4a6c1
08-08-2011, 10:35 AM
This is on the facebook group and it's pretty funny. It might have been posted here before but if not, here's a proper thread for it.
------------------------------
Topic Pacific Time Zone (11)
Message The Wreckage Was Large
By PRESTIUS@PLAY.NET
Disclaimer: This post is the way it really happened. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. No names were changed to assist in identifying the guilty. Most of the quotes were actually said during the weekend at some point!
...
Welcome Back!
[You are currently drunk]
[Excalibur Hotel - Nexus] -You are standing in the middle of a casino. The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. You see rows of blackjack tables and slot machines stretching to the horizon in each direction. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. The press of bodies jostles your drink. Also here: an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a hideous DR Gamemaster [currently drooling], an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a horde of midget gymnasts, a lost soccer team, and an ugly tourist. Obvious exits: Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, Southeast.
DRUNK> NW
You stagger Northwest.
[Excalibur Hotel - Jesters Lounge] - This is the infamous Jester's Lounge. Sort of a Town Square Central, it is the meeting point for all manner of casino dweller, lounge rat, and the occasional GS Gamer. The bar here is staffed with friendly trolls that occasionally get your drink order correct of the first try. A bartender named Sparky ignores you. You notice something writhing on the floor. Also here: a drunk Rhaindrop, a drunk Bledixia, a drunk Bandor, a drunk Shadowkatt, a drunk Danay, a drunk Pelender, a drunk Rhys, a drunk Asineth, a drunk Niilo [invisible], a drunk Teegra, a drunk Jandria, a sniveling DR gamer, a drunk Mirare, a drunk Barquentine, a drunk VirtosAemergenTaalten and a drunk Turran.
DRUNK> look floor
On the floor you see Quaavy, laying in a pool of his own urine. He seems to have some sort of tool imbedded almost completely in his forehead. A group of GS Gamers are attempting to hide their obvious smiles .. and guilt.
Asineth says "..... even if I'm bleeding from every orifice."
A bar patron turns pale.
A bar patron snorts whiskey out of his nose.
A midget gymnast faints dead on the floor.
* A midget gymnast bites the dust!
> look on bar
On the bar you see a shot of tequila, a shot of tequila, a shot of tequila, a salt shaker, 3 limes, 25 empty shotglasses, 16 sqeezed limes, a beer, a jar of Steve's Pickles, a beer, a beer, a huge Warp Factor 69 drink system (covering half of the bar), a beer, a beer with a "P" floating in it and a shot of butterscotch schnapps.
> take beer
You grab a bottle of beer from the bar, nearly knocking three other bottles over in the process.
> drink beer
Ahhh .. refreshing!
DRUNK>Danay looks at Teegra
Danay begins to speak so impossibly fast that you have no hope of understanding what she is saying.
DRUNK> Say "Hmm ... she's having another vowel movement"
You grin stupidly.
Teegra greedily sucks down The Warp Drink of Serious Proportion
Rhaindrop says "That was a really big suck"
Someone says, "Look, she's sucking four at once"
Rhaindrop says "Suck my toe!"
For some reason, Sylvine exclaims, "I like Steve's Pickle!"
Asineth offers Shadowkatt a piece of chocolate.
Shadowkatt declines.
Shadowkatt says, "I don't like chocolate"
Asineth says, "You'd like it if you saw it on me!"
Harmonius says, "I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and show you what the big boys do"
Asineth covers her mouth.
DRUNK> rub Asineth
You rub Asineth's back.
Asineth says, "Try doing that to me when I'm laying down!"
DRUNK> grin
You drool.
Jemstra scowls at you.
Jemstra asks "Prestius, did you pee in this Lemonade?"
DRUNK> mutter
You mutter something about the difference between Pee and "P"'s.
DRUNK> snort
You take a shot of tequila from the bar and down it in one fluid motion.
DRUNK > say 'Now there's a verb I really like!
You say, "Blather blurble bliff I blinkle!"
Pelendur smiles knowingly.
Pelendur takes his 24th shot of tequila and pours it in his ear.
VirtosAemergenTaalten look like they are ready to go to War. Or is that play War?
