Croutons

[Traelin]

Seriously. Screw croutons. I can never jab them adequately. You can't scoop them with the salad and when you stab them they crumble to bits. So whatever. Yea they're good but not enough to try to use them and fail inducing RL berserk.

[Gnome Rage]

... I can pick up croutons just fine. In fact, sometimes I skip the lettuce all together and do olive oil and vinegar croutons. nomnomnom

[Latrinsorm]

They're pretty much all I ate in restaurants from the age of 5 to 13. :nono:

[Gnome Rage]

I call this thread blasphemous because croutons are what make salads THE BEST.

[joehollywood]

I call this thread blasphemous because croutons are what make salads THE BEST.

Anyone who would issue such a statement surely doesn't understand the importance, strength and relevance of bacon.

[Gnome Rage]

Bacon shouldn't be muddled up by any other flavors. Bacon should be savored and separated so you can enjoy its its taste, unaffected by surrounding flavors!

[Ayamei]

Use chopsticks, and then you can snag little slimy bits of lettuce with your crunchy nomnom crouton with ease.

[4a6c1]

Croutons are gross, classless and gross. They ruin salads. They make pretty salads unpretty. CROUTONS ARE UNPRETTY.

[Gnome Rage]

CROUTONS ARE DELICIOUS.

not those bag kind - the kind you make yourself

[4a6c1]

Oh well that sounds complicated.

[Traelin]

Croutons are great I just have major issues navigating them.

[Gnome Rage]

Croutons are like a delicate woman, you gotta probe them gently rather than just shoving it right in. If you shove it in, they crumble all over! Try working it in gently - it also doesn't hurt to get them wet first.

[RichardCranium]

Croutons are like a delicate woman, you gotta probe them gently rather than just shoving it right in. If you shove it in, they crumble all over! Try working it in gently - it also doesn't hurt to get them wet first.

WRONG. You have to stab the crouton hard and show it who's boss. Also, a salad isn't really a salad without bacon.

[Gnome Rage]

Well you get crumbly croutons then!

[waywardgs]

Bacon shouldn't be muddled up by any other flavors. Bacon should be savored and separated so you can enjoy its its taste, unaffected by surrounding flavors!

Wrong. Bacon should be applied liberally to all meals as well as most major home appliances.

[Gnome Rage]

Pfft! Give me a plate of straight bacon and I'd be happier than a few bits in a salad.

[diethx]

Croutons are gross, classless and gross. They ruin salads. They make pretty salads unpretty. CROUTONS ARE UNPRETTY.

This, aaaaaaand...


Wrong. Bacon should be applied liberally to all meals as well as most major home appliances.

This.

[Gnome Rage]

you're just haters. Crouton haters.

[JDDZ]

Lots of emotion over a some stale bread. I do agree the with the bacon opinions, just keep bacon flavor to bacon. Bacon flavored stuff tastes like dog food.

[diethx]

Lots of emotion over a some stale bread. I do agree the with the bacon opinions, just keep bacon flavor to bacon. Bacon flavored stuff tastes like dog food.

Stop eating dog food.

[JDDZ]

Stop eating dog food.

Hey man, I've been through some rough times in the past. Honest now, I've stopped sniffing glue. I mean eating kibble.

[Cephalopod]

A few years ago, I was in a restaurant where my wife was enjoying a caesar salad. While consuming said salad, she found a crouton with a large spider embedded into it. This was not a spider that had wandered in late to the party and died: it was baked inside the crouton.

I have been unable to eat croutons since that day. So, fuck croutons.

[Traelin]

A few years ago, I was in a restaurant where my wife was enjoying a caesar salad. While consuming said salad, she found a crouton with a large spider embedded into it. This was not a spider that had wandered in late to the party and died: it was baked inside the crouton.

I have been unable to eat croutons since that day. So, fuck croutons.

/shudder

[4a6c1]

I've always wanted to try fried spider.

[Gnome Rage]

That's why you make your own!

[ZeP]

Seriously. Screw croutons. I can never jab them adequately. You can't scoop them with the salad and when you stab them they crumble to bits. So whatever. Yea they're good but not enough to try to use them and fail inducing RL berserk.

I would say there is still hope. First, just completely stop the jabbing. As you have learned it isn't going to work. Also, if you just sit and stab a salad repeatedly you might make yourself a target for some extremist vegan eco-terrorist. The scoop, if performed correctly, will work well enough. Be sure that you are using a fork as your chosen utensil. I know, I know.. Knives and sporks are much cooler. But if you are having trouble you really just have to backtrack to what works and refine your techniques.

[phantasm]

Good observation on the crouton fail, I once I ate my salad with these just so I could savor the croutons without stress.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31xe7V-CEpL._SS500_.jpg

[Back]

I would like to respond to the OP.

Dude. Croutons are great munchie food. Best eaten out of a bag with your hands. Forget the salad thing and go straight for the gusto. Buy a bag of croutons like a bag of chips.

[4a6c1]

Back. Dont do it. Needless carbs. They'll give you jelly rolls!!!!

Croutons are terrorists. Unpretty and terrorists. I really want to call the FBI. They should do something about this...

[Back]

I’ve heard you can trap these terrorist croutons in parmesan, ranch, or onion dips or dressings on the side.

[RichardCranium]

Lots of emotion over a some stale bread. I do agree the with the bacon opinions, just keep bacon flavor to bacon. Bacon flavored stuff tastes like dog food.

If you're not frying bacon to put in your salad, you're doing it wrong.

[Latrinsorm]

Let's be clear: if you're eating salad you're doing it wrong. You can do it the least wrong by throwing in some actual food, unless by doing so you are unwittingly playing into the patriarcho-misogynist conspiracy to trap women in obsessive self-measurement, in which case enjoy your calorie-negative lettuce.

[Gan]

There is a technique to successfully eating those deliciously bits of crunchy heaven in a square. Take your fork, hold at 45 degree angle, using 1 end tine of the fork gently guide it into the middle of the crouton. Its like the G-spot of croutons. Works almost 90% of the time.

The only thing better would be if your fork was made out of bacon while eating croutons slathered in bleu cheese.

nomnomnomnom

[Ayamei]

the g-spot of croutons, hah