Superbowl Snacks

[Parkbandit]

For our poker tournement starting at 1 and the SB starting at 6, I'll be making this today:

http://cdn2.holytaco.com/wp-content/uploads/images/1.-Another-Good-Finished.jpg

Here is the ingredient list.. which I'm open to changing if it's good:

Ingredients:

The Field:
1 Pound of Guacamole
15 Oz. Queso Dip For The Steelers End Zone
15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
2 Oz. Sour Cream for the Field Lines

The Players:
15 Vienna Sausages
Helmets – 3 Oz. Sharp Cheddar Cheese

The Goal Posts:
1 Slim Jim for Each Goal Post
1 Oz. Monterey Jack Cheddar To Anchor (each)

The Stands:
58 Twinkies
1 Pound of Bacon
1 Bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos
1 Bag of Cheetos
1 Bag of Corn Tortilla Chips
1 Bag of Chex Mix

The Blimp:
20 Oz. Football-Shaped Summer Sausage (optional) (on second thought, no, this isn’t optional. Go buy one.)

TOTAL CALORIES: 24,375
TOTAL GRAMS OF FAT: 1,285
TOTAL COST: $86.47
TOTAL DELICIOUSNESS: 1 Billion trillion, dude. One billion trillion.

http://www.holytaco.com/ultimate-super-bowl-snack-stadium/

[Gelston]

I just did a google search for super bowl food. That beast was number 1 on images. Nothing else compares. Make sure you take a picture of your completed product... Looks fucking beautiful.

[NocturnalRob]

Anything to replace the twinkies? I just woke up. Can't think of anything right now, but I cant think of anyone that actually eats 1 of those, much less 58.

MORE BACON!!

[Gelston]

Twinkies are awesome. Pigs in a blanket could be a replacement though I suppose. And bacon hanging down the backside as banners!

[NocturnalRob]

Twinkies are awesome. Pigs in a blanket could be a replacement though I suppose.
Twinkies are what? Shame on you. SHAAAME

[Gelston]

Twinkies are what? Shame on you. SHAAAME

http://www.treehugger.com/woody-harrelson-wearing-real-deal-brazil-hat-with-shotgun-in-zombieland.jpg
I believe I have Tallahassee on my side.

[Parkbandit]

Anything to replace the twinkies? I just woke up. Can't think of anything right now, but I cant think of anyone that actually eats 1 of those, much less 58.

MORE BACON!!

Yea, we were trying to figure out a substitute for those as well.. nothing has such brick like form though... so I think we're stuck.

For the helmets, we've decided to switch to black and green olives, that we saw in another picture.

And yes, the bacon barricades are the fucking shit.

[NocturnalRob]

Can you weave bacon strips together? Those are pretty strong. And if it works, it would be fucking epic

[NocturnalRob]

15 Oz. Salsa For The Cardinals End Zone
also...lol

[Parkbandit]

We're going with a combination of Twinkies, Zingers and Swiss Rolls... as there is a sudden shortage of Twinkies at Publix.

I also went with 2 pounds of THICK CUT bacon instead of one.. and using a football tray for the 'green' color since guac is gross.

[Stretch]

... guac is gross.

How dare you.

[Gelston]

Guacamole is God's diarrhea. Which means it is delicious, be wise it's from God.

[Mighty Nikkisaurus]

Can you weave bacon strips together? Those are pretty strong. And if it works, it would be fucking epic

I am on Team Bacon. Bake woven bacon and use that.

Twinkies are yucky.

[Smythe]

Wings! Gotta work in da wings! No sauce, no breadin', just plain, hand-spiced wings!

- Smythe

[diethx]

I wish I came on the PC earlier, I have a ham and cheese egg roll recipe that i'm making today that would sub perfectly for icky twinkies.

[WRoss]

You should use tin foil for the Steelers helmets and cheese for the Packers.

[4a6c1]

Holy crap PB. That is awesome/horrifying.

My consistent date guy is having some kind of football party today. He tried to talk me into coming and I was like, "I...(stare. pause. watch face for five seconds and wait to see if he is joking) respectfully decline your invitation to watch violent mansports for an entire day but I support your interests and I hope you have fun."

I feel like I'm growing as a person. A year ago I would have scowled with disaproval, brooded angrily over the uselessness of the male primal mind for at least several hours and discontinued communications altogether.

ALSO. What is the proper conversational designation for today? Happy Superbowl Day? I keep getting jeered at when I call it Football Day.