Without warning, Rhaindrop unzips her skirt , turns around, and shows the entire bar, hotel staff, midget gymnast team, and a horde of Japanese tourists the tattoo on her "lower back area".
* Another midget gymnast bites the dust.
Asineth concentrates and her chest looks better (as if that's possible).
Sassee says, "I'm jealous that Empaths can concentrate and make their chests look better".
Sassee sighs deeply.
Sassee exclaims, "But! .. *I* can make my box vibrate"
Sassee winks.
DRUNK> say ".. and *I* can make your box vibrate from across the room!"
You say, "Blig *I* blimper splunge splurgle plink blot!"
DRUNK> think
Get real.
Turran smile sweetly at Asineth
Asineth decks Turran for no perceptible reason, again.
Bledixia adjusts her "Don't even think about it, I have way more hitpoints that you can imagine" button.
Bandor pulls a money clip from his beard.
Bandor asks, "Well Bledixia, are we going to gamble, or conceive another Simubaby?"
Teegra strokes your hair. As she does, a Blackjack Dealer walks up and hands you several black gaming chips for some unknown reason.
DRUNK> SE
You stagger Southeast.
[Excalibur Hotel - Nexus] You are standing in the middle of a casino. The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. You see rows of blackjack tables and slot machines stretching to the horizon in each direction. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. The press of bodies jostles your drink. Also here: an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a hideous DR Gamemaster [currently attempting to jam his entire index finger up his nose], an ugly tourist, a worthless hotel employee named Sparky, another horde of midget gymnasts, and an ugly tourist. Obvious exits: Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, Southeast.
DRUNK> SE
[Excalibur Hotel - Casino] The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. A Wheel of Fortune spins. A Craps Table, filled to the brim with gamblers explodes with laughter as another point is made. You could swear you hear someone offering to bet Blood. Obvious exits: Northwest, Southeast, Up.
Gespry appears from nowhere and hits you in the back of the head with a snowball!
Gespry laughs!
Gespry proceeds to down an entire beer mug full of Tequila.
DRUNK> Say "Only Gespry would bring a snowball from Pinefar to Vegas!"
You mutter something about long stories.
DRUNK> wave Gespry
You stick your middle finger out at Gespry in a classic display of sorcerer unity!
DRUNK> Up
(Assuming you mean up the Escalator, you dolt)
The escalator teems with a mass of humanity. The slow ascent allows you to reflect on exactly how drunk you really are.... or is that just your reflection in the mirrors in the ceiling.
[Excalibur Hotel - Upstairs] The sound of slot machines is still audible from downstairs. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. Many shops are here for your perusal. You see Little John's Emporium of Impossibly Large Codpieces (this is obviously where the guys in the Dinner Show shop), Lady Gweniviere's Amoure of Crotchless Chastity Belts, King Arthur's Shop of Medieval Stereotypes, and Sir Lancelot's Store of Overpriced Tacky Camelot-Themed Tourist Baubles. Obvious Exits: Southwest, Down
DRUNK> Say "Hmmm ..."
You hiccup.
DRUNK> Get P
You take a P from inside your leather jacket and place it in the Room Title.
DRUNK> Cackle
You hiccup.
DRUNK> NE
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Village Pub] Tucked into a quiet corner of the hotel, the Village Pub acts as a alternate meeting point for drunk and weary gamers. Amazingly it is open! Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. Tables scattered around the bar are full of drunken patrons. A bartender named Sparky is not here. Also here: a drunk Aldrek, a drunk GingerII, a drunk Lurch, a drunk Sympatico, a drunk Dalimar, a drunk Dunryc, a drunk Skydancer, a drunk, a drunk Maligor, a drunk Nutmegg, a drunk and dapper Shallowgrave, a calm Kodos, a calm Ruriko, and a table full of boring DR players.
Aldrek gives you a Selendrial Salute!
Sympatico says, "You all here at this table are part of my sexual fantasies"
A DR Player manages to get his entire head up his own ass.
Lurch says, "Dragonrealms players make Gemstone players look like well-adjusted individuals".
GingerII cuts in front of you.
Aldrek yells, "BEDWETTER!!"
From somewhere down below you hear the sound of retching and of a another tool being implanted in an impossible body location.
