or family member, even if it was just a one night deal. Either it's fresh and new or I don't want it.

[NotRangerD]

Heh, Yes, history is important it lets us know if a girl has been in a gang bang 500 or not.

[SpunGirl]

OK, that kind of history I can see needing to know about. That's fucking gross. Also, any guy who has participated in something like that, I'd like to know.

-K