[Tisket]

Anything to replace the twinkies? I just woke up. Can't think of anything right now, but I cant think of anyone that actually eats 1 of those, much less 58.

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w66/Sassy_Photos_2007/twinkie.jpg

The twinkie is so misunderstood and unappreciated. Besides, if they are good enough for the druids they are good enough for football!

http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w66/Sassy_Photos_2007/twinkie-henge-twinkies-239771_500_300.jpg

[Kembal]

Holy crap PB. That is awesome/horrifying.

My consistent date guy is having some kind of football party today. He tried to talk me into coming and I was like, "I...(stare. pause. watch face for five seconds and wait to see if he is joking) respectfully decline your invitation to watch violent mansports for an entire day but I support your interests and I hope you have fun."

I feel like I'm growing as a person. A year ago I would have scowled with disaproval, brooded angrily over the uselessness of the male primal mind for at least several hours and discontinued communications altogether.

ALSO. What is the proper conversational designation for today? Happy Superbowl Day? I keep getting jeered at when I call it Football Day.

Even if you dislike football, you're supposed to watch the commercials. How do you survive in Texas not liking football?

[4a6c1]

It happens. But just barely. If I espy a lynch mob I make a sammich for one of the menfolk and promptly take off my shoes. Sometimes I fry bacon and throw it at them and watch them fight over it like a pit of dogs. Eventually, 5 hours later, if they notice I am not getting them a beer I will then wrap myself in a confederate flag and pronounce something incorrectly with alot of Ees and drawn out awl sounds. This is where Glenn Beck once a week comes in handy. Finally if my rouse is detected (This often happens. My feet get cold and I like wearing shoes.) I will sprint away as fast as my leggs can carry me, changing every tv I pass onto either Nascar or Fox News. Then, I hide somewhere with alot of books and facts. Sometimes there are other women there. We all have alot of shoes and are good at making sammiches and distracting men with tv. Refugees of Football.

[BriarFox]

Corn dogs would be so much better than twinkies. Or maybe mini-eclairs.

[Parkbandit]

Turned out pretty good. Funny part is.. the Twinkies are like the best building cakes known to man. They are sticky enough on the bottom to give the structure support as well as how they stick together.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/Superbow2.jpg

[WRoss]

How ya feeling gib?

[Cephalopod]

This is one awesome platter of food.

[diethx]

This is one awesome platter of food.

x2. Looked better than the model it was based off of.

[Paradii]

How can you not like guacamole?

The guac I make is the mother fucking bees knees.

[Gibreficul]

How ya feeling gib?

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[WRoss]

Meant to post that in the superbowl thread

[Ryvicke]

PB--that thing looks amazing. This photo more than any words you've ever typed has edged me just a little closer towards being a conservative.

[Androidpk]

ALSO. What is the proper conversational designation for today? Happy Superbowl Day? I keep getting jeered at when I call it Football Day.

You crack me up.

[Parkbandit]

PB--that thing looks amazing. This photo more than any words you've ever typed has edged me just a little closer towards being a conservative.

You should stay a crazy liberal.. especially since you somehow equate a superbowl snack stadium with a political theory.

[AnticorRifling]

Built with care, layered to make sure there is something for everyone. If you listed the "ingredients" it sounds like a bad idea but when you bring it together it's something awesome. Nope it's conservative and salty snack food.

[Parkbandit]

Built with care, layered to make sure there is something for everyone. If you listed the "ingredients" it sounds like a bad idea but when you bring it together it's something awesome. Nope it's conservative and salty snack food.

"something for everyone" sounds like SOCIALISM! YOU FUCKING COMMIE!!

[Anebriated]

Friend and I built this for the game yesterday

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/167137_487454366593_508541593_5919522_7078856_n.jp g


And yes, that is a working Jumbotron in the endzone...(had the NFL Live app streaming through the phone)

[NocturnalRob]

You win.

[diethx]

OMG rice krispie treats. WINNAR.

[Anebriated]

In case anyone is wondering that is a chocolate football and it is on a stand constructed of thin mints..

[Cephalopod]

Someone needs to start a poll. Do we go to PB's party or Anebriated's?

The rice krispie construction looks pretty solid.

[diethx]

Both. PB's first and then Anebriated's for dessert. THIIIIINNN MMIIINTINBTISNTS

[TheEschaton]

Since PB wimped out on the guac, and it looked like Aneb didn't, definitely Anebriated's.