The sounds of hysterical laughter emanate from below.
Teegra arrives.
Teegra strokes Lurch's hair. As she does, a Blackjack Dealer walks up and takes away several of Lurch's black gaming chips for some unknown reason.
Nutmegg grabs a paperclip from a passing waitress and pierces his own eyelid with it.
Nutmegg says, "cool"
Skydancer removes Maligor's pickle from inside her blouse.
Lurch says to you, "As your attorney, I advise you to drink heavily".
DRUNK> Nod
The world spins as you tip your head slightly.
DRUNK> take beer
You toss your empty onto the table and grab a 47 pound bottle of beer.
DRUNK> drink
You guzzle yet another beer.
DRUNK> Look on table
On the table you see an empty beer, an empty beer, an empty beer, an empty beer, a tip jar, a bottle of Vodka, and empty beer, and a magnifying glass.
DRUNK> Look in Magnifying Glass on Table
Peering through the magnifying glass you see Quavvy's brain.
DRUNK> prep 130
Yeah, right.
DRUNK> Sigh
As you sigh, time passes. Somehow you end up downstairs, but can't remember exactly how.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a twisty row of slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of twisty slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of slot twisty machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
Six burly security guards run past you into the next row. You hear the sounds of a scuffle and then hear an extremely drunken Drowmij scream "IRELAND RULES!!!!!"
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of F@#%&$'ing slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] Face it, you are in slot machine hell. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Elevators] The sound of the casino fades behind you. A security guard named Sparky checks random hotel guests for anything that looks remotely like a piece of blue plastic.
DRUNK> Take Key
Both your hands are full.
DRUNK> glance
You are holding a beer and beer.
DRUNK> Give Beer to Guard
The guard accepts your beer and waves you though.
DRUNK> Go Elevator
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Elevator 1-18] This small room is approximately the same size as your hotel room. Also here: Superman, Ellen DeGeneres, Harrison Ford, a worthless hotel employee named "Sparky, a horse from the dinner show, Thalior, and Pamela Anderson Lee wearing only a smile.
DRUNK> blink
You rub your bloodshot eyes.
DRUNK> l floor
On the floor you see a torn piece of paper, a broken cigarette, a piece of paper with the words 'Clean Me Up" written on it, an empty glass, a diopside, some full leather, a table leg, and a smooth stone. There is moss growing on the pile.
DRUNK> Press 14
The light under the 14 button illuminates as you touch it.
The elevator lurches upward.
The elevator stops and the doors open.
DRUNK> Say "Wow! what a dramatic elevator!"
You're babbling again.
DRUNK> Out
You stagger out of the elevator.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Hallway] The hallway here stretches off in the distance. The carpet reminds you that you probably shouldn't eat red meat anytime soon. You see Sassee's Room, Jandria's Room, Rhaindrop's room, Aldrek's room, Prestius' room, Dunryc's room, and a whole lot more rooms.
DRUNK> Go Rhaindrop Room
It appears to be locked.
DRUNK> Prep 407
You gesture and utter a mild profanity.
DRUNK> Cast at Door
A green light on the doorlock flickers on.
DRUNK> Cackle
You say 'Mwauahahah'
DRUNK> Go Rhaindrop Room
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Rhaindrop Room] This small elevator sized room contains two beds, a vanity, and a table. The loud whir of a fan can be heard from the bathroom. Over one of the beds is sign.
DRUNK> Look at sign
The loud neon sign depicts a knight doing battle with a fire-breathing dragon.
DRUNK> Read Sign
The sign reads "Medieval Slot Fantasy"
DRUNK> snicker
You smile mischievously.
DRUNK> Rub "O"
You reach up and rub the top of "O" in "Slot" leaving only the sides and the bottom of the original letter.
DRUNK> out
You stagger out, laughing madly.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Hallway] The hallway here stretches off in the distance. The carpet reminds you that you probably shouldn't *anything* at all anytime soon. You see Sassee's Room, Jandria's Room, Rhaindrop's room, Aldrek's room, Prestius' room, Dunryc's room and a lot more rooms. Also here: another useless hotel employee named Sparky.
