Female co-worker

[Atlanteax]

Okay, this question is probably mostly for the guys. But the ladies are free to chime in.

.

There's a relatively new female intern where I work.

I have her pegged at 20/21 as next year is her senior year of college.

She's attractive, so I keep trying to talk to her... but it's almost impossible to do, despite my best efforts at generating small talk.

She seems to be either incredibly shy or just not interested. Doesn't seem to smile much either.

For example, just earlier, I noticed she seemed really bored, and not really doing anything at her desk... so I walked up and was like "bored, huh?" where she was "yea, not much to do right now." I tried to follow up with more small talk, but apparently it was a no go... she didn't seem interested in making conversation.

Meanwhile, I'm finding it a bit weird that she'd rather just sit at the desk, or wherever she is, and just stare out into space. Been like that for the last few days. :?:

Even yesterday, when she started having lunch in "my" office while I wasn't in the room, so when I came back and started working, she was like "oh, I'm sorry, is this your office?" So I was then "yea, but I don't mind, feel free to stay." (she was in the room yesterday too, was walked in by my immediate supervisor at the opposite desk, while I again was out of the room, and after killing some time on the computer she quietly left). I then tried to make some small talk about the weather, what she does here, college plans, etc... apparently not much luck. She'd rarely keep the small talk going, seeming to prefer to going back to eating her lunch, and then after her lunch, staying there and looking out the window, doing her "spacing-out" thing. Weird, to say the least... :weird:

.

Bugs me, as she's a young attractive female... but apparently it's a no-go? :shrug:

[Miss X]

Hmm, there are several possible explanations for this.
Firstly, trust me, staring into space for ages while at work is totally normal. I run out of things to do at work by 11am and basically kill time by staring into space, reading PC and chatting to the girls on the desks either side of me. However, the guys that come into the office, we tend to pretty much ignore, even Andy who is quite hot.

I think the main reason for this is intimidation, its kind of a girly atmosphere where I work and we all feel like we should actually be working if there are men around. I have to admit though, if theres a hot guy doing maintenance work or something we manage to find a reason to hang out in reception!

Maybe this girl feels like work isn't the right place to chat and stuff, she might feel bad for not having much to do? She could have a boyfriend who makes her feel bad for chatting with other men (been there....) or she could just be really shy, lots of girls get nervous around good looking men, seriously, I think I must come across as such an idiot sometimes when a guy tries to make small talk with me. I just give one word answers and avert my eyes, its insecurity I guess.

What you could do, is send her funny emails and stuff, maybe she would find it easier to start conversation that way? Just keep trying (don't get desperate though) Its not like you are being all slimy and hitting on her by making conversation, give it a while for her to feel comfortable around you! Good luck!

[DeV]

Maybe she just has alot on her mind. You should ask her what she thinks about all the time.

[Skirmisher]

A simple "Wow, where were you just now?" maybe?

Most people do like to talk about themselves but there are exceptions. I dont talk to much about myself till a certain comfort level is reached then then you can't shut me up...

Just keep on being nice...it sounds like you are doing all you can to be pleasant.

[Kitsun]

You should go up to her and say, "How YOU doin'."

Always seems to work for Joey...

[Sean]

I wish I had hot co workers :(

[DeV]

Originally posted by Wezas She was 40ish, almost into Weedie territory. Weedie is nowhere near 40... and anyway, women around that age 30's-40's are dripping with untamed sexual desire and energy...they definitely are lots of fun.

I work with some "soccer moms" who are hot (at least 2 are):drool: ..and always complimenting me on my body and asking for workout tips and suggestions its so hard to resist flirting with them at times...

[Souzy]

She obviously has a lot on her mind. Issues of some sort, maybe broke up with her BF? Anyway, I keep to myself a lot at work, but I do the small talk thing also. Sometimes I feel like conversating, sometimes I don't. Maybe she's having issues she doesn't wanna share with a stranger/co-worker.

[Sean]

The only thing close to hot in this office is the tanning salon across the street. Now if only I had an excuse to go there...

[Souzy]

Originally posted by Tijay
The only thing close to hot in this office is the tanning salon across the street. Now if only I had an excuse to go there...

OMG...no you didn't Sean. Ask them if they do pedicures or manicures. Some tanning salons do.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

There are tons of "hot" folks here at work, but you'd be fucking crazy to date them. Work and relationships RARELY work out. You should just treat her like a normal person. I'm in a career job, I'd hate to ruin it over a piece of ass (not like I'm looking anyway -- I'm quite content at home, but you know what I mean).

[peam]

Originally posted by Suppa Hobbit Mage
There are tons of "hot" folks here at work, but you'd be fucking crazy to date them. Work and relationships RARELY work out. You should just treat her like a normal person. I'm in a career job, I'd hate to ruin it over a piece of ass (not like I'm looking anyway -- I'm quite content at home, but you know what I mean).

What he said.

My room mate is currently with a girl that works at the same place he does. I'm just waiting for it to explode.

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Skirmisher
A simple "Wow, where were you just now?" maybe?My dad does that. :grr:

Some people just don't like talking. Stay the course, you should be fine.

[Meos]

just tell her you think she's pretty.

[Ravenstorm]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Some people just don't like talking. Stay the course, you should be fine.

Why in the world should he 'stay the course'? In his own words, it bugs him. So why continue to pursue someone whose behavior irritates him?

Don't go after someone who annoys you; you won't change her. Go find someone else who's hot.