[diethx]

Except he covered delicious guac with evil sour cream, rendering it inedible.

[Anebriated]

there was plenty of un-creamed guac in a bowl on the counter. Had a bison chili in one end zone, queso in the other. dips/salsa in the top containers. Also had 200 wings and various cookies that my friends GF felt like baking.

[Paradii]

You just stole PB's thunder. Good job.

[Anebriated]

I feel bad about stealing your thunder PB so I present you with this:

http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s307/MSimon6808/Tits.jpg

[Parkbandit]

Really? You really believe you won?

I have 5 words for you rookie....

WHERE IS YOUR BARRICADE OF BACON!?

[NocturnalRob]

All I see is a sorry-ass ring constructed from single strips held together by toothpicks. Am I missing something or does that constitute your "barricade?"

[Parkbandit]

All I see is a sorry-ass ring constructed from single strips held together by toothpicks. Am I missing something or does that constitute your "barricade?"

Bacon > everything else.

[Rinualdo]

Turned out pretty good. Funny part is.. the Twinkies are like the best building cakes known to man. They are sticky enough on the bottom to give the structure support as well as how they stick together.

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e6/belike53/Superbow2.jpg

Nice job PB.
I may do something similar next year.

[NocturnalRob]

Bacon > everything else.
Mmm...yes. However, your equation is flawed, since more bacon > bacon.

INFINITE LOOP, PB!

[Parkbandit]

Mmm...yes. However, your equation is flawed, since more bacon > bacon.

INFINITE LOOP, PB!

Fact: Bacon > no bacon

Fact: PB Stadium = bacon

Fact: Anebriated Stadium = no bacon

Therefore: PB Stadium > Anebriated Stadium

It's simple math folks.

[NocturnalRob]

Your mastery of transitive property has trumped my inequalities, sir.

[Suppa Hobbit Mage]

Pretzels have broken through your barricade. You need thicker, more imposing, bacon.

[Cephalopod]

Except he covered delicious guac with evil sour cream, rendering it inedible.

Shut your whore mouth.

[Anebriated]

I agree, the bacon does kick your field up a few notches and mine had no bacon(we were thinking about a bacon weave roof, decided against). However I see some astroturf or some synthetic playing field that is not guac and I fail to see the Jumbotron in your stadium. Bacon can be the deciding factor if the rest of the chips(hah! get it?) were in place.

[Rinualdo]

I agree, the bacon does kick your field up a few notches and mine had no bacon(we were thinking about a bacon weave roof, decided against). However I see some astroturf or some synthetic playing field that is not guac and I fail to see the Jumbotron in your stadium. Bacon can be the deciding factor if the rest of the chips(hah! get it?) were in place.

A woman can have the most awesome vag and give the best bjs in the world, but if she only has one tit, she's still fail.
Key ingredients missing are key.
Failure to provide bacon is a heinous sin. Stop trying to justify yourself and simply acknowledge the mistake and correct for next time.

[Parkbandit]

Pretzels have broken through your barricade. You need thicker, more imposing, bacon.

Stop blaming the bacon that is really the fault of the Twinkies.

Fucking Publix must have had a run on Twinkies.. I could have used about 2 more boxes.

And PS: The bacon used was THICK CUT bacon.. Which is like 2 to 3 times bigger than regular bacon. I could have used precooked but that simply felt like cheating and I refused to lower my standards.

[Parkbandit]

Also, did I mention that the freshly cooked bacon dripped on the chocolate Zingers in multiple places?

[Cephalopod]

Also, did I mention that the freshly cooked bacon dripped on the chocolate Zingers in multiple places?

Unrelated: I received some chocolate-covered bacon as a gift at Christmas. It was disgusting.

[diethx]

Shut your whore mouth.

Relax, I wasn't talking about your sour cream.

[EasternBrand]

Eat more pineapple.

[NocturnalRob]

Relax, I wasn't talking about your sour cream.
We all know you'd open your whore mouth for his sour cream.

[diethx]

We all know you'd open your whore mouth for his sour cream.

You say that as though it's never happened before.

[NocturnalRob]

You say that as though it's never happened before.
Nachos is a Chatty Cathy. We all know it's happened before.

[Cephalopod]

This conversation is confusing me. I'm going to eat some pineapple and visit diethx's [REDACTED] in a minute.

[diethx]

SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE UNCLE FUCKER. <3