DRUNK> look Prestius Room
On the door of Prestius' room is an ornate sign that reads:
Fulfill your Fantasies!! Empaths for Sale or Rent! Inquire Within.
DRUNK> Go Door
You stagger into your room.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Prestius Room] This sumptuous elevator sized room contains two beds, a vanity, and a table. The loud whir of a fan can be heard from the bathroom. The signs of a weekend of debauchery are everywhere. Empty liquor bottles, full ashtrays, and upsidedown shotglasses can bee seen in every nook. The bed is strewn with passed-out, half-clothed Empaths. A strange odor permeates the air.
DRUNK> Stack Empath
You gather up the Empaths and stack them neatly against the wall.
DRUNK> say "I know *they'll* wake up with smiles on their faces!
You smile self-delusionally.
DRUNK> take P
You remove a large bundle of unused P's from your jacket.
DRUNK> Say 'Time to retire these, I think"
You gibber incoherently.
DRUNK> Put P's in the Wastebasket.
You put a large bundle of P's in the Wastebasket.
DRUNK> wish for World Peace.
You whirl the P's around in the wastebasket.
DRUNK> stare
Prestius stares at you, wondering if you'll get the hideously bad pun.
DRUNK> L in bag.
In your travel bag you see some shirts, some pants, some hotel soap, some hotel ashtrays, some hotel towels, some hotel pillows, some hotel shotglasses, an Excalibur blackjack table, a Huggies brand disposable diaper, a laptop computer, some books, and some leftover buffet food.
DRUNK> say "A huggies diaper?!?!?!'
You gibber even more incoherently.
DRUNK> say "Someone is going to DIE!!!!!"
You make a note to yourself to "Never give Empaths the key to your room."
You feel something on your shoulder.
DRUNK> rub shoulder
It's the floor.
DRUNK> Quit
You settle into an uncertain consciousness, wondering if the real world can really be this much fun.
SEE YOU IN VEGAS!!!!!!
jon/Prestius I left my "P" in Las Vegas
------------------------------
Topic Pacific Time Zone (11)
Message The Wreckage Was Large
By PRESTIUS@PLAY.NET
Disclaimer: This post is the way it really happened. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. No names were changed to assist in identifying the guilty. Most of the quotes were actually said during the weekend at some point!
...
Welcome Back!
[You are currently drunk]
[Excalibur Hotel - Nexus] -You are standing in the middle of a casino. The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. You see rows of blackjack tables and slot machines stretching to the horizon in each direction. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. The press of bodies jostles your drink. Also here: an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a hideous DR Gamemaster [currently drooling], an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a horde of midget gymnasts, a lost soccer team, and an ugly tourist. Obvious exits: Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, Southeast.
DRUNK> NW
You stagger Northwest.
[Excalibur Hotel - Jesters Lounge] - This is the infamous Jester's Lounge. Sort of a Town Square Central, it is the meeting point for all manner of casino dweller, lounge rat, and the occasional GS Gamer. The bar here is staffed with friendly trolls that occasionally get your drink order correct of the first try. A bartender named Sparky ignores you. You notice something writhing on the floor. Also here: a drunk Rhaindrop, a drunk Bledixia, a drunk Bandor, a drunk Shadowkatt, a drunk Danay, a drunk Pelender, a drunk Rhys, a drunk Asineth, a drunk Niilo [invisible], a drunk Teegra, a drunk Jandria, a sniveling DR gamer, a drunk Mirare, a drunk Barquentine, a drunk VirtosAemergenTaalten and a drunk Turran.
DRUNK> look floor
On the floor you see Quaavy, laying in a pool of his own urine. He seems to have some sort of tool imbedded almost completely in his forehead. A group of GS Gamers are attempting to hide their obvious smiles .. and guilt.
Asineth says "..... even if I'm bleeding from every orifice."
A bar patron turns pale.
A bar patron snorts whiskey out of his nose.
A midget gymnast faints dead on the floor.
* A midget gymnast bites the dust!
