View Full Version : sigh..

06-08-2004, 10:07 PM
I started dating somone in gemstone... and I really like them... etc. Anyway.. he recently told me he is very sick irl with cancer... and that he wants me to know this because he might disapear one day over it because he gets really sick from time to time and he quit gemstone before over it and wanted me to know it before my charachter gets really close to him ... I'm really flustered cuz I don't know what to do :(

06-08-2004, 10:09 PM
Stop dating people in GemStone.

06-08-2004, 10:11 PM
Bob will you date me?

06-08-2004, 10:14 PM
Yeah this is really helping, thanks alot guys.

06-08-2004, 10:26 PM
in all honesty, do what your heart feels, if your too scared to go through, explain to him, if your to compassionate and caring to do that, then understand and prepare for what may become. All in all do what your heart feels.

06-08-2004, 10:26 PM
Have fun with him in game, and then one day if he just "poofs" for no reason and you dont see him again, hope for the best and know you gave him a little happiness on his way out.

06-08-2004, 10:29 PM
For once I'm with Bob. There comes a point in most people's (hopefully) lives where you find the mere concept of being with someone in a text based role-playing game simply isn't something you should be wasting your time with. Unfortunately, there are plenty of older people around who do in fact have relationships with others, and some might even be married to other people, which I think is quite unhealthy. Anyway, Soulpieced says no on Gemstone relationships. Go out and find a real man instead of some phigment of your imagination.

[Edited on 6-10-2004 by Soulpieced]

06-08-2004, 10:32 PM
Have fun with him in game, and then one day if he just "poofs" for no reason and you dont see him again, hope for the best and know you gave him a little happiness on his way out.

What he said.

06-08-2004, 10:33 PM
I agree with Marluxian, show him a good time. Make his time spent in game a fun one!

06-08-2004, 10:37 PM
Gotta agree with Marluxian, Artha and the Royal Rodent, Snapp here. Just have fun while he's here, and remember that a positive outlook is supposed to be extremely important in treating cancer. So it could help too.


06-08-2004, 10:38 PM
don't start IG relationships?

06-08-2004, 10:40 PM
Thanks SP but I have a man and I have no trouble with RL relationships. And I find nothing wrong with a gemstone relationship at all. I find role playing a relationship makes the game alot more fun to me personally. Merchants and hunting only go so far... heh.

06-08-2004, 10:40 PM
I think that if you really feel for him at least stay as a friend. Im with SP and have a big NO for GS relationships, but i think Marluxian speaks some truth. While you dont have to be there as a girlfriend or wife in game for him you could be there as a friend.

06-08-2004, 10:51 PM
So if hunting and merchants only go so far, why not NOT play and spend more time with your boyfriend rather than being bored in Gemstone? Food for thought.

06-08-2004, 10:54 PM

He wanted sympathy, you are giving him, he must be happy.

To stop being a prick and become a bit more humain: Tell him to scram, as there is too much information there.

You never know if people are manipulating you or not and even if he doesn't, no one needs to live a mortal desease like that with someone you are suppose to ahve fun with, only.

06-08-2004, 10:59 PM
Originally posted by Celexei
Bob will you date me?

Don't you have to be a 50 year old woman to have a shot with Bob?

06-08-2004, 11:04 PM
I spend plenty of time with my man, but with school ontop of my scheduale and work, and him having school, work and his band... ever heard of conflicting scheduales? I don't understand where you are going with it.

06-08-2004, 11:07 PM
How about using your JUDGEMENT for once?

I mean, you are feeling bad? GO!

You want to help him? HELP HIM



06-08-2004, 11:07 PM
You're attached to text.

06-08-2004, 11:23 PM
Cancer is no joke. But to avoid getting hurt, I'd say cut yourself off. But if your heart is big, then go for it.

06-08-2004, 11:42 PM
He shouldn't start an IG relationship if he knows his situation will will get worse.

Your already stressing yourself over it, and if thats the case then you should probably not go ahead with it. Real feelings can and probably will be affected in the end.

06-09-2004, 12:29 AM
If this guy poofs, her character will be getting a lot more sleep.

I roleplay a peeping tom.