Raven

[DianaBanana]

Dont bother with coworkers, it just gets messy. Go find someone else...plenty of fish in the sea.

[Edaarin]

One of the other pharmacy technicians yesterday was complaining to us about how old men keep hitting on her, and how there was one guy who kept trying to talk to her who made her sort of freaked out to go out into the parking lot alone. Is the girl only spaced out for you? Watch her interactions with other employees, and if she's a vegetable for them too then it's not just you.

If not, maybe she just thinks you're a dirty old man. Because, you know, anyone older than 25 = over the hill.

[DeV]

over 25 = over the hill. :down:

[Atlanteax]

Originally posted by Edaarin
One of the other pharmacy technicians yesterday was complaining to us about how old men keep hitting on her, and how there was one guy who kept trying to talk to her who made her sort of freaked out to go out into the parking lot alone. Is the girl only spaced out for you? Watch her interactions with other employees, and if she's a vegetable for them too then it's not just you.

Not just me.


Originally posted by Edaarin
If not, maybe she just thinks you're a dirty old man. Because, you know, anyone older than 25 = over the hill.

Why you lil' whipper-snapper!! Just wait till I get my hands on you!! :shakes fist in threatening manner:

[Souzy]

I'm gonna kill Vinh. I'm not over 25 yet, but I will kill him. :grr:

[Latrinsorm]

Originally posted by Ravenstorm
Why in the world should he 'stay the course'? In his own words, it bugs him. So why continue to pursue someone whose behavior irritates him?Because there's something else about her that he is attracted to. Nobody's perfect, and not talking a lot is hardly a fatal flaw.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

I'd go for it, and when I got fired for sexual harassment, I'd make her take me in and be my sugar momma.

[Snapp]

I wouldn't persue it.. work and the lovelife do NOT mix. I wish more people would realize that before mixing them. All that staring out into nothingness.. maybe she's just on drugs?

[DeV]

Work and the love life mix, at times, on ocassion. The company I work for is run by a married couple, the marketing department is run by another married couple. They manage it quite well and have been successful since the start of the business. It makes a difference that their married I know. Just throught I'd add that.

As a side note, I wouldnt pursue her just because she seems to be spaced out all the time and uninterested. That would turn me off.

[Wezas]

For alot of people, work is the only place they socialize. Work is the only place they have a chance of finding someone.

[Shari]

Please. 25 is not old. My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 5 years younger than him.

Maybe girls just don't like you, Edaarin. <ducks>

Oh and to cover my own ass its not robbing the cradle since we waited til I was 18 to have sex.

[Wezas]

Originally posted by Jesae
Please. 25 is not old. My boyfriend is 28 and I'm 5 years younger than him.


You need a younger man. :yes:

[Xcalibur]

Language non-verbal:

Watch how she reacts when you speak to her. Does she crosses her arms? her legs?

Does she looks more at the top right side of her head or the left one when she thinks (when you'Re speaking to her).

Does she scratches herself discretly, does she avoids your look...

There's so many thing you can notice to see if someone is interested in you or not...

One good I found is a bit complicated, but works 100% of the time (at least I think).

Talk to her about a subject you "care" (she would know you care, like a story of yours, something like that).

Make sure something can and will happen (phone rings, boss come) that will stop your conversation.

Wait and see if she will ask you to come back with the story.

If she does: interested
If she doesn't: not interested.

[Jenisi]

Why would you want to date anyone that weird anyway!

[DeV]

I came to that very same conclusion Jenisi.

because she has big titties?

[Xcalibur]

Because sex, in general, is something fun to do. And more people = more fun.

[Ravenstorm]

Originally posted by Latrinsorm
Because there's something else about her that he is attracted to.

Her looks. Which does not make up for irritating personality traits.

My advice: ignore her. Go find someone else attractive who you don't immediately want to change.

Raven

[Xcalibur]

It's sad when you realize (any men do realize that when he's around 16 to 36 years old) that some girls are just...

Hm... toys.

I think you all know what I mean. Some girls can only be taken into that perspective, as anything higher than that is pure nonsense.

[CrystalTears]

Let's hope the large effort to get her attention is worth it. If she's that much of a wet mop on a date too, please don't stay with her. Move on! There's more to life than a pretty face. Yes really.

[Latrinsorm]

Jeez, I guess I underestimated how bad not talking is to you folks. I'll retract my advice, then.

[CrystalTears]

Why? :(

Personally if after so many attempts someone I was trying to talk to and introduce myself to kept staring off into space or being that blank and distant, I would let it go. They know who I am and I'll continue the chit chat when I see them, but it's not worth it for me to get the cold shoulder when I'm trying to be nice and polite.

Plenty of good advice was given, but not everyone is going to agree to go after it with the information given.

[TheEschaton]

It's sad when you realize (any men do realize that when he's around 16 to 36 years old) that some girls are just...

Hm... toys.

I think you all know what I mean. Some girls can only be taken into that perspective, as anything higher than that is pure nonsense.

X, you're a fucking moron. This only further confirms it.

-TheE-

[DianaBanana]

Originally posted by TheEschaton

It's sad when you realize (any men do realize that when he's around 16 to 36 years old) that some girls are just...

Hm... toys.

I think you all know what I mean. Some girls can only be taken into that perspective, as anything higher than that is pure nonsense.

X, you're a fucking moron. This only further confirms it.

-TheE-

:popcorn2:

Cant wait to see the responce to this.

[Edited on 5-20-2004 by DianaBanana]