> look on bar
On the bar you see a shot of tequila, a shot of tequila, a shot of tequila, a salt shaker, 3 limes, 25 empty shotglasses, 16 sqeezed limes, a beer, a jar of Steve's Pickles, a beer, a beer, a huge Warp Factor 69 drink system (covering half of the bar), a beer, a beer with a "P" floating in it and a shot of butterscotch schnapps.
> take beer
You grab a bottle of beer from the bar, nearly knocking three other bottles over in the process.
> drink beer
Ahhh .. refreshing!
DRUNK>Danay looks at Teegra
Danay begins to speak so impossibly fast that you have no hope of understanding what she is saying.
DRUNK> Say "Hmm ... she's having another vowel movement"
You grin stupidly.
Teegra greedily sucks down The Warp Drink of Serious Proportion
Rhaindrop says "That was a really big suck"
Someone says, "Look, she's sucking four at once"
Rhaindrop says "Suck my toe!"
For some reason, Sylvine exclaims, "I like Steve's Pickle!"
Asineth offers Shadowkatt a piece of chocolate.
Shadowkatt declines.
Shadowkatt says, "I don't like chocolate"
Asineth says, "You'd like it if you saw it on me!"
Harmonius says, "I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and show you what the big boys do"
Asineth covers her mouth.
DRUNK> rub Asineth
You rub Asineth's back.
Asineth says, "Try doing that to me when I'm laying down!"
DRUNK> grin
You drool.
Jemstra scowls at you.
Jemstra asks "Prestius, did you pee in this Lemonade?"
DRUNK> mutter
You mutter something about the difference between Pee and "P"'s.
DRUNK> snort
You take a shot of tequila from the bar and down it in one fluid motion.
DRUNK > say 'Now there's a verb I really like!
You say, "Blather blurble bliff I blinkle!"
Pelendur smiles knowingly.
Pelendur takes his 24th shot of tequila and pours it in his ear.
VirtosAemergenTaalten look like they are ready to go to War. Or is that play War?
Without warning, Rhaindrop unzips her skirt , turns around, and shows the entire bar, hotel staff, midget gymnast team, and a horde of Japanese tourists the tattoo on her "lower back area".
* Another midget gymnast bites the dust.
Asineth concentrates and her chest looks better (as if that's possible).
Sassee says, "I'm jealous that Empaths can concentrate and make their chests look better".
Sassee sighs deeply.
Sassee exclaims, "But! .. *I* can make my box vibrate"
Sassee winks.
DRUNK> say ".. and *I* can make your box vibrate from across the room!"
You say, "Blig *I* blimper splunge splurgle plink blot!"
DRUNK> think
Get real.
Turran smile sweetly at Asineth
Asineth decks Turran for no perceptible reason, again.
Bledixia adjusts her "Don't even think about it, I have way more hitpoints that you can imagine" button.
Bandor pulls a money clip from his beard.
Bandor asks, "Well Bledixia, are we going to gamble, or conceive another Simubaby?"
Teegra strokes your hair. As she does, a Blackjack Dealer walks up and hands you several black gaming chips for some unknown reason.
DRUNK> SE
You stagger Southeast.
[Excalibur Hotel - Nexus] You are standing in the middle of a casino. The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. You see rows of blackjack tables and slot machines stretching to the horizon in each direction. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. The press of bodies jostles your drink. Also here: an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, an ugly tourist, a hideous DR Gamemaster [currently attempting to jam his entire index finger up his nose], an ugly tourist, a worthless hotel employee named Sparky, another horde of midget gymnasts, and an ugly tourist. Obvious exits: Northwest, Northeast, Southwest, Southeast.
DRUNK> SE
[Excalibur Hotel - Casino] The cacophony of coins clinking and bells going off permeates the air. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. A Wheel of Fortune spins. A Craps Table, filled to the brim with gamblers explodes with laughter as another point is made. You could swear you hear someone offering to bet Blood. Obvious exits: Northwest, Southeast, Up.
Gespry appears from nowhere and hits you in the back of the head with a snowball!
Gespry laughs!
Gespry proceeds to down an entire beer mug full of Tequila.
DRUNK> Say "Only Gespry would bring a snowball from Pinefar to Vegas!"
You mutter something about long stories.
DRUNK> wave Gespry
You stick your middle finger out at Gespry in a classic display of sorcerer unity!