06-09-2004, 12:40 AM
Heh, I knew a guy like that. I recently discovered he's back online, but I haven't IMed him....he supposedly had cancer.....was gone for like a year, this past time.

The initials of his AIM name aren't HB, are they?


06-09-2004, 01:01 AM
Yeah they are

06-09-2004, 01:03 AM
Muahahaha, then I know him, I think. He go to Julliard? Play a brass instrument? (which can be inferred from his SN?).

He's a good guy.


06-09-2004, 01:16 AM
Don't dwell on it.

06-09-2004, 01:18 AM
Yup same guy.

06-09-2004, 09:22 AM
Go with your heart. If your characters mesh and you get along well as players, I say stick with him. It's a tough situation and no doubt it will effect you outside of the game as well but that doesn't mean you should cut your heart out of your roleplay. It's all rewarding in the end. I like the way my feelings in roleplay effect me personally. It can help us grow. Compassion for a player in a game is not a bad thing.

[Edited on 9/6/2004 by Sweets]

06-09-2004, 10:39 AM
When you say you are "Dating" a guy in Gemstone.. and you have a guy at home... what do you mean?

You are roleplaying that you are dating him?

06-09-2004, 10:42 AM
"I have just one dying wish..."


06-09-2004, 10:45 AM
Online relationships rarely work out the way you want them to.

Stick with real relationships, would be my advice.

06-09-2004, 10:47 AM
Yes role playing a relationship. Good grief. If one more person incinuates that I dont have a strong relatoinship with my rl man (shawn) I'm gonna snap! lol

06-09-2004, 10:50 AM
What those of us who have said in game relationships are dumb are trying to say is that it appears as if something IS lacking if you find the need to have a "fake" relationship with someone in a text-based fantasy world while at the same time maintaining a healthy relationship with a real person.

06-09-2004, 12:42 PM
Is it pathetic for actors to act in a movie with someone else as their romantic interest?

When I speak of relationships in game it's for this purpose. Roleplay (much like acting). My life lacks nothing. I have a great husband, an amazing son and a job I adore. When I have some free time I like to put on plays with other people inside a game. It's my hobby.

I think Jenisi is thinking along much the same lines. (Correct me if I am wrong Jenisi).

My take on relationships in game may be different it seems then the ones who think it's pathetic. Even then, on the other side of the text there are people. It's not computer generated...therefore not all that fake. It's separating the character from the player that can get a bit sticky I suppose. I feel I have a good handle on that. I believe most people here do.

[Edited on 9/6/2004 by Sweets]

06-09-2004, 04:26 PM
If it's just a role-playing relationship, I don't see what the problem is. Elanthia is a dangerous place. Anyone could just disappear at any time. A given character could wander away, get kidnapped by Krolvin, be rifted into another galaxy....you name it, it could happen in Elanthia. So, if you're roleplaying with someone, and that someone disappears, it's not all that difficult to write it into your "play" and roll with it, in my opinion.

Problems arise when OOG feelings begin to override in-game feelings, and the player becomes the one involved, more so than the character. Depending on the depth of the roleplay, that could get sticky. :)


06-09-2004, 04:40 PM
Let's not start passing judgements on people with game relationships please. :nono:

Not everyone has problems separating the game from reality, and not everyone has them for romantical reasons, it's just to go along with the story of your character progressing through life.

The ones who gain relationships in game for lack thereof out of game are different yet still not as "pathetic" as some may say, since I would find it no different than going to a chat room, a bar, or the laudromat to meet a person.

I can understand how Jenisi feels though. Sometimes you find someone that you roleplay and get along with so well in the game that it breaks your heart to see them go.

I felt that way about my first in-game husband and my empath's father. Those two made the game so much fun for me and they were great roleplayers. I missed them until my last GS typing day. I always wished they would return. I still talk to them both when they're online and we talk of those days often. People that don't have to make all their ingame relationships into real ones are not always easy to find and hold onto.

Just roleplay together until you can't anymore and hang onto the memories. :)

06-10-2004, 12:01 AM
Definatly along those same lines, CT.

06-10-2004, 12:30 AM
I don't think I could ever date a chick who played Gemstone. Then again, I'm an undercover nerd and I always pretend like I don't know anything about computers or games when trying to get ass.