06-16-2004, 02:12 AM
About half a year ago, I got a suprising call from a lofty group of individuals known only as, "The Independent Party."
It seemed to be a run-of-the-mill survey while you're eating dinner with your family kind of thing...
I remember talking with them, in an uninterested tone, waiting for them to get tired and "call me back." - Instead, no matter how distracted and disinterested I sounded, the reply on the receiver was filled with love, laughter and a constant, "I agree."
Eventually, after somehow mentioning all my political views, or lack thereof to the caffinated operator, I hung up the phone and forgot about it.
Less than 24 hours later, another call from the Party, quoting word-for-word, things I must have mentioned to the previous operator without even realizing it.
Eventually, I somehow slipped and mentioned the fact that my school is pretty hardcore liberal (not that I am.) - This time the operator told me to be expecting a call from an important representitive from the Party.
After a few days of "Yes/No's" on the phone to these people, they politely informed me that by answering their petty questions, I was PRACTICALLY a member.
When I began to make it clear that I did not wish to sign proxies, I was prompted to meet up at City Hall in order to do the right thing for the good of the party :sigh:
So, after mysteriously missing my appearances, the Party proxies arrived in overnight UPS to my place of residence. I quickly filled out the papers and returned them to the sender(s).
I thought this would suffice, but sadly, I was even bombarded more dramatically by prozac-infested operators.
Day by day, as my knowledge in politics shrunk, and the phone calls increased, I was notified that something, whatever it be that I had done, had now made me a Member of the Independent party committee.
I was now "obliged" to attend city meetings as well as lie about reading all the political paperwork I had begun to become overwhelmed with.
Then, last week, the City Hall Notary had taken such a keen interest in my aptitude for understanding their cause, that she arranged to meet me at the Independent quarters in the Village. - I strangely missed this appointment too.
I then received calls from the notary about how happy she was that I was fullfilling my active duties of being a member of the State Party, that instead of the subtext of my never going to her meetings, she took the time out of her busy schedule to meet with me later on in the week - (TODAY.) And just help me in on a little more wonderful paperwork.
When she arrived, I entered the most wonderful trance of nodding my head and saying "Yes," without seemingly moving my lips.
I then was happily informed that because of all my service to the Independent movement, I was now promoted to Committeeman of the Independence Party State Committee.
My mouth began to drool as she mentioned the benefits of my 4 hour non-paid trips to Albany, which I am now bound by some stupid government contract to attend. - I began to pinch myself as she explained that I would get to meet famous heroes such as Chuck Schumer and Lenora Fulani, not to mention attending a banquet with Bloomberg (douche) to speak out against bi-partisan elections (the one topic I have actually learned about, as well as agreed with it so far.)
After politely explaining that I had to leave in 5 minutes to catch the bus to my summer courses (while not explaining that the bantering had made me 10 minutes late,) I was given a beautifully crafted piece of looseleaf paper to confirm all my benefits in the aforementioned.
...
Please, how do I get out?
It seemed to be a run-of-the-mill survey while you're eating dinner with your family kind of thing...
I remember talking with them, in an uninterested tone, waiting for them to get tired and "call me back." - Instead, no matter how distracted and disinterested I sounded, the reply on the receiver was filled with love, laughter and a constant, "I agree."
Eventually, after somehow mentioning all my political views, or lack thereof to the caffinated operator, I hung up the phone and forgot about it.
Less than 24 hours later, another call from the Party, quoting word-for-word, things I must have mentioned to the previous operator without even realizing it.
Eventually, I somehow slipped and mentioned the fact that my school is pretty hardcore liberal (not that I am.) - This time the operator told me to be expecting a call from an important representitive from the Party.
After a few days of "Yes/No's" on the phone to these people, they politely informed me that by answering their petty questions, I was PRACTICALLY a member.
When I began to make it clear that I did not wish to sign proxies, I was prompted to meet up at City Hall in order to do the right thing for the good of the party :sigh:
So, after mysteriously missing my appearances, the Party proxies arrived in overnight UPS to my place of residence. I quickly filled out the papers and returned them to the sender(s).
I thought this would suffice, but sadly, I was even bombarded more dramatically by prozac-infested operators.
Day by day, as my knowledge in politics shrunk, and the phone calls increased, I was notified that something, whatever it be that I had done, had now made me a Member of the Independent party committee.
I was now "obliged" to attend city meetings as well as lie about reading all the political paperwork I had begun to become overwhelmed with.
Then, last week, the City Hall Notary had taken such a keen interest in my aptitude for understanding their cause, that she arranged to meet me at the Independent quarters in the Village. - I strangely missed this appointment too.
I then received calls from the notary about how happy she was that I was fullfilling my active duties of being a member of the State Party, that instead of the subtext of my never going to her meetings, she took the time out of her busy schedule to meet with me later on in the week - (TODAY.) And just help me in on a little more wonderful paperwork.
When she arrived, I entered the most wonderful trance of nodding my head and saying "Yes," without seemingly moving my lips.
I then was happily informed that because of all my service to the Independent movement, I was now promoted to Committeeman of the Independence Party State Committee.
My mouth began to drool as she mentioned the benefits of my 4 hour non-paid trips to Albany, which I am now bound by some stupid government contract to attend. - I began to pinch myself as she explained that I would get to meet famous heroes such as Chuck Schumer and Lenora Fulani, not to mention attending a banquet with Bloomberg (douche) to speak out against bi-partisan elections (the one topic I have actually learned about, as well as agreed with it so far.)
After politely explaining that I had to leave in 5 minutes to catch the bus to my summer courses (while not explaining that the bantering had made me 10 minutes late,) I was given a beautifully crafted piece of looseleaf paper to confirm all my benefits in the aforementioned.
...
Please, how do I get out?