DRUNK> Up
(Assuming you mean up the Escalator, you dolt)
The escalator teems with a mass of humanity. The slow ascent allows you to reflect on exactly how drunk you really are.... or is that just your reflection in the mirrors in the ceiling.
[Excalibur Hotel - Upstairs] The sound of slot machines is still audible from downstairs. Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. Many shops are here for your perusal. You see Little John's Emporium of Impossibly Large Codpieces (this is obviously where the guys in the Dinner Show shop), Lady Gweniviere's Amoure of Crotchless Chastity Belts, King Arthur's Shop of Medieval Stereotypes, and Sir Lancelot's Store of Overpriced Tacky Camelot-Themed Tourist Baubles. Obvious Exits: Southwest, Down
DRUNK> Say "Hmmm ..."
You hiccup.
DRUNK> Get P
You take a P from inside your leather jacket and place it in the Room Title.
DRUNK> Cackle
You hiccup.
DRUNK> NE
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Village Pub] Tucked into a quiet corner of the hotel, the Village Pub acts as a alternate meeting point for drunk and weary gamers. Amazingly it is open! Garish lights blink off and on, searing into your eyeballs. Tables scattered around the bar are full of drunken patrons. A bartender named Sparky is not here. Also here: a drunk Aldrek, a drunk GingerII, a drunk Lurch, a drunk Sympatico, a drunk Dalimar, a drunk Dunryc, a drunk Skydancer, a drunk, a drunk Maligor, a drunk Nutmegg, a drunk and dapper Shallowgrave, a calm Kodos, a calm Ruriko, and a table full of boring DR players.
Aldrek gives you a Selendrial Salute!
Sympatico says, "You all here at this table are part of my sexual fantasies"
A DR Player manages to get his entire head up his own ass.
Lurch says, "Dragonrealms players make Gemstone players look like well-adjusted individuals".
GingerII cuts in front of you.
Aldrek yells, "BEDWETTER!!"
From somewhere down below you hear the sound of retching and of a another tool being implanted in an impossible body location.
The sounds of hysterical laughter emanate from below.
Teegra arrives.
Teegra strokes Lurch's hair. As she does, a Blackjack Dealer walks up and takes away several of Lurch's black gaming chips for some unknown reason.
Nutmegg grabs a paperclip from a passing waitress and pierces his own eyelid with it.
Nutmegg says, "cool"
Skydancer removes Maligor's pickle from inside her blouse.
Lurch says to you, "As your attorney, I advise you to drink heavily".
DRUNK> Nod
The world spins as you tip your head slightly.
DRUNK> take beer
You toss your empty onto the table and grab a 47 pound bottle of beer.
DRUNK> drink
You guzzle yet another beer.
DRUNK> Look on table
On the table you see an empty beer, an empty beer, an empty beer, an empty beer, a tip jar, a bottle of Vodka, and empty beer, and a magnifying glass.
DRUNK> Look in Magnifying Glass on Table
Peering through the magnifying glass you see Quavvy's brain.
DRUNK> prep 130
Yeah, right.
DRUNK> Sigh
As you sigh, time passes. Somehow you end up downstairs, but can't remember exactly how.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a twisty row of slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of twisty slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of slot twisty machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
Six burly security guards run past you into the next row. You hear the sounds of a scuffle and then hear an extremely drunken Drowmij scream "IRELAND RULES!!!!!"
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] You are in a row of F@#%&$'ing slot machines, each alike. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Slot Machine Row] Face it, you are in slot machine hell. Obvious exits: None.
DRUNK> Go Row
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Elevators] The sound of the casino fades behind you. A security guard named Sparky checks random hotel guests for anything that looks remotely like a piece of blue plastic.
DRUNK> Take Key
Both your hands are full.
DRUNK> glance
You are holding a beer and beer.
DRUNK> Give Beer to Guard
The guard accepts your beer and waves you though.
DRUNK> Go Elevator
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Elevator 1-18] This small room is approximately the same size as your hotel room. Also here: Superman, Ellen DeGeneres, Harrison Ford, a worthless hotel employee named "Sparky, a horse from the dinner show, Thalior, and Pamela Anderson Lee wearing only a smile.
DRUNK> blink
You rub your bloodshot eyes.
DRUNK> l floor
On the floor you see a torn piece of paper, a broken cigarette, a piece of paper with the words 'Clean Me Up" written on it, an empty glass, a diopside, some full leather, a table leg, and a smooth stone. There is moss growing on the pile.
DRUNK> Press 14
The light under the 14 button illuminates as you touch it.
The elevator lurches upward.
The elevator stops and the doors open.
DRUNK> Say "Wow! what a dramatic elevator!"
You're babbling again.
DRUNK> Out
You stagger out of the elevator.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Hallway] The hallway here stretches off in the distance. The carpet reminds you that you probably shouldn't eat red meat anytime soon. You see Sassee's Room, Jandria's Room, Rhaindrop's room, Aldrek's room, Prestius' room, Dunryc's room, and a whole lot more rooms.
DRUNK> Go Rhaindrop Room
It appears to be locked.
DRUNK> Prep 407
You gesture and utter a mild profanity.
DRUNK> Cast at Door
A green light on the doorlock flickers on.
DRUNK> Cackle
You say 'Mwauahahah'
DRUNK> Go Rhaindrop Room
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Rhaindrop Room] This small elevator sized room contains two beds, a vanity, and a table. The loud whir of a fan can be heard from the bathroom. Over one of the beds is sign.
DRUNK> Look at sign
The loud neon sign depicts a knight doing battle with a fire-breathing dragon.
DRUNK> Read Sign
The sign reads "Medieval Slot Fantasy"
DRUNK> snicker
You smile mischievously.
DRUNK> Rub "O"
You reach up and rub the top of "O" in "Slot" leaving only the sides and the bottom of the original letter.
DRUNK> out
You stagger out, laughing madly.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Hallway] The hallway here stretches off in the distance. The carpet reminds you that you probably shouldn't *anything* at all anytime soon. You see Sassee's Room, Jandria's Room, Rhaindrop's room, Aldrek's room, Prestius' room, Dunryc's room and a lot more rooms. Also here: another useless hotel employee named Sparky.
DRUNK> look Prestius Room
On the door of Prestius' room is an ornate sign that reads:
Fulfill your Fantasies!! Empaths for Sale or Rent! Inquire Within.
DRUNK> Go Door
You stagger into your room.
[ExPcalibur Hotel - Prestius Room] This sumptuous elevator sized room contains two beds, a vanity, and a table. The loud whir of a fan can be heard from the bathroom. The signs of a weekend of debauchery are everywhere. Empty liquor bottles, full ashtrays, and upsidedown shotglasses can bee seen in every nook. The bed is strewn with passed-out, half-clothed Empaths. A strange odor permeates the air.
DRUNK> Stack Empath
You gather up the Empaths and stack them neatly against the wall.
DRUNK> say "I know *they'll* wake up with smiles on their faces!
You smile self-delusionally.
DRUNK> take P
You remove a large bundle of unused P's from your jacket.
DRUNK> Say 'Time to retire these, I think"
You gibber incoherently.
DRUNK> Put P's in the Wastebasket.
You put a large bundle of P's in the Wastebasket.
DRUNK> wish for World Peace.
You whirl the P's around in the wastebasket.
DRUNK> stare
Prestius stares at you, wondering if you'll get the hideously bad pun.
DRUNK> L in bag.
In your travel bag you see some shirts, some pants, some hotel soap, some hotel ashtrays, some hotel towels, some hotel pillows, some hotel shotglasses, an Excalibur blackjack table, a Huggies brand disposable diaper, a laptop computer, some books, and some leftover buffet food.
DRUNK> say "A huggies diaper?!?!?!'
You gibber even more incoherently.
DRUNK> say "Someone is going to DIE!!!!!"
You make a note to yourself to "Never give Empaths the key to your room."
You feel something on your shoulder.
DRUNK> rub shoulder
It's the floor.
DRUNK> Quit
You settle into an uncertain consciousness, wondering if the real world can really be this much fun.
SEE YOU IN VEGAS!!!!!!
jon/Prestius I left my "P" in Las